Change

“That’s it,” Amy said. “We’re all packed and ready to go.”

I smiled as I watched her delicate figure come around from behind the car. This was the week we had been planning on for months – a camping trip with just us. Of course she didn’t know the main reason for my excitement. I was so ready for her to know how much I loved her, needed her. I had gone over in my mind so many times how I was going to tell her. This would be the perfect time to get away from distractions and finally tell her the truth I had been hiding for over three years.

I had loved my friend Amy since the age of 15, though hadn’t the guts to tell her. I hadn’t even gotten the courage to tell her I was a lesbian. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so decided to invite Amy on a week-long camping trip with just us. This was my chance to be true to myself and the girl I loved.

As Amy leaned against the car beside me, I couldn’t help but notice the way the sun shone on her hair. I longed to reach out and stroke it, feel its softness, but restrained myself as I had so many times before. Again I felt that dull pain of longing in my chest. I reassured myself that I could soon tell her the truth.

“Alright, let’s get in the car,” I said. And we were off, ready to enjoy our week of freedom. As she drove the first half of the trip, we talked. Not about anything in particular, just talked. When talking to her, I felt truly myself, even if I was hiding something from her.

 We arrived at the campground with plenty of time to set up camp before dark. As we were setting up camp, I noticed Amy seemed to touch me more often than usual, laying her hand on my shoulder or brushing me as she went past. Every time she touched me, it felt as though a warm spark flowed from the point of contact through my whole body. Could she know how she was making me feel? I wondered anxiously until nightfall.

That night was a half-moon, to me one of the most beautiful phases of the moon. That perfect balance of light and dark mesmerized me. It hung larger than usual, low above the trees. Along with the stars, there was plenty of light to show the way on our walk through the trees. Amy had been strangely quiet until then. We stopped when we reached a clearing with a large flat boulder in the center, perfect for sitting on.

This was it, I told myself, now or never. I wouldn’t get a chance better than this. I finally plucked up my courage and turned to look at Amy. I had planned out the perfect line.

“Amy,” I began, “I, um… have something to tell you.” So much for my perfect line, I thought. I felt the familiar heat of embarrassment rising.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I, um…I think I…love you…” I stuttered softly. I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. I prepared myself for the worst, but Amy said nothing.

Finally, the suspense, the terrified suspense, was too much. I broke down and started sobbing. I knew in my mind that she hated me now, that our friendship was ruined. I turned away, hiding my face in shame. Then, I felt a cool hand cautiously touch my shoulder. I turned around and saw Amy’s sky-blue eyes staring into mine. Then, the most amazing thing happened.

Amy leaned toward me, and as she opened her mouth to kiss mine, I heard her whisper, “I love you too.” Suddenly, our mouths touched. Tentatively at first, but soon our kiss gained intensity. I felt my tongue and hers explore each other’s mouths. My hand slowly reached up her back, and I felt hers on the back of my head. Our kiss finally broke.

I leaned back slowly, and notice that Amy’s eyes were wet with tears, as were mine. I gingerly wiped them off her cheek. When we both stopped crying, Amy asked me, “How long have you known?”

“I guess about three years,” I answered, slightly embarrassed.

“That long? I didn’t really know until about two months ago. Why didn’t you say something before now?”

“I was afraid to lose our friendship. I knew that our friendship was special, and I didn’t want to risk it, but I finally decided that if I let this go, I would never forgive myself,” I replied. Then I added, “If I had told you, what would you have said?”

Amy nodded, then said, “I think I’ve known longer than I’ve realized. I don’t think I really understood what my feelings meant until recently.”

After that, we lapsed into silence. We both sat there, drinking in the other’s presence. As I watched the starlight reflected in her eyes, I knew that after this our lives would be irrevocably changed. That night, we slept under the swirling stars in that clearing, with the half moon hanging above us.




Comments

ahhhh ^.^ that is sooo sweeet. I hope me and my friend turn out like dat( yea I love my friend,i don’t want to tell her,I guess our friendship means alot to me). congrats on da new gf =^.^=

I have not felt this jeoules in such a long time :) but I couldn’t be happier for you. Best wishes..

wow man that is totaly classic i hope nhe i know things are bound to work out for you guys i wish everyone had a chance to find love like that including me

Congrats! I wish I could meet the person I love more than anything just like you do. Best friend and lover? Isn’t that awesome! Wish you happiness!

Unfortunately, I made up this story. “Amy” doesn’t even know how I feel about her. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell her.

Nice post, nice blog, don’t normally comment but good work

tell her!

let her see the post :)


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