Who Am I?
Ok, I’m 14 years old. And I think I might be bi or gay, I don’t know but I have never been attracted to boys. Though I have dated 2 boys, I felt nothing toward them. When I kissed them, it was like kissing a wall. In fact, I think boys are kind of gross and not at all hot or cute or anything.
I think I might be bi or gay because I have these feelings toward some of my friends that are girls. I have had dreams about girls and I like those dreams a lot. I read and watch Yuri (girl-on-girl) and when I do I get aroused. I have tried talking to my mom about this but she just says I’m confused and that every girl at some point thinks their gay. But I’m not sure that’s the case. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried talking to my parents, my friends, and the counselor at school but they just told me it’s nothing, just a phase. I would like to try experimenting but I don’t know any girls that are bi or gay, only guys that are gay. So I guess what I’m asking is, is it really a phase?
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I don’t read anything that sounds like either one of you is unhappy...
There’s no need to second guess yourself.
You might be attracted to women for a year, 10 years, or the rest of your life. The important thing is to acknowledge those feelings and feel comfortable with them.
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things – thinking about it, talking about it (Even if people aren’t that receptive yet), and exploring your sexuality.
My advice would be to stay relaxed about it, see if there are any groups in your area for young LBGT people, look online for forums etc, and just let things happen. As long as you’re open to all the possibilities of who you are, you’ll find your way!
Also, although it’s crap for you, I think it’s natural for older people to suspect it of being a phase – it’s definitely not helpful or understanding or necessarily correct! – but a lot of girls do have crushes on women and then go on to be happily straight. You should ask them to not be so dismissive of your feelings, because – whether or not they last forever – they are real, and important to you.
good luck!
x
I told my mom when I was 15, she told me it was a phase. I’m now 39 and I’ve never been with a man.
It’s what is in your heart, your stomach, and your mind. Butterflies around girls is a great thing!
Go with the flow of your body.
hey its same with me im also 14 n i just told my parents a while ago that i was gay they think i might be in a phase i do have gay girl friends n guys friends and yea i can say that im sure im gay i mean ive never been with anyone but im sure im gay so if you think its not a phase then just do wat dawg said go with the flow of your body thats wat i do