How Can I Fix This?
I feel in love with a friend of mine. I got this job as a clerk in a store, where I met her. I’m 16 and she’s 18 and a senior, I really fell for her but I did a stupid thing and know she doesn’t care. Throughout the year we became really close friends and she admitted to a friend while me standing next to her that she was bisexual, it came to me as a surprise because she had always talked about how hot guys were. I’m a lesbian, I’ve known since I was in middle school but she didn’t know.
I started to notice that she didn’t care for me or cared about anything all she would talk about was Texas how she was going there after high school, I felt like we weren’t going to get anywhere. I left her alone for a week to see if she would text me or showed she cared and wanted to hang out with me but she didn’t. A week later she met a new friend, just her type white, and blond. Next thing I know she’s having sleepovers with her new friend. That’s when I thought to myself I got to do something before I lose her for good.
I wanted to tell her in person but instead I wrote her a text, a text where I poured my heart out telling her that: I hope you’re still my friend at least after u read this but I just have to tell you cuz its one of the toughest things that some people can’t go on with there lives without saying. Two things, one I’m gay and have been way before I found out u were bi. Second I really like you, I know u like white blond chicks but I just had to let u know this. I was about to send it when I thought, I’m gonna ask her where she’s at. I saved the text I wrote and wrote a new one saying, are u in town? Reply: no I’m at C’s house. Why? C’s is the new friend I was talking about. I feel my cheeks warming up and my heart starts to feel like it was ripping apart. I simply said never mind. Now I see her and she’s all over her friend who is straight for sure but I’m just sad cuz I think now it’s too late and I hate that feeling that I lost something that could have been the best thing in my life.
Did I Really do this wrong, I deleted all the texts I saved from before and the one I poured my heart out on. I just can’t help the feeling of failure.
HURT AND CONFUSED
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I think we all make mistakes in our lives and miss out on “the one,” but the good thing is, you still know this girl and you still have a chance to make things right, or almost right. You already know she’s bisexual, but now you have to let it out that you’re also into girls as well. Who knows? Maybe she’s also into you but you just don’t know it. Someone has to make the first move, and it doesn’t seem like she’s the one to do it. We all want to feel wanted, so make her yours. If she says no, then you’ll just have to find another girl to get a crush on, right?
This can be really tough… But in case she DOES like you the way you like her, she’ll never know she has a chance if you don’t tell her you’re available and gay. Start there.
~Trish