Hej, I fell in love with a straight girl once, but I didn’t know her that well yet…she accepted the fact that I had a crush on her: I told her when we went for a drink (it’s not good keeping it inside) and just asked her to decline my feelings and to tell me that she was straight, so she did…because off the environment here, we never got to being better friends, but I will never regret showing her my emotions!!! and neither should you! I suggest you tell your friends in all the words you just put into your text! If she really is a good friend of yours, she will accept you to be gay and maybe she has to get used to it, but it’s only normal, so just give her some time…after that, you’ll be maybe even better then before! But never expect for her to answer your love back, ’cause you might get so hurt, your relationship as friends would remind you of that pain every time you get together again…+ whatever may happen, know that times change, new people will pass by, new events will accure…life goes on, you must treasure every feeling you had for her, even if the content isn’t right, even if it makes things harder…your feelings are yours and they are good just the way they are, don’t hide them, don’t run away from them; own your heart!!! and good luck xkx

I suggest you tell your friends= FRIEND (no “s”) , woeps!

I’m thinking you should tell her, ’cause this sort of happened to me. I hadn’t told my friend I liked her and later we got in this big fight about something stupid. Then all of a sudden she told me she had liked me a lot, and I thought she was super straight…but yeah…she wasn’t…I had just ruined it. Sort of confusing, okay forget my miniature story, and just keep the “I’m thinking you should tell her,” part. I could’ve just erased it…Hah.

this gurl i knew from h.s which i think she isnt pretty and all but shes very kind hearted, cute, warm, smart… just everything mostly > . . <
so same question… but im still a frd of her right now..

I haev the same issue . My friend Jessica is my soul mate . The other day she undressed infront of me and I couldn’t hardly bare it . I had to turn my head otherwise I’d drool at the mouth . I like that I am not the only one with this issue . Yeah I blew my chance to tell her and now she is in love with a jock and I am a drop-out so go figure . I have been Jessicas friend for a decade and I am growing more and more attached to her each day . It sucks but I am going to tell her because it’s getting to where I can’t stop thinking about her . So yeah I would tell her if I were you . I am going too .

i’m straight but i got the biggest crush on my friend i’m falling in love with her im in 8th n i known her since 7th grade when i change school’s she start cryin that touch my heart i have not seen her since last yr. but we tlk on fb n i start feelin it again i’m scare to tell her i love i don’t want to mess up our perfect friendship i always dream about us together i can’t live without her

You are all such beautiful and brave young people. I am glad that you are being courageous and saying what is truthful. There is nothing wrong with love. It is just one more emotion like all the others. Sometimes it develops into things, sometimes it fades away, you never know. The only thing you can do is act responsibly, tell the truth about things, and see what happens. This will all become a part of the really rich beauty of your lives.

It is beautiful that you are all supporting each other to live your lives so truthfully and in relationship to what you really feel.

I think I’m falling in love with my best friend but I don’t she know I’m a Bisexual. I’ve been have the feeling about and nervous sometimes around her I wasn’t sure but lately I’ve been feel like I want to be more than just friend also I ‘ve been having these dreams about her and I’ve been think about her alot which is confusing me more the think is she’s straight I think; see the thing is she has brought up that she not sure if she can see her self with a girl or I’m not sure I’m into girls when we have conversations also my parent whom I haven’t come out to yet joke around oh are you sure me and her aren’t together;anyways my best friend suggest when I told her what they said (parents) that next time they say something like that “say that ya we are together” which in for a minute we both sat there and look at each other and then she said “then say it was a joke but I’m a lesbian” it was completely awkward considering how I feel about and confusing because its not the first time she said something like that before when I was living with Christian family the mother found out I ‘m bisexual (she’s really Christian so believe woman and woman together is a sin) but anyway when I told her what happened on the phone and told her oh how they ask if she we where involved cause she seem to call me alot she said to me “ So what if we were I would just call you a lot more “ and also she compare her boyfriends to me (she to in any relationship now) like her last on she said “ he practically like a guy you ” see it confuse me cause she say she’s straight to people but she sometime flirt with me and it just the thing she says that confuse me . See I don’t know if I should tell her how I feel about or keep it to may self I guess I’m afraid to would affect our friendship and she my best friend so it hard cause I the person I would talk to about things like this I can’t talk too.Confused Don’t know what to do .

I also think I am in love with my friend. She is amazing. I can’t begin to describe her. We are going to different high schools next year and I’ve cried several times over her. A small part of me wants to tell her how I feel, but I’m worried about ruining our friendship. This is also my first real crush on a girl. I am still trying to figure out what I am. Do you guys have any advice for me? Thanks.

Mm .. Well . I have the same problem . we’re still friends after 3 years of staying together , but we’re mainly besties . I do everything for her , and i think she knows that i love her . But she still stayed as my friend , i guess . I tried ignoring her for a few months , but my attempt failed . I still had her in my heart .. and i barely slept because of that faint thought . I’m in love with her , even though she’s not pretty , not smart , she’s just too average . But i guess i can call her cute in my eyes . she knows i’m bi , and that i love girls more than guys . We spend our summers , winters , everything together . Even though we’re not even in the same class , i still walk her home everyday . And my house is pretty far away from hers . I think i really love her , but i can’t bring myself to say anything .

There are always going to be a million reason NOT to tell your feelings to the person you’re crushing on, but THE ONE reason to tell them far outweighs those other million.

I realize you all seem much younger than me, but I will tell you that even with age, the heart doesn’t discriminate…it falls for who it falls for no matter what! I fear I’ve lost someone I fell head over heels for because I told her my feelings and she obviously didn’t feel the same. Every time a thought of her passes through my mind, or someone brings her name up in conversation, or I see her texting a mutual friend, I feel a sting of loss. On some days it’s almost painful because i just can’t seem to erase her face from my mind. But you know what…facing my fear of telling her my feelings far outweighs this taste of loneliness. It took the death of hope for me to get over losing her but I know that the regret of NOT telling her would have burnt a hole in my heart anyways.

All those “what ifs” would have haunted me….”what if I had told her and she felt the same?” “What if she was waiting for me to make a move” “what if she just needed to know my feelings for her?”…WHAT IF WHAT. that’s what I say now. What if you tell that person and the worst thing happens…you lose them. You might have lost them anyways…crushing on them and watching them fall for others would have stung, denying your feelings might have made you resentful, distant, and sooner or later that bond you had with that person would have crumbled anyways. Sooner or later the truth comes out, your mask starts to fall away, and either way you’re left making the choice to love them and live in misery or let them go and move on to find someone who will love you back.

Just know that in time, your heart will heal, you will move on, and you will find someone else to fall head over heels with. Trust me, it might not feel like you will be able to survive losing that person…but you WILL survive. You will overcome it. And because you told your feelings you will never have that “what if” sitting in the back of your mind. You will know that you had enough courage and strength to take life by the horns and hand over your heart to someone…you banked on love, and yeah, maybe you lost…but at least you’re stronger than the 90% of everyone else who never says what they truly mean! Also, you survived…and the next time you fall for someone, you will have the strength to tell them your feelings as well. and maybe that time, the person will love you back.

The sooner you get over that fear of rejection and loss, the sooner you will be able to embrace the hope of love. Life is short, no one is promised tomorrow, so make the best of your “now”! And even though it may take the death of hope for you to get over someone, just know that you WILL survive.

So I became friends with this girl in 7th grade and we were best friends since then. I had always been straight but then I started having feelings for her half way through 9th grade. I didn’t wanna ruin my perfect friendship with her, so I kept it to myself and made sure to talk about guys all the time. My plan backfired and we got in a huge fight,I told her I liked her and not only that but I started dating a guy then too. So I never had time for her, so she faded out of my life and if we ever talked we were always fighting. After almost 10 months with my boyfriend we broke up and I was left alone. So I went back to my friend and she let me come back and said she missed me and everything. I was shocked at how quickly my feelings for her came back. I didn’t want to do what I had done before so I told her I still had feelings for her and had thought of dating her. She told me she had thought of dating me too. We flirted all the time and constantly talked about kissing. Finally I was driving her home and we parked on the side of the road and I finally got the nerve to kiss her. We even made out a little. After that, we constantly were trying to find time to be alone to make out. After making out many times, I found out she was talking shit about me behind my back and got really angry with her. We fought again for what seemed like months. I finally couldn’t handle it and started talking to her again. She told me how she couldn’t get me off her mind, she even had been having dreams about dating me and kissing me and everything. I told her yet again that I want to date her but she’s still reluctant. She says she’s still trying to figure out who she is, I really think she likes me but is lying to herself. But even with all this evidence I know deep down that she doesn’t like me back…I really wish she did though…

TO: I wish she liked me back. Well, this is what the ruling society does to people. People are taught, mostly through subliminal messages, to believe that they should only be romantically attracted to the opposite-sex. And when some find themselves attracted to the same-sex they get scared and distance themselves from the person they really want to be with. Some people are afraid of negative labels and don’t want it put on them so they deny what they feel.

Your friend likes you more than a friend but she doesn’t want the negative idea of that attached to her, so she needs time to figure herself out. She might take a chance and date you secretly or she might date you openly or she might not date you at all. Just know that she does like you and it doesn’t make her a bad person if she can’t deal with her feelings for you. It is not really her feelings that is the issue, it is how others think about same-sex romance that make her reluctant.

To Salty#1: thanx that really makes me feel better bout everything and I’m not just crazy thinking she likes me when she really doesn’t. Thank you

Now we have made it clear that we really have feelings for each other but we’re going to a Christian school next year and we don’t want to get kicked out or judged for how we feel about each other. Does anyone have any advise?

Ok, so I am a little relieved that I am not the only one with this problem. I need some advice too. I am head over heels in love with my best friend. This has happened to me before (falling for straight girls), but never this intense. She straight and happily married to a man, who is also a friend of mine. What complicates is more is that I have just recently come out. She has helped me through it as I am in my late 20′s and it is very difficult for me to accept being gay. I have no gay friends. We live in a small community of foreigners overseas. So basically we are always together. I get moody around her because I am constantly struggling with trying to meet more people and trying to get out more, but can’t seem to do it. And I want to stop having these useless feelings for her. She’s my best friend. Not at all gay. And I love her. I think about her day and night. I’m now mean to her sometimes just because I want to stop wishing I could be the one to hold her hand and kiss her goodnight. My feelings just keep seeming to grow despite the fact that I know there will never be that kind of relationship between us. She doesn’t understand why I get like that, and I just feel so frustrated. She’s the BEST FRIEND I will ever have. Do I tell her and possibly lose my best friend? Or do I not tell her and hope that someday these feelings will subside?

im falling head-over-heels for my best friend at school. she doesnt know i am lesbian yet but i want to tell her but she is confusing me majorly! our group used to pretend we were all married to one another and when everyone else stopped we didnt. she even sent me a marrage request on facebook. if i sit with my legs crossed she will sit on my lap. and even though it creeps out one of my friends she lets me put my arms around her waist. (i know i shouldent but i really cant help it). she went on a holiday recently and she brought us all a gift with a personal note attached but mine was different. she said that i made her feel like someone wanted her. and even when the other girls are talking about boys they like she never says anything. i get suttle hint like this all the time but im not sure if they are hints or if its just my mind playing tricks on me cause i love her.

im falling head-over-heels for my best friend at school. she doesnt know i am lesbian yet but i want to tell her but she is confusing me majorly! our group used to pretend we were all married to one another and when everyone else stopped we didnt. she even sent me a marrage request on facebook. if i sit with my legs crossed she will sit on my lap. and even though it creeps out one of my friends she lets me put my arms around her waist. (i know i shouldent but i really cant help it). she went on a holiday recently and she brought us all a gift with a personal note attached but mine was different. she said that i made her feel like someone wanted her. and even when the other girls are talking about boys they like she never says anything. i get suttle hint like this all the time but im not sure if they are hints or if its just my mind playing tricks on me cause i love her. HELP

i am in love with my best friend (lwk). she is straight and when my frds were chatting before, we talked about homosexuality and she said she just cant accept being with a person with the same sex as hers in a relationship. i want to get her out of my mind but i’ve been in love with her since primary 2. i know it is a very young age but i’ve felt attracted to her. we are very good friends and i don’t know wat to do with my feelings. she doesn’t know about me being bisexual and im not sure if i should tell her about how i feel about her because im scared she’ll think of me being a freak. i want to tell her i love her and just let me reject me so at least i know that’s that and its never gonna happen. i don’t not want to ruin our friendship by telling her tho because i hav accept the fact that we cannot be together but i don’t think i can take it if i lose her as my friend. any advice?

I have this same problem, I love a girl who I have known for years, we get on all the time, never have fallen out and can joke about everything. She knows I’m bi/gay, I don’t know what I am myself right now.
Anyways, we flirt without meaning to and we can have a laugh and talk about anything. The problem is, she has a boyfriend, and I see her as straight, but we were talking the other day and she was saying how she has had feelings of attraction towards girls, but our talk was interupted and I didnt have the chance to find out if she ever fancied a girl.
She knows I like someone, so I told her another girls name when she asked who it was because I was scared to tell her, scared she wouldnt talk to me again. Normally I am very open about who I like, I have had crushes on her and she has known about these when they have happened but for some reason this time I was scared that she might reject me and not do the usual talking about it, So I didnt tell her, and I wish I had, but this feeling of love for her, its not the same as my little crushes I once had, its strong, it is actually love. And I dont know what to do. Help?

omg! i dont know what to do either because im in love with my best friend but she doesnt know it.But on msn i was talkin to her then she said to promise her something so i was like i promise not to tell anyone.And she told me she fancys me like alot.And i was like really? and she was like yea and i told her we should talk in person about it but she never phoned me or anything.And whenever im with her she doesnt say anything about it.But i think shes just a little bit shy or something. P.s. Please help me!<3

I also have a similar problem. I’m so in love with one of my best friends who I’m pretty sure is straight. And I thought I was too until I started falling for her. I’ve known her for like 3 years but we’ve become very close within the past year. We’re both on the school basketball team so we see each other pretty much everyday. We’ve started to text each other everyday, all day, until one of us falls asleep. And she’s the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met in my life and she’s funny and adorable and ughh it gets so hard to be around her all the time but then it’s harder to not be around her because I constantly think about her! I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, let alone a girl. Certain times I think she feels the same way about me. I walk her to her classes and we talk about everything. But then she’ll start talking about a guy and I do too so I don’t make it obvious that I’m in love with her lol. But she’s also very religious which is potentially a problem if she does have feelings for me. And I’m just so confused. Should I tell her how I feel? I don’t to ruin our friendship because I think i’lll go insane if we lose this closeness. But on the otherhand I wantto tell her so badly! I need help!

I had the same problem as all of you. I fell in love with my best friend butbshe didn’t seem interested. I thought she had to like me because she would call me babe and flirt with me but I was terrified that if I told her she wouldn’t want to be friends anymore. I finally told her and at first she was terribly rude and seemed to make fun of how I was lesbian (which I’m just bi cuz she’s the only girl I’ve ever liked). After a while of fighting she finally admitted she was interested in dating but didnt want to because we are both christian. We kissed eventually then after kissing a lot and me begging her to date me, she finally agreed. We dated on and off for about a month. Every time we broke up, she was the one who broke up with me, mostly because she felt bad about coming between me and God. Finally I broke up with her because I felt bad about coming between her and God. Ever since then she hasn’t agreed to date me again. I still love her and we still make out a lot, but we aren’t dating. I had to accept that I will never be able to have her completely to myself, but I know she wants to be with me. For us it’s just best not good to be together right now, we’re both going through a lot and we just couldn’t handle a relationship that we have to hide from everyone. My advice for all you girls, is that if you really love her and if she really is a friend, you should tell her how you feel. It won’t be easy, but you won’t regret it.

I just remembered, before you tell her make sure it’s what you want, because I can never be best friends with her how we used to be. We hang out and talk and stuff but we also kiss. Just knownif you tell her things between you two will never be the same.

im just alittle happy that im not the only one. I’ve been inlove with my bestfriend for about 2 years now and I been told her and she sed she doesnt feel the same way and that shes sorry blah blah and that we should just be friends. I accepted it ofcourse because I dont want to lose her in anyway possible.. she’s the most amazing and beautiful person I ever met. I wish I didnt have these feelings for her because we will never happen. I try to deny it all but it backfires. I get so upset and mad when she talks about a guy or me thinking about her and someone else together. shell never understand how much love her. we tryed to not talk for a while to give me time and but it didnt work out, we missed each other too much. shes straight but my lips to Gods ears I wish she wasn’t. I cant get her off my mind for a second at times. fuck the “what ifs” and the “imagines” I just dont know what to do to get over this girl and still be best friends =/

i’d been in love with my bestfriend since the summer after 8th grade, we were closer than anything in the world, but she’s one of those southern prejudice types, she thinks bein’ gay is the most aweful thing in the world, during freshman year we started hangin’ out alottt more, she was everything to me, but i live in a place where if ur gay ur the biggest outcast in the world. so naturally, no one knows i’m bi. especially not her, if she knew, i’d lose her for good, we got in a huge fight bc shes datin’ this boy who is a huge jerk & hates me bc i openly tell them both wat i think about him, but i can’t help it, he’s a jerk to her all the time. i really wanna tell her how i feel, but we’re already fightin’ this would jus cause a ww3. idk wat to do….help?

Bisexual here! I guess we’re all going thru the same thing….i start off the same. im religious too but it’s getting just too hard to lock it in n pretend, just need to vent….neways a friend who i hated in the beginning, she was hung up on me intially and i was annoyed of her when we were little n now best friends…she moved btw, to anotha city. Been there for me and me for her, but now i’m constantly thinkin abt her n lookin at her in a diff way. I imagine kissing her n it feels wow but she’s straight…even tho she flirts playfully with girls n with me too. now i get jealous of any guys she talks too or any girls she flirts with. it kills me, i’m being paranoid so i’m distancing myself from her until i get over her…but i think she knows. im not good with hiding emotions, but now she started texting, writes statuses on facebook that only i can see..that im SURE off, had a mutual friend spy…something about a cute love story, nt mocking just random. she is popular. she did mention about lesbians having to be lesbians coz it’s not choice, its in born but im nt outa the closet n havent opened up to her but i think she knows. she gets more closer to me when i get away from her….she hs stopped writing a few flirty statuses taggin her girls…could it be coz she knows it hurts me?! neways, i need advice as to whether to be distant from her to the point where i can get over her? or tell her coz she might already know?

To fml: I know exactly how you feel, I wish i could tell you how to get over her but I’m in the same position. I guess I’m luckier than you because I actually got to date her after trying for a long time but it was the most dysfuctional relationship ever. I love her so much and think she is the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world but i know that I can’t be with her. And I can’t get her off my mind and i don’t think ill ever stop loving her but right now I’m just trying my best to be a friend to her even though it is super difficult. I wish I could make it work out but she will never love me how i love her and I just have to accept that and somehow move on with my life. I hope that you will be able to figure out what to do in your situation. I know how difficult it is and I wish you the best!

Well Im a lesbian and so is my best friend and i am absolutely in love with her but i don’t know what to do???

It feels wierd reading all these peoples situations which are smillar to mine. and im glad too. I’ve been in love with my bestest friend since about a year and a half ago. Although we have been friends for about five. We started to drift apart a little around the same time i started to fall for her, and i think the fact that we were drifting was what contributed because it made me realise how i feel. Then i began getting sexual urges and stuff, and what makes it more complicated is that she is quite affectionate with me at times. I noticed we hugg eachother and sometimes kiss eachother on the cheek like no one else. But this goes in fases. I tried to distance myself from her, but i can’t stop thinking about her so it’s impossible to keep it up. I want to tell her so badly. I’m so scared it would ruin our amazing friendship i just cant…

The same thing happened to me. She is straight and I am bi. I knew her for 2 years and I asked her out and she actually said yes. Her and I have been going out for about 2 years now. I don’t know how I would handle it if it was my best friend that I was in love with. Maybe just tell her you kinda like her, and see what happens from there. True best friends will remain your best friend no matter what.

OMD same here but a bit diffrent me nd ma friend kinda mess around a lot when we are a lone together were friends with benifits as she likes to call it anywaz at da mo she is linkin this guy she thinks is cute but she said to me thats she caint find anything wring with him so i said why are u tying to nd she didnt say anything bak she just went in to kiss me … i think she is bi like me but every time i ask her she tells me shes not i think she is just scared of wha people might say . and i also think she likes me to but wont admit it because my friend tells me that he all ways catches her staring at me in class and that she asked him if he liked me and he said no we just friends and she said good wanna try and keep it that way. he thiks shes jelious of our relation ship and sees him a a fret but every time i ask her lets go out i know u love me she just says i do love you but i caint its driveing me crazy what should i do i mean i am head ova hells for this girl i dont want to be friends with benifits any more i wanna have a relationship with her i dont want a to have to share her i want the whole thing GOD WHAT SHOULD I DO

okay so my storys pretty much the same as the comments above but i feel like i need to share it with the rest of you seen as you have all been so open. so me and my best friend have been real close for about six month now.. im in a relationship with her male cousin and everything yet i still cant help feeling the way i feel about her. we are really close we tell each other everything, we sleep in the same bed, get changed in front of eachother and everything but as far as im aware she just sees me as a friend. were always playing and kidding around pretending to flirt and stuff.. and our other friends and even my mum jokes calling us ‘lemons’. but in my opinion i dont find it as a joke anymore and i wish she would feel the same way :/ i want to tell her but i dont want to ruin our friendship as we are both straight. yet weve both discussed that it is a possibility that we could be bi.. even though weve never done anything with the same sex.. plus we never discussed being bi together or anything like that. im 15 and shes 16 and i wish she would turn around and tell me she feels the same way

I guess my story’s pretty similar to everyones here, in one way or another I’ve been feeling stongly about my best friend for about a year now and it’s killing me! She’s straight. she’s had a couple of boyfriends and she only seems to talk about boys in that way, and on the numerous occasions in which she has actually been asked out by girls, she’s always said no. i know she’s got nothing against same sex relationships but i worry that if i tell her how i feel it will change everything – and i know that what we do have is special. i feel if i were to tell her she’d most likely be shocked, and maybe she would distance herself from me… All i know is that i feel so happy when im with her and so down when i’m not. i find it painul not being with her – even now… i’m also a Christian! The other thing is, she’s going abroad in a year or so for Uni so that makes me wonder if i should just go for it since we’re gonna be apart anyway… I really just want to get it all off my chest. Does anyone have any thoughts?

Thank god I’m not the only one with this problem! Okay, so the girl I’m falling for i just met this school year. I knew from the moment i saw her face and heard her voice that i was in trouble. We are now like bestest friends and i cant get her off my mind. I have started to constantly dream about her. Every time i close my eyes i see her face, every time i am home alone in silence i hear her voice. When i see her face, hear her voice, or even get a text from her i get the butterflies and i cant stop smiling, hell, even thinking about her gives me the butterflies. Every time i see her talking to a guy i get extremely jealous and want to beat the crap out of that person. Plus, every boyfriend she’s had this year has made her cry. One of them even told her to go kill herself! When i hangout with her i can’t stop staring at her. I was at her house of friday and saturday and i could have sworn that she was looking at me like i look at her. I might just be going crazy. Not to mention I watched all 3 seasons of South of Nowhere and it just made me soo confused!! The show is like the life i wish i had. I forgot to mention that every time she touches me i get like this weird feeling that i cant explain but i drives me crazy! Plus every time we hug i never want to let go and she smells amazing! i could be blindfolded and i would still be able to find her with my sense of smell alone!! I just dont know what to do anymore! when im with her my mind is at peace but when im not with her she is the only thing i think about and i get really sad. My grades have also gone down the toilet because i cant concentrate on my school work. I just don’t know what to do anymore!

Katay, i really relate to what you’re saying! Well, after comming here the first time i decided to tell her once and for all cuz i couldn’t bare it anymore! I had pre-warned her before i told her so she wouldn’t be quite as shocked. When i told her, which was the other day lol, she was really good about it, though she had no idea all this time and she made it sound like she didn’t feel that way about me. i didn’t ask her out, i just confessed. I know she loves me very much and she made it clear that we’ll still always be best friends and nothing will change, but she’s not in love with me. Even though im still feeling pain, it does feel good to have let it out.
Katay, it is a difficult thing to say to your bestfriend, but you either just say it and see what happens and then move on or you just move on without saying. i think it’s a hard thing to say but you’ll feel less pain for sharing it. Whatever you do, if you choose to do anything, follow your heart; i just knew i had to tell her. i know it’s made us better friends for it at least

So glad to hear that im not the only one with this problem. Although you guys on here all seem much younger than me, i do understand. Let me first say- you are in 7th-9th grade, you have a lifetime of love and heartbreaks ahead of you. No matter if you think you are LGBT, dont let your heart get too wrapped up on one person, loves come and go, but i do encourage you to go with your feelings and explore what this crazy small word called love means. Its the highest feeling and the lowest and worst heartbreak.
I have a friend who is straight. She and i have been friends for about 6-7 years. Weve always been close- to the point where her husband(at the time) and sister made remarks about us being more than friends. We both laughed it off and i at the time thought nothing of it. She lost her dad 4 years ago and i remember sitting on the floor with her going through pictures and her just sobbing in my arms. I lost my mom and brother 7 years ago and i knew what she was going through. I had been the weak vulnerable one at one point and i no longer will ever be that way and i knew then that i would be a very protective friend- and i have since then. I sort of had an idea that maybe my feelings for her were deeper than her just being my best friend, but she was still married and i was young, so i was just there for her. Soon after she got a divorce and we got alot closer. And those feelings got stronger. I quit the job that i was working at (where she also worked) and i didnt see her near as much- she got new friends and i was feeling so jealous because i couldnt be there with them. That is when i knew i had absolutely fell in love with my best friend. Shes gorgeous smart and she just in a way completes me. We never actually stopped talking but about 4-5 months went by and we ddnt talk as much, but i still had feelings for her. Here recently she started another job with me and now we see each other everyday and are usually together on the weekends. She is absolutely my best friend and i try to drop
hints to let her know that i feel more than that, but it just seems as if shes not getting it. Haha. I couldnt ask for a better friendship- only that she could see how much more i love her. Its becpme quite hard to work with her day to day. I find myself trailing off with these daydreams (good lord that sounds so sappy. I have it bad huh?) but i just cant get over the risk of telling her. Weve been through so much together and i cant imagine losing my very best friend if she doesnt feel the same way. But then again i dont know whats worse- the risk of losing her or the what ifs if i dont tell her. I know i should be the one giving advice to you guys, but if you are around my age and have any advice it would be greatly appreciated. And i wanted to share my story with you younger ladies. No matter how old you are- youre heart is going to still feel love- it just grows wiser with age. – krd.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is going through this! Last September my parents sent me to an all girls therapeutic boarding school. Pretty soon I met my friend, lets call her K, and developed a bit of a crush on her. After my first two months at the school we decided to move in with each other. We became fast friends, and I felt pretty privileged because I’m a bit of a nerd, and when I first met K she was beautiful and quiet, and didn’t seem the least bit nerdy. Soon though I found out that we had a lot in common and really clicked. We had so much fun as roommates. We would play cards, read together, and talk. We literally spent all of our free time together and I realized that I was head over heals in love with this girl. K liked to lean on me, sit on my lab, touch my ears, and even change in front of me. It drove me crazy, but I was just so happy in the moment, and too scared of ruining things, that I didn’t tell her how I felt. When K and I went home for Christmas break we texted each other constantly, and said “I love you” many times throughout those texts. After break things with K were better than ever. We started taking naps together(and the beds at that school are pretty small let me tell you) and we shared so many heart felt moments, that we begin to call each other “best friend” K in general isn’t a people person, and didn’t have many friends at the school, so I really was her one and only. People started to refer to us together, and we could always be seen together, laughing, or cuddling around the school. Soon though things took a turn for the worse. Around early March, K told me that she was leaving the school on April first. I was devastated, because obviously by this time K was my life, and I couldn’t imagine living without her. That next week I called my parents, and begged them to take me out of school. They agreed, and my leaving date became April 2. The whole time this is happening, I kept thinking, “We have to make this the best month ever, we have to keep in touch” but K had a different idea. She started becoming more distant, she was hardly in the room, and begin talking, and hanging out with other people. She stopped all physical contact, banning me from sitting on her bed, and giving me foot massages. She stopped wanting me to take naps with her, and even stopped holding hands, and leaning on me. Throughout this time I cried a lot, and became extremely needy, demanding answers from K. She refused to give me any, and even started snapping at me for asking. I was devastated at my friend and loves change of affection. But by the end of the month, things were alright, and we had a few of the old moments. On the day that K left, she even hugged me goodbye. First off me and K live in completely different parts of the country, so when we both left school, It obviously became impossible for us to see each other. For the first week apart, I tried texting K, but she didn’t want to talk to me, so after a bit of an explosion on my part, I stopped trying to contact her. I waited a good week and finally received a text message from her. She was distant, and told me that her and her boyfriend had broken up, and that she was hooking up with other guys. She was distant, and I could feel my heart breaking. I waited then for two agonizing weeks for K to text me, or call me, but she never did. So finally two days ago, I texted her and asked her to call me sometime this week. She said that she would call on Tuesday, so that means tomorrow. I am just so confused about the whole situation. We were close, happy, and it seemed almost like in love for many months. But then abruptly things changed, and I can’t figure out why. K used to want to talk to me all the time, but now it is just me making the effort. I feel like I am loosing her, and that breaks my heart. I was beyond happy when things were good with us, and don’t want to give that up. I just don’t understand why K’s sudden change of heart came about, and because of this I am scared to tell her that I am in love with her, because I am almost certain that she will reject me, because she doesn’t seem to want me in her life anymore. I have know idea, what to do, and feel like I can’t breath half the time. Love is difficult.

Yep… Love truly is the hardest thing to experience. But theres so much to learn from it. The heart doesnt care if its male or female. The heart wants what it wants.
In my situation i can honestly say that i am not sexually attracted to my best friend. It goes so much deeper than that. I truly love her. I want to just hold her and have the intimacy but the sex has never been something ive thought about. Not that im not open to that side, but its just the fact that i love her more than that- its just just some attraction and ill be over it next week- this has been on going for years and its driving me insane being so close to her but feeling like i cant tell her how i feel. Its killer.

I get what you’re saying Renae. I am only 17, and you are wiser, but i completely understand My best friend and i have only been this close for the past year, yet when i told her, her reaction was why didn’t you tell me sooner! she doesn’t want anything to change between us and it’s not as hard feeling this way now that she’s there for me, and me telling her has actually made us closer.
I told her because my feelings were getting too much and i felt like i just had to tell someone, because i feel so close to her it just felt right to tell her. It’s hard for me knowing that it can’t be but i don’t feel like i’m going it alone, now that she knows.
i’d say you won’t lose her Renae if your that close, so if it feels right to tell her, tell her. she is your best friend! when i told mine she was the one actually crying because she was afraid she was going to lose me all together! This is worst case scenarion anyway; you may be pleasantly surprised, and if not, best friends like these don’t just leave you. What you have is something special

Yes it is truly special. But terrifying nonetheless. Lol there are sometimes when i see her and its like she looks at me in a way that makes me think shes got something going thru her mind, but other times its just like whatever… Idk.. Maybe one day i will get my courage up. Maybe ill do it when we get drunk so if she says she doesnt agree ill blame it on the alcohol! Hahahaha!!!! Thats pitiful isnt it? Im re reading my comments and ive never had it this bad. Not even for my childs father. Me and my son and her and her son all went for a walk in the gardens yesterday and it was so peaceful. Where are you from?

I think you’ll know when to tell her when the time comes It sounds like you’re in deep. What, so you feel even more for her than the man of your child? i’m just trying to work out why im feeling so strongly about “X.” It’s more than i’ve felt for any guy and i’ve never felt this way before for a girl, so i’m confussed ? I’m from Scotland, though i’m now living in England x

Absolutely i feel way more for her. She has been there for me in times that i havent been there for her. And it kills me to think of those few months that we hardly spoke just from being wrapped up in life. But i always knew she was a phone call away. I dont understand it either. Its like ive always felt something in the years weve been friends- we connected more so on so many different levels than my other friends. And now im finally realizing what it is. Hang in there it will work out for u too. Im in alabama- in the u.s.

I live in Texas! haha just thought I would contribute. (: but K lives in Massachusetts. ): and I’m 17 also. I have a question for you guys though, how long have you known your best friends for?

I have known jess for ab 6 years. And we hit it off and became best friends right away. Good luck!! I hope it all works out for u.

Only a year lol! but that doesn’t seem to have mattered

My name is pris west yes I am deaf hard of hearing I know sgin lauguages for deaf yes I am very very alone by myself I am very rude moods I hate godame fuck peoples lipsread I that that shit pris hate do clean I am so sickenn of that little shit I hate older people my realname is prscilla helen west if you want answer me 2335704 message me priswest20@yahoo.com send me email

Renae, I’m in exactly the same situation, except I live in Australia, and she’s engaged. I know no matter how many times I attempt to decipher the times she’s given me those glances, or invited me to things as her plus one, or travelled 500 miles to visit me, I’m never going to be able to reconcile divulging my heart to her (yep — I’m being a bit sappy, too). The strange thing is, I have no desire to do more than kiss her, but it’s being with her, and being proud to be with her and have her as my companion that I want so intensely! I’m a firm believer that despite the torment of keeping it in, the right time will come, and you’ll feel the words slip from your mouth before you can stop them. Wow — it feels so wonderful telling people that this is how I feel!

I know! It feels good to talk ab it. I dont know what it is ab her that makes me feel the way that i do- i just do. Lol ive seen her hurt by soooo many and it gets me fighting mad. I cant imagine if she got engaged. I would be devastated even tho i know id never have that with her regardless. I sympathize with u and i do hope one day the words just come out. I cant bring myself to say them tho. Wish i could

I am trying so hard not to be crushing on my friend. She has the nicest eyes, and loveliest smile and i keep thinking about her lips. recently we have started to work together and its quite difficult. she is straight and i am gay and she is forver flirting with me but i want to prove a point to her that gay girls dont lust after every girl they see. this is now very difficult (and probably funny, if it didnt hurt me so much), but i am lusting after her at the moment, i try really hard though not to say too much. but bloody hell, i just want to hold her and kiss her and tell her how wonderful she is !! damn she’s hot !! how sad am i ? i just read that back and i sound like a blood teenager – im not !! im in my thirties and i should know better, but i cant help it. just cant stop thinking about her

Sarah- lol ya kinda had me wondering if you were jess. Hahaha i wish! Jess abd i just recently started working together and it woulda been kinda cool if you were her and she did feel the same! but i definitely understand. She is in her early thirties, i am in my late 20′s. And youd think with us being older and being friends for so long i could just come out and say it. We talk ab everything else. But its the one thing that terrifies me and intrigues me at the same time. Idk it really isnt fun. Hope it all works out for you! And just so you know- just because you fall for your very best friend doesnt mean you fall for every woman you meet. I wouldnt even really consider myself bi, because shes the only woman id ever be with- besides lucy lawless (xena) hahahaha but if you think she feels the same go for it! You never know! But i know thats much easier said than done. Good luck!

Thank you for your advice everyone who has similar stories. I have known my best friend L since 6th grade we are now in 8th grade. she is aware that im bi but i dont think she realizes that i have feelings for her and she is most definitely straight. heres where my story is different. i hardly ever get to see L, we dont have any classes together or anything,so i dont see her at school too often but when i do, she is always surrounded by people. if im going to tell her, id like to do it in person, but she has a twin who i am also friends with. even if i went to their house, it would be nearly impossible for me to get L alone. it would also be awkward for me to invite just L somewhere without her twin sister. I dont want to be mean or make anyone feel uncomfortable. how do i do this?

This is very complicated and confusing. I’m friends with this girl,we’ll call her Abi, for about 6months now. I have known her for about two years but we only became close friends a few months ago. I started talking to her alot because i really fancied her. At the time i thought i would never come out, but i did two months ago, just to my friends. I told her, and then I told her i liked her for months and she was really nice about it, saying oh thats fine, i dont mind. It kinda made me mad that she didnt show any emotion but i know that she didnt want to hurt my feelings.

Anyways, after some awkward texting she told me that i was like a sister to her and she wouldnt want to ruin our friendship. I accepted that, and everything was fine. I still really like her though, and feel like im only her friend because i fancy her. I know its bitchy, but i cant help it. The thing is, that she’s very dependant on me, she says that i’m her closest friend now.

We text all the time, but i feel kinda bored because i still like her but know that nothing will happen. In order to try to stop liking her and see if i actually like her as just a friend, i stopped texting her for a few days but she got very upset. 

I dont know what to do, i feel like such a bitch, i know i’m only her friend because i like her so much, but i am so much more to her.

I want to talk about my feelings to her, but anytime i do she’s just like “oh i really dont mind if you like me”

I’ve recently accepted the fact that I like girls. Its not that i was really indenial about it, it was just like one of those things that u know is there but you can’t really place it until its right there in front of u… If that makes any sense at all lol Well the reason I’m saying this is because I accepted I am a lesbian when i started to realize i developed really strong feelings for one of my all time best friends. I’m a Senior and shes a junior. I recently told her that i really like this girl, and she was super supportive saying that she’d always be here for me and that she loved me and she was glad i trusted her enough to tell her. I’m almost absolutely certain she’s straight. Its just sometimes when we’re together I start to think she’s not. we cuddle and i always lay on her lap when we watch movies. and it seems like we flirt a lot. Maybe I’m just imagining it or maybe she likes girls too? I don’t know if i should tell her that i like her or if i should just continue our relationship as it is and now that she knows i’m a lesbian, wait for her to make the next move? PLEASE HELP

It’s nice to know we are not alone. I just recently discovered that I’m bisexual and realized this when I began to have strong feelings for my best friend. I know she has had many boyfriends and says she is straight but I’m not quite sure. She knows I’m bi and accepts me for who I am. She says that no matter what nothing could change our friendship but I’m afraid that if I tell her then she won’t feel the same. She is the only person that I’ve come out to because I’m scared of what others will think. I know I will be heartbroken if she doesn’t say that she loves me back. She is always wrapping her arms around me and sitting in my lap but I don’t know if that’s just because she’s my best friend or because she likes me. I want to tell her but at the same time I don’t. What should I do?

I am a lot older than most of you but have the same problem. I am falling hard for my next door neighbor. We have been friends for 7 months when I moved in. She is a lot older than me and I think she is straight. I’m 38 and she’s 61. She is the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life and gives me heart palpitations. She dated a man 2 years ago but was treated badly. Someone tried to set her up with a guy recently but she told me she didn’t want to. I get a vibe a lot that she may like me but I am scared to death to lose the friendship and having to still live right on the other side of her wall. She doesn’t know yet that I’m a lesbian and I have been trying to figure out how to come out to her w/o freaking her out. I treat her better than the last guy she was with-like she deserves to be treated. I greet her when she comes home from work and carry her things in for her and she calls me things like sweetie, and my dear all the time. She has also told me how beautiful I am and I tell her that all the time. She has been SO supportive while I look for a job-trying to help me cuz she doesn’t want me to move. I am having such a hard time with my feelings. She is really stressed with work and really needs a soft place to fall and I want to be that for her. I have never felt like this for anyone in my life.

Dear Erin Keep your feeling to yourself because it seems she is just being nice and is old enough to be your mom and them some. Please don’t mistake kindness or friendship for love. It would be a big mistake.

Wow Mandy. Your response is shocking. I’m not sure how old you are but I can tell you that romantic love between a 38 year old and 61 year old is certainly possible. Things are a little different once you’re out of your twenties. My best friend is 25 years older then me. If she were not very happily married to a man for 20 years, we might well be lovers by now. So back off with your age discrimination.

Erin– coming out to her is a good step even just in terms of developing your friendship. You’re not really friends yet if she doesn’t know such a big part of who you are. If she reacts badly then that is good information for you to have before you invest much more energy into this. Be bold, do it. If you are 38 and have never felt this way about someone before then I think you are getting a big sign that you need to DO something about it! Love requires boldness and bravery! Many blessings to you!

argula rose-thank you very much and I really appreciate your response. I am older than most of the people who seem to be posting and I am a very different 38 year old. My best friend in the world is 59 and my second best friend is 55. I am very out of place with people my own age and love between me and a 61 year old is definitely possible. She has been giving me some vibes that she feels something. I think if she does, then it really really scares her. She is half Latina and brought up strict Catholic and due to her age, those kind of feelings would be hard for her.

I have been trying to get the best time together to come out to her but it always seems to not be the right moment. I agree that it is important in the development of our friendship that she knows. She is a woman who is hard to get to know and I have made tremendout progress with getting her to open up to me and she doesn’t talk well about her feelings. I am feeling really bad because I accidently hurt her feelings tonight. I called her and apologized but she definitely didn’t sound like herself, like maybe something else was bothering her. She said she’d see me tomorrow and I hope that she is ok. I’m going to get up early and wash her car again like I did last weekend. I just feel so bad.

@ Argula Rose Okay mame I was just trying to help. If you want to keep being delusionnal then fine it is not my problem. I just tell it like it is. You sound a bit full of your self and conceited when you said this: “My best friend is 25 years older then me. If she were not very happily married to a man for 20 years, we might well be lovers by now.”

Just because she is your bestfriend doesn’t mena she would want to be with you. See what I am saying about mistaking friendship for love. It is very easy to do that.
@Erin Please leave her be I don’t know her but she seems to been through alot in her lifetime and needs a break from relationship.

Hi erin!! I can totally relate to you. Im in my late 20′s. Seems that except a few, everyone posting on here is around middle school age. Didnt know quite what i was getting into when i posted. Dont let that discourage you. From her vocabulary she sounds very young. I dont know if you read my past posts, but i understand completely. The woman i am in love with and i do not have quite the age difference that you do, but it is most definitely possible.
I can also relate to you being “out of place for your age”. All of my friends that i am close with range from 35 to mid 40′s. I just dont seem to mesh well with people my own age.
Where are you from? Its so nice to hear the stories of people in similar situations as myself. Its pretty hard when you think you are getting vibes from them. I want to ask her about it so bad sometimes. And its like i am the only other female she will act like that around. But then other times she is so, i guess flirty would be the word, around men as well. So, like you said, it never seems to be the right time.

Maybe one day.

A. Rose– i totally agree with you on “you are not really friends if she doesnt know such a big part of who you are”. This is so true. Abd sadly, after 6-7 years, i have kept it to myself as well.
I do agree that even if she doesnt feel the same way, if youre truly friends they will be supportive and theyshould know.

Great point!

At erin— how did you hurt her feelings?

Renae-Hi. Thanks for responding to my post. You do sound older than your age and it’s nice to know someone can relate. I am from New Orleans, btw. It has been so hard for me with these feelings for her-never felt like this before. There are so many times when I think she may feel something. She doesn’t date at all. She has had offers to be set up with men and she won’t have any part of it. The last guy she dated a few years ago did not treat her the way she deserves. I actually treat her WAY better than he did.

I hurt her feelings last night. I saw her in the morning when she was leaving and she had on a new dress and she looked incredible. I told her how beautiful she looked and she left for work feeling really happy. I have been sitting on the steps a lot waiting for her to get home in the evening since I am severely underemployed right now. I always ask her all about her day and help her carry all of her things into the house. I was feeling snarky about the job situation. I told her that I was going to go nuts if I didn’t get a full time job soon. She suggested that I right an article for my profession and attempt to have it published. I didn’t think and I laughed loud and sarcasticly after she said it. Her whole demeanor changed and she tried to get into the house as soon as possible. I realized what I did and called to apologize. She sounded really upset and said “that’s ok-it was a crazy idea anyway”. I told her that it wasn’t and I was insensitive because I was tense and I was very sorry. I was worried about her staying mad. She was fine today though. I got up early and washed both our cars and watered all the plants in front of the house and that made her happy. She did tell me that she didn’t sleep last night and I really hope that didn’t have anything to do with what happened.

I am really going to try my best to come out to her this weekend. I have it planned in a way that I will know whether she has feelings or not. That way if she doesn’t, then I can somehow try to get over mine, and eventually pursue something else. I have a couple women on match.com email that they are interested and I have been leary of doing it because of her, and the job issue. It will be extremely difficult for me though to get over the feelings that I have-it is so intense and I wish I could take care of her for the rest of her life. She has also been so supportive of me with the job situation. She always is looking for jobs for me and told me that one night she was lying awake at 2am trying to figure out what to do about my situation so that I wouldn’t have to move. She loves having me live next door. She has told me on several occasions how beautiful I am and everytime she says it, it gets to me. I have to tell her this weekend.

I just talked to my lady for a little bit and now I want to take care of her even more. She has terrible insomnia and for the first time she admitted to me that she is afraid. It made me feel bad. We live in a violent city and she is afraid of violent burglaries or someone coming into her apartment. Maybe that’s why she lived with her mother for years as an adult before Hurricane Katrina. BTW, she lost her home and almost everything she owned in the storm. She is very guarded with her feelings/emotions and you almost have to heimlich it out of her. It is a very big deal for her that she even told me that. I feel helpless because in some ways she still keeps tight boundaries and won’t let me in too close. She has a lot of stuff going on in there and I wish she would talk to me more.

Dang this is too much information you putting out there about this women.I think she is well guarded about herself and feeling because DOESN’T WANT HER BUSINESS IN THE STREETS. Maybe she isn’t in to you like that and just likes having a good friend around. Just saying.

Hi my name is Samantha and I need some advice. I’m bisexual and I’m completely in love with my bestfriend. Don’t tell me I’m too young because I’m 15 and I know what I’m feeling. Well me and this girl sky have become really close friends lately. We started hanging out and sharing secrets. One night I texted her and told her I was bisexual. She was super cool about it and she said she supported me. But lately I’ve been getting hints that she might like me. She hugs me , she pretended to kiss me , and one time we were laying next to each other and she held my hand. This girl is driving me crazy. So I worked up the courage and I told her I was in love with her. She texted me back and she said I love you too. I told her not to say it if she didn’t mean it. She told me she meant it. We haven’t talked since. Maybe I mistaked her actions as just friendly instead of romantic. I have no idea what she thinks of me. Maybe she likes me too? Can someone please give me some advice. Thank you so much.

Well, if she said it back i would of thought that she is interest and hasn’t said anything since because she doesn’t know what to do now you should talk

I have to agree that if she said it back abd you asked her not to if she didnt mean it! Talk to her!

Hey guys! Just wanted to let yall know that i have finally come out. I didnt confess my undying love for jessica, but i did meet somebody. She is a wonderful! Her name is sonnette (sonet) and we spent an amazing evening togetger! Now i have pretty well told everyone, and it feels like such a burdens been lifted… Guess whar- im an all out lesbian girl!! loud and proud baby! Now im fixing to start on my life long goal of getting my girl in a threesome with mel etheridge! yea right!

im in love with onw of my friends… one time she told me that she was bi but i dont know if she still is or not what should i do should i find out and tell her or should i just leave it at friends what should i do i need help please write back something helpful

I am an older lady, I came out to my bestfriend who I believed with all my heart liked me and if she didn’t she would support me like she always does. I kissed her on the cheek and she now needs space and time. My bestfriend no longer. She used to take my calls, and now she doesnt even want me stopping over to say goodmorning. Wasted friendship. She was soo sweet that I confused it,but I thought she would at least remain friends. It hurts! Nothing I can do!

@ Jane you are another perfect example of how women especially lesbians mistake friendship for love. You cannot assume anything even with best girl friends. Come on lady you know you went too far.

Well reading these comments makes me feel less alone!

@Darline, from your post it seems that you think that women (especially lesbians) keep mistaking friendship for love? Most people have mistaken friendship for more than friendship at one time or another. After all, can you really have friendship without love or affection to begin with? Surely if it feels right in your heart to pursue that avenue and see if it can be more can’t be wrong?

However, saying this I am still confused as to what route to take. I am a little older than most of the women on here (I’m 26) and I am also in love with my best friend. What makes it worse is that I live with her. We met at university where I fell hopelessly in love with her (I have been in love with her for 8 years through countless bereavements and breakups) and a year after graduating I moved to the same city as her. We didn’t live together right away, it was only after a year and a half of living in the city that we moved in together (with 2 guys who we know who are like brothers to us).

Recently it has become more and more difficult to live with her. She’s straight and therefore inevitably has relationships with guys. I get so jealous. I get so depressed when I see these guys with the girl that I have been hopelessly in love with since university. I push her away because I cannot come clean about how I feel about her and that makes me miserable and makes her confused and hurt. I shut down when I realise that I cannot tell her how I feel because by doing so would mean that our 8 year friendship would be gone. This is killing me.

I have tried getting over her and being the friend that I know that I should be – the friend that she deserves and has always thought that I was. But I can’t. Plain and simple.

I know that it was a mistake moving in with her (I know that I was selfish for doing so and very stupid listening to my selfish heart rather than my head). I know that I should move out but this is going to hurt her again. I don’t know how to solve this without hurting her.

Wow looks like theres heaps of us out there! :O I met a girl at uni this year and we immediately became really good friends. She is really smart, funny and beautiful and we can talk for hours and see each other almost every day, i feel as though i have known her forever! I have never felt this way about another person before. I am only officially out as gay to my family and closest friends although most people guess which way i swing because i kinda fit the lesbian stereootype.. Even though i know my girl is straight i am planning to let her know how i feel as it seems to be affecting our friendship which is absolutely priceless to me. I love her more than anything, and although it makes me feel sick to see her happy with a guy, i can’t imagine my life without her and her happiness is paramount. Sorry about this sob story.. need to get it off my chest, i feel like i’m going crazy and it is amazing to know i am not alone!

Dear Lexi plese get over it and yourself and don’t tell her. You will make everything akward alll for some silly crush. Girls tend to fall in love really easily. I must have fell in and out of love like six times in the 10th grade alone. Give it time and step back.

I’m in love with my bestie too!!! Man, we’re all fucked…

Like everyone else here, I’m really glad other people have the same problem! For me, my best friend, lets call her Ally, I am totally and completely in love with her!! She is so amazing, there’s no way to put it into words. I have known her since 7th grade and we’ve become the best of friends since. But the odd thing is, I cant quite classify myself as straight or lesbian, or even bisexual, because ever since I found that I really love Ally, I’ve looked at other girls, but I dont find any other girl attractive other than Ally!! Its only her!! So, there’s not really anyway for me to “come out” because i have nothing to come out about! It seems like she might be lesbian, she even once told me she was contemplating her gender preference. I said I was doing the same. We haven’t spoken about it since, partially because whenever I bring it up she blames it on being “tired” and not knowing what she was talking about and then changes the subject. Does this mean anything? But whatever happens, I know that I love her with all my heart. I would do anything for her sake, and i know she would do the same. She is the bestest friend i have ever had, but other than how most of you would feel, I’m pretty sure that if I told her I was lesbian, nothing would change between us. Unless she felt the same. Though I’m still scared that it might change. Strangly enough, true I am physically attracted to her, I more love her because she needs someone to love her and protect her. I feel that the only way to do this is to be her girlfriend. Also, unlike most of you, when she dates other guys, I’m not jealous in the least! More that I want to make sure that he knows that he is lucky, and that if he breaks her heart, I’ll break his face! She means more to me than anything, and I dont want to see her try to endure and cover up any more hurt than she already has. Anyone out there have any advice? Or similiar stories? I even apprieciate you having the patience to have read my story, so thanks! >w< Oh, and to all you out there who are saying "dont say you love them and stop wasting friendships" and stuff like that, I'm not asking whether I should tell her I love her or not. I'm just looking for a place to spill my guts. If I somehow get someone who gives genuinely good advice or has a similiar story, I'd feel lucky. Thanks!

to K: you should find a way, any way, to talk to her! Even if she is shy. She probably justs needs a little push, thats all. I think if you guys just talk to each other, it will be resolved. Whether it will be a good or bad resolution i cant say, but at least you’ll have some kind of closure. Hope it all works out!! ^_^

@ Kaya you story is sweet, best friends are always the greatest relationships. They know you from inside out. But like I always stated girls or women tend to mistake friendship for love all the time, no matter who the person is, male or female. If you really want to tell her how you feel. It will be the ultimate way to test your friendship. If she like you back that will be great but if you gets weirded out and stops speaking to you then you will know she wasn’t really a true friend.

@Darline thank you for the advice, but the thing is, i dont really feel the need to tell her how i feel!! im just really confused right now, and im just in that akward stage of life of trying to figure out who i am. i also posted on here as a place to just tell my story. i really wanted to tell all this to someone and im very grateful that there are so many people out there willing to listen. i really feel like i love Ally, but maybe not in a lesbian way, but some other way. i was wanting to know if anyone picked up on that!!

hey girlies – I’m back and I’m telling you DONT DO IT !

I just had the most terrible falling out with my best friend because I told her I was in love with her and she said the most incredibly horrible things ever !

I realise now my love was too good for her and so I dust myself down and she can do her own taxi service, cooking, helping her out immensely shit

Just learned my lesson and now I will just enjoy living my life ! And move on – see i think i let her obscure my vision from everything else and now i feel like i can see clearly and better and know when there are so many others interested in me without any more game playing.

Isn’t it better sticking to reality and living for now rather than loving for later ? After all its her loss if she passes you by and why put yourself through so much torture – she either wants to get involved or she doesnt and if she doesnt move on – after all isnt this the advice you would be giving her if she were you and you were having a heart to heart ?? You would surely tell her to believe in herself and make it positive

SO MAKE IT POSITIVE FOR YOURSELF – and LIVE LIFE , find someone who loves you back xxxxx

Same with me… but my best frnd had this childhood frnd who kind of introduced the both of us… and i found out that she thinks she’s in love with my best frnd too… my best frnd tells me she loves me (as a bst frnd) but she says that the other girl is importnt too… the other girl sends her lovey dovey txts and tells her how she’d made a huge mistake by introducing her to me… and it hurts me to see that… cz i have a feelin that my bst frnd wud hav fallen fr the girl if she hadnt knwn me… and also cz i cnt imagine living without her and i know i cant compete with the other girl, can someone please try to help me?

my best girl friend confessed my feelings for me. I was shocked at first but i told her i was sorry we dint share the same feelings. she understood and we are trying for are friendship relationship to work still. so dont be afraid to tell your friend afterall she is your friend

I have this issue too, I guess it’s common ha. We have been bestfriends since 6th grade and now we’re seniors. Hopefully I can tell her soon because this might be my last chance. It wasn’t until 8th grade until I thought about her this way. Maybe it was because she got sick that year and I took after her. Threw high school we have flirted like crazy. She enjoys pinching or slapping my ass while walking in the hallways. People ask if we’re dating and I turn red and she says no. On a band trip I was laying under the covers and she crawled from the bottom of them where my feet were to my chest and laid her head there. Some of my friends know I like her. But does she like me?

I know this sounds horrible, but I would try seducing her…..playfully and subtly. The trick is to keep it lighthearted. Even if she feels the same for you she might get scared at the idea of love. There are ways of getting a woman’s attention without openly saying it. Plus, just because she identifies as straight does not mean she has never felt an attraction towards another woman. Social restrictions can make many women feel they have to conform in order to be loved/accepted. Therefore, if she likes both genders but has a preference for men, she may not have ever felt the need to state her other preference. Sexuality is so fluid (especially for women) that there’s really no telling what may happen from one year to the next. I wish you all the best of luck. I’m off to pursue a straight friend!

So i have no idea what to do, I think I’m bi or just bi curious because this is the only girl I have ever felt this way for. She’s amazing, but at our HS if your gay or bi your life is hell. And the problem is, she and I are best friends. I’ve known her for 2 years and told her I thought I was bi and she was fine with it and told me she would accept me no matter what. But I don’t know if I should tell her that SHE is the one I’m bi for. Just her. I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I think she should know. Help??

Hi, I’m 17 and I’ve had feelings for my best friend who I’ve known since September, I’m a girl and she is also a girl. Fairly recently I found out that she asked for advice from an advice because she thinks she see’s me in a romantic way but doesn’t want to wreck our friendship.
This is what she wrote:
“Im 17 and i think im bicurious? and my friend might be? ive known her since september and more recently than not i just get this feeling she could fancy me
but the more i think about her and whatever the more i think i like her in a romantic way or whatever? i dont know how to tell if shes just being a best friend or there are sexual underlying to it?”
(This was now written over two months ago.)

She wasn’t initially aware that I would be able to see that she sent this, however I did tell her that I’d seen it and since I told her we’ve still be acting normal. A lot of the things that she says and does do make me feel like she does like me in a romantic way: for example, she always says i love you, she hugs me a lot and she generally looks after me. Today she asked me who I wanted to kiss over facebook chat, (and obviously I want to kiss her) and initially I wouldn’t tell her at all but she kept trying to get it out of me, so I typed: it’s you! in a “secret” code: (34.18.47.39.36.28) . She then surprisingly figured out what it said :/
I’m going to see her in school tomorrow and I don’t know how to act around her, because she knows that I like her and I’m not sure if she likes me back or not. Although she does show a lot of signs of liking me but these signs can get easily confused because she might just be acting like my best friend. The other day we were both sat next to each other in the sixth form centre and I had my legs crossed on the sofa. She then picked up one of my legs and put it across her, more than what a best friend would do in my opinion. Also she got a bit angry when i kissed a boy in our year on a drunken night out and she was very protective of me the whole night to make sure no one took advantage of me. I really just need to know how I should act around her?, whether I should come completely clean about how I feel? and what’s the next step if I do? She knows that I like her…should I ask her if she feels the same way, or just presume she does by the way she acts around me? do you personally think she shows signs of liking me?

I know exactly wat u mean… my best friend does things like that too… she hugs me, a lot… and kisses my hand and rubs her nose against my face… one night, we were together on the balcony and she rubbed her nose against my lips and just brushed her lips against mine… we never talked about it… She knows i love her… and she says she loves me too, but doesn’t mention if its just as a friend… she says she feels jealous when people get close to me.. she said once she thought someone had a crush on me and she wanted to kill that person… she hates all the celebrities i have a crush on…

But i don’t know if she really love loves me… if u know wat i mean… are those signs that she does? please help me understand, our school year almost ends this friday… i need to know…

I know how all of you girls feel. I have a HUGE crush on my bestfriend, she knows that im bi and she accepts that, she also knows that i love her and that i would hurt anyone that would harm her. I think she likes me back, she calls me at random times at night just to say good night and sweet dreams, she would say she loves me but doesnt mention if just as a friend. I asked her out but told her to reject me because i knew she was straight, it took her 4 days to get back to me, her answer was no.. I asked her why she took a long time just to say that.. She answered : i had to think about it, if i would like it or not, but i like this guy called (not saying) and i love him soo much. i felt like a dick then. But i have this feeling that she is bi and she does like me back but isnt telling me.

One day i was with my group, we were walking and just talking about guys ( they all know that im bi ) then she comes up to me and wants to talk to me privatly.. She was holding my hand and she didnt let go, she asked me really random questions.. She wanted to know me, she had beautiful eyes, but i didnt look at them because i knew it would be awkward..

Whenever she sees me she runs and hugs me and squeezes me soo tight, we have awkward eye contact.. She always wants to hold hands with me but since the whole school knows about me being bi i told her i didnt want to, i regret saying no.. I wish she would kiss me and tell me she feels the same way too, but i know that`ll never happen. Lucky for you girls in America, you have more chance, here in NZ no way..

Do you think she likes me back ?

i am in a similar position i have known this girl for nearly 3 years im 15. she is my bff. we have so much in common and she is so pretty. we are both bisexual but we both prefer guys.i truly love her, from the moment i layed eyes on her i knew she was the one. we are always flirting with each other and feeling each other up. but everytime we do she laughs she takes it as a joke but i dont i cherish every touch. neither of us have ever dated a guy but i have kissed one. when i did she seemed jealous but i think thats becuz she hasnt. i dont know what to do becuz waiting for her is very painful especially becuz i dont think she will ever look at me the way i look at her (i am always staring at her in school) please help!!!

Ever sense I met her I was best friends with her. She was amazing. WE started hanging out a bunch through our mutual best friend and got really close. We started hugging a lot at school and sitting close to each other and a bunch of people started a rumor that we were secretly a couple. Your an outcast at my High School if your bi or gay or nything and so I sorta flipped shit when this happened. I didn’t even realize that’s how it seemed… After this we got in a fight about this because I started not even wanting to touch her or hug at all and I really distanced myself. It was hell and she got really pissed but we made up ad things got better.
After this I started wondering if maybe I did actually have those feelings for her. I still haven’t figured out if I’m really bi for her or just bi-curious. The past few months have been crazy and really emotional for me, I had started cutting and my grades were slipping. I decided tell our mutual best friend and seek some advice. Things got a lot better. Our mutual best friend (lets call her X ) thinks I should keep these feelings to myself because if I told (lets call her Y) then to many bad things could happen and we might not all be friends again. Since mine and Y’s fight, things have gotten a lot better and we have gotten close again, though she still isn’t the same as she was before the fight, which I actually really miss, we hug a lot again and she falls asleep on my shoulder on long bus and car rides sometimes and has put her head in my lap and let me stroke her hair and hold her. I told her I was possibly bi or bi curious and she said it was ok but wanted to know who it was for. I told her it was only one person but I didn’t want to say and she hasn’t pushed or brought up the topic sense then.
I don’t know if I should tell her or not.. Advice?

Dear confuzed,
if she is also bi, how do you know it could never happen? Maybe try asking if she could ever have a serious relationship with you or another girl depending on if she has had a girlfriend before.
Best wishes xoxo

I think you should tell her the truth! I am in the same situation as you, and I am pretty stuck.I just moved to the town where I currently live and, i have only known this girl for a couple of weeks…but i have to tell her! Besides you never know she could feel the same way!!:) Good Luck!

I thought I was the only one going thru this I just wanted to say thank you ladies for sharing I’m 32 I fell in love in my teens with a beautiful intelligent woman. I didnt have it easy growing up and she was there for me, now after reading all of the comments I realize that I really dont know her at all now. I dreamt about her last night I going thru some stuff and it was hard for me to go to sleep and there she was in my dream she said she missed me too and she has been thinking about me, weird huh! I know it’s just my mind trying to get a grip but I must say I slept like a baby after that. I am a lesbian but only for her. My friends say that I need to move on meet other people so that’s is what I’m doing I’ve recently just gone back to the center in ny and reacquainted myself with a couple of old friends, I feel confused but I now know that I just have to move on, if I could choose in a perfect world we would have moved in together and had 2 kids already and a dog and all that but I know that is not possible on top of everything else our families are deeply christian and I havent come out to my family or church because I dont want to lose them. I dont even know how she feels I try to bring it up but she doesn’t say anything or when she did she just said we were kids and that’s it. I dont think I could love anyone as much as I love her she completes me in a way that I haven’t found anyone else could and I have dated a few others but I have never felt the way I feel about her. I tried the hetero thing and that was a disaster! I called her but she does the same thing she always does let the answer machine pick up and then just listens without saying a word which used to infuriate me but now I’m used to it, so every couple of years I’d call give her an update and then she’d listen and then I’d usually feel like crap try to forget her and then I’d call in another couple of years and so on. I secretly wished that I had the courage that some of youladies had and told her in my teens so that I would have emotionally moved on or at least we could have talked about it. thanks for reading
s.b.

Yeah, I admit to having feelings for my childhood friend. I’ve always liked her as a child. We eventually grew into teens, and one day all of a sudden, she let out an angry rage against lesbians, and it made me upset. A couple weeks later, she told me that she couldn’t eat or sleep after that.

Our friendship started to grow apart long after. It was then that I realized my feelings for her were real and I started to make moves on her. I publicly hugged her and held hands with her while walking in front of our friends, and surprisingly she wasn’t disgusted and didn’t protest. However, she did give me signs that she was straight. She pointed to a couple guys as we were holding hands and walking and told me that she liked guys like that. So I backed off. I didn’t actually tell her that I liked her, I just showed that I did through actions. She only liked me as a friend (now acquaintance), and I’m fine with it now.

Recently, I came over her house, and we laughed and joked around again as old friends. We’re both older now, like around our 20′s. She even tickled and poked me in the stomach, and set her foot comfortably on the chair I was sitting in. She even suggested making out in a joking manner, which set off my love radar again. But I eventually let it go when I saw her with her boyfriend a week later. I’m not gonna lie and say that it doesn’t hurt to see them together, that me and her don’t have chemistry when we’re together, but there’s plenty more wonderful girls out there.

I think I’m fully over her, and I don’t talk to her as much anymore. Plus, I keep telling myself that if I truly love her, I’ll just let her go. It’s the only way. As long as she’s happy and in love, then it’s fine. Even if it’s not with me and it’s with someone that I don’t approve of or like. I’ll just let everything go, and live life the way it’s supposed to be. I’ll still be nice to her and love her, but only as a friend. There’s more girls out there to admire.

My only regret was not telling her I liked her. But it’s okay. My signs of affection were enough. She’ll always remain in my heart as my childhood crush. Even if she is a straight girl.

<3

dear guest girl,
i have tried asking her about serious realationships but she doesnt seem that interested, i don’t think she likes me like i her because we have started drifting apart. i dont know how but within a week we have actually started seperating. today we walked home from school together and we hardly talked and if we did it was nothing usual it was about school or something like that.she has never had a gf r bf. we both hav the same friends and there is only 6 of us. (the rest of our friends are straight. they r as straight as u can get, 2 of them r actually homophobes not helpful .) but if it did get akward between her and i it wud b weird with a group of friends who dont really have any other friends.

confuzed
Ive been in your position before. If you dont wanna loose her you need to hurry and make that obvious our youll loose her forever things will never be the same.. Tell her that no matter how you feel your friendship with her matters the most and you would do anything to save that

Good news, based off of what I read on here I decided to tell her. Turns out she already was pretty sure I was bi for her since the summer. The whole conversation turned into a “wait…really?” So she was ok with it and though she is very straight, says that everything is fine.
To everyone else on here, only you know your friend and can make the best decision on how or when to tell them if you even think you can tell them. But I feel so much better now that I told her. All my cards are on the table and we can be like best friends should be, completely open with each other

I loved my best friend for years. She’s really adorable and silly and was always there for me. I was afraid of my feelings for the same reason as a lot of you, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It was always in the back of my mind though, she would hold my hand and kiss my cheek and give the best hugs and snuggles, all on a terribly platonic level, but it was nice all the same. Finally I got the balls to talk to her about it late one night at her house. I asked her if she had ever been curious about bi-sexuality and one thing led to another and we started making out. It was wonderful. After about fifteen minutes though, she pulled away and said, “Well at least I know for sure I don’t like girls now!” I just laughed and agreed with her. I didn’t want to ruin anything by pushing it, so I just left it at that. We were still great friends for months after that and even though it hurt to know she didn’t want me like that it was better than not knowing at all.
So I guess the moral of that story is to be open with your feelings. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt. be afraid of never knowing.

I posted on the 17th of March this year on this page, and i’ve come back to tell you that im finding a way out of it. Being in love with my best friend was the best and then worst thing that ever happened to me, and it’s the worst for us lot to fall for someone straight especially i know. but it got to the point when it hurt so much i realised it just wasn’t worth it anymore. She was so affectionate with me, and i geuss it led me on. She also looked after me because i was her best friend so i felt i needed her all the time. But the truth is i didn’t, now that i’ve tried to move on from her now and gone the seperate way (trust me, it was not easy) I realise how love blind i was, and that she was so straight and i had a next to nothing chance. It’s hard to admit that to yourself but unless she’s into girls then it’s proberbly true. I decided not to tell her about my feelings as i felt it would only make it more awkward, and i would proberbly try and hide away from her in embarrasment. SO i told her something along the lines of “Our friendsip meant alot to me and now that were drifting i find it so hard. but i geuss i had to move on..” and thats in short. but what she said to me was that our friendship did mean alot to her, and that she’ll never forget me. and i learned to respect that… life is unfair, but i look back on all the good times and laughs she gave me and i’ll always tresure them. I know how hard it is, but now i understand that if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. and it let me focus on my other friends who were much more loyal to me after all, and just began to have a good time – without her. It’s a long process but you will get there in the end and feel free. You just need to see the light, if it’s not working, if it’s not good for yourself, then do you really want to put yourself through a broken heart like i did? There’s someone better out there, for all of us. Trust me when i say.. it does get better.

I think I am falling for my best friend. We haven’t known eachother long, but clicked instantly. I’m gay, she’s straight. We talk about anything and everything, go everywhere together and see eachother almost everyday! We’ve kissed in gay bars, partly because my ex, (been single for 6 months now) was in there and was making a massive fuss around me, so we did it to make her jealous, (I admit, not the most mature of my moments). The truth is I actually didn’t feel a thing when I kissed her. No tingle, no need to go further with it, nothing. Then I met up with someone I met, we had an amazing weekend toegther, and then she dropped me like a lead balloon! I was pretty gutted and my friend has been there for me to reassure me that it wasn’t me she was just after one thing! Then her boyfriend (of 2 weeks) did the same to her and the roles have been reversed. To cheer her up we went out, had a few too many, danced together, got mistaken for a couple 3 times, (this happens alot more recently), and then somehow ended up kissing briefly before pulling away and laughing at eachother and asking what happened. she stayed the night at my house and nothing happened. She’s been home with me to my parents, we sleep next to each other, hug, kiss on the cheek, call eachother on lunch breaks, I go to her work when she asks me to call in etc etc. In a way, it’s like we are in a relationship but just don’t have sex.
She talks about her ex, (who is an idiot anyway) all the time, and is really heartbroken… and tonight wants to go to the pub where he might be in the event we could bump into him. Trouble is, I am really mad at him for hurting her, and am afraid I won’t bite my tongue if i see him. I’m also afraid that if they hook up again, I will be angry and will have to pick up the pieces again like the last time. Anyway, after typing my life story, my issue is that we tell eachother we love eachother, and flirt, and spend all the time in the world together and I think that I am beginning to fall for her and I really don’t want to. She has previously told me that she could never imagine herself going with a woman! So I know this makes my situation worse. Am I in love with her? or am I just protective of her? Every guy she seems to go for I disaprove (openly to her) because they are never good enough for her. What’s going on?? Please Help! x

i have the same issue what do i do tell her or not cause she had a phase of being gay so should i tell her i like her or not?

Rach-what she said about “she could never imagine herself going with a woman” doesn’t mean anything; it’s a hypothetical statement and she could have just said it as a defense mechanism. You’ve kissed a lot and been mistaken for a couple a lot…clearly you have a bond and she doesn’t mind at least dancing around the edges of something bigger. Take her back to the gay bar and joke with her about who she finds attractive (don’t let her say “no one”, she has eyes, she can have an opinion without jumping on the girl) and then when she says someone who isn’t you, jokingly say that you’re hurt and you think she’s the hottest girl in there. If you kiss again, tease her about it being lame and insist on some tongue. (Even if she doesn’t give it to you, this will get her associating you with sex.) Talk dirty to her, but keep it in teasing way (“Well if you want someone to treat that sexy body of yours right, just let me know” and wink or shoot her the tongue or whatever.)

Later, when you’re at your place, keep up the teasing flirting (grab her butt or her boobs) and see how far she’s willing to play along. She might surprise you. Plus if you ever get serious at some point you can be like “maybe we should be together…i mean nothing else is working, maybe the universe is trying to tell us something, lol” If you establish that your lust for her is part of your friendship (which I think she almost knows already) you can make a move and even if she balks you can be ‘well can’t blame a girl for trying, lol!”

Also if when you sleep together you aren’t wearing sexy undies or sleeping nude, start that. If she say “wtf” just say “I feel better this way. Why, do I make you horny, baby? [The last bit in the Austin Powers voice]“; she’ll probably laugh and say no, but you planted the seed. (With luck you’ll both be naked soon, and then?)

Just keep subtly hitting three points: you love her, you think she’s beautiful, and you two probably would have a great time together. Don’t be all “you’re my soulmate and i would DIE without you”…you’re still the great friend she loves, you’re just bringing the sexuality that’s already in your rs to the foreground. Good luck!!

Beth-Idk what you mean by “a phase of being gay”. If she’s talked about being attracted to girls with you, then bring the subject up and tell her you can’t stop thinking about girls, either. And be like “and you’re not helping, cuz you’re really hot!” Again don’t be all “I love you MARRY ME RIGHT NOW!” cuz that makes people get scared, but let her know you think she’s hot *within the context of your friendship*. Then if she doesn’t go all freaky (and she shouldn’t) you can look for an opening to kiss her…just gentle and soft at first, but maybe she lets it go further.

Good luck to you, too!

As everyone else has said, I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’m in 8th grade, I have been bisexual since 7th, and I recently accepted that I’m a lesbian. No one knows this. I live in a area were there’s not many gays, and people look down on people like us.
Anyways,my mom thinks I am “Attracted to girls” But never imagined being with them or anything. She’s threatened to send me to a foster home if it gets worse.
I actually do have feelings for this one girl though.I became friends with her at the beginning of this school year,and honestly, she’s my best friend. I tell her almost everything, except for the fact that I love her, of course.
I have dreams about her all the time. I imagine kissing her and it gives me an amazing feeling.
Her and my other friend spent the night last night. Me and her slept on my bed, while my other friend slept on the floor. I kept wishing she would lean over and kiss me, and tell me her feelings for me. I cuddled close to her back all night, she didn’t seem to mind it, even though I think she’s straight.
Me and my other friends do the marraige thing on Facebook. I’m married to her on there. Most of my friends don’t do it anymore, but me and her still do. She also seems to flirt at times. When I do something competly idiotic she’ll usually say “Well that’s cute.” Or if I get paint on my face in art class, she’ll say “That’s attractive.” I don’t know if she’s joking or not.
Also, yesterday when her and my other friend were over, we were all hanging out in the basement dancing around with my disco light in the dark, y’know, acting like idiot 8th graders do. Well, me and her sat down on the couch, while my other friend went upstairs. When I went to sit down, I accidently purposely (if that makes sense.) leaned towards her when I sat.

I was so suprised, I don’t know if my mind is playing games with me or what, but she wrapped her arms around me. I rubbed her cheek, and went “Hey babehh.” In a gay voice, and she giggled. Then my other friend came back downstairs and she moved away a little bit.

I need help. I don’t know what to think, or how to come about this situation. I’m so scared to have fallen in love with her, mostly because of my parents and the neighborhood. Please help.

I forgot to add in, I get jealous easily. She always talks about this guy she likes and it makes me think she is straight, which she probably is. I always worry that she’ll get a guy, then I’ll get jealous and go crazy on her.

I also fall for my friend. Well, we weren’t really best friends until recently. I graduated from university and I went back to my hometown while she worked in a big city. We realized that we shared common interests and we talk about it a lot in emails, SMS and via chat. I didn’t know when did I started fallen for her, but I just did. I get jealous easily when she told me she went out with our mutual friends and was having a good time. The truth is, I hope I can be by her side too.

We used to talk about gays and homosexuality and she doesn’t seems to be a homophobic. She said its wrong because its against the human nature, but she also said love is unpredictable. And if one falls in love with a person of the same gender, there’s nothing we could do about it. So, I guess she’s open about that.

I realized that I have completely fallen for her. The feeling is deep and sometimes its hurting me. I want to tell her that I love her but I’m scared of what she’ll think about me. I’m afraid she will distance herself and not feeling comfortable with me.

I showed my feelings (hint – although I never tell her I love her) in our correspondence and she showed that she cared about me too. I figure out if she’s not comfortable with my attention, she would just stop texting me or let her chat on (she told me she only chatted with me and no one else). I guess she must have waited for me to be online too. And sometimes, she would text me over small things which we usually do with our special girlfriend/boyfriend.

So, does that mean something?

I don’t know whether I’m a homo or bi. I used to like a guy for 5 years and I know I’m in love with him. But now, I just can’t stop thinking about my friend. I even fantasizing us kissing sometimes.

I really want to tell her, but HOW?

By the way, I wrote every piece of my feelings in my blog here:
http://confusedvictorique.blogspot.com/

Feel free to visit.

Hi soo um im straight but like i think my best friend is in love with me. She doesn’t know that i know she’s a lesbian cuz her mom accidently let it slip in front of me but like recently if i talk to anyone else she gets super jealous and like she’s getting super handsy and like her txts r starting to make me a little bit uncomfortable and shes started getting rly upset over like little things like if i dont txt her or when i go to parties she interogates me about what happened. This girl is one of my best friends in the whole wide world she’s like my sister i love her to death honestly she’s like my other half but im rly straight and i dont have those kinds of feelings for her what should i do? And just btw as someone who is on the otherside of this friendship i would rly prefer to have her tell me and be honest cuz then we could continue being friends where as the way my friend is doing it is kinda starting to affect our friendship negatively

To Vicky and Confused

I really think that you should take in, and think about what FRAB said. Telling your friend you have feelings for her, is truly the best option. When I was in the 8th grade, I fell in love with my best friend. We had a great friendship until, a lot like FRAB’s friend, I started to get weird. I called her nonstop, texted her, discouraged her from hanging out with other people, talking with guys, and guess what happened? I lost her as a friend. Remember that friendship, or any relationship, is built on trust. Now I know telling your friend you have feelings for her may be scary. So start off small! If she doesn’t know that you’re a lesbian, bi, whatever, TELL HER! Have a talk, and explain how you feel sexually. We’re women, so it’s okay to talk about those things, and you’re friends which makes it even easier. You may even surprised at where the conversation leads when you take the iniciative to be honest. Sexuality isn’t black and white, and love can be very gray, so it’s important to prepair yourself to take on a little heartbreak. Your friend may be straight, but there is also the possibility that she is questioning how she feels too. SO TALK ABOUT IT.

To FRAB

Same deal applies. If this girl is really important to you, sit her down and ask her point blank. Tell her that you are her friend, and that she can feel safe talking to you. Assure her that you won’t judge her, and let her know that you would like to remain friends. Once she has opened up to you, talk about how she has been acting, and how you feel it is upseting your friendship. Be honest, and she will too. But also be prepaired to put your friendship on halt, if she is upset that you don’t have the same feelings for her. Be understanding that it may be hard for her to remain friends with someone that she loves, and can’t have. More than likely, she will move on after some time, and you can still be friends. (:

And just as an example that talking really can lead to goodness, I recently told my “Straight” best friend that I had feelings for her. And guess what? She told me that she felt the same way. Now we are in a relationship, and it is going very well. All because I talked it out. Good luck to you all!

Oh I forgot

To Confused

I get the whole parent, and area thing. I lived in a very conservative area for years, and not to mention have very conservitive parents. I’ll say right now that it isn’t easy dealing with those things, but you have to remember that your life is what you make it. You have four more years of school before you can go to college, and college can be a blessing for your situation. My advice is to realize that when your older, you can potentially live in an area that is gay friendly, and lets you live your life style without much judgement. As for the parent thing, it’s tough. My mom is not gay friendly in the slightest, so when I told her, she well, freaked out. She cried, and prayed, and cried, and was in basically in denial. The thing about parents, or most of them anyways, is that they love you, and want you to be happy. It’s hard for them, so give it time. They will come around, and if they don’t, you shouldn’t live by their rules.

I’ve known this girl since second grade but all we did was just pass by each other.In 6th grade we were finally in a class together. In 6th grade we were cool but not acutal friends.In 7th grade we had the same friends but not same class but we had to hang out with each other sometimes.Were now in 8th grade and i dont know what happened?!?!? ive only had a feelings on a girl twice and they went away fast.Before 8th grade started i was in a good relationship with a guy.then school started and after a few days.BOOM!i had feelings for her. i broke up with my bf because i felt weird and confused so i ended it.i treat her different and she treats me different from all the other friends we have but im the one that is always wit her when shes alone.Even though i pretend and play around and say i dont like her and we both laugh cuz we dont mean it.these feelings are getting bigger and bigger.in high school im gonna be hopeless without her. i wanna tell how i truly feel. she acts gay a lot but all she can talk about is guys and their bodies.shes kissed me on the cheek and my other friends too.i wanna tell her how i feel but im scared shes gonna act immature and tell everyone in school. she had a lesbian like her before and she avoided her at all costs. i dont know what to do i wanna tell her but i dont know.

I really like one of my friends and my best friend has been trying to figure out who and ive beem trying to tell her who i like. I really like the person i like and i have dream after dream after dream of her every night and on friday i cant wait till monday again just to see her. I was hoping it was just a little crush at first but now i almost love her. She has a friend shes always hanging with and i dont really like her hanging around cause i feel like she takes her from me. One of my other friends has the person i like on my basketball team and when my friend told who was on her team i had a melt down.i dont know what to do i sorta watch the person at recess and i think shes seen me look at her alot of times.i dont know what to do.

I’d always thought I was straight but after a few months of meeting this girl in high school we became really close friends. After a while I couldnt get her off my mind and I started to go out with a boy who I hate to say was just because I needed to take my mind off her. After I fell in love with her, at a sleepover I kissed her. It wad her first kiss too which made it even more special. I tried getting her off my mind but then she started to go out with another girl that definitely wasn’t right for her but she seemed happy so I dealt with the heartbreak. It wasn’t easy but I stayed strong until she was dumped after five months. I didn’t know what to feel so I just stayed good friends with her which is when I told her I liked her. After a few times making out and stuff I told her (over facebook) that I loved her and she said that she felt the same. After a month I couldn’t bear it anymore. I asked her out and we’ve been going strong for a few months now. She’s the most amazing girl and I’m telling you guys to not keep it inside, you might just get lucky. And if not, tell her how you feel and if rejected, just know that so many people are in your situation and you are not alone. Xx

wow, everybodiws situations have made me wanna tell my situation. so i met ths girl during my sophmore yr of high school(last year) she was a freshman and we meet at softball tryout and instantly became bestfriends. we shared secrets with each other, hungout with veryday, sleepovers, meet each others friends and family.you know like close bff stuff. she evn told me bout her lesbian experiences. i didnt mind bcus im bi, which i told her. we became really close evn joking flirt w/ each other, call each other beautifil or sexxy, we would evn joke tht we were in an abusive relationship(only bcus we liked pickin on each other). strangely after practice one day she said she wanted to tell me something, but changed her mind bcus she didntwant to ruin our friendship. this really got to me bcus i still to this say have no idea wht she was gonna say. thn summer came, it started off ok, but thn we had a few fights our friendship was off n on. my family hates her cus of this. they didnt like me hangin out with her but i did anyways. school began again n we were friends again, until she suspected me of likin one of my best friends, which she was right about but instead of admitting it i paniced and said i had feelings cor her instead. she didnt talk to me for a week until she she decided tht she wanted to remain friends. i was satisfied with tht, but 2 weeks later we were txtin n she said im better off w/o her. she ended the friendship. i was upset n tryed toget her talk to me but she wont. i see her everyday at school but we havent spoken in months n she doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. now im finding out thatshe doesnt wanna be my friend bcus she thinks im in love wih her. which is wht she tells everybody, quite frankly im sick of the rumor, its a lie. if i could just talk to her and explain the truth, but she doesnt want to talk to me because she thinks i wont understand, that i will want us to be friends again. idk what to do. any advice

im going throu the same thing as everyone else! i seriously love my best friend. we have only known each other for a year nd at first we didnt really hang out but by the summer of 8th grade we started hangin out all the time. shes a real flirt nd doesnt know when to stop. i started havinng feelings for her when she opened up to me started showing me who she was nd i showed her who i was. i like her for her personality her respect shes sweet respectful nice her smile lol her smile nd her laugh nd just everything bout her is perfect.in august me nd her kissed not a small peck on the lips it was a full blown make out. we werent drunk we were sober. at first i just told her i wanted to kiss her nd like her she sarted flrting alot with me. she said i have sexy lips nd all this stuff. i enjoyed every minute of kissing her. while we were kissing i was rubbing her legs nd she would moan nd yeah. i stopped after that because i didnt want our friendship to go anymore off track then it was. i liked her alot more after.

A lot has changed sense I decided to tell my best friend I had feelings for her, at first everything was great. Then things started down hill fast. We aren’t friends anymore after she told me she was just really uncomfortable with me now and needed time and space.

Please help, I want to repair our friendship but I think it’s gone to far

Summer, this is total speculation but… I wonder if it would help to tell your friend about some different girl you have a crush on, so she would feel like she’s not the only target of your affections, or even like you’ve moved on? Even if you have to exaggerate it a little bit… you must be able to come up with someone else you can at least claim to be interested in, right?

Summer, I think JadeCath is right. If she feels uncomfortable with you, maybe you should slow down so she wouldn’t feel like you are putting a lot of pressure on her – maybe you shouldn’t let your friendship now turn around the same topic. Take a little time off and see if she can get over it. And don’t worry. I’m sure she will

I have the same problem, I wanna tell her so bad, I’m only in 6:th and I’ve known het for 2 years! I can’t lose her but I love her so much that 1 time I remade a picture of her whitout even noticeing. If I’d lose her as a friend I’d KILL myself! She has given me signals: she never talks about guys near me, she is always in someway making me smile and she flirts whit me all the time!

Thanks I think I might try that. I just need to give her time and space maybe as well..

i feel the same way… life is hard that way. I think it rlly depends on the person. Some people are fine with it, and some can freak out. If she si really your friend, then she sould be able to deal with it. However, u need to know how to deal with the problems tht telling her might cause. Good Luck!

I have a friend I am attracted to. I don’t think of her as my ‘best friend’, but we probably qualify as such anyway, and I find it all very conusing: I’m bisexual, which I haven’t outright stated to her, and she is rather touchy-feely, for want of a better word. She constantly hugs me when she sees me in school(she is a junior; I am a sophomore), for example, or pick me up and carry me around, or sits me on her lap. We swim varsity for our school team together, so we see each other outside of school a lot too–generally, she can be prickly and intimidating, but with me, she’s even said herself, she can’t be angry or irritated. Occasionally, she’ll get flirty too–think gratuitous hearts and while texting, along with messages along the lines of ‘you know me so well, you understand me’, and multiple hugs in person. She’s told me she loves me, too, although I’ve counted it as strictly platonic: I’m fairly certain she’s straight, although she’s definitely gotten more huggy in the last two weeks or so. I’ve been debating telling her how I feel, that there’s some odd mashup of ‘potential girlfriend’ and ‘best friend’ and ‘big sister I never had’ going on in my head, just so she knows, or maybe dropping it into casual conversation, like ‘hey, if I dated girls(I haven’t come out yet), I’d definitely date you’, or something of that nature. It’s not a question of IF I’ll tell her, really, because I intend to before she graduates next year. It’s really just a question of when. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also just really want to know where she stands on how I feel about her. I’ve liked her for two years now, and it’s starting to get harder. Any advice or input is appreciated.

This post is so old, but i’ll comment anyway
i’m in love with my best friend too, to cut a very long story short, talk to your best friend. or you could just drop hints like i did but that was a drawn out process which took ages. just talk to her. me and best friend hadn’t even kissed before last night, but we spoke about how we felt, we both feel the same way, and we had the bestest sex ever.

To all those people that think difference in age matters: it doesn’t! To those who think girls, especially lesbians tend to mistake friendship for love, that’s stupidly stereotypical, because straight guys and girls do the EXACT SAME THING. But you never know until you try. Don’t tell someone they don’t have a chance, because real love doesn’t stop to think, it acts whenever it feels like it.

To all the people who don’t know if they should tell their best friends: please do. The what if’s are sooo much more painful, and a sure way to get hurt NOT telling her and having her fall in love with someone else. So tell before time runs out! Love doesn’t have patience…

I, myself told my best friend how i felt and we had about the most dysfunctional relationship in history! It’s been 9 months since we last broke up and I’m finally over her. Despite everything she put me through and vice versa, I would never take back the experience for anything. Just the other day i thanked her for showing me when to drop someone because they’re not worth it, how to tell a liar from a lover, and a bunch of other things… And i meant it sincerely lol she was so mad!!

The point is, no matter what happens, it’ll make you stronger for whatever you do with the future knowledge. Don’t miss out on life, or what could be the One because you’re too scared. Take a chance! Be bold, be brave and courageous! You’ll never find real love otherwise

I do hope you all will be able to tell that special someone and that you’ll be okay with whatever answer you receive.

Good luck

I have like, the SAME! Problem! Ish, maybe a little different xD 

I’m in tenth grade, 15 years old
In ninth grade, she was the first highschool friend I had, we became best friends almost, too fast, but I’m glad we’re so close
Before I met her, I would always practically be a loner all day
So it feels like she saved me from always being alone
It’s only been a year, yes, I know, but it didn’t take long for me to fall completely in love with her

She’s so important to me, she is the whole entire universe to me
Nothing makes me more happy then seeing her face, or hearing her voice
Her text messages are literally the ONLY text messages I keep on my phone
Nothing makes me more upset then seeing her upset
And nothing makes me more mad then seeing other people be rude to her
I’m absolutely head over heels for her
I love being alone with her do it’s just the two of us
I love to walk with her, talk to her, I love her hugs
She is beautiful, and I admire her so much 

Each day I always look forward to one thing, seeing her

None of my friends know I’m lesbian
So nobody knows that I have a huge crush on her
I would love to tell her
But I’m scared that it might ruin our friendship
I don’t want anything to change between us
I want to be close friends with her
And telling her might make things forever awkw

Any advice on what to do??? 

Brittany, your story is almost the exact same as mine! I’m in 10th grade and I friended a girl at the beginning of of 9th grade because she didn’t have many other friends. Her personality started to come out more and more the longer we hung out and now she has tons of friends. If you want to take the time to go back and read my posts from before this I think they might help you. To sum it up, when I first noticed my friendship feelings turning into romanic feelings I was terrified. I came to terms with the fact that I was bi and I told her. She was very supportive and told me that she loved me as a friend no matter what. Yeah it was totally a little awkward for a few days after that and we didn’t have as much physical contact (like hugging or leaning on each others shoulder or anything like that) but we still talked and hung out just like we always had. I decided that I couldn’t hold it in any longer and came out that I was bi for her and was surprised that she had actually suspected it was for her from the very beginning. Up until about a month ago our friendship was very very rocky. We hung out because of mutual friends but we hardly talked about anything outside of school. I was a wreck, I thought that we might never get back to being great friends. Thankfully with all the time that has past and the fact that we are always hanging with our mutual friends, our friendship is almost back to where it all started a year ago, when we talked all the time and weren’t afraid to sit or lean on each other. I couldn’t be more thrilled!
I hope my little story just helped a little bit lol the moral is, you need to really look at your friendship. Some people would no be able to handle it if they heard that you were not only lesbian, but you were lesbian for them. Try coming out to her first if you are absolutely sure that your friendship can take the stress. Having a mutual group of friends to hang out with really helps make things less awkward after you come out to her. Wait about a month and see if things get back to normal before deciding to tell her that you’ve fallen for her or not. Don’t get your hopes up though.
Best of luck to you fellow high schooler!!

I feel awkward doing this, but I guess sometimes things come out better to total strangers. I met my friend about 3 years ago; I was a sophomore in high school and she was a freshman. I had to give her a tour of the school. I didn’t dislike her or anything, but she didn’t come off as someone I’d hang out with. She was beautiful though, no doubt. But there’s a lot of beauty in the world so it was whatever. We saw each other around sometimes and said hi or smiled but for the most part we didn’t really acknowledge each other for the next couple years. Last year, I was a senior and she happened to be in my trig class. We were just acquaintances, but I was starting to come to terms with myself and I was low-key attracted to her. Purely because of her looks (no feelings). One night I was at the mall and I saw her. She worked at an eyebrow place and it was slow. She tried to get me to come in, saying she’d hook me up but I politely declined. The next day, she sat next to me in class and we started small-talking. She was actually an interesting person! Lol we got sort of close. Not bestfriend status but we talked enough to be called friends. I started to like her. I didn’t want to because I was still in the process of “trying to be straight” (dumb I know but my parents are old school). She was taken anyway and as far as I knew, she had a healthy stable relationship with someone she loved. So, I was content to admire from afar. Somewhere along the way I started to go out of my way to do things for her, little things to make her smile and just show her that I appreciate her. Then one day she came up to me in trig (she sat across the room now because we were both lost and needed help) and she told me she had a horrible day. I offered to take her off campus for lunch and we went to starbucks. Before we got out of the car she started crying which was weird because she’s not the type to do that. She told me her and her bf were having problems. I didn’t take any joy from hearing this, I genuinely felt bad for her. We talked and they ended up breaking up later that day. She wasn’t dependent on him or anything but she was used to having him be “her ride” so I offered to take her to work/school for a couple days. There was already another guy (her current bf) trying to get at her even before they broke up but she needed time to do her own thing which I understood and respected, although it did cross my mind a few times how vulnerable she was. I was just trying to be her friend and help her out. We got really close during this time. We started out barely friends to being really close friends. We knew each other well and I knew she had my back and vice versa. We were kicking it a lot now, and by my graduation, I considered her one of my closest friends. Same day though, she finally gave in and started going out with her current bf. He was nice and took care of her so I wasn’t even mad. They’ve been going out about 8 months now and they’ve been living together for about 6 (her fam kicked her out shortly after she got with him but they’ve reconciled). He works full-time and she graduated a semester early and is currently jobless. He doesn’t like her going out without him so she stays home everyday or occasionally visits her mom a few blocks away. He has some ridiculous rules set for her (but he applies those rules to himself too); she can’t talk to other guys (no saying hi or anything), she can’t work at places with male employees or where guys shop, just some weird protective stuff! It’s like he doesn’t trust her even though she’s never nor would she do anything to lose his trust. I know it upsets her. I’ve been visiting her lately and yesterday she vented to me. We went for a walk (she had to ask permission first and her bf made her bring his taser -_-) and she said although she was happy with her bf (he’s not as bad as he sounds I swear) she wasn’t happy with the direction her life was going. She doesn’t like the feeling of being dependent on anyone and he’s sort of forcing her into that. She can’t really talk to her bf about it because she has a hard time talking to him about certain things and she doesn’t want to argue with him since he’s always at work and she doesn’t wanna waste time arguing. Anyway, after our walk I chilled at her house for a while. She told me she wished I vented to her more because she always does it to me. My feelings for her had been bothering me for the last year so I told her bluntly that I was bi and liked our mutual friend. I’m not ready to tell her I actually like her, I was already paranoid about telling her I was bi because I wasn’t sure how she’d react. Worst case scenarios kept playing in my head. She took it surprisingly better than I imagined. She was really supportive and symphathized with me because I told her it hurt. She advised me to tell my friend I have feelings for her, but also, if I didn’t see anything happening (I told her I was sure our mutual friend was straight)then she could see why I wouldn’t wanna tell her. No point in making things awkward and potentially losing them if nothing’s gonna happen anyway. Now she calls me her bestfriend, and I guess I’m content with that. We came a long way since when I first met her, but I do still have feelings for her. I don’t know if it’s love or if I’m just protective of her. I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship with her, I just know that I want to see her happy and I’d do anything to make sure she is. Even though I’d be happiest if I were the one to make her happy. I’ve told a couple friends about my feelings and advised me to either tell her or cut all ties with her because they know how much it hurts me to just be her friend. Half of me does hurt but the other half is content to just be there for her and see her happy so I don’t know…

hey Brittany, My story is almost exactly the same, just that i met her back in 6th grade… and before that i was loner too… she somehow always made me happy.. and you know wat i told her how i felt abt her, she never said she didnt feel the same way…
but then she never said she did either… but she’s still my best friend, few days ago she told me a guy in her neighborhood told her he loves her… i got so damn mad that day, i spent the whole day crying…
then later she told me she might be in love with him too.. and then it hurt more…
But after all this happening, i figured, I always loved her and i always will and i’ll always be jealous of that guy… but i’ll never be in his place, and somewhere inside i don’t really want to be, wat we have is something more special then what they could ever have…
I used to always play a rapid fire game with her, ehere i’d ask her to choose btween two ppl, up until the time he told her he loved her, she chose me over him… but then the day she told me she felt for her too, i couldnt bring myself to ask her again…
so my point is, my best friend told me something when i told her how i felt… she said she feels all those things you mentioned about me too… but all those things r much stronger than love (even though love is a part of it)… It being a best friend!

hi, i am 14 (nearly 15)and im head over heels in love with my best firend. I’ve been in love with her for 3 years! I love her more than I love anyone else. She is an angel in my eyes. I’m a christian and I’m going to tell her after my birthday. She’s a month and 13 days younger than me. How should i go about telling her?

I` in ove with a youger women, i love her to death, she knows i`m gay .I confess to her the i`m gay. she acceptme the way i am. she`s a good friend. very affective and phisical….that wath hurt the most . I want more the just be fiends and she only offer frienship…I`m older shes to much less older I DO REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER, I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BFEFORE. HELP. what can i do, whit this feelings for her.

This is what happened to me.. Except I was on the other side. My best friend fell in love with me.. All I can say is that you never know how things might turn out. She told me, and we’ve been together ever since. Over a year later, and she still takes my breath away. I love her more than anything in this world. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if she hadn’t told me. We haven’t told anyone because they wouldn’t understand. We’re both straight, we often talk about guys when we’re together.. but we’re head over heels for each other. Oddly enough, her name is Brittany, and the Brittany that posted on here sounds just like her. <33 Anyway, follow your heart, and you might not be disappointed. I know I'm not.

Help! I am a single female in love with a married woman. I met her back a couple of years back, I can’t get her out of my head, we used to be friends, we used to call each other and talk every week, but she started getting distant from me and to the point where she would never call me, I got the messaage…so i stopped communication wit her as well…now we haven’t spoken for over 1 year..i miss her so much, i don’t know if she thinks about me? I always felt there was a special bond between us, every time i saw her i felt it grew more and more…i love men, but i love her – it is possible to be a straight female but fall in love with another woman… now i’m not talking about a school girl crush here..i’m talking about 2 grown women…and me i have loved her for about over 7 years…again…it can’t be a crush if its more then 7 years…i think about her every day for that long…that is love! I miss her, i cry, i hide when i do see her, because its been so long and i’m scared to talk to her…i’m so terrified of her…i feel its not normal, but can’t help the way i feel, i don’t want her to leave her life, thats how much i love her…i want her to stay with her family and to be with her husband! I just want a loving relationship on the side with her…just a great friendship…if thats possible, but its to late, i hate my life, i hate the way its going…i’m not married, i have no children…i want those things, and i feel like a failure – i’m embarrassed because i don’t have that, she has a better job, i have shiit jobs…why would she even like me? I’m so garbage! I always felt like we are soul-mates of some sort, i mean you can have many soul-mates as i researched…but we are connected some how…i feel, but i don’t know if she ever felt that and i would never know, she has put up a block from me…so i guess she must hate me!

I could never tell her my feelings…we live in the same community and its funny how every few months i bump into her…but she will not talk to me. I really miss her so much…i guess its one way thing….

I gess im at the same situation like the most of you. I thought I was straight untill this year when I started to have feelings for my friend. When I met her at first, last year,I didnt thought at her this way at all. She was just one more regular friend for me. This year we started to get closer and I got to know her prsonality better. Only then I fall for her. and its getting harder and harder not telling her cause Im trully in love with her! It is so strange, cause its the first time I have a crush on a girl! I have always had crushes on gusys and felt attracted to them all my life and then suddenly at this age Im falling for a girl. so I really dont know if Im bi or not. Its not like Im seeing a woman and says I want to do her like Its happens to me with guys. Its only for her I feel this way and thats why Its so confusing for me to know what I reallly am. Somtimes it seems that she feels the same.. but I dont know cause she is also straight. I really want to tell her but Im so afraid. I want her to feel the same! But I know I will tell her soon.. (:

^^ Leonor, please tell her. I am in the exact same situation. A month ago I thought I would never tell her because I didn’t want to risk losing someone who meant so, so, so much to me, but when you think about it, isn’t it going to be just as painful trying to be friends with her? Just go for it. She could not be straight. You never know. Good luck

Thank you Abi! You are so right and I promise I will tell her! Did you tell her about your feelings?

I plan to in about 2 weeks, after we finish our exams! (I don’t wanna inflict any extra stress on either of us these 2 weeks). Yesterday we had some extensive conversation about homosexuality and girls and female celebrity crushes, and then I was like, “well I think girls with short hair appeal way more to me, but then I have a really girly and “straight” style myself”, (she has short hair), and she was like yeah, maybe because I’m quite tomboyish and you’re quite girly we look for the opposite. BUT IT PROBABLY DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING. I dunno, either way, I hope your situation works out

hahah It was my plan too ! To tell her after we finish school.. Its soon. I would like too talk with you.. but not here. Cause I have so much to talk about! and it could be nice cause it seems that we are in the exact same situation. I told many of my friends about it(but they dont know her) and also my mother knows. It feels good to have so many to talk about it with. You can search me on skype. My name on skype is: leonor.even ! If you dont have skype it takes about 5 min to do it! would be nice to hear from you (:

I told her about my feelings a week ago! and she said she felt the same.. OMG I cant belive I told her! Its feels soooo good:D

I’m so so happy for you Leonor!

So my best friend and I have this really close relationship. I’m bi curious, I’m confused. And she said she was in the beginning of the school year but now she says shes not. We always joke around and act like we’re lesbian and stuff. She always hugs me tightly for a really long time. She calls me sexy, beautiful and pretty. She pokes me a lot. She lays her head on my shoulder when she’s upset or tired. She tried to hold my hand a couple of times before but I didn’t want to. She puts her arm around me a lot. And there was this one time when her, my other friend and I were talking about something because I brought up when my other friend kissed me on the cheek and I felt really uncomfortable but then I said that I don’t care If certain friends do it, I just wasn’t that close to my other friend who did it. But then she said “But if I tried to do that..you’d slap me..” and she sounded kinda sad. And I told her I wouldn’t. She calls me her wife. Sometimes she’ll just look at me randomly and smile. And other times she’ll just come up and hug me randomly. I told her recently that I liked her for a day a long time ago, and I was texting her and I said “What if I like you again?” and she said “idk but our friendship wouldn’t be broken..and If you ever think that I like you, I wouldn’t be a creeper about it and stalk you and stuff” so then I asked her if she liked me cuz she brought it up and she said “no! I’m just saying that if you ever thought I did. But I don’t though.” so then I got really confused and asked her “well why would you be a creeper if you don’t..?..” and she just said nevermind. So then I was left confused. But ever since that day that I told her I liked her for a day, she kinda started ignoring me a little for about 2 days. And now were back at being how we used to be. And one day in P.E, I told her that another one of my friends told me that she liked me so I told her about it. And she said “Woow really? I don’t even like you. But if I did, i don’t see whats wrong with it.” and it kinda made me think that she might like me. And thats when it all started. And I kinda like her…again…and every time I ask her somehow, she says no. But then it seems like she flirts with me. Like earlier today a sex song came on and she jumped right up and started playing around and acting like she wanted to have sex with me, and I know she was joking but it still kinda gives me ideas that maybe she might like me. And recently she just started ignoring me out of no where, and I still don’t know why. But she was ignoring me and I didn’t know what I did and I was crying literally every single night and I just thought I was gonna die because I felt like I was loosing her and she’s my best friend. But then recently she just started to kinda talk to me, like yesterday she was talking to me a little bit and today earlier in the morning at school I kinda stayed away from her because I thought she still didn’t wanna talk to me. But she constantly kept looking at me..like the type of look that you look at someone when you love them. And it’s like every time I would talk to someone I would spot her staring at me at the corner of my eye. And one time when I spotted her staring at me when I was doing something, I looked up at her and then she just started talking to me and then later on everything started to go straight back to normal again and I was happy. She was dancing with me, singing with me. And one thing that really got me thinking was that she kept constantly trying to touch me. It’s like she kept trying to get closer and closer to me and she kept touching me. And then we just ended up hugging for a really really long time. And I think we did that because we both were ignoring each other and I think we really missed each other and didn’t wanna let go. And we hugged a lot after that too. During that period of time, I stopped liking her but my feelings came back and I think I’m falling for her…do you think she likes me too?.. 

I’ve had the same thing for me as well. I’m bi and my bestfriend knows and excepts it. But the problem is i fell for her when we were in grade 6 and it has been getting worse and worse. I told her once in grade 11 and she told me she liked me as well and that she’s bi but she told me to wait until after high school to try a relationship because of high school drama so i did. I love her i’d do anything for her. But then she dated a couple guys. I tried convincing her a couple of times but she fell in love with one guy. So i backed off because i wanted the best for him. A year later he died in a car accident. It’s been 4 years. We’re both 20 and have been out of school for 2 1/2 years. I haven’t talked to her about my feelings again. I even told her i got over them. And i dated a guy but it didn’t work out. And i’m still as in love with her as ever. I don’t know what to do… i would do anything for her… even break my own heart

I fell in love with my best friend at the tome in Year 6. I am now in year 7 and she found out that I liked her recently. She figured it out by herself but I also told her myself so she could hear it in my own words. This year we haven’t been as close as we were last year. I told her I was bi last year and she was okay with it. We haven’t talked since I told her that I liked her and now I regret it so much! I want our relationship the way it used to be. I know that she will never want to go out with me because she says that she’s 100% straight so I shouldn’t even go for it. It’s embarrassing seeing her at school because we always make eye contact then she looks away. Last year she always kissed me on the cheek, leaned on me and acted really affectionate towards me. Now she is acting really awkward around me and I dint know what to do. I want to talk to her about it but I dint want her to think I’m annoying because if it happened to me I would think it would be annoying if the person kept trying to talk to me. I want to tell her I’m sorry but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Btw I am 12.

Okay So I kinda have the same situation I’m only 11 and my best friend is 13. I’ve been having lots of fights with her but i guess thats just because I’m afraid of what might happen if I tell her I’m falling for her. I’m straight and so is she. She and her sister share a room and im always with my other friend when im around them. so we never have time alone.Okay i know I told you some of this it might be awkward but. I do love you and i”m not a lesbian lol.. Okay You’re beatiful You’re funny,, Most of all u make me smile all the time I might not show it but I am smiling on the inside. I think about you all the time. Imso stupid for this its wrong but Ugh i know you pobably wont care and leave me and say im creepy. I love you. [♥] bye [:)] <– thats what i sent her on facebook. i didnt like her reply though. shes amazing I love her soo much. But she doesnt really get the hint Ugh anny advice??

How do you delete comments? they mother trucker blocked me on fb wont text me so im over it little puta!!

!!!!

((( NOT SURE HOW YOU GONNA TAKE MY EMAIL IVE THOUGH LONG & HARD ABOUT TELLN YOU ANYTHING BECAUSE I ALREADY NO WHAT U GONNA DO …TO CHANGE LANES & HAVE A FRESH START I THOUGH ABOUT SOMETHING YOU SENT ME A WHILE BACK IT’S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS RELEASE & RESTORE IF U CATCH MY DRIFT * Its been 5 years of knowin you …since day 1 ive LIKE YOU …when i first shook your hand it was like a rush threw my body a feeling i cant explain even if i tried..your SMILE is AMAZING you have a BEAUTIFUL SMILE but what attracted ME to YOU was your HEART also your swag an personality ..i love the way you Carrie your self keep a low profile take note you are a amazing women who’s very smart down to earth their are not to many women like your self i mean i wanted to express along time ago but I was afraid you was gonna stop talking to me ..rather than loose the connection line plus I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU THAT I DID NOT APPOARCH YOU IN THAT MATTER because i did not want you to stop talking to me cuz i knew in da pass i kno pple has came at u with da ish cuz some1 told me what was said but i just could not tell u …u may think n yo mind dis bitch is crazy … but its just getting to me now ….(FUNNY), (SWEET) have a great (SENSE OF HUMOR),(UNQUIE), (PASSIONATE)to no return Dats u!!! u not like most.. meaning YOU R VERY SPECIAL …I’VE HAD A CRUSH ON U SINCE DAY 1 call me crazy sick in the mind I may be all dat but 1 thing I do know a good women when I c 1yeah I know after this you and I probably want talk no more but I’ve been holding it n for a long time did not wanna scare u away r u look at me different r distant ya self from me altho I like u n dat kinda way I’ll Neva cross da line neither will (MY RESPECT)for (U)Eva change like u say better out than in express how u feel otherwise no 1 will no how u feel so I rather tell u da truth ….than to keep it n …I mean lots of thoughts cross my mind like my bday im not really sure but if I had to guess me liking chicks is probably 1 of da reasons you did not wanna hang &my age and da level u met me on which was cool I’m not yo age somethings I KNO YOU’VE CAUGHT ON A LONG TIME AGO THAT I LIKE YOU ….BUT DAT STILL NEVER STOP U FROM TALKING TO ME I’M HAPPY …you’ve help me along way and I thank you from the bottom of my heart I’m not lamoinca r da other 2 but if u ever need anything r some 1 to talk to I’ll be here to listen and be a help n any way I can …I THANK U FOR EVERYTHING YOU DONE I LEARN A LOT FROM YOU AND I KNO MANY OTHERS WILL .. BE BLESS N ALL DAT U DO MZ Kay!!!!:)When I looked at you my heart started to race. My head was spinning, I was lost in your gaze. At that point nothing in the world felt as good then shaking your hand many days I wish I could go bck to those days Life is just a blur. Your presence consumes me. Often times I think of your face, your laugh, your smile, I think of times I would just look at u &wonder what u was thinking its was kinda hard lol but its was wonderful … I cherish a lot of moments wit u ….to be real dat was the most fun I had n my life u was da only 1 who believed n me when most didn’t & u still do no 1 has had dat much belief n me not even my family I was always told I would n up like my mother so for I’ve made them out of lie & is determined to keep dat way I’ve been threw a lot learn many lesson took a lot for granted & is bless to have a second chance to do right I’M SORRY IF I MADE U FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE I MEAN NO HARM AND AS I STRESS MY
RESPECT IT GONNA REMAIN THE SAME FOR U MSkayIS HOW I WILL ALWAYS ADDRESS U .. blessing for ever MZkay!!!! & take care your self  THIS IS WHAT I TOLD HER IN RETURN I GOT THIS…

Ive personally kept a professional boundary b/c of my position. I wont defend any rumors or thoughts past nor present b/c it is neither here or there as relevant (“hear say”). I will state that, regardless of ur sexual preference…u were & still is a child in need & THAT is my main focus. Feel free 2 inbox me when in need or email

♥!*SO * LVE* M! *29♥

Okay, so i’m in love with my best friend. She is 11 years and 9 months older than me. I don’t think I am bi and I know she isn’t. I have a boyfriend and she has been married for 9 years. I have known her for almost two years. The whole time she complains about her marriage and how he cheats on her and how poorly he treats her. At first she was just another friend to me, but after about a year of knowing her and really getting to know her, I began to see her differently. I began falling in love with her. I think about holding her hand and wrapping my arms around her. She is not the most physically fit person but to me, she is perfect; the most beautiful woman on the planet. We are extremely close. We tell each other “I love you” multiple times a day, we hug as often as possible, we never lie to the other, we talk all the time, and call each other cute little names such as boo, babe, sweetie, and hun. I have told her that I want to hold her and she told me if I did, it wouldn’t bother her. I tell her she’s beautiful all the time and she tells me the same. I do my best to keep her smiling and sometimes I hint that I love her more than I let on. I stare at her pretty often and when she catches me, she smiles and asks what; when I tell her that I’m admiring her beauty she blushes. She tells me all the time that she couldn’t imagine her life without me and that she misses me. We send pics of ourselves to each other and we tell each other everything. Sometimes I feel like she may love me the way I love her, but I think it may just be my imagination since I wish it was true. I’m so confused. I would do anything for her and I could treat her so much better than her husband, or anybody for that matter. I want to hold her all the time, tell her she’s beautiful, protect her, love her, be with her. I want to be her everything. My heart aches from missing her so much. I want to tell her how I feel but I really don’t want to mess up our friendship. I’ve told her I love her more than she thinks and that I have a secret to tell her. She tells me she wouldn’t judge me and that she would never change how she looks at me no matter what I tell her, but when I feel like telling her I’m in love with her, I get nervous and just hold back. She makes me so nervous, but in a good way. She tells me I’m so good to her and she admires how I love her so much. I wait all day just to get her texts at night. We talk for hours until one of us falls asleep. I’ve got it bad for her. I know I’m in love with her. It’s not just a crush, or just a passing feeling. I’d marry her if I could. I guess I just need some advice: do I tell her? do I distance myself from her for awhile until I’ve moved on? Do I continue our friendship as is and just not tell her? HELP, please!!! Thanks for taking the time to read this.

heyy, i was in love with my best friend for almost five years and guess what, i got the top rank in class because of her. I studied well just to impress her but 1 thing is, i really don’t want to make it with her up into the next level of our relationship coz i’m religious and i know that it was not right loving someone with the same sex.and one thing is, i don’t want people would think something bad for her if we’re together (i was known to be boyish but not lesbian) so i always try to dress up and act like a straight one.I know discrimination always occur with such situations like this, the reason why i hid myself up, but 1 thing i learned is that IT IS A BIG SIN IF YOU LIVE IN A DOUBLE WORLD. meaning secrets should be freed, and well, yeah i wanted to be saved. Well actually, i already tried to make distances with her but i just really can’t help myself doing it. i miss her and i want to see her every minute of my life. 1 thing that makes me hard to forget her is that she’s very affectionate with me.she usually holds my hands and kiss me on cheeks but i always bear in mind that it was just because we’re friends. let me share you an experience, every time we were together, one of our classmate usually tell us that we’re girl friends and i just answer him YES in a joking tone though how i wish it was true (that classmate of ours is a gay actually).and i actually already told her that i was into girls but she seemed to ignore it coz i pretended that i was in love with another girl but it was long time ago since i told her so it seemed she already forgot it. we are really good friends up to this time and i never lose the hope that someday i have the courage of telling her and forget her at the same time, but still, i can;t deny it to my self that i really love her that much.( well, judging on how i got the top rank because i was inspired by her). I REALLY NEEDS YOUR ADVICE ON HOW I AM GOING TO TELL HER WITHOUT MAKING HER UPSET. PLEEAAASSEE .. i know i can’t handle this by myself.

To: Lilly on July 6, 2012 @ 4:09 am

I was in a very similar situation. Except that I was out as a lesbian. My friend who is also 10 years older than me was in a terrible marriage and it killed me to watch her day in and day out live a life that she didn’t deserve. It took me a while to accept that she was the only thing on my mind, and that every time I saw her husband I wanted to give him an ear full. One day I watched her cry into my arms and tell me how unhappy she was and she asked what I thought she should do. Im not sure what happened at that moment but the words kind of fell out of my mouth and I replied with “ you should be with me.” The look on her face made me want to crawl into a hole and pass out, until she smiled and the room lit up and said she said “what took you so long”. We’ve been together since that day, and here I am 6 years later, and I have never been happier.
Your case may be different she may not feel the same way. But can you live with the, what ifs? What if she feels the same way? What if she’s waiting for you to make moves? What if your all she thinks about but she can’t admit it until you do? If she’s truly your friend shell accept whatever it is you need to tell her and if she doesn’t feel the same way she can help you move on. If she takes a step back and is taken by your advance then she isn’t really worth it in your life. A person who’s worth it is a person who will always be there regardless of the circumstances. I hope it goes well for you and that you post and let other people know as well.

Have a great healthy life everyone.

To: minokawa on July 7, 2012 @ 12:34 pm

First off you need to make a decision. You need to decide who you are. You seem young and that’s ok, most girls don’t understand who they are until late in their lives. A lot of these girls have this problem because of their religion and the beliefs that they were brought up with. In time many come to realize that although your beliefs are etched in your brain and your soul, who you love is part of your heart and it overcomes your soul. Religion and Sexual Orientation fight a very hard battle, in the end the winner lies in the beholder and only you can tell youself what you honestly believe. I myself am not quite sure if i beleive in a god, but I also believe that if god exists and he didn’t love me this way, he wouldn’t have made me this way. I am a lesbian and I am proud to admit that.

Now after you have overcome your religious views. You will find that falling in love is a part of life. At a young age it is very easy to find yourself in “love” with a friend because they are the people you tell everything to the people you trust and the people that are there for us when we have no one else. Love can always grow from a friendship, love comes from our inner soul and who we fall in love with we can never choose. I think you should tell your friend you love her or that at least you like her as more than a friend. If she is really your friend she will accept it and either feel the same way, or smile at you and tell you she doesn’t but that she is going to help you overcome it, and stick by yourside. If she doesn’t accept it, then she was never really your friend and you can find someone better. True friends will be there no matter what the problem is, if they run when things get hard then its not even worth it. We all have families to lean on, but friends are the ones we cry to, the ones we come to with things that we could never tell our parents, and if they judge you for your feelings then you can do without them in your life.

Now in terms of how you should tell her. You guys are still young, don’t do it on Facebook that’s very impersonal and you always have the risk of her showing other people if she doesn’t agree. Just tell her on your walk home or in the park or when your just hanging out. You don’t need to say “hey I’m in love with you” you can say “listen your amazing and I’m sooo happy we are friends, so I feel like I can tell you anything, I hope I’m not wrong, but I like you as more than a friend and it scares me because I don’t want things between us to change”. See her reaction, you have nothing to lose but a friendship based solely on your love for her. Its not a friendship based on understanding, it’s a friendship based on the fact that you need to see her.

Hope this helps sweetie.

Hey, I was reading through a few of these and I noticed that nearly all of them have people who are scared to tell their best friends about their feelings.

Honestly, though it’s probably been used a lot, I say just tell them. You feel a hell of a lot better when you do (Don’t wait as long as I did! = 3 years)

I understand the stress of falling for your close, straight friend and the stress and pain is very often unnecessary because as soon as you tell them you feel better. Or if you’re one of them people that get really nervous about something and chicken out, do what I did and send a text message when you’re ready and determined asking if you can meet up with them and talk.

If they are busy, chances are that they are going to remember that you needed them and will probably bring it up at a later point so there’s no escaping it. If she is not busy, I’d say to write down everything that you want to say to her either in a letter or as something that you can read from and memorize so that you have an idea what to say.

If a friend is really your friend, she will accept you and move past it and it will allow you to move on to. If she rejects you then yes, it’s going to be painful but was she really worth it in the first place if so?

I love my friend been had a crush on her since I was 17she was my mentor we still hve a strong bond we talk on the phone but because she had interaction with never job title we are not allow to even convinced on the phone she knows I like her but she cross lines even risking her job no one do that just cause they care I. Know in my heart she wanna try it out but I’M lost as to why she put her job at be risk we been knowing each other for 6years an I know their S’s to ome type of feeling to risk your job we don’t hang out because of her. job title an was she could loose I’M not sure how I get her to express Help please I know it seem wired but no one would go that for

To: Melanie on July 9, 2012 @ 11:53 am

Okay, so I posted on July 6th… I told her the next night on the phone that I had to tell her that secret that I had been keeping from her. When I have to tell her things that make me nervous, we use a code we made up that makes it easier for me to tell her. You put the first letter of each word and then she guesses it. So after talking all day long tuesday I sent her a text around midnight that said “iailwy”(I am in love with you) and she eventually got it.I was so nervous and scared cause I thought I had just lost my best friend but instead she said “i love that you are in love with me and well i can’t stop smiling…and my heart is racing…” That made me smile so hard… we then went to bed and when she texted me later that day we talked about how I was feeling. She seemed very accepting and I was grateful, but my question still hadn’t been answered: was she in love with me? Does she feel the same about me, even the slightest bit? So I asked her how she was feeling and she explained somethings to me. Here’s what she sent me: “Ok so imma try and explain some of those things you were questioning…first of all this is all confusing to me too…not what u told me but…my own thoughts and feelings…babe u r an amazing person…i love you for so many reasons…u are always there for me, you see the real me, you enjoy spending time with me and genuinely love to learn things about me whether it be stuff from the past or present, you don’t judge me, you are selfless and would do anything for me, you make me smile so much , you build me up with all your compliments and much much more…so its not just that i love you like i do a friend it is so much more than that…so i guess you could say im in love with you….but the only way i can try to explain it is well its not like being in love with someone of the opposite sex or is it..now im confusing myself…its like you said its not like a sexual thing its just a very intense connection that i have with you that I’ve never had with anyone…i don’t understand it but I know what i feel…im not saying im bisexual or anything…but ok let me try this…they say everyone has a soulmate right…well does that person have to be your lover too? Bc I’ve never even had the connection i have with you with a guy…I’ve wanted to but no guy has ever cared about me the way you do. So are you like my soulmate but not in the sense you here some people talk about it.” So after talking some more about how both of us were feeling she finally admitted she was in love with me too
As for her marriage: I really hope it ends. She’s been talkng about divorcing him for over six months, so before i told her my feelings. I really can treat her better than him. I know I can buy her things or give her the life of a queen but I can give her support, protection, I can be her best friend still, ill stand by her forever and love her no matter what. She’s still confused if she wants a relationship with me like that because she’s never felt this way for a female, nor have I, so I understand she’s confused. But I feel amazing now that I have told her and she feels the same. That makes me smile like a fool just typing it I really hope this can develop further. I already told her I want to kiss her, and she’s gonna let me hold her next time I stay the night at her house.. I can’t wait!! Anyways, I just wanted to post what happened and say how extremely happy I am and how grateful I am that God gave this beautiful woman to me
Thanks for reading and giving me advice
Have an amazing day and best wishes to all of you!!

But I do have another question: is it wrong of me to want her marriage to end, not just because of my feelings for her, but because of how unhappy she is and how poorly he treats her? And melanie, how did you begin a relationship after you said she should be with you?

Well.. Yes and no. It is wrong because any chances they would have of fixing their marriage are being ruined. And well- she is a married woman no matter what. But mostly no. As long as you don’t let her cheat on him with you, another person there for her is always good. When it comes to her decision though, that’s where you need to step back and let her decide on her own. It should be based on her current relationship, and interfering wouldn’t help her with that. But I think you know that. You’re lucky though! I hope that it works out for you two. She deserves someone like you not that guy.

Oh yes, I know I can’t interfere with her marriage. I know everything is her decision and I respect every choice she makes. And nope, no cheating, not even with me, because if we were to be together, I wouldn’t like knowing that she could possibly cheat on me (though I know she wouldn’t, she’s not that way). I trust her and love her so I’ll be waiting on her and I’m giving her all the time in the world. There’s no rush when I have forever ahead of me, ahead of us. <3
And thank you. She does deserve better. I may not be the best person in the world, but ill try my best to be for her

Wow, it makes me happy to be reading all these success stories. The truth of the matter is, telling is better then waiting around for a miracle. So just DO IT!

Hi, I really love my best friend, we have known each other since we were 3, and now we are 14, I have loved her for about 2 years. She knows I’m bi and accepts it, about 6 months ago I told her I liked her, and all she said was “it’s ok, I don’t care.” and then she acted like nothing ever happened. It really hurt me because she didn’t show any emotion about it. About 3 months ago I finally got sick of wondering how she actually felt about it, so the next time we had a sleepover I asked her how she really felt about it, she just said that she really didn’t care that I liked her. I told her that there was no way that she could be emotionless about someone liking her, so she finally said that at first she was just scared that things between us were going to change, but when nothing changed she was fine and didn’t care. It’s driving me crazy! I just want to know her emotions, she has never hidden anything from me, and ditto for me to her. We are still inseparable, and we talk every day, but it kills me that she won’t show me how she feels, I’ve suffered from depression for a long time, and not knowing how she feels is making it worse.

Someone please help me figure out how to get her to tell me how she feels! It’s killing me!

I love my best friend too. I’ve known her for a few years now, and we spend a lot of time together. We met through work. The day I laid eyes on her, I was like ‘damn, she is beautiful’. Then we got talking, met up a few times, and now we’re pretty much inseparable. She has made such an impact on my life, I couldn’t see it without her.
But yeah, I realised I had feelings for her a year ago, and it took me a while to tell her, I didn’t tell her until a couple of months ago. In fact, it was her who told me that she had feelings for me first, and it shocked me cause I thought she was straight. So I plucked up the courage and told her that I felt the same.
It hasn’t changed who we are, it’s brought us a lot more closer. We aren’t in a relationship together, but we both get butterflies whenever we see eachother, and never want to leave eachother’s side. We spend evenings in watching movies, cuddling and ordering take away food pretty much all the time.

But yeah, through my experience, I would tell them that you love them… At the end of the day, you’ve got nothing to lose. If your best friend is anything like mine, they won’t mind.

Hey I’m confused I love my best friend but she’s straight but today we were hugging and she pressed my face into her chest and! To complicate things further I have a bf and everyone thinks I’m straight not bi Help me?

Ok, so.. I have always thought of myself as straight, But last year I met a girl at school in grade 10. So over the summer we Became bestfriends, like really close. (She has always told me straight up that she is straight)We talk every single day, but it wasn’t untill I left for 2 weeks untill I realized how much I miss not talking. Then I got drunk with my other friend. I asked her “What do I do, I’m inlove with a girl” Out of no where!!! She is bi so she gave me some advice, but she didn’t understand that she isn’t into girls.. but it wasn’t untill that random out brust that I even realized I love my bestfriend. Now I can’t stop thinking about her. If I tell her, won’t she be werided out from all the time we’ve been spending together, when she thought i’ve been straight all this time?? And even worse, if she is actually 100% Straight… I’m terrified of telling her. And she told me once that a girl had a crush on her once (like a long time ago) when we came across her on facebook and she was laughing… Please help. She tells me she loves me from time to time, but I think it’s as a friend..

Oh… and she always talks about another guy…

thank god i’m not the only one whos feeling this! D
i have this friend whom i met since were juniors but it all started when were already seniors when i had dreams abt her. it was like somehow true but i realized that it was all just a dream.. everyday i had dreams abt her and i dont know why? i dunno if im going lesbi or bi but i really cant stop adoring her.. shes the prettiest girl ive ever seen.. and this is the first time that ive fallen in love with a girl.. i keep on denying my feelings for her but each time that she comes near me and talks to me ..my feelings for her grows even more stronger..shes always been so nice to me. i cant even stop staring at her in school but i didnt make obvious cause people might notice, and every time we hang out together it feels like i’m having butterflies inside my tummy. i keep on waiting for her in fb to go online and chat with her cause i just feel so comfortable talking to her, shes even sweet to me when we talk in fb.. she always put a ♥ after our conversation together. i just cant stop falling for her! shes all i think abt and i think i dont wanna erase these feelings for her.
she doesnt know that i’m bi ..but i wish she knew though.

theres always a time that i wanna tell her abt how i feel for her but i’m too scared that i might ruin our good friendship

if i tell her that i like her i dont know whats goin to happen next.. its either goin to be bad or good. i’m scared that she might stay away from me or avoid me.. i just cant take it if that happens.. the thought of losing her. i really dont wanna ruin our friendship though

Cutiepie16,

Tell her. If she’s a true friend, she won’t mind. I know from experience. Good luck!

i really dont understand what i am right now.. but i really cant stop falling for her. i’m thinkin i’m maybe going bi, i’m so confused. >.< awhile ago she put a curtain around my body to make it like a gown (LOL) yea we were only fooling around at that time.. but when she started putting it around my body ,her arms were like she was abt to hugged me it was like her body was so close to mine. i just cant stop blushing at that time and i cant even stare straightly at her eyes cause she might notice.. but men that was the best feeling ever.. i even got goosebumps after that XD hahaha… oh well.. i'm head over heels in love with her. i wanna tell her but i'm too scared of what might happen if i did that. i dont wanna ruin our friendship. shes really straight and i even heard her say that shes not a bisexual. that what hurts me. i really wish she was though.

i tried everything just to get close to her and have her attention but she really thinks of me as a friend. she doesnt look the same way for me the way i looked at her. i wanna move on but i cant help these feelings for her. shes all i think abt.

should i even tell her? or keep it a secret ?

ilovejen,

You should tell her, if you don’t, you’ll go your whole life wondering ‘what if?’ I know it’s hard, it took me about a year and a half to work up the courage to tell the one I like about it, but I’m happy I did, even though she doesn’t return the feelings.

Good luck!

I love my friend Sydney sooooooooooooo freaken much it kills me to see her hanging out with anyone who even slightly likes her if anyone lays a hand on her I completely freak out and she knows how much I love her and how bad I want her she always hugs me harder and never leaves my side no matter what I can’t tell if she likes me but it realy seems like she does she’s giving me completely mixed signals I don’t know if I should ask if she likes me or not but I have to know!!!! I don’t wanna ruin everything though cause I’m trying sooooooooooooo hard like yesterday I was walking on my hands to try to get her attention but it’s like she doesn’t notice my attempts should I risk it and ask? Soooo confused •~•

So confuzed75,

Ask, you’ll never know if you don’t.

But what if everything gos wrong I cant loose her shes my hole universe shes like the gravity that holds me to the earth I dont wanna make her uncomfortable shes anything and everything to me! But when I do ask how should I ask? Straight forward or just like ease into it?

I know how you feel, it took me over a year to tell my friend that I liked her. I can’t tell you how your friend will react, but if she’s a true friend she won’t act any differently towards you, I also can’t tell you how to tell her because I don’t know her personality, since you know her personality you should be able to figure out how to tell her. The thing I can tell you is that you should just say that you like her, if you say you love her then you might scare her a little bit. Other than that, it’s up to you. Good luck!

Thanks

SOOOO glad I told her I was hugging/holding her and I just whispered “I love you” in her ear and she says “I know and I love you 2″ wowwwwwww im the HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! Well awesome enough said…… Peace

Ok well if anyone has any ?s for me im happy to answer leave youre ? On here or you can ask me through email just leave your email address and put confused after it an I’ll answer any ? You got through that, good luck everyone!!!

its really hard keeping this feelings that i have for her.. i dont know how to tell her. but i think its a safer way not to tell her abt this cuz i know that she’s straight and not interested to have a gf. although there are times that shes hitting some kind of hints that she likes me? i dont really know.. cuz there are times that we spent time together.. only the two of us but it was not that long.. and that was the best feeling ever D although when i looked at her and she suddenly looks at me i quickly look away cuz i get conscious or i keep on blushing and i dont want her to notice that i like her .. when we were together i keep holding her hand and then smiled when shes not looking XD ..sometimes i’m the one who keeps on approaching to her cuz i cant help my feelings i really want to get close to her all the time. sometimes i keep on imagining that we were kissing each other or hugging. i wish that’ll really happen someday . one day i asked her if she was sleepy ,she said yes. i told her to lean on my shoulder to sleep and she did . it was really the best moment that ive had with her. i cant stop smiling when she leaned on my shoulders for the first time and i like it . its like i was going to explode of so much joy inside me D. i just wish she also felt the same for me too .. I LOVE HER SO MUCH and i wish she knew. but she only thinks of me as one of her friends or close friends..

I have read a lot of the comments on this page and it just makes me sad to think that yall are all happy and in love with your bestfriend. I am in love with my now ex bestfriend. I have had these feelings for about 7 months now, and before I told her how I felt I sometimes felt she was giving me hints. So, on October 11, late at night, she was telling me she was going to send her ex boyfriend this long message to say she missed and still loved him. I felt that this would be my only chance to tell her, so I told her about my feelings. She said that I shouldn’t have waited to tell her. I always had this feeling that if I told her, things would not end well. 4 days after I told her, we went to the fair together and she spent the night at my house. The next morning, we woke up and starting cuddling and tickiling each other and that led to us making out. We were late to school because of it. After that, we started arguing everytime we would talk, and we never hung out anymore, and one month after I told her my feelings, she told that me and her were no longer bestfriends. This girl was my world and now I have to deal with the fact that she is gone and out of my life. It hurts and my heart is really broken. She doesnt understand how much she hurt me.

Allykat729,

I’m so sorry, I know how it feels to loose a best friend that you love… I’m 15 and it seems like every time I get a best friend they move away, one of them I had the biggest crush on, I pretty much loved her, but she moved before I could tell her. All I can say is that it will get better, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.

Raven,

Thanks. I was an emotional wreck last tuesday, the 13th, because she had asked for all of her stuff back. I still am not 100% yet, and I dont know if I will ever be. But I can admit that it doesn’t hurt as bad to see her in the hallways at school with someone else. My heart still stings when I see her, but it isn’t as worse. I am still never gonna give up on her and I’m gonna work hard to get this friendship back. I just can’t imagine life now without her by my side, because I had imagined my whole life with her: seeing her walk down the sandy beach in a beautiful white dress to marry me, adopting beautiful mixed babies, and growing old with her by my side every step of the way.

Do you have any suggestions to how I can get my friendship back?

Allykat729,

The best way is to just talk to her. I wish you the best of luck.

Raven,

I am going to try to talk to her tomorrow. It is going to be awkward, but i need to get this friendship back. I will keep you updated. Thanks (:

Allykat729,

Any time. I hope everything goes great!

Woah!! I can’t express how happy I am that this string of comments is still going on. I just spent the last 2 days reading them!! Its just so good to see people helping each other out. The world is still a good place .

Well, as you can guess, I have a similar problem to most of you, except I like to think of it more as a dilemma. See, I have this friend, she is my best friend… We live together (in school) I came out to her as a bi-sexual one night and she took it really well and was extremely supportive. She even offered to help me find people. She was really excited! She said she thinks I might not be, though, and that all girls like girls at some point in their lives, which got me thinking *hmm*.

Anyway, the thing is that we do EVERYTHING together. sports, classes, shower, sleep, eat, etc. I won’t say I’m falling or have fallen for her, because that’s not really how I roll. I love her platonically and I have told her that nothing will ever get in the way of the way I feel for her as a friend, its just that we’re sooooo touchy! We do the weirdest things, and although people know we’re straight(or they assume) they always tease us for “being lesbian”.

I have just told you a whole lot of unnecessary crap, lol. The real problem is that we’re at the end of our school career, school actually knocks off tomorrow for us, then we have massive partying ahead of us!! Then she’s leaving the country for 8 MONTHS!! We’ve promised to keep in contact and all that I’m kinda sad, but oh, well. The thing I wanna know, though is whether I should try to kiss her during one of our many intoxicated nights ahead of us or not. You might be thinking “what makes you think she’s gonna wanna kiss you?” Well, the truth is I don’t. But I’m hoping desperately!! You see I don’t fall in love but she’s the closest I’ve ever gotten. She’s like my friend soul-mate. I’d do anything for her and her for me.

From our conversations I’ve gathered that she’s not completely opposed to kissing a girl. She tells me I’m sexy a lot, as a joke (but I am sexy, just saying, lol…) But you know what they say “many a true things have been said I jest” so yeah… She is also really sexy, and she’s ALWAYS naked, and I told her it gets me hot (in jest, but she knows I was being serious) she just laughed. But that’s cool. I don’t really wanna have awkward moments. All I wanna know is whether you guys think that kissing her (given that she’s leaving and all and we’ll be drunk a LOT) is a bad idea?

*BTW, the legal age for drinking is 18 in my country so this is all legit*

Raven,

Just wanted to update you on some things that happened this week thus far. Sunday night, she messaged me and asked me if this meant i wasnt gonna have her baby anymore. (I can explain, we have had this fake relationship going on, and that was some of the mixed signals I had been getting from her)I told her that just because she broke up with me doesnt mean that the baby left too. That opened a door for conversation for us, and she apologized right in the beginning. She told me that I had beem a great friend to her and she wanted to be the same for me. Then we continued talking, and she said that she couldnt believe that I would be in love with a horrible person like her that would drop someone like she dropped me. Needless to say, we continued talking that night until we went to sleep. Monday, I saw her in between class in the hallway, and she was with a mutual friend of ours. He was giving her a hug, and she said “get off me”, but he didnt stop hugging her. I said “man get off my date”, and she started smiling. That night, we continued talking and I was doing my flirting and she actually let me say stuff. Before we had our problems, she would get pissed and cuss me out if I said anything about my feelings or even complimented her. It has been a great transition so far, and I am very happy I got my bestfriend back! Now it is time to make her realize that she needs to give me a chance! Ha ha maybe not yet though.

Ok so here’s my story. I’m 16 an not sure if i’m bi because i’m not even sure of what i feel for this girl in my same school. Never in my life wud think about liking a girl BUT it jus happened 2.5 years ago. I don’t know if i’m infatuated to her or NOT or maybe i fell in love w/ her. I JUST DON’T KNOW. it’s so confusing. It’s been 2.5 years and still i haven’t gotten over her!! She’s first and i swore to myself , the last girl i’ll have a crush with because its so hard. I never told her what i feel for her because i’m not really sure. She is a friend i met at 6th grade. I feel like she feels the same way not so sure. but what i’m sure about is that we are a victim of infatuation. I can’t stop thinking about her. I began avoiding her because im so confuse of what i feel and i thought what i feel for her would just FADE away. I might write a clearer story sorry its been blurry in my head. I think i suffer mild depression and its gettin hard for me these past few years since i got confused about my feeling for her.

Reading these posts, I think one of the problems is that society pretends that being a homosexual or heterosexual means that you fall in love with the same/opposite gender, while actually people don’t fall in love with entire genders, but with specific persons.

Falling in love is with someone is probably a kind of sum of that person having the ‘ideal mate gender’ (though that may not be as strongly defined in all people), having an attractive personality (being kind, generous, funny, creative, or whatever turns you on), and behaving in a way that makes you feel happy/excited, by gifts, flirting, touching, acts of kindness, or whatever. It’s therefore very possible for quite some people that if someone has all or almost all the properties you seek in a mate, and if his or her actions make you happy/excited to be with/near them, that that is already sufficient for falling in love even if the gender is ‘wrong’.

If you really have feelings for your best friend, it could very well be that she returns at least part of those feelings, based on a combination of how much of her ‘ideal mate qualities’ you possess, where she falls naturally on the gay-straight spectrum, whether there is competition for her affections from a boy or possibly another girl, and how skillful you have been (consciously or unconsciously) of romancing her and making her feel happy and excited whenever she’s with you.

So perhaps it is a good strategy to probe her one day, asking her if she believes whether girls, even straight girls, could very sometimes fall in love with/have a crush on another girl if that girl has almost all the good personality characteristics that she’s looking for in a partner, and is nice to her, and warm, and funny. But that there is a large chance that those feelings will wane when after some time a really nice man shows up. If she can understand or at least imagine that, and can understand that ‘feelings of more than friendship’ can be natural, even for ‘straight girls’ and do not make a person automatically lesbian or abnormal, she may be open to you telling her that you’re attracted to her because of {listing the qualities that she has that you love her for}.

Of course, chances are still that she won’t love you or won’t think she’s able to love you as you love her. It’s however also possible that she’s willing to try dating you a few times to find out how that is. It could very well be that a few months of a ‘real relationship’ with you may be one of the most fun, exciting, romantic times in her life (and yours), and while she’ll probably in the end find a boy that she’ll fall in love with more, that she’ll always remember your ‘more than friends’ relationship fondly as a very happy period. And in very rare cases, she even feels the same way about you, and is writing to this same forum under a different pseudonym describing her crush

But whatever you do, tell her. People tend to regret the things they don’t do much more than the things they do. There’s no greater torture than the thought “If only I had…” I can understand that you may be afraid to screw things up, but if you truly love her and want to see her happy, she will probably not feel hurt (perhaps even flattered that she’s attractive enough to be fallen-in-love with), and it is quite possible that your friendship can endure if you don’t pursue her aggressively and don’t act jealous and stuff. Besides, if you want to achieve anything in life (in love or in work or in whatever) you need to be willing to take the risk to screw things up occasionally, that’s even necessary if you ever want to do something new. Secondly, if she does fancy you, every second of you doubting and being scared deprives her for a precious second of her own dreams coming true. Life is short enough already. Third, while it may be painful to have to break up with her, will those few weeks of pain outweigh the months or years of torture that you’ll suffer if you don’t tell her? Most people overestimate immediate pain and underestimate future pain. It’s better to gather your courage and bite the bullet, for the pain of that will very likely be much less than you think. Lastly, if she is truly your friend, do you think she would want you to be tortured and unhappy by keeping your feelings bottled up and having to repress your urge to cuddle or kiss her? She may be sad if she can’t love you like you love her, but at least it will bring some closure and help you to get on with your life, and spending your time and energy finding someone (whether a man or a woman) who can love you back the way you love them. For they may be looking for someone like you, and every hour you spend doubting whether you should tell your friend is a precious hour that you can’t spend with the person who may be waiting for you.

I’ve liked my best friend ever since I met her in 6th grade. Im in the 10th now. Im head over heels for this girl. I’m in love. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Not even my ex gf. I’ve been trying to hide from it by dating other people but I know she’s the one. I told her that I was bisexual in 8th grade and she was fine with it. I also told her that I used to like her. But ever since I met her she’s just made my life so much better. We flirt and we talk about dating sometimes. We also talk about kissing and some other. We hold hands we kiss each other on the cheek she sits on my lap and I hug her around the waist. We also both get jealous when one of us talks about someone else. Idk what to do. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want her to be mine. But I don’t think that her family would approve. I can’t live without her.

I don’t know what to think right now, I think I’m falling for my close friend. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months because I realized that I might be lesbian. My close friend of one and a half years is amazing! I can tell her anything that’s on my mind, and she always helps me out in tough times, and visa-versa… but lately I’ve been having dreams about her, and whenever I’m around her, I get these massive butterflies in my stomach and my heart races. Her eyes are beautiful, and she’s perfect in every way. I always think about what it would be like to be with her. But the problem is, she’s straight. She talks about guys all the time, and whenever she brings up her crush, I get super jealous. She’s knows I’m bi, and totally accepts it, but she doesn’t know that I like her… love her actually. I scared to tell her, because I love her as a friend too, and losing that bond would be horrible. HALPP!!

Hi everyone..
I think I am in love with my best friend.
I am missing her the most being away from my country. We are friends from 6 yrs. I always was sensitive about all my friends(girls) I had all these years. There was always one friend who was very close to me.I thought I was too emotional. But suddenly it came to me that may be I am a lesbian or bi. The thing is I am from a very conservative society and country. People dont accept such feelings. I am scared right now. I am scared of if I tell her would she be able to understand or I will lose her. Even if everything goes well then how we both gonna face this situation. I was never ever confused so much in life. Please help.

My heartbeat rises whenever I sleep next to her and she hold tight me in her arms. One day she was over me and kissed me on the cheeks but I was not aware of my feelings. I said someone would see us. And now I say SHIT MAN!!
I always want to kiss her on her lips but I just kiss on her nose,forehead. Though whenever I say shall I kiss on ur lips, she says go ahead I dont have any problem. But I couldn’t ever.
I have decided when I will go back to my country I will kiss on her lips and hold her tight. Whatever her reaction might be.
It feels gud to share everything here!!

So I have it the same as all the rest of you guys. I’ve known my best friend since sixth grade, but we became mutually best friends just earlier this year (in ninth grade). I’m completely head over heels in love with her, but also her best friend. We’ve told absolutely everything to each other, which adds to the awful weight of my huge secret. I know that she isn’t 100% straight, but she’s never actually liked a girl before (to my knowledge) so I was a bit hopeful for a while. Very recently, she told me a huge secret of hers, which was that she likes this guy and can’t stop thinking about him. The best friend part of me is really happy for her, but the huge part of me that is in love with her hurts so badly. Whenever I thought about her before I knew about her crush, I got so many butterflies, and it kept me up at night thinking about how our lives could be, how I felt that she was my soulmate. Now when I think about her, I feel like there’s a huge amount of pressure in my chest, pushing from behind my ribs and crushing everything inside of me, and I sometimes shake uncontrollably. I love her more than ever, and we are the closest we’ve ever been. I feel like I keep noticing little things she does that could possibly mean she likes me, but its probably just because I think about her ALL THE TIME and correspond anything and everything in my head to my love for her. I’ve never felt so much love for a person or thing in my entire life, which is why I feel like vomiting whenever I think about telling her how I feel. I would rather hold all of my secrets and awful feelings inside of me forever than lose any aspect of our friendship – I’d be completely lost without her. But I always think “what if” and I have promised myself that if worst comes to worst, I will tell her when we leave high school, even though we promised to keep in touch and be at least great if not best friends for the rest of our lives. I feel a lot better having posted this here, because this is the first time I’ve ever told/typed to anyone about these feelings, but I’m also still in a lot of pain from keeping this secret from her.

Wow it’s amazing how mostly all of these stories relate to me.. Well I’m madly in love with my best friend (E.S.L) I known her since 5th grade I had a little crush on her then but starting in July of 2012 I started falling in love with her we got really close and became the bestest of friends. We tell each other everything… One day I decided to tell her that I’m bisexual . So I did and she accepted me and told that I will always be her best friend. So the next day we were talking and I told her that there’s this girl I like and she said who. And I said you. I told her I like her so much . But then she said I’m so sorry I don’t feel the same way about you. I was so crushed but happy that I told her how I feel. But now I regret it because everything changed between us . We still talk everyday but she acts like she don’t really wanna talk to me and I told her I love her soo much but I think that made it worse . I just want things to be the same again and I want to tell her that I’m sorry for falling in love with her. And now I can’t take it cause I think about her all day everyday . I really want to be with her but she has a boyfriend . I wish that if she gave me a chance I’d show her how much I love her & how I can’t live with out her . I would be the perfect girl friend to her. But sadly she don’t feel the same way at all . I wanna get over her but how ? Please help? I have the most terrible heart ache ever

I also have something similar going on… and its hard!! … I met my best friend in 8th grade.. I’ve always been straight but when I met her I fell for her at first I thought it was jst something friendly but then 9th grade came along … she told me she was bi when I thought she was straight.. tht got my hopes up! And we do flirt a lot but idk how she feels about me and all tht flirting And I really love her becuz I practically turn bi for her .. in my whole life I’ve never felt anything for anyone else like this specially for a girl.. I really want to tell her but I’m afraid she might reject me and tht our whole friendship might change!… I really need help! :/