Is My Friend Gay?
Okay, I’m not sure if one of my co-workers is gay or not. Normally, I’m pretty good at picking up vibes from women, but I just can’t get a hold on her. One moment she’s giving me “gay” then she giving me “straight.” But in all fairness, I think I’m giving her the same thing. Lately, the way our schedules work, we’ve been hanging out a lot more often. I’ve found that she’s really, really cool, and it really doesn’t matter if she’s gay or straight. I just would really like to know… it’s bugging me.
Okay, let’s begin with the things that make me think she’s gay:
- It seems all of her friends are gay… I’ve yet to meet a straight friend of hers. She could just be the biggest “fag hag” I’ve ever met, or she could be living vicariously through their “gay energy”.
- Her best friend is a quintessential, always calls her pet names and talks about their relationship as though it’s more than platonic.
- She’s invited me to the local gay club several times
- She seems to love everything gay. The L Word is one of her favorite shows.
- Then there’s just the overall vibe she gives me most of the time. I often feel like she’s flirting with me, and find myself flirting back
- Lately, she’s been standing pretty close to me
Now, let’s talk about the straight stuff:
- The other day, she introduced me to a very handsome young man who, just like the butch I met, seems very protective of her in a “this is my woman” kind of way.
- She tells me that she and the butch are “just good friends” and have known each other forever, so are very close.
- She’s always telling me how cute some guy is or how hot some man is.
- A mutual friend of our (a gay man) insists that she’s straight, but loves gay people.
My hypothesis is that she’s gay, but may not know it just yet… or refuses to acknowledge it. Or maybe she’s bi… but she’s not acknowledging that either. What do you think?
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She comes across straight to me… or at the very most, bi. A lot of straight gfs of mine love to flirt and go to gay bars. And I know a lot of people who watches the L word, both straight and gay. Also, she seems to be very confident and open. And if she is gay, I doubt she would hide it. Most closeted gays are usually homophobic (not all, but most). And to top it all off, her gay friend tells you she’s straight… and we know most gay men have very good gaydars :p
But hey, you’ll never know, right? You can always ask her straight up or in a jokingly manner.
She sounds bi to me, too. The butch woman may be an ex. You should just ask. Make it a joke, if you can, to ease tension.
She sounds bi to me too:)
bi
actually, more straight than bi… do you want to date her, is that why you want to know?
I don’t really care if she’s bi, gay, or straight. I just wanna know because sometimes I get the feeling that she wants to be my friend JUST because she thinks I’m gay…I can’t quite explain it. I just wanna know.
Ahh ok, well if you’re comfortable in telling her you’re gay either now or after you get to know her more, then maybe she will tell you whether she is straight, gay, bi, or just not completely straight
or if you are all of the above too, sorry i shouldn’t assume you’re gay either.