Looking For Some Clarity
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Hello hello.
I’m new here and I’m not quite sure if I’m a lesbian or not… and it’s rather comforting to know that I’m not the only one who goes through all these questions and that there are women out there who are helping us get through it.
I’m 22 years old and I’ve only dated and slept with men… but I’ve found myself attracted to women and recently, even had two huge crushes. I’ve never kissed or had sex with a girl… I find myself attracted to a particular kind of women… and most of them are either the girly girl (lipstick?) or athletic but still feminine… Not all women, of course. I mean, take for example my best friend. She’s gorgeous, smart but I’m not attracted to her, not because she’s straight but she’s just like a sister to me. Even if we’re super close and she sometimes jokes that we should get married (she calls me her wife, and I do the same)… She’s straight but she sometimes gets jealous when I don’t spend much time with her. She constantly ‘talks dirty’ and flirty with many sexual double meanings… but we kind of established that as a running joke between us although sometimes she gets defensive and tells me that she’s really straight. We’ve slept on the same bed many times and almost cuddled but we haven’t done anything more than that…
I myself am feminine, I wouldn’t say very feminine but I do wear girly clothes: skirts, dresses, sexy tops and heels and wear makeup… but I also love sports and cars… Everybody I know think I’m straight – I was in a serious relationship with a guy who I almost married. I’ve joked about being bi with some friends but it wasn’t really a coming out kind of thing… So no I’m not out…
I know there is probably no one answer to this but, how do I know if I’m gay? I AM attracted to women and think about not only kissing or having sex with them but also being in an actual relationship… but I’ve no experience at all… At the same time, I still find guys attractive and I still have had sex with a guy recently… I liked it but still long to be with a woman… and want to be in a real relationship with a woman but at the same time, dream of getting married to a guy and having kids and a family…
Is there really such a thing as being bisexual? I mean, I always thought that you were either attracted to men or women. How do I know if I’m gay? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
PlanetSappho.com
You just might be bi.
You may not beleive it but you MIGHT BE.
if not, you’re bi curious. meaning, you want to know what it’s like to be with the same sex. If you interested in finding out which sex you enjoy being with more, then go explore, there are some gay clubs in your area, right? And if you do go to those, don’t be afraid to catch some chat time with some girls and get to know them more, and probably get a relationship going. If you enjoy being with a women but still enjoy men (in bed or just in general), you’re bi, and being bi DOESN’T mean you’re confused about which sex you like, you just like/love both and that’s it.
But before you label yourself, go find out, go explore, explore your sexuality! Confidence is key, make sure you let lesbians know you’re interested because being a femme is quite difficult to let lesbians (or gays above all) know you are one or are willing to seek yourself out with them… (not using them though)
Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up with a women for the rest of your life, maybe it’s a man, you’ll find that out, your future is already placed out for you so don’t worry and it shouldn’t matter who you love (gender, race, religion etc. wise), as long as you’re completely (and truly) happy with them, then it shouldn’t matter who you are.
Good luck!
Loves, Ro.
thanks much, Ro.
I’m figuring it out a day at a time…
If you are attracted to both men and women, you ARE bisexual. Although being curious for lesbian sex can be something purely sexual. But then you wouldn’t dream about a relationship with a woman, I guess. Just follow your feelings…
I thought I was straight, but fell in love with a woman. So I guess I am bisexual. I never believed bisexuality really existed, I thought it was only used as an excuse by people who were confused. But it really does exist. And it doesn’t have to be a problem. I’m with this woman now, and do not long for anyone else. In fact, we are planning to get married (which is possible in my country) and start a family. It might not be the future dream I had in mind when I was younger, but at least I know there will be a lot of love in our family and my heart will be totally in it.