In Trouble, Need Advice

Hey there! I am in that exact same situation but I am dating someone who can’t get over her ex of 4 years. She says that she is in love with me but still “can’t” stop talking to the ex. When she’s with the Ex, she misses me, but when shes with me she misses the ex. All I can say is if you feel like you need to move on from this relationship then DO IT. DOn’t drag it out any linger than need be just because your wanting to avoid pain. IT’s not fair to either of you. Thank God you haven’t pulled someone else in like I was pulled in. This is not easy, just me. Give yourself some time away from your woman and spend it with other friends or family. Keep your self busy. Believe it or not you can be friends again one day. It takes healing time and having you both except that its over and that you are JUST friends… Then everything falls into place. Hope I’ve helped…

Take it from me, if you want to get past this and move on listen the “Same Here”s advise and distance yourself. I let a relationship drag on after moving out and my ex moving on. I got nothing out of it but sadder and lonlier. You see her and your like ” oh my, we were so good together” you forget about all the little things that tore you apart in the first place and you hang on to the hope that maybe just maybe things will work themselves out. If she’s not running back to you begging for another chance, then let it go and work through the pain. In the long run you will be happier and healthier. If you are meant to be together later, you will be but this time you will know what you will or will not accept even just as friends. Good luck and keep moving forward.

I was in a relationship for 6 years and when I ended I felt the same way. She knows so much of my life and has been through so much with me. I’d even say we grew up together as we dated through most of college and “became adults” together after. But the relationship ended so we needed to make changes – esp set new boundaries. After such a long time, I needed to remember who I was. We started by not talking for about 3 months. It was hard, but it was too easy to go back to that familiar support and mimic our relationship (just like you are, w/out the sex). After that 3 months, we re-established our relationship – truly as friends. She’s the person who knows me best now, and my current girlfriend (or about 8 mos) respects what she & I shared. But that trust comes from know that we both made a direct effort to put our relationship in the past (we broke up about 2 years ago). I know it sounds hard (it was so hard… probably one of the most mental exhausting periods of my life), but it was so worth it. I worry had we not truly broken up (which is sounds like you haven’t done yet – perhaps the words, but not in intent), we wouldn’t enjoy such a rich friendship now. It was so worth it.