Country Livin’

You can tell them, it is up to you. If you feel unsafe in telling them that you are gay there are other things to say that might work. You can tell them that you are more intersted in getting into university than dating at this point and would rather work on school or applications. You can tell them that you think dating is for finding the one that you want to settle down with and that you are not ready for that so why look. Or you can say I’m into girls. This is your life and the town that you have to live in. You have to decide to do what is best for you.

If I were in your situation, I would just say, “I don’t date guys.”
And see what the townsfolk get out of that

It absolutely kills me to say this but if I had it to do all over again I probably wouldn’t tell. Unless you plan to live in this town, go to college nearby I don’t think it’s worth the hassle you might get in a small “middle of nowhere” community for the short time till you go away to school. I was in a very similar situation, albeit ten years ago, so maybe things are a little more open now, but I wouldn’t bet on it. I’d made a few “summer job friends” – people to chat with, have lunch with etc. I didn’t hit them over the head with it but I let it be known after a while that I was gay. Even the ones that were okay with it treated me differently. It was subtle but it was there. No biggie. I’ve come to expect that to varying degrees no matter where you come out. It was the conservative and religious folks who made it uncomfortable and they were the majority in my town. One older woman started a rumor that I’d come on to her. As if. Others just quit speaking to me unless absolutely neccesary or tensed up when I walked in the bathroom. And several, genuinely concerned and kind folks, invited me to join their church. So their were many uncomfortable moments that I could have lived without. Maybe you have a tougher skin than I did and can let it roll. Kids in my new school knew after a while. Teenage boys can be such a**holes. There was one incident where a few younger boys saw me filling up my car one night and started calling me all the names you might expect. One tried to pin me against my car – alcohol was involved, unsurprisingly enough – but thankfully I got out of that one when another car pulled up.

If I had it do over again I’d consider what part of the country was in question. The Bible Belt, the deep South or a small town in New England, for example. Are their many Fundamentalists in the area? I don’t mean to sound unfair to Christian Fundamentalists but you have to consider the culture you’re walking into.

Last thought, think about what you can tolerate. And if making a political statement by being out is something you can handle – go for it. So many people think they don’t know any gays or lesbians because we’re not all stereotypical so it’s good for them to learn we’re all around – looking and acting just like them. Just be safe. Good luck, hon.