Did I See This Coming?

wow, our stories stories sound EXACTLY the same besides the fact that i haven’t gotten with my crush…

anyway, i am kind of having the same questions. i’ve been doing a lot of reading on sites like this one and it seems that girls discover their sexuality at all different points in their lives. some people know since they were kids, and others don’t know til they’re older.

i mean, i never had crushes on girls when i was a kid, or had any signs like that from early on. and i still don’t know what that means. but, from reading other peoples’ accounts, it seems to happen that way sometimes.

so although i’m in the same situation… i think it is normal.

and congrats! it sounds like you’ve found a great girl

I didn’t realize until i was 38 that I was gay. For me, when the realization came to me it all made sense. You may not feel this way as you are relatively young. I am feminine, I was married, I was attracted to men however I always found women very interesting.

I have been in a relationship for nine years now and could not be more in love and like yours, it has been a bit of a roller coaster. I never felt the love that I feel now, even when I was married. I loved him but not as intensely. If this relationship or if being with women makes sense – and you are getting support from your family and friends, good for you. Just remember you deserve to be loved and to give love no matter whether it is a woman or man for that matter.

My experience is similar to yours and thus just like taipei’s.

Part of me feels like I’ve missed out and been so clueless on so much to not realise any of this until the age of 23, and it also makes me go, “Am I really gay? Maybe just bisexual…” since liking girls hadn’t occured to me until this point, but I have the same feeling about males as you. I just have to remind myself of all the women who marry men and have children and then realise they are gay. Thus, maybe it’s not so strange to realise at this point. Plus, there is the very real idea that sexuality is more fluid than people want to think.

However, I still don’t feel certain enough to say that I’m gay. Even typing that is hard, I’ve stuck with calling it ‘liking girls’. Maybe once I date someone I’ll feel more confident in it.

Its funny how u get a better understanding of your situation by hearing someone else say it… Thank you for writing this.  I finally get to answer the questions that have been going on in my own head for a while… I am 31 will be 32 years old and I myself have experience the EXACT same emotions and feelings you just expressed. So I guess this partially answers your question as well. NO, what you are feeling is not wrong or weird or different…EVERYONE COMES INTO THEM SELF IN THEIR OWN TIME…NOW IT IS YOUR TIME. You’re no less lesbian than any other lesbian out there. There are those who are more open and expressive with it. However, WE all have the same thing in common; we all appreciate being with and loving a woman over a man. I like you are very fem in a lot of ways, still love clothes and make up and I too have only been with one woman and still with that woman. I unlike you have lived a life with a man for 12 years, had children and embraced a heterosexual life that was “approved” by my family and friends before coming to the realization that I am soo attracted to women always have and will be. I felt the same as you, a man, even one that I loved, had never sexually satisfied me nor had I any deep “love emotional” attachments with him or any other man. I too still find men as attractive, but only to the eye. I don’t need to be with one, nor do I have the desire to have sex with them. I am good with just looking, nothing more. But women on the other hand, interest me…I love most everything about them, which is where my passion lies. Explaining why sex with a woman is so passionate, and enjoyable. So to better answer your question, it’s ok JUST being you, and you don’t need to b “labeled” as “gay” or “lesbian” to be so. Only you know who you are, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently. I don’t truly believe there’s such thing as a “degree” (amount) on being Gay. It seems pretty clean cut to me, either you like being with a woman everything including sex or you don’t… But on the other hand, I don’t believe people are truly walking around saying, “hey, I’m gayer than you” but if they are, ignore them, they just want attention…don’t give it to them. lol Just be who you are, and let the rest fall in place. You don’t want to be friends with people that are JUST gay right? You don’t want to walk around with a sign that says “HEY!! I’m GAY” lol embrace those who embrace you. You don’t have to “fit in” or be classified as… just be yourself…trust me, it works. You will never be everything everyone wants you to be so, just stay true to you!
I now have clarity and even a peace of mind just by reading and responding to your post, and I hope this brings you a little bit of peace and answered at least some of your questions as well. Enjoy your life, do what makes you happy, that’s all that matters. If you ever want to talk, you can email me. mssmb001@gmail.com

OMG I thought I was reading my own story. I too felt that distance whenever I was in an intimate relationship with a male. And now I’ve fallen hard for another woman. I’ve never experienced desire like this, and it’s overwhelming. I feel like I’ve been walking in a fog for the last 15 years.

So congratulations, and I wish you well. You’re an inspiration.