Confused about a Friend
So I have this co-worker, who also happens to be my friend. At work we barely talk and acknowledge each others existence. I try to talk to her, but she has this wall up and won’t relax around me like she does everyone else. Since she is a co-worker first and a friend second she doesn’t know that I like girls, I try to keep my professional and personal life different.
All this is fine and doesn’t really bother me, but what does bother me is that pretty much all of my co-workers (guys and girls) go out and party together on the weekends including her. When she goes out she is this totally different person! She is always hugging me, always wanting to walk arm and arm with me, giving me kisses on my cheek, dancing with me and telling people that we are together. After the night is over she will send me text messages saying that she had a good time followed by a kiss.
I never know what to think because there is drinking involved. I don’t know if she likes me and drinking lets her express that, because she has always said she is straight. Or if it’s just something she does and that’s how she is?
I’ve tried talking to her about it when she is sober, but I can barely even say hi to her before she shuts me down and walks away. When I try to talk to her when she has been drinking, she will say I don’t know her and try to distract me by ordering shots or dragging me onto the dance floor.
I mean what is a girl to do?
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hug
Based on just what you said, and this may or may not be the case, but it sounds like she might be gay and is trying to hide it. The alcohol lets her be herself and herself is someone who is gay and she knows you are gay (because she probably knows if you are okay with dancing with her and letting her kiss you and who knows she may have heard it through the work-vine) but it sounds like she hasnt come to terms with it or she is afraid to acknowledge it soberly. Or maybe she is just in an experimentation mode and is afraid that you will want something more. Its tricky, because she wont talk to you about it.
You can go with the flow and just be friendly with her on the drinking floor or you can tell her how you feel. If she wont talk to you, write her a letter. If she doesnt respond , you have to decide how much its worth it to you. Maybe hang back a little when you go out and dont let her be all into and over you so easily. She’ll wonder whats up with you and maybe you’ll talk.
It could be that she doesn’t want to face you when shes sober because she’s embarrassed. and or not sure how the two of you would handle each other in another different situation.
I agree a lot with the 1st comment.
good luck, I hope it works out.
good wishes,
courtcourt