Confusing

Darling, does she know you’ve never kissed anyone? Or that you’ve never been with a girl? Has *she* ever kissed anyone? Because, frankly, all the inexperience between you might not be such a bad thing. Saying outright that you, too, have never done this before (been with a girl) might actually help her feel less nervous. If she has experience kissing (albeit with men), I can certainly understand your insecurity on that front (I never told the first girl I was with, who was already extremely experienced when I met her, that she was in fact my first ever).

Your confidence about your sexuality is probably quite intimidating to her, but she really does seem like you. It’s fantastic that you’ve talked about this enough to know that she wants you to make the first move. If you don’t think telling her about your own nervousness and inexperience will help counterbalance the fact that you’re out and she’s only just started questioning, then just swallow your fear and go for it! That’s really the best way to begin clearing up her uncertainty. She needs to know what it’s like to be with you in order to begin wondering if it might feel right in general. Thinking about you and being too scared to kiss you is probably tearing her up, and the longer you wait, the more likely it will be that she’ll call herself crazy and squash her feelings (at least, until the next fantastic girl comes along).

There are lots of websites out there with information on how to kiss someone for the first time (and how to kiss in general). It’s mostly directed at straight audiences, but just pretend you’re reading as a guy. Apparently, guys can be really, really horrible kissers, so reading the advice directed toward men who are trying to land women is actually pretty hilarious and super informative. Basically, as long as you avoid all the really bad kissing habits (bad breath, slobbering, aggressiveness, gaping lips) and start small (soft, gentle, closed mouth, not too wet!), giving her room to respond or pull away, you should be fine. There’s a lot of common sense and common courtesy involved (how would *you* like to be approached for a kiss?), and yours seems to be in fairly good supply.

I waited for my first girl to make the move and I actually really liked the way she approached me. We were sitting next to each other, there was a lull in conversation, and she leaned over and kissed my cheek. When I turned to look at her, she smiled rather impishly (sort of an “is this okay?”), I smiled back, she leaned in, I leaned in (super nervous, but trying not to let on that I had no idea what to do), and… well… it was fine! I can’t say I quite remember the very first kiss because it turned into a full-fledged make-out session, but it definitely started slowly and very gently. She gave me plenty of room to decide whether or not to stop (small, shorter kisses interspersed with rubbing noses and touching foreheads), and that sort of consideration ultimately convinced me to keep going. Also, if your girl has kissed someone before, she’ll know what to do when your lips hit hers and might be able to help show you what feels good (especially if she realizes that she’s into it). Be aware of her body language at all times and if she kisses back in a certain way, imitate it because that’s likely how she wants to be kissed.

The worst thing that can happen is that she decides girls really aren’t for her. In that case, it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel badly. That’s what questioning is about. She’s giving you opportunities, she’s open to an advance, and, honestly, she needs your help. Most importantly, you like her! You’ve really got nothing to lose. And if she’s never kissed anyone either, it might actually be a fun, highly educational, hilariously awkward adventure for the both of you. That seems pretty healthy to me.

Okay. Maybe others will post their own first kiss stories to give you range and ideas? Good luck, let us know how it goes, and just trust yourself, okay? Sometimes swallowing your own nervousness is simply what needs to be done. Like ripping off a bandage. And think about it this way: most people have *no idea* if the object of their affections wants to be kissed. You’ve got more than a clue. Stop flirting around the issue; kiss the girl already!