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Okay, my “story” is just beginning and it would take way too long to go into details, but the gist is: how long does it take to let go of past relationships? A few months ago, I ended a long relationship with a man. I ended it for many reasons; one of course was my realization of my sexual preference. The list is a long one by far…. alcoholism… verbal abuse…. control issues… you name it. I left to start over and find out who I am again and start living life. The problem is, the more I try, the harder it is on my ex, therefore the less I want to move on because I can’t stand that I’m hurting someone.
My ex knows that I believe I’m a lesbian and it has been extremely hard on him. I told him because I thought it would make me leaving easier on him… boy was I wrong. Even though we had a disastrous relationship I still have a heart and it is killing me to move on while he’s in pain. I’m meeting new people and I have to keep it from him. I wish I could never talk to him again… move a thousand miles away; but I feel as if it’s not possible. Someone told me once: “what’s the worst that could happen? That he’d kill himself?”… and that is constantly on my mind. Like I said before, he’s an alcoholic… and his drinking is spiraling out of control at the moment. I’m the one who gets the phone call at 3 in the morning to pick him up… What am I to do? Ignore him and have something terrible happen to him? I hate the fact that he is still controlling my life and sometimes I secretly wish something would happen to him, like jail… So I wouldn’t have to deal with it.
I guess what I’m looking for is any ladies out there that had to leave a relationship before with any substance abuse problems and have some advice for someone like me. How long does it take to let go? What were your experiences like?