Please Help Me…
What determines your sexuality? I think my best friend is gay and has been in the closet for a long time. She and I recently started a relationship and about 4 weeks ago, we went to a hotel room and made love all night long. As we were lying in bed together, she tells me that she can not do this anymore. That she does not want to hurt me anymore. She says she loves me to death and would do anything for me, yet she doesn’t believe she is in love with me.
Anyways, she ended up going away for awhile, and I didn’t say goodbye, after two weeks, she sent me a message of how much she missed me… I told her that there was nothing to miss, and that really upset her, long story short, one minute she says one thing and the next she says something else. I am sooo confused… she says I drive her INSANE, and I do something to her, she has never been with any other women before nor have I. She has made it clear that she does not want to lose me as her good friend. But that is not enough for me, I want more from her and I know she is capable of giving me more.
She finally admitted that she is so scared, because if she allows herself to fall for me (I think she already is) that she doesn’t believe this could go anywhere. As our culture and religion does not allow it. I really love this person with all my heart. I don’t want to loose her, yet I want so much more from her… I don’t know what to do, every time we talk, we always end up crying and one or the other is really upset and therefore, the rollercoaster starts all over again.
Please help, I am so lost without her. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I just want to walk away from her completely and never look back, but I am so weak… please help me. What should I do? Should I leave her once and for all, or try to be patient? Unfortunately, I am not a very patient person.
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hug
Maybe you should just tell her how you feel. Tell her that you understand that she’s scared and you understand where she’s coming from… you understand where she’s coming from right? I mean if she’s still in the closet, she’s still coming to terms with her own sexuality. Obviously she is still trying to figure out what the deal is with her attraction to you. As you already know, being gay isn’t the easiest thing in the world and just because all the signs say that your girl is gay it doesn’t mean that she’s ready to acknowledge who she really is. Being in self-denial is a powerful and destructive thing. Just think about when you came out and how long it probably took you to come to terms with who you really are, don’t forget that she’s probably going through something similar except it’s all mixed up with feelings for you.
Maybe you should share with her what you’ve just shared on the Internet through this site? I know that’s incredibly scary, but you say that you love this girl right? So what are you doing asking us what to do? Go to her tell her everything that you are feeling and leave the ball in her court. Take the risk for the sake of your love for her.
And be patient, if you really love your bff, patience is a small thing to give. If you are looking for a long term relationship with her, what does it matter if she suddenly comes out of the closet today, or if she takes her time? What really matters is that you are there to support her.
First of all, I honestly don’t think religion should have anything to do with who you’re in love with. True love doesn’t have a religion. If you’re in love with someone, do what you have to do to make things work. I’m not saying that you should change your religion, but just to fight to change what your religion dictates. I’m sure that everyone in the world just wants people to be happy, and if that involves you in a same sex relationship, then so be it.