I Don’t Know What To Do
I have a girlfriend. We have an intense attraction for each other and we love each other… She’s bi and I’m lesbian. I’ve been with a few women but she has only had relationships with men. Now I have never had a problem with a girl and oral sex and orgasms… but she would rather use the vibrator. She says she loves it when I’m down there but when I am she likes to stop me and she wants me to use her vibrator… I don’t know, I just tried so many times and so many different ways, rough gentle fast slow wild controlled… She gives all the signs of loving it but I can’t get her to come and orgasm, only if I use the vibrator and my finger it works… I don’t know what to do, but it’s kind of drivig me crazy to know that I can’t get her to climax… and I’ve tried talking to her and asking her how she feels…
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I don’t read anything that sounds like either one of you is unhappy...
Hmmm maybe the vibrator is just what turns her on. have you tried using the vibrator for a bit and then taking it out right before and going back to oral or whatever? so that maybe she gets used to orgasming that way? just a suggestion. hope i was helpful.
First of all – you say “I can’t get her to come”, but the reality is that you ARE. You’re using a tool to get her to have an orgasm. A lot of jobs need tools! You wouldn’t get a nail in a wall without a hammer… Women’s bodies are all so different, that for some women, orgasms are very difficult to achieve, or their needs are so specific, and a tool is essential under any circumstances, to have an orgasm.
Having said that, I understand what you mean – it can frustrating when you have it in your mind that a particular mode of sex is better or more skilful or just more intimate. It’s something you need to talk about again with her – but don’t bring it up as something terrible, and don’t create negative feelings around using the vibrator, and don’t make her think you’re trying to take it off the menu, but instead bring it to the table as something positive and exciting – you want to give her new and different orgasms in many different ways AS WELL.
Many, many women just don’t get off from oral sex. For many reasons to do with friction, pressure, etc etc etc. If that’s the case for her, you need to listen, and incorporate oral as PART of sex, but not necessarily the grand finale! And she needs to trust you – perhaps she is being too focussed on the orgasm itself, which can make having a different type of orgasm more difficult. She needs to trust you, and relax herself into different types of sensation. And you need to trust her – that however she has an orgasm, she’s loving it, and loving you.
How aboutttt, using the viberator AND! Eating her out, at the same time :] or like finger her while licking her clitoris, and usse your free hand to play with her nipple, drive her crazy, I’m sure that would make her cum. ^_^ I wanna have sex now :/ lmao.
I like golddinger. Anyway most women are not accustom to men bringing them to oragasm so she may used to having to use the vibrator to finish what he may have started. Do not doubt your skills. Like they said earlier try diiferent things. Show her she can achieve orgasm without if she allows you too. Use it will u are licking her by placing it inside of her. Its so many different variations. Relax U still got it…