How Do You Make Friends With Women?

Hi!

I guess my advice would be, make friends with dykes. Lesbians, women loving women, whatever you call it. And preferably dykes you know you are not attracted to.
You’ve mentionned in your other post, in the comments I believe that you had started to move forward and go to support groups and such. Perhaps you could sport a lesbian there, in your situation OR a lesbian who has been out longer than you have, that you are not attracted to, and maybe you guys could start working together, so to speak.
You need a buddy with whom you can share your thoughts and with whom you can bond, with whom you can go out to the movies etc. If she’s less shy and introvert than you are, she can help you approaching women.

But appearantly you have a problem approaching anyone… You are a shy or introvert person. Nobody here can teach you how to approach someone, it’s so natural. I can tell you how I do it, but sriously I do it without thinking about it. I’ve be shy before. WHen I was young. So basically, I think what makes someone naturally outgoing and casual is a good feeling about oneself, it’s when you’re cool and when you have self-esteem, when you feel secure, that you can be very casual.

So, I think it’s going a bit too fast for now. But I see what you mean… It’s something that you need to change. I think it’d be great if you had a buddy. Maybe you could post an add. Newly out lesbian seeks lesbian buddy aged —-, with no attraction whatsoever to share blah blah etc…
Then although you can’t learn not too be shy, maybe you can learn to be less sel-conscious thanks to a special workshop that they have sometimes in community center, or with the help of a therapist, or even a self-help publication that can help you analyze the way you function and think about yourself. And to finish, you need to keep in mind that you’ve done a big big step and you might be in a hurry to live it up, but still it’s huge and you need to give yourself some time. Once you have more confidence and you grow into your newly found identity in a harmonious way, you will feel better and better and be much more casual you won’t even realize it.

Good luck!! Keep us posted!

You should try some online sites like lesbiansinglesnetwork dot com and a few others and put in friendship in the relationship field.

As far as day to day stuff goes, I have had to meet knew people where I live on almost a daily basis. Most of the people are from all over the world and with vastly different cultures. I know pretty much everyone where I live because I generally assume that people are naturally shy, so I just smile and wait until people are familiar enough with me. If someone is aloof with me, I give them space and don’t assume they hate me from that one encounter as they have their own feelings and fears that might keep them from making friends too. But as time goes on, when people see me around enough they usually indicate through an expression of a ‘hi’ or something else and that’s when I usually start up a short conversation with people. That turns later into a longer one, and then you’re on your way to building connections.

So in your job, you have probably had enough familiarity with these women now that you can try to start up a conversation. So you work in cars – maybe some of these women like talking about cars etc? If someone comments on a TV show just chime in and make a joke. Organize a group movie or something with the girls so you can bond. Once you spend more time with people it gets much easier. Even with your discussion group, if you break up to talk just find the nearest person and chat with them. Also I found when living where I am that if i make a point to remember people’s names from the beginning and say ‘Hi [insert name]‘ every time I see them, it is much more personal and allows people to feel like you’re not just saying hi out of some kind of social etiquette.

The biggest thing about meeting people and making new friends is finding the balance between the awkwardness and the over enthusiastic person who is always in your face and gives out an ‘intense vibe’.

In many ways it is really about being yourself and sincere, not pushing it too much, and trying to find common interests in others to talk about.