Those Famous Crushes On Straight Girls
Alright so… I hope and I’m pretty convinced I’m not the first one to have a crush on a straight girl. To be honest, I’ve never been in any kind of relationship with a girl before. I had many unsuccessful ones with boys but, yeah… Not at all working physically anymore and the emotional side had always been stronger for girls. I officially came out this past winter. I’ve been trying so hard for the past 2 years to block the fact that I was gay, but yup… not that easy. I’d rather be true to myself and take the rough path then end up playing a role my entire life.
To come back to my crush. She is pretty much one of the reasons why I finally decided to come out. I had no idea if she was gay… and I’m still not sure (but she has a major crush on this guy… for which I’m helping her out… and it’s killing me!) I thought maybe if I put myself out there, I won’t look silly by pulling a move on her and if she is, well the ball is in her court!
So this is the part where I need help/analysis. We’ve been in the same classes in college now for 3 years and pretty much never talked until this year in volleyball class. (Yes I have a volleyball class in college… :P) I was coaching a volleyball team and she was as well but her experience was pretty much crappy so I offered her to come and join me. I definitely needed a hand. So she did and we got to know each other a bit more. That was in November. By February, I had developed this major crush on her. (I’ve had MAAANNYYY OF THOSE in the past…but always for straight girls… geezz what’s wrong with me?) At least now I can recognize those weird intense feelings. So yes… huge butterflies since February now. I’ve managed to come out to her mid-February. She didn’t take it the wrong way at all and we talk about it quite often actually.
I know it’s very superficial, but analysis please. She’s very athletic, in the military (which doesn’t always mean something), she’s never had a boyfriend, yet she has a huge crush on this guy, her family is pressuring her to get a boyfriend, she’s very reserved, yet I helped her to open up A LOT! And yes that’s about it for now! My gaydar suuucckkss. I don’t know if she is giving me a vibe that she’s gay or it’s just strong wishful thinking. How to tell?
Many have suggested talking to her about my feelings. But I don’t know if I want to jeopardize our friendship. It’s still a new friendship and I don’t want to scare her off. Have any of you been in this situation before? I was in a dilemma whether I should stop hanging out with her to make myself forget her (but it would make it awkward for her for me to just peace out randomly) or to enjoy all the great moments I get to spend with her, but ending up hurting so bad every time. I’ve pretty much been doing option “B”. She’s leaving for a part of the summer as well… maybe her being far will help me? Talk to her before she leaves or shut up forever?
So. That’s that. I appreciate all the advice I can get. I just can’t wait for this long lasting intense crush to either develop or go away… 
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oh i get u.i like my friend,who likes a guy…A LOT! and i have to advise her and help her do sth to win his heart… whether she’s straight,bi or gay is complicated.but she’s bicurious,which makes things a little easier for me,but i’m actually in love with her so i don’t wanna be just an experiment or a passing-the-time for her. so what i find wiser for u and for me to do is check her feelings,first. see if there’s a chance that she may likes u,u know indirect questions,kinky joking and stuff.buy her presents,start making compliments and make her start wondering if u like her. if she seems interested,try to make her jealous somehow,if possible. either way,u gotta let her know how u see her in the end. confess to her everything that u feel. don’t compromise if her being just a friend of urs is enough for u. good luck
It’s hard to give you any advice. I think we would’ve needed more details. You don’t even mention how old you are… It would make a big difference. You said she never had a boyfriend before… But is she 19? Or 22?
I think u should tell her how u feel even if it would jeopardized ur friendship. The same thing happened to me in high school and i told her, and even tho she didn’t feel the same way im glad i said something. If she really cares about u it won’t bother her u expressed urself, and maybe she feels the same way about u but is afraid to say something.
Tell her how you feel? Wow that’s really scary I don’t think I’d be able to do that, and I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to risk it. How about more subtle things, like in conversation say something like ‘well would you ever kiss a girl?’ (maybe not the best example) but its one thing for her to be ok with homosexuals but it’s a complete other as to whether she would ever trek down the same path. Alcohol is always a good lubricant for those situations too. Don’t be scared to heat up the conversation a bit, probing lightly, and if she gets werided out of uncomfortable just back down before it gets too awkward and I’m sure you’ll both just let it slide. Much better than pronouncing your undying love for her and freaking her right the f*k out if she is straight and such a good friend.