What Shall I Do?
I’m 17 and I had my first girl but since she was a closet one (I’m not) we couldn’t spend so much time together since she was from school and also she has a litter sister. Everything was fine but one day we went to a friends party and I saw her giving a lap dance to a guy she didn’t know and I was pissed (it surprised me because I’m not the jealous type) so I started drinking a lot till I couldn’t feel anything. Then the other day everyone was telling me that she also kissed the guy, so I called her and asked her. She told my it was an accident (she was sober) but the she told me she kissed him 3 times so I got pissed and called her a slut and I ended our relationship.
Later I noticed that I still had some feelings for her and I was going to forgive her because I really do love her. She told me that she could not be with me since I hurt her real bad and she could not trust me again. But the thing is I really love her and I want for us to be together. I told a friend of ours that I really loved her but he told me that she would not change and have an affair again. The thing is also that I had sex with someone else the day of the party but it was a mistake that I regret because I was drunk and not thinking straight. But the point is that I don’t know If I should insist with her to give me a second chance. Do I really love her or do I feel guilty even though she knows all about it.
Also my mom threatened me that if I were to see or be with her she will go to her house and tell her mom. Since I’m an only child I don’t know if she’s scared or something
Please help.
Meeting Girls?
Hey,
I’m a seventeen year old dyke in Maryland and I want to know where I could go to meet girls. I’m in college, but I’m stuck at a small conservative school for the next year so there’s not much opportunity there and all the gay clubs and bars are 18+ at best. I’m also extremely shy (I have social anxiety disorder) and I have absolutely no gaydar. Is there any hope for me?
Speaking of college, does anyone have any advice or experiences on coming out to a roommate? I’m so stereotypically gay that there’s no way I can hide it, but like I said I’m going to a pretty conservative college and I don’t want to have to deal with that kind of drama for a year.
Mixed Signals
Last year wasn’t an easy year for me. I was going through a phase (growing pains). I was paranoid and I was realizing that I had a crush on someone of the same sex. There was a lot running through my mind. Let’s just say last year hit me hard. So a friend of mine who I’ve known for about 3 to 4 years spoke to me. I’ve never really gotten the chance to get to know her really. I didn’t bother till now. It turns out she actually helped me out a lot. And after that day we began to talk each day to the point where we’ve become so close. I see something in her that I never cared to notice before. So to make a long story shorter I have basically fallen in love. She sometimes gives me mixed signals. Like for one I notice she gets hostile when someone tries to flirt with me. And how she’s mostly the 1 to spark up a conversation between us however sometimes she seems just as nervous and afraid as I am. Now she knows how much I care for her. I told her a few months ago. But I don’t think that was enough.
Basically I’m thinking back on the times we’ve spent together and there were a few signals indicating that there are hidden feelings that she chooses not to reveal because she is afraid. There was this 1 time when she and I were play fighting and she said “ooh yeah harder” in a jokingly way. However she never jokes around like that with me. Neither do I. I’m guessing she thought that would be a signal for her to get out from me. When she said that I was speechless. Then she said “sorry…bad joke”. There are several others but I’ll stop here. I just don’t know where to start. I sometimes feel like she’s testing my patience.
I’m a person who doesn’t like waiting but in this case I am but deep down inside I just want to explode. I’m trying to keep myself from doing so because it won’t turn out nice. And the last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings. I’d rather have her in my life then to not have her at all. That’s what I fear the most because despite all the mixed signals and emotions I get, I would hate to have her be thrown out my life. I feel that she feels the same way too.
I think maybe the reason she chooses to hide her feelings is because she is afraid to commit. We don’t live near each other. There are many things we have in common that aren’t noticeable. We may be 2 different people that have grown in 2 completely different environments but we have this connection that I can’t even explain. Of all the people I’ve known this connection is by far the strongest/strangest I’ve ever had. I just fear what might end up of it. I want to know what goes through her head when she thinks about this relationship we have. I remember the time I told her how much I cared for her. She was glad and very happy to know that about my feelings. However she seemed unsure. A week later she comes to me and tells me how she has been feeling so shitty and hopeless, crying about how much she wishes things could be. That day I didn’t understand what she was trying to say but I feel that a small part of it had to do with me. (No, it’s not that she doesn’t want to admit that she’s gay or whatever because she already told me that she’s bisexual).
Since we live so far from each other we keep contact through MSN messenger. The distance is what really kills everything. I can’t do much about it since I’m only 17 years old and she’s 19. This entire situation is just very complicated for me and I don’t know what to do about it.
Let her Know subtly
I have found that an easy way to let her know you care about her is through music. Make her a cd with some of her favorite music. It is an easy way to send a message. It is cute and thoughtful.
Here are a few songs that I found I liked and so did she:
Easy Listening, Love songs
Aerosmith - I don’t want to miss a thing
Alanis Morisette - Head over Feet
Bryan Adams - Heaven
Celine Dion - If you asked me to
Celine Dion - Because you loved me
Colbie Cailat - bubbly
Cyndi Lauper - Time after time
Danger Flowers - All over me
Edwin McCain - I could not ask for more
Edwin McCain - I’ll be
Fiona Apple - If we kissed
The Fray - Look after you
John Mayer - Your body is a wonderland
Lee Ann Rimes - But I do Love you
Ronan Keating - When you say nothing at all
Steve Poltz - Everything about you
William Tell - Just for you
Alternative, Classic and Punk Rock
Angels & Airwaves - Secret Crowds
Blink 182 - I miss you
The Calling - Wherever you will go
Creed - hanging by a moment
Dashboard Confessional - Hands down
Hellogoodbye - Here in your arms
Incubus - I wish you were here
Lifehouse - First time
Lifehouse - Whatever it takes
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel
Staind - Right here waiting
Third eye blind - Blinded (when I see you)
Yellowcard - Only one
Country
Keith Urban - I wanna love somebody like you
Rascal Flatts - Take me there
Pop
Alicia Keys - No one
Ashanti - No One
Avril Lavigne - Lot-ta-da (things I’ll never say)
Britney Spears - The hook up
Debelah Morgan - Dance With me
Evan & Jaron - Crazy for this girl
Jessica Simpson - The sweetest thing
Lisa Love - kiss me
Mandy Moore - I wanna be with you
Mandy Moore - Only hope
Michelle Branch - All you wanted
Sixpence None the Richer - There she goes
Teddy Geiger - For you I will (confidence)
Vanessa Carlton - Pretty baby
Vanessa Carlton - Thousand miles
Hip-Hop & R&B
Color me badd - I wanna sex you up
Gemini - Hypnotized
Mariah Carey - Touch My body
Ne-Yo - Because of you
Tweet - Oops oh my
Techno
Cascada - Everytime
DJ Sammy - Heaven
DJ Tiesto - Touch Me
Sonique - It feels so good
Please feel free to add to the list if you like.
Needing Man?
Thanks again for reading me. Has it happened to any of you this physical need for man?
I have been living with my girlfriend for 6 months, and we have been together for 3 years and a half. She is a very sexual person and I love that, the thing is, I am concerned about her cheating on me with a guy some day. She has done it before to her other girlfriends and I know she likes having sex with man although she finds them emotionally retarded and not attractive to have a relationship with.
Have you ever had these feelings? We have talked about it and I am considering having a “ménage a trois”, that way she would have sex with a guy and me kissing her all at the same time.
Am I crazy?
To Be Or Not To Be.. It’s Not A Question
Ok… I’m not sure if this is going to turn out as a question, or indeed I’ll just be writing a whole load of uninteresting information, but I’ll give it a go anyway…
Ever since I was about 16, I’ve always known that I’ve been attracted to women, but I was constantly telling myself that it wasn’t right and I always assumed it was a phase and that I’d “get over it”. I have no idea why, because homosexuality has always been an open subject at home, and my friends and family have never in known existence been in anyway homophobic… However, regardless of that, I reacted the way I did and it’s not a stage of my life that I’m particularly proud of.
I am now 19 and about to start university this coming October. I finished 6th form (high school) in 2007 and I’ve just spent the past year travelling. This may sound utterly pretentious, but I found myself, or rather I acknowledged and am now completely comfortable with the fact that I think (90%) I am gay.
I’ve told 4 of my closest friends (albeit twice in a rather intoxicated state) and I intend to tell other friends when the opportunity arises. However, I have one friend in particular (female) who I’m not 100% confident in telling. About 2 years ago I really liked her, and now, although I have no more emotions towards her, I would still find it really uncomfortable telling her. She is a very “girly girl” and for that reason (plus the fact that she comes from quite a sheltered home life) I’m worried about how she would react. I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I figure that if it is a friendship worth having, the fact that I’m gay shouldn’t pose any problems, (although you never know).
Another thing is that I’ve never actually been with a girl (hence the reason why I’m only 90% sure, I have quite a scientific mind and need evidence…). In fact the furthest is holding hands with friends. I’ve had boyfriends, and realized afterwards that really… boys aren’t my thing. I’m utterly petrified about having relationships with women and I feel as though I’m going through a second puberty, due to the fact that when there is a girl I like within a 5 meter proximity of me, I get jittery and can’t actually form sentences, which is truly bizarre because usually I just talk and talk. I think the only way to get over this, is to go outside my comfort zone, but due to the fact that I have no gay friends (bar one guy who is questioning his sexuality), I’m finding it hard to meet gay girls as I’m not the type of person who goes out clubbing on their own. I’ve concluded that the easiest way to sort this out is to join the LGBT social at university, which I plan to do… But at the same time I am so utterly impatient I think I might go stark raving made if I have to wait another 3 months.
I’m also about to go travelling round Europe for a month with the guy who is currently unsure about his sexuality, and he has assured me that we’re going out on the pull together, but at the same time I’m rather hesitant about picking up random strangers… Especially in a foreign country where I have no home… But we’ll see.
So I guess if there have to be any questions… they would be: Am I going about this the right way?
Can you give me any suggestions about what to do?
And any comment you want to leave… I will appreciate greatly.
Thanks
Fear
It will maybe sound stupid, but last night, while I was watching “The L Word” I discovered one of my deepest fears, that my girlfriend leaves me and goes back to her ex.
I am 28 years old and my life as a lesbian is short, Just 3 or 4 years, when I met her. Before we became a couple, we were just friends and she had a long time relationship. Sadly, we cheated on her and fell in love. We live together since last January and I am happy, but since we started I’ve been having these feelings of guilt and sorrow about her previous girlfriend, besides jealousy.
Last night, when I was watching that chapter when Bette and Tina cheat on Jodi and I just understood everything. I am afraid one day my girlfriend will wake up and realize she still loves her ex-girlfriend. I know it’s ridiculous because I have a lot of nice unique things and I don’t know why I feel like that. I don’t want this fear to grow because I am afraid I will destroy the most important relationship in my life.
How can I solve this fear?
Thanks a lot for reading me…
Just Need To Get This Off My Chest
Well, the thing is I’m new - to here and also to this whole sexuality thing.
My story is a little ambiguous, at least to myself, and I probably wouldn’t make sense because I’m really still pretty confused. I just need an outlet where I’m less likely to be judged so I can speak my mind.
I’m 18, coming 19 this year, and I have absolutely no idea what I am. All my life, I had identified myself as straight. I’ve had my share of crushes on guys, nothing serious though, and I dated a few guys very very casually. 3 times I ended up in a relationship with guys, but there had never really been anything special. The first time I was only 12 (that’s considered very young where I come from), and we never did anything besides holding hands and hanging out. All in all, we were more like great friends who held hands more than anything, and in less than 6 months it ended and I never even really felt sad about it or anything. The second time I was 16, we were best friends, and I never really figured out how I felt about him because we ended things really soon. We didn’t even get to holding hands, actually. The third time was sometime this year, and the point is while I knew logically that he’s really good for me, I didn’t feel anything for him. Needless to say, I ended it pretty quickly too.
If I’m honest, I suppose I’ve been attracted to girls for a while. Thinking back, it probably started when I was 14 or 15, that’s when I became more aware of girls. I check out girls more, I fantasize about them and basically I feel like I am attracted to them. But the point is, I have never liked one either, and I never tried dating one.
Don’t get me wrong, I think about guys too. It’s just that my experiences with them are still pretty limited; I’ve never gone beyond holding hands! It’s even worse with girls so I actually have no basis for comparison.
I come from a pretty conservative place, where gays and lesbians are frowned upon, maybe that’s why I never gave my sexuality any thought until now. I’ve been brought up with very traditional ideas, even kissing before you’re in a stable relationship with a guy is considered bad (sorry I know it’s rather suffocatingly stiff), so I basically don’t know what to do about this. A part of me believes that I’m into guys and that this whole girl thing is just a phase, but I don’t know. I can’t explain why I suspect I like girls besides whatever I had pointed out except that you know, it’s just a feeling. I’m just so confused because I wouldn’t dare to date a girl just to see how I feel about it. I mean it’s just so taboo around here. And I don’t exactly feel like dating guys either so… I don’t know. I’m just really confused. I don’t even know if I’m really straight or gay or bi.
Sorry this is such a long post and I’m not sure if I’m making sense at all but it’ll really be nice to hear some thoughts or advice or something.
Thanks!
Carmen
Law of Attraction and LGBTQ Liberation
I was a social worker for 25+ years before becoming a Law of Attraction Coach. During this time, I inspired and supported disenfranchised youth, high school drop outs, homeless/street youth, LGBT elders and the general LGBT community to have the life they desire. A very simplified version of my thinking during my social work years was: “I make the world better by fighting injustice”.
As I’ve integrated Law of Attraction into my way of looking at the world, the message inside my head has changed. Now I say “I influence the world most effectively just by being true to me.” In other words, I’m a revolutionary’s revolutionary just by naturally living true to my spirit. My soul, like all souls, wants me to conjure up my perfect world and then welcome it exactly as I desire. Can you imagine making the world a better place just by enjoying your life?!
So, these days, I LOVE inspiring LBQ women to also have the life they desire. What could be more far reaching than thousands of lesbian, bi and queer women happily living their lives, while emphatically knowing that “all is well”?!!!
So, imagine my delight to view a video that was publicly released today about Law of Attraction and LGBT people’s liberation. Check out the powerful new video of Abraham-Hicks speaking about the Law of Attraction and LGBTQ liberation.
WOW! Do you believe it is possible to powerfully promote LGBTQ liberation by simply living true to your soul? What are your thoughts and reactions?
Flourish on!
Judy
Where Does A Femme Fit?
I will start by saying that I am 19, bisexual (although I prefer women significantly over men, about 9 to 1) and consider myself to be quite feminine. While I’m not the typical blond girl, I’m tallish and quite slim with long copper hair. I wear skirts. I enjoy shopping. I can’t change a tire to save my life and high heels are my torture of choice (they just look so cute)!
I went to my local pride parade about a month ago and didn’t see anyone who looked like me at all. Lots of women who were somewhat less femme than me. I felt out of place; like the straight girl among the queers… and I am so not straight! It’s not that I don’t find the more butch end of the continuum attractive; it’s more will they even take me seriously looking as I do?
I like how I look. I dress the way I dress for myself and no one else. I don’t want to change to fit in with any group, I’m just scared that because we happen to fall into a minority, I risk isolating myself from others who can provide support, advice, friendship, and, dare I say, love.
Anyone with any experience on the matter?
