Two Loves?
I am in a relationship of 8 years. I totally love my wife and knew the moment we met, 10 years ago, that we were soul mates and meant to be together. Our relationship has, of course, had rocky moments, but overall, we have been strong. My wife has the patience of Job with me and listens to me well. We enjoy many things together, but also have outside interests that give us our independence. I love her with all my heart, and believe that I am also quite in love with her as well.
The problem is, I am in love with another woman – too. I have known her for over a year now and she is in a long term, seemingly stable relationship as well. We connected on a very deep level upon first meeting and have shared a lot with each other over time. We click together well and very much enjoy one another’s company on nearly every level possible. We have discussed this connection and have similar spiritual beliefs and both feel that our souls have known one another in the past, perhaps many times in the past even. Her friendship is invaluable to me. The four of us also do a lot of things together as two couples – bbq’s, trips, etc. We are both very touchy feeling people, so there is a lot of hand touching and hugging and such that goes on with us, which I enjoy. We have done NOTHING sexual.
I guess my question is… is it possible to truly love two people? My mind is having a hard time wrapping around it. And should I do something about it? I certainly can’t tell my wife because I know there is NO WAY she would understand and believe that I still most definitely love her too….
Thoughts?
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. About your experience i think...
I don’t think I can love two people at once, and I know a lot of others can’t as well. But I’m sure some people can do it. For me, it’s about the way I love. When I love someone, it means that person comes first before everyone else. It means I’m honest with them and share myself with them first. I can’t do that with two people because doing it with one takes away from the other.
If that’s not how you love, then maybe you can love two people at once and more power to you. But if you’re hiding this from your wife, even if you do love her, it seems that you may not be acting like it. And that’s really all that matters. There is such a thing as an emotional affair which I think you know since you are reluctant to tell your wife. I think that it’s time you end things with this other woman or come clean to your wife and see if you can find a solution. Good luck.
I don’t seem to be able to find one soul mate and I close on one person at a time, but I have come to accept other ppl are different to me. No, I don’t think it’s right to keep it from your wife (maybe it’s more convenient, but I don’t care about convenient, maybe you do), and don’t forget new things haven’t passed the time test… I’m beggining to suspect the whole soul mate is either a scam or is not gonna happen for me this time round.
someone wise told me once that sometimes you find someone who you have this strong bond,so strong you can’t define it. But that doesn’t mean that there placed in your life to be your soul mate…sometimes you need a friend that is on your same level all the time. Don’t let this small bond ruin eveything you worked so hard to buid with your wife …trust me …if you do something aboutthis you can lose your wife and maybe even lose your new friend.I suggest you be honest with your wife and then you and her can figure out how I do things that will make you connect more…I lost my best friend and my girlfriend of 3 years ( who was wonderful ) because I just jumpped ship ..read my post …good luck !
Maybe you can love two people and the same time, but if your wife doesn’t agree, you have to choose. Not wanting to tell your wife about the other woman is a sign there is a lot more going on than you want to admit. In fact, you have nothing to hide, you don’t do anything ‘wrong’. But if you have feelings for this other woman, you have to find out how much they mean to you and tell your wife (if those feelings are important). You can’t help having feelings, as long as you are honest to your wife, she can not blame you. Maybe it will make you stronger together.