A Rock And A Hard Place..
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I’ve had thoughts about my sexuality and women for a couple of years now but I never really seriously considered the fact that I may be bisexual. I decided to wait until I’ve been in a semi-serious relationship, (not on purpose), for a little over a year with a man. Recently, I’ve seemed to develop feelings for a particular girl and I fantasize about having sex with her sometimes. At the same time, I feel that I am in love with my boyfriend. I’m just not sure if these sexual feelings are a manifestation of the lack of sexual satisfaction from my boyfriend. Intercourse with him is quite painful and I do not enjoy it at all. I do enjoy oral stimulation from him though. Oddly enough, I still find him physically attractive. This situation is very frustrating and confusing. I would love to explore my curiosity with females, but I’m afraid that it will only make my confusion worse. Also, I don’t want to lose my boyfriend because he’ll leave me if I do choose to experiment. I’m aware of how crazy this sounds, but I really need advice. I really appreciate your time if you’re reading this. Please feel free to reply.
PlanetSappho.com
Good day,
for whatever I have read and I understood, you have two different issues to think about: the one is about your relationship with your boyfriend and the other one is about your sexual preferences. Please, don’t confuse them. I am bisexual.
Sexual satisfaction is vital point for any relationship homosexual or heterosexual. If you have problem with it now in your relationship, it can be because of the specific sexual partner or it can be because you don’t like men eventually. It is something that you will find out…I don’t know what previous experiences you had. Now you have to focus in your relationship: the question is if you are happy with him and if it is enough for you whatever you take from this relationship. Having fantasies about another person (male or female) it is not definitely something “bad” or a sign that you have problem with your current partner. I know that it is fantastic when you have sex or better relationship with the same person for whom you had and have sexual fantasies. OK, this is probably the ideal…
The question or issue if you are bisexual, I would suggest you to discover it when you will be in love with a woman. Just be open and live it, but not press it. All is about feelings…it is not so technical the point. Probably, having some sexual experiments with women for me it would be the same having sexual experiments with men. For me all is about the person and not the person’s sex. Probably, you will find out that you are “more” lesbian…ok…but this does not mean that you will like the sex with any woman. It is the same with the heterosexual relationships. All of us we are different and ourselves are different with different lovers; it is something like chemistry.
Take your time and always ask yourself if you are happy with the person with whom you are – this is the point. Life is so short…we have to protect our happiness and not waste time …
Best wishes,
Mod
I can tell you this much a real lesbian would probably want someone that is going to be with her and her only like in anything. You need to take time to find yourself cause there are some that don’t want to play games,
my 2 cents – agrees w/ the first commentor – you have two issues. Sex shouldn’t be painful. Something’s not working there. Could be you like women, could be you’re bi but with the wrong guy, could be your’re straight but with the wrong guy. Could be you’re with the right guy but need to figure out what’s not working w/ the sex.
Take this next bit w/ a grain oh salt cuz it’s just my experience – Spent 5+ yrs w/ a guy with unenjoyable sex while I denied my sexuality. Breakup sucked on many levels but was something I should have done years earlier. I ended up on the lesbian end of the spectrum.