Good luck. I’ve given up on trying to change the world long ago. Maybe you’re too young or too courageous. I hope that you’ll make it, with all my heart.

Okay. First of all, you’re awesome and I give you major props for trying something like this.

Second of all, I may have some suggestions. I can’t guarantee things will turn out precisely the way you’d like them to, but there are often more options for starting a gay/straight alliance (or even just opening up dialog on the subject) when you approach the issue in a subtle manner (as you say, you probably won’t be able to call it GSA). I worked for a while as a college admissions counselor for a very liberal, very elite college, and some of the best candidates I interviewed were struggling with high school situations similar to yours. Here are two ideas I found to be particularly smart and relevant:

1) If starting a GSA outright fails or isn’t an option, start a diversity club. One girl was shut down by administration when she attempted to form a group specifically dedicated to LGBT issues, so she decided to address those issues under the umbrella of a much larger diversity organization (promoting open, respectful discussion of culture, gender, and, eventually, sexuality). Catholic schools might get away with refusing to sponsor clubs that may be seen as encouraging deviant (homosexual) behavior, but they are much harder pressed to reject a club aimed at addressing issues of racial or ethnic diversity. Once you have such a club (and you ensure that *every* member understands that respect and tolerance are not virtues you can turn on and shut off depending on the issue), you may able to gently (quietly) add discourse on sexuality to your agenda.

2) One of my all-time favorite interviewees expressed his frustration with being at a strict Catholic school where he all-too-frequently encountered various kinds of closed-mindedness. He wasn’t speaking explicitly to LGBT issues, but he was seeking out ways to encourage his peers toward broader world views. His solution was to start a collective creative writing project with a handful of other concerned students. The end result, which he is raising money to get printed, will be a book of heart-felt student essays (on everything from tolerance and embrace of difference to environmental consideration) that can be distributed to the student body, as well as to the faculty and administration. If the student voice is eloquently represented (the essays are quiet, respectful ruminations rather than bitter attacks on status quo), there’s a good chance the school as a whole will have a harder time reacting in a blatantly negative way.

The truth is that GSAs are different at every school. They range dramatically in terms of activity, outreach, student participation; the dynamic of such an organization is highly dependent on the make-up of the student body (mostly liberal, mostly conservative, mostly scared and confused, etc). Your school might not be ready for a full-fledged GSA complete with annual techno dance, riotous gay guest speakers, drag shows, Pride Week, and Coming Out assemblies. Only you can accurately assess what your peers are capable of putting together and committing to. My suggestion, therefore, is to start slow, to work with the friends who are already on board, and to couch discussions of sexuality as much as possible in larger discussions of human kindness/cruelty, globalization, and social awareness.

If you can teach people to be open-minded, respectful, and tolerant in one area of their lives, you might then be able to teach them how to extend that tolerance. It might be a while before you reach your end goal (you might not even get there before it’s time for you leave the school), but if you get the ball rolling now, you’ll be making it easier for every class that comes after you.

Okay. Hope that helped. Feel free to e-mail me at hepkath@gmail.com if you need more support or want to sound out ideas. And bravo for pushing your thinking this far.

PS. The young man with the book of essays is working very closely with a supportive English teacher (in his words, a “very cool nun”) to make sure his persuasive writing is truly top-notch. If you’ve got some faculty support, you’re lucky and you should definitely make use of it. Again, go within reason and do your best to assess the comfort level of each member in your support network. Don’t ask more of them than they’re willing to give (this is important; you mustn’t push anyone to do something they aren’t yet comfortable with) and be a positive presence throughout.

You’re clearly very intelligent and you’ve done a lot of research. Keep that up; the more you can supply as far as hard facts and solid research goes, the better you’ll be able to lead group discussions and, hopefully, broaden minds. Practice all the values you’re hoping to instill in your peers and do your best to refrain from anger or confrontation. Rather than telling your peers that they’re wrong to say the things they say, simply provide them with your balanced, carefully thought-out point of view (“This is just what *I* think.”) If they don’t feel as though you’re passing judgment on them, they’ll be more likely to listen.

Dear thankgodimgay:

I gather from your post that you are in the United States and most likely in a private Catholic school. Things are a little different up here in Canada, but my research about homophobia in Catholic schools shows that these schools operate very similarly no matter where they are in the world because of the unifying Catholic doctrine. As a lesbian who has both been a student and a teacher in various Canadian Catholic schools, I can empathize with your situation. What you are hoping to accomplish is both difficult and courageous. I am glad you have the support of your family and that you are considered an upstanding student at your school. These will help you. I agree with the first respondent that you will likely have to try to get your GSA going in your Catholic school under a different name, like the Diversity Club. Inform yourself of the legislation that governs the establishment of school clubs in your state. As you know, knowledge is power. Know your rights and proceed from there. In the meantime, here are 10 tips to help get you started:

1. Follow all school/district policies and guidelines
A GSA should be established in the same way that any other group in your school is formed. Check your student handbook or district policies to see what the school’s rules are for student groups. These rules may require you to seek the permission of a teacher and the school administration and enlist the support of other students. If you can, find lots of support and look for a diverse group of allies to help get you started.

2. Find a GSA advisor
Find a teacher, administrator or school staff member who would be willing to serve as a supportive ally for your group. If possible, try to include both LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ advisors in your group. Remember, diversity will be your group’s greatest strength.

3. Speak to your school administration
Encourage your school administration team to become your allies. School administrators can work with your GSA to help demonstrate that your group is a valued and important part of the school community. Administrators also serve as an important liaison between students, teachers, parents, school boards and the larger community. Be sure to include them in your planning. Remember, if you follow all the proper procedures, a school cannot turn down your request to start a GSA!

4. Inform school counsellors and other school resource people about your GSA
School resource workers, like police officers and school counsellors, will often know of students who might benefit from your school’s GSA. School counsellors, in particular, may be an important source of support for students who need professional support and guidance. School can be a lonely and difficult experience for all youth but especially for LGBTQ youth. Your GSA can help to make a difference!

5. Develop a mission or vision statement
A guiding core statement of beliefs can help to focus your group and, in turn, demonstrate how serious and important your GSA is to the school community. Organize your GSA’s goal and value statements to include principles related to diversity, human rights and social justice. Find out what your school’s or district’s educational priorities and goals are and demonstrate how your GSA helps to live them out.

6. Find a safe meeting place
Select a safe and comfortable location in your school that is relatively private. Remember that some students may feel uncomfortable and nervous when first attending meetings. Try to create an atmosphere that accommodates all individuals and comfort levels. Safety and confidentiality should always be the primary concerns of your GSA. Choosing a meeting place right next to where the high school football team hangs out may not be a good idea. Then, again, you could always invite them to attend!

7. Advertise your group
Work with your GSA advisor to discuss the best ways of advertising your GSA. Consider having a “poster party” to design flyers announcing your group’s meetings. Remember to emphasize that all students are encouraged to attend your GSA. After all, it is a gay and straight student alliance! If posters become defaced or torn down, don’t get discouraged. Work with your advisor to use this opportunity as a “teachable moment” to talk about discrimination. The simple presence of your group’s posters and the words lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-identified can send a powerful message of inclusion and help educate students and staff about the diversity in your school.

Simply putting up posters and giving the GSA some visibility may help many students begin to feel safer at school because they will know that they and/or their families and friends are recognized as important members of the school community. Some of these students might never attend your GSA, but be assured that they will know that there is a safe and supportive space for them should they ever need it.

Make sure your posters set a positive tone for your group. Include the meeting time, location and date. Think about including a small description about what goes on at your meetings and be sure to emphasize that everyone is welcome and that their confidentiality and safety are guaranteed. If your school has a web space for student groups, consider developing a website for your GSA and advertise the web link.

8. Schedule your first meeting
Select a meeting time that is convenient for most of your participants. Revisit the group’s mission statement and brainstorm possible activities and topics of discussion for future meetings. Some GSAs hold meetings weekly, others monthly. Determine what kind of schedule will work best for your group. If your GSA has a budget, don’t forget to bring snacks to your meetings. Everyone loves free food!

9. Establish clear guidelines
Think about establishing specific ground rules for group discussions that reaffirm responsible and respectful behaviours. Reinforce the importance of straight allies in your group and make an extra effort to make your GSA welcoming to trans-identified, two-spirit, and youth of colour and/or youth with differing abilities and ethnic and class backgrounds. In addition to creating a welcoming environment, work together to develop and establish a group philosophy or mini Charter of Rights and Freedoms (this is a Canadian Constitution — check for similar American legislation) that can be posted and/or read at the beginning of each meeting.

Keep a positive and supportive tone in your group meetings and remember to emphasize the importance of equal participation (by students and advisors), confidentiality, safety, and the right of individuals to make mistakes and learn from them. Be clear that gossip and labels have no place in your group.

10. Plan for the future
Work with your GSA to develop an action plan that will help to make your group an active and sustainable presence in your school. Your action plan might include long and short-range goals and priorities. Possible activities could include showing LGBTQ themed movies from the National Film Board of Canada (or other highly esteemed films from the United States or other parts of the world, remember they should be educational and indisputable as a resource appropriate in a school setting); hosting guest speakers; holding joint meetings and events with other school groups; writing articles for the school newspaper or website; networking with local LGBTQ community groups; doing web search on LGBTQ youth issues; suggesting potential LGBTQ student resources that your school library could purchase; creating bulletin board displays about LGBTQ history; starting an LGBTQ book club; inviting LGBTQ school alumni to speak to your group; and planning activities to celebrate such events as National Coming Out Day (October 11), the Day of Silence, the National Day Against Homophobia (the first Wednesday in June), the Transgender Day of Remembrance (in November) and your local city’s LGBTQ Pride Week. The possibilities are endless. Be creative and have fun! (these suggestions were taken from The Alberta Teachers’ Association website, you can easily find them again with a simple google search). Please feel free to contact me if you have further questions or worries.
Yours truly, Tonya Callaghan

Dear thankgodimgay:

I forgot to mention in my last post a couple of resources that might be of use to you. Here they are:

Bayly, M. J. (Ed.). (2007). Creating safe environments for LGBT students: A Catholic schools perspective. New York: Harrington Park Press.

Maher, M. (2001). Being gay and lesbian in a Catholic high school: Beyond the uniform. Binghamton, NY: Haworth.

These are both American resources and will be very applicable to your situation.

I also forgot to give you my e-mail address in case you feel you need to contact me. I can be reached at:

tcallaghan@oise.utoronto.ca

All the best to you. Remember, you are going very important work here. Get the support you need and soldier on!

Sincerely,

Tonya Callaghan