Confused With Her Feelings…
Hi, I am a lesbian, and have been in a relationship for 5 years with my girlfriend. Last October I met a girl through work and she quickly became friends with me although I told her that I was gay. She invited me to her birthday after only 3 days of meeting me. We now are really close; she always tells me we are more than friends but less than lovers.
She has a boyfriend that she has never seen before, but chats to him on MSN and on the phone. She knows that I am in a strong relationship but she is always there, when we shop it’s like a couple arguing over what I should buy for my house. She comes to my house every other day; she always says that we are going to have sex (sorry for the language). She walks almost naked in front of me and waits for me to look at her. The way she looks at me is not like a friend would look at you. She always buys me things, for my birthday she sold her phone to buy me trainers that I told her I liked. She told me that if I was a boy she would marry me, or if I had I penis she would sleep with me.
She always plays with my hair, but I don’t understand if I am falling for her as well? I have her picture in my phone in my room on my wall… I buy her everything she likes, I cannot say no to her… we fight and she would call me back and talk as if we never argued. She always tells me that when she was younger she used to mess around with her friends, do things like kissing and touching each other… she always holds my hands or arm when we walk…
Can someone help me, and if you wonder where my girlfriend in all this is, she is in Canada, and should be coming soon…
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lol I can’t help but smile.
you have to know for a fact how you feel about your friend and your exact feelings for your girlfriend. Then decide on which you care for more. Even though you have been with your girlfriend for so long your feelings could have changed and you just haven’t realized it yet.
If you decide that you care more for your friend then randomly kiss her one time and see what goes from there.
If you decide on that you still have stronger feelings for your girlfriend then you have to make the move to stop seeing your friend so much and spend that extra time with your girlfriend…when she gets back of course.
You should figure this all out quick since you say she will be back soon.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
good wishes,
courtcourt
i don’t like the “if you were a man” or “if you had a penis”. That’s too much of a back down, she knows you aren’t gonna grown a penis anytime soon. So next time, joke, “well how about just how i am”
I agree with Leah. I think she likes you and would like to have something but she has that idea that you are a woman so it would never be something ‘real’. When she said she ‘messed around with her friends’ when younger, it’s so that idea straight ppl have that girls are just kidding, it’s not real, serious or mature, it’s incomplete because there is no man, no penis. I think she’s stuck at this conception. Now, you have to figure out if you really like her (and it seems to be so). Then, I think you should do something like Leah said. Tell her you’re not a man, you won’t grow a penis and even though it’s true she IS thinking about you in that (sexual) way, then say there’s nothing lacking in you and having no penis won’t be any problem and so on, that what matters is what she feels about you.
Good luck
Based on your description, this girl seems to be bi-curious and a bit of a tease.
Just do a quick comparison. You say you’ve been with your girlfriend for 5 years (lucky!). Do you really want to risk your relationship for a flirty “girl-friend” who could just be making a game out of trying to seduce you?
I suggest you confront your friend with the behaviors you described in this question, and ask her to clarify what she wants from this friendship. Is she using the fact that you’re gay to tease you in a way she couldn’t with a straight friend? She should have to explain the signals she’s been sending, instead of leaving you to figure it all out.
Good luck!