What’s Going On Here (Expert Help Needed)?

Hi All, I’m new in here having just found the site. I need some advice on a situation that is driving me nuts!

To cut a long story short, I have met a woman on the internet via MySpace (not dating website). I got to know her gradually and we sent messages to each other for a few months like with all the other friends on the site. I paid it no mind. Then over the holiday period we got to message more until one thing led to another and we were swapping life stories and very personal past experiences. This progressed to emailing each other too, as well as messaging daily, sometimes for long periods of time on the MySpace site. I have seen her picture and she’s hot and I think she feels the same, we flirt briefly but to be honest we have kept it more friendly but very intimate. She is great with advice and thinks I am too. I was flattered. Then I decided that enough was enough and I had to stop wasting my time on the internet. I told her this and she gave me her cell phone number. I texted her mine and she seemed happy and replied. We have texted each other a few times and I have gone back to the website as I’m totally into her. My heart sinks if there is no message from her that day.

Anyway, one night she said she would call me and I said ok. She did the night after but I was sleeping and disorientated and we didn’t talk. We arranged for another time and she called again, this time I was so excited and nervous that I just talked nonsense and found it too weird. (Not her, but the whole internet thing and its connotations). Does this sound familiar to anyone? I know that people meet in chat rooms all the time, but it wasn’t like that and I so want to be her friend that I’m scared to say anything different. I have however made massive hints, but they are not usually met with anything like I would like back. If I don’t message for a while then she does and this whole thing starts again. I have asked her 3 times specifically to come out, and texted her when I have been free, but she never takes me up on it. But then maybe a few days later will say something like we should meet. The main problem is that I just can’t stop thinking about her; maybe I blew it on the phone. We messaged each other after and agreed not to call each other again, although I long to. She also wrote a poem and posted it on her blog and asked me what I thought, it was ambiguous but was called ‘if we had met’.

What is this woman doing? I think I am in love with her, so much so that I have finished a 6 year relationship because I can’t get her out of my head. It just wasn’t fair to be in something that had died the day I started messaging her. I really want something to come of this, but feel a bit played with to be honest, and I can’t say anything because I want her to value me as a friend and not think that I just want to get into her pants.

This has been going on for a year now; we still haven’t met and still message each other regularly. She MUST surely feel the same way, or am I just another one of her online friends. I don’t want to hassle her, cause her any problems, or become stalker like in my actions but something’s got to give soon!

I have never done anything remotely like this before, over the internet and would think it was for the deranged so it makes it even more irritating. I can’t just stop either, she has me hooked!

By the way, you may be interested to note that we are not children; we are both in our 40s!! So what now? Please, any advice would be fantastic.

Thank you

Nell

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