I’m Gay

Hi rye,

I’ve been watching your question with interest to see what people might say to you. I think it’s really interesting that no one has yet answered (including myself!) – I think we are nervous to answer because your question has so many complexities.

I don’t have an answer for you rye, because I live in a country where being gay can sometimes be difficult, and might present problems with family or friends, but these are all problems which can be overcome, and one can live happily, freely, out in the open. I don’t know if this is the case in your country and/or community.

There are, however, a couple of things I would say to you.

Firstly, you say that in your community being gay is wrong, and that you feel it is a sin. Perhaps it would help to keep in your mind that in other places and cultures being gay is not considered wrong or sinful at all. That way even if the world around you seems to judge you, you can know that there are millions of people around the world who think you are perfectly normal and not wrong at all. I am one of them.

Secondly, remember that you are still young – crushes like you describe are a very important and powerful part of development, and help us to figure out who and what we like, how it feels etc. Don’t be in a hurry to work things out or find a relationship or to fix your sexuality in one direction or another – it will happen naturally, and when it does it will be much less torturous than crushes can be!

Thirdly, study. Study hard! For one thing, while you are in education it is probably (hopefully!) considered normal to be single and the longer you are in education the longer you can spend time discovering yourself and what you want from life. And on the other side, if you are well educated you are in a better position to make decisions for yourself, support yourself, and travel the world (just as the girl from your school did) to find a more supportive community where you can be yourself.
Believe it or not, there are plenty of gay-Muslim communities out there who would welcome you and understand your struggle. Here are a couple of links which could be helpful:
http://www.al-jannah.co.uk/
http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/queermuslims/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1405460.stm

Good luck, and let us know how things go.
x

Hi

It’s late and I’m off to bed so this won’t be a long answer, just wanted to say that I’m a Catholic (Christian) and had to battle for a long time with the feeling that being lesbian was sinful. However, I have read and studied my scriptures and theological commentaries and have come to a decision that it’s not sinful. It’s just the way we are. Perhaps you need to find other Muslims who are gay? I found this link when I googled ‘Muslim and lesbian’

http://www.al-bab.com/arab/background/gay.htm

Perhaps there will be something helpful on there. I hope so.

Take care,

Englishrose

hey.
i feel the same way.
just so you know, my spm exam ended like a couple of days ago.
and im a muslim too.
i have had crushes on tons of girls, its not like i want to.
sometimes, i catch myself daydreaming about a certain girl. and its been bothering me ever since i realized that i am the way i am. my dad is super religious, that makes me a little bit religious too.
i definitely understand what you’re going through.

i am as much in the same position as you are now into. the only difference is i don’t easily fall with girls.in fact there’s only 2 of them i think i fell in love with. my present problem is this girl who is my best friend and who does not know i have feelings for her. but she already knew my past with another girl i fell in love with. yet i don’t think she considers that situation likely to happen again, especially if it’s dealing with her. and the bait is: she has just broken up with her lesbian girlfriend. this is sin if i jump to the opportunity. but i badly needher.she keeps me sleepless every night. help…

hi, im from uk, and muslim, im married with 2 kids{boys}.
i have never told any body about myself not even my best mates, internet is the only way to express my self/ why? cos u dont know me.

any way let me tell u some thing, a white girl used to fancy me in year 10 in school, she used to be funny and i liked her for that, but once i didnt see her she din’t come in school that day, i missed her but din’t think why etc thought it was normal. but then i started to fall in love with her u know what its been 12 years iv been loving her and she loves me to, the sad thing is im not going out with her, i dont know were she lives or were she is etc, we love each other so much and i cant live with out her,iv broke down so many times now im having problems with breaths, after 6 years my mum and dad wanted me to get married, i only wanted to marry her but how could i, i dint know were she was, so i did for the sake for them, i had two kids, wehen i was pregnat with second my husband who i call a dog now used to abuse me every day, i used to cry nearly 5-7 days a week, thats how bad it was, he said things like, uv got big tits like cows, ur fat, all swearing words,told me to die so he can marry someone else, every thing u cant imagine, i nearly cut my wrist with a knife!! thats how i was depressed, even now my tears are coming out, soz, my love of my dreams sarah loved me at that time i just thought of her face so i put the knife down,iv felt like killing him to just like he tried it on me.so i never have loved him since im there for the kids sake, but we fight and swear still, even he does in front of kids, iv told hime kids will learn that this is life,but it aint, i still love sarah and always will, wen i do like i have dreams of seing her i’l tell him to fuck off to his home country and i dont need the scum any more not even for the kids, sarah can be the dad,i could’nt love a boy any more,only sarah 4 ever just like its been 12 years, wow, girl love is strong