Acceptance
I’m a 20 year old female and I recently started to accept the fact that I am attracted to girls. When I look back on it, even before I hit puberty I would stare at girls I thought were pretty and wasn’t afraid of getting naked in front of other girls (I don’t get naked in front of girls now though, haha). I checked girls out in my high school years, but I wasn’t realising I was doing it. It was an unconscious thing for me. I thought all girls did it.
The first person I lusted over was a girl and I’ve fallen in love with a girl, but the whole situation made me confused. I think because I was very confused about my sexuality. I identified as bisexual, although I didn’t really accept the fact I was attracted to girls. I’ve liked guys and I’ve been with guys, but I don’t find them attractive and I don’t want to touch them. A friend of mine said guys aren’t that attractive, which set me back a bit. What do you people think about this? I’m sure a heterosexual girl would say guys are very attractive…
In high school, I used to get a lot of shit from friends about being lesbian. Now that I look back on it, other people have asked me if I’m lesbian too and when I first came out to myself I felt like I had a big stamp saying “lesbian” on my forehead. I got involved with GLBT issues when I was a teenager, because I’ve always felt I could identify with them in a way.
This whole situation makes my head hurt, haha. I’m probably thinking about it too much. I haven’t done anything with a girl though. I would like to.
My question is: I’ve come out to myself. What next?
Comments
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
i feel the exact same way. Im 21 and just recently came out to myself and a couple of my close friends. Like you i have always felt like i was attracted to girls but i thought it was normal. A friend of mine came out to me in november and i started to talk to her and we ended up hooking up. Well when i started to come out to my friends they were like we kinda already knew that. So i guess there really is no denying who you are. You are going to act the way you do and if people perceive that as you being lesbian or whatever then maybe you subconsciously act that way because it is the way you are. That probably makes no sense. I dont know how to put it into words. I would say the next step is totally up to you. If you are ready for a few people to know then tell them. If they are true friends they will accept you for who you are. But if you wait too long to tell someone it will start to eat away at you. Or at least thats what happened to me. I couldnt not talk about it anymore. I hope this helped
Twenty was the exact age where I was completely out to myself. Like you, I always had feelings for girls, but couldn’t sort them out. I dismissed my crushes on girls as admiration.
So what’s next for you? Well, you should put yourself out there. That doesn’t mean try and hook up with every girl you meet, but go to gay themed events, go to the club, check out the scene a bit. Talk about it with your close friends and you’ll see (hopefully) that they’re very accepting and supportive. Even though you’re gay, coming out to your parents/family doesn’t have to be priority #1.
The most important thing is to have fun through the whole experience. You’re going to learn a lot in the next few years about yourself, about your type, and about the lesbian scene. Don’t try and rush anything or actively seek out a mate.
Good Luck!
Live. Date. Have fun. Feel great that you’ve figured out who you are.
once again wandalake got it right. so true. live. date. have fun. feel great you got it going on. be happy.
it’s not 5:59 am here, it’s 12:02 am.
My story is pretty much the same. I chose to tell my family first, and they said they already knew. Then I told my close friends and it was they same thing. They already knew. And they accepted me for who I am. I know I’m lucky and it was a great relief to tell people.