Her Parents Are Trying To Destroy Our Relationship
Ok. Some one please help me with this! I’ve posted before and have told you I’m in a 7 months relationship and 14.
Alright, so we (me & my girl) have told our parents already that we have been dating (my parents at 2 months, her parents at 3 and a half). They (my parents) are totally cool with it and it was all nice, her parents had suspected, but her mom flipped when she heard that her daughter was dating a girl (she’s Lutheran, I don’t think they like that homo stuff) but she said that it’s fine. She accepts it. Bob (her mom’s husband) knows also, he’s cool with it. But the thing that really bothers me is they are so damn strict, my girlfriend was always grounded from me for the stupidest reasons; like one time because me & my girl met up at the movies and her parents flipped and grounded her because she was with one friend and shouldn’t be with others at the same time, I’m like “wtf? Ok…?” and I hated that, they always blame our relationship for things that happen that they don’t like. Like I always did school sports and this year I don’t want to because I want to focus on school and so does my girlfriend, so we’re saying ‘no distractions, no sports’ and both our parents flipped out and now say it’s going to be even more harder to see each other (like it makes a difference because we don’t see each other a lot anyways, I see her for a day and have to wait another 5-10 days to see her again) because we have a long distance relationship. They don’t believe either of us with that, and we’re like “soo much trust there.” Whatever then, I guess.
I also think her parents have always hated me, still think that. They always say that I don’t treat my girlfriend right, and I’m not the ‘right one’ for her and I’m controlling and crap like that (also that I have no manners and swear a lot), they said that to their family and possibly some friends, I hate them now, those are complete lies! (UGH). So I always ask myself, what did I do wrong? Is it because we’re dating? Have they always hated me? It confuses the crap out of me and bothers me sooo much! Now my girlfriend and I are going to have ‘limitations,’ already do because my girlfriend gets her phone taken away at 9.30pm every day because her parents found out we talked till 1.30 in the morning a few times (even though it IS summer break). Also, her parents have totally taken away sleeping over at each other’s houses because she heard things from my INSANE PSYCHO mom about me & my gal doing things we’re not ready for. Why would we do that stuff if we weren’t ready? Confuses me also and makes me hate them more. I know her parents dislike our relationship without second thought and will do anything they possibly can (without going too far) to ruin it but me & my gal love each other a lot so it isn’t working, it’s just making things worse for everyone. I used to rely on my dad for his support on our relationship but now he has to agree with her mom’s decision just so she thinks everything is equal and I’m like “Yeah, TOTALLY equal.”
No one understands our relationship and I really wish they did. I don’t know what to do anymore because I kind of can’t do anything to stop this chaos. I don’t want to leave my girl but sometimes I can’t take it and think I should, but still don’t. I never understand what we did wrong and if my girlfriend’s parents ever really did ‘accept our relationship.’ I feel like it’s my fault for all the tensions put between my girlfriend and her family (mainly mom and Bob.) she tells me it’s not and it has always been like that. I just don’t know what to do and think of it, I don’t know what I can do in the future to help make it better; I’ve lost hope with being optimistic about it. It’s hard to with all the shit they create. Help me some one! I’m lost in this. What do I do? I need advice pronto! Please and thanks!
Loves, Ro (there is more to this problem, if you need help understanding, just comment and I’ll reply with a clear understanding [or at least close to clear] for anything. this is a difficult situation so don’t worry, ask questions, I know I’ll have answers] Thanks.)
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I hear you.. “I don’t want to leave my girl but sometimes I can’t take it and think I should, but still don’t.” Don’t ever EVER second guess yourself. Look into her eyes. If you believe it’s right then don’t stop and consider anyone else. I know it’s hard when you first come out but at the end of the day we are given this life to enjoy it. If all you ever did was please others then what do you live for? Same goes with your girl. Look after each other. Everything else comes second. They can get over themselves.
Hello there Angel,
Not to sound preachy, but could it be because both parents worry that you both are getting serious a little too fast at a very young age? When I was in HS, my parents would never allow boys to sleep over at my house (even though I didn’t date in HS), so I imagine it should be the same with both of you guys. Perhaps that is what your parents meant by “treating you equal.” Do you think if you were dating a boy (or vice-versa), things would be different?
The only advice I can give you is to follow their rules. When you both are 18, then you could do whatever the hell you want
You should be thankful that both parents aren’t preventing you guys from seeing each other, or sending you both to a shrink or some “ex-gay” conversion therapy group 
Trust me, it could be worse!
If you abide by their rules, who knows, maybe both parents will learn to relax a little and trust you guys.
Good luck!
I agree with Pinky. The truth is, since you are both just 14, there’s not a whole lot you can do. You just have to make the best of the situation, and try to get her parents to trust you.
Have some manners and don’t swear around them, try to convince your girl not to lie about seeing you, and treat your girlfriend well. They’ll probably like you more after that. But it doesn’t really sound as if they hate because if they did, you probably wouldn’t be allowed to see your girl at all. It just sounds like they’re acting like parents of any other 14 year old in a relationship.
Thanks for the comments guys. Appreciate it=]
Saraseven: You are right and I try not to second guess anything, but it’s hard not to, I love my girl, so our relationship is not gonna end (ever). They will accept it soon or a later (hopefully), cuz I’m not leaving. They will get over it =P.
Pinky: You are right with the rules and we do follow them, it’s just any little thing that my gf, me, or we do wrong they use it agianst us only because they want reasons to end our relationship, sorry, we make mistakes. Umm, we are getting serious; but we’re also very much curious (since this is our first time in a girl/girl relationship. I think her parents are going through that ‘process of accepting’ as people call it, so i’ll just let them relax and ease up. thanks.
Wandalake: Well, all those things i said in that post are lies they made up, meaning I DO have manners and I DON’T swear (ever) swear in front of them (never have) and I treat my girlfriend better than anyone else in the entire world, she knows that and I do too, and I’m not controlling at all; my girlfriend just gives into everything I do or say (not everything) because she’s afraid she’s gonna lose me (she did once when we we’re just best friends and she doesn’t want it again) but she should realise that I’m not gonna leave her and should start to give herself some self-spirit and dignity (and whatever else goes with that, sorry can’t think), I still love her though. her parents aint bringing me down.
Thanx alot to everyone=].
Here’s an update:
I’ve decided to do school sports, which is an awesome thing because our relationship is saved, sad thing is my gf’s ended it like an hour later after I decided to do sports, so her parents think we’re not dating but me ‘n’ my girl know we are, we still get to talk, which is good or my gf would’ve done some bad things to herself (she didnt though, phew), my dad says he’s got my back and will talk to Her mom today about straightening this out (me n him talked, we cool now), so I’m just hoping for the best right now, but just happy to know that our relationship isn’t over. I’ll definently be more careful and good.=]
K, thanks again1 Bye!
Loves, Ro
scared to get to that part.. my parents doesnt know i have a gf.. they think shes my bestfriend or sumthin.. but still if they get to find out,, i believe dad won’t like the set-up.. tsk!
sorry, I meant *my Girlfriend’s parents ended our relationship* not the other thing… In the Update part.
Sorry.