i had the same problem in high school. i came from a very small conservative school in the country. my graduating class was 39. so i understand. some of my friends found out and it was hard i didn’t want to go in to the girls locker room when there was people where there. it took me a long time to let people really know about me. but when i did i felt better inside. i don’t really know what to say i have never given advice about this before but i think you should do what you think is right for your self. if you boyfriend don’t like it well then he isn’t right for you anyways. besides how will you know if you really like girls it you never try. Im not saying that you have to make that decision now but its better sooner than later.
i hope i helped a little like i said this is my first time. good luck you’ll make the right decision for yourself. just think about it.

I’m sorry girls i know this is off topic but I have a question really quick I’m trying to post something & it’s my first Time doing it. It says pending. What does that even mean did it post or not? & if the pending is just a waiting process before the actual post then how long do I need to wait before it posts cuz I need advice SO bad. Please help. Please.

I def say you are atleast bi.. You should come out, either people will accept it or they won’t. It’s like a lot of things in line.. You’ll find out who
your true friends are. & as for your family I wouldn’t worry abt them too much because they will love you regardless. I hope this helps.

16– I think it can take a bit of time to get your question up.

To awkward– I have come to know that I’m gay just in the past year. It started with having a lot of questions, like yours, noticing who I was checking out, noticing that I seem awfully turned on by women for a “straight” person. Starting to notice that it seemed to be a recurrent pattern in my life that there was some woman that I was either hot for sexually, or really wanted to be sexually and emotionally intimate with. I had to understand that that wasn’t some “side” thing or a bothersome distraction from my “more important” relationship with a man– that actually it was something that had its own importance. The next step was being honest to the people around me about what I was experiencing, even my questioning and confusion, and seeing what happened. Honesty reveals a lot. It might reveal that your friends have compassion and toleration that you never imagined . . or it might make you realize that your doubts about them are painfully true. Or something in between. Either way it is good to get to the bottom of things. It moves things along so that you can actually start living in a way that is exciting to you. So then once I was honest, my relationships started rearranging on their own. My relationship with my husband and with certain friends fell apart and certain other friendships became closer. Then I decided that I would pursue women and I did . . and the first time I got together with a woman, I knew I am lesbian. Life is all of a sudden filled with a color and radiance that I never knew existed. I didn’t know what a straightjacket I had put myself in trying to be hetero until I stepped out of it. It’s a mind trip.

Don’t do like I did and wait until you get married to really start looking at this. It is no favor to a man, to be paired up with a woman who has doubts like these. We all deserve to have sweethearts who are just plain crazy about us. Take whatever steps you can towards authenticity. If you can’t come out all the way, then do what you can to move closer to that goal. In whatever way you can, take small steps to be more truthful and to live more deeply in accordance with your self. Unless you would experience serious and catastrophic consequences (abuse, being kicked out etc.) the time to start being truthful with yourself and others — as truthful as you can stand to be– is always now. And some people even suffer those painful consequences, in order to say what is true. The reason people are willing to suffer such things to say what is true is, in my opinion, because there is no pleasure that compares to really getting to be with who you want to be with. It’s hard to imagine when you’ve never had it but once you have . . there is just no comparison. It can all take time to figure out but just keep taking things step by step, always moving closer to what feels true, asking the questions that feel true, in whatever ways you can.

And if your friends dump you– you will find better friends. One thing I discovered is that there is a whole sub-world in my community I never knew existed because I wasn’t looking for it. Straight people don’t notice a lot of what is happening right in front of their eyes. Even if your community is very conservative, there may be little pockets of people you haven’t found yet, because you’re not out, where you would be able to feel really good and comfortable about yourself.

Hi, this is the admin,

@arugula rose: Tnx for stepping in.
@16andsuperlesbian: sorry for the wait, your question will be posted soon!

thank you arugula…I enjoy your posts and insight. A lot of what you say is exactly the way I feel and how my situation is. I’m not married yet, but I am in a long-term relationship with a man and we have been engaged for 2 years. I’m dragging my feet because of my questioning and haven’t had the courage to take the next step. Hearing others’ experiences does help. It’s comforting to know that not everyone figures this all out by the age of 16. I am 29 and realize that while it’s somewhat late, it’s not 65 either. Thanks.

Blah, that must pretty tough hiding who you are inside. I remember when I came out to my friends, it was less dificult for me because some of my friends where bi/lesbian themselves(: plus they loved med too much to stop being friends with me for being gay and I think you should tell your friends that your attractive too girls, if they love you and are your real friends then they won’t stop being friends with you for being who you are because that proves whom your real friends are. And hmm maybe you are bi, or maybe your just a lesbian I think coming out to parents is the hardest, so leave that for later, well it depends about how cool your parents are.