This post has already been read 414 times!
For starters, please excuse how long this story is going to be! I want to give a clear picture so there’s a better understanding for feedback purposes. At the beginning of the school year (Fall 09) I met this girl. I am 28 and a contract Physical Therapist for local school districts. Tiffany is 24 and a general education teacher. This was both our first year at the same school. The second I laid my eyes on her my gut shot to my throat. I knew I was going to fall hard for this girl if I ever worked up enough guts to actually get to know her. She was beautiful, smart, and charming. The first few weeks of school everyone fawned over her, but I, being shy and out of the loop with the general education teachers, stuck to my end of the building having my only contact with her when I needed to pull students from her class. After awhile, her emails back to me became longer and longer. At one point, she emailed me her number and told me to text her the next time I am doing something exciting on the weekend. I do consider myself bisexual but I have never opened up to anyone at work about it and at the beginning of this year I was dating a guy (who I stayed with until Jan 10).
During those months Tiffany and I really hit it off. Basically there was touching and flirting going on between us all the time. Even other coworkers commented about us “hanging out so much.” I actually became a “popular” teacher merely because everyone saw Tiffany investing so much interest in me. It’s important to note that during this time Tiffany was dating a lot of guys. She constantly broke up with them because they weren’t “good looking enough, rich enough, or they plain bored her.” But around Jan I broke up with my BF at the time and she decided to “take a time out from dating.” So by the time Feb started we were literally hanging with each other every weekend and several nights during the week. Drinks after work, dancing on Saturday, she crashed at my place pretty much every Saturday night for 3 months straight. She slept on the couch. During this time, we constantly texted during the day and nights we weren’t together. When she was drunk she would flirt with me by grinding on me while dancing, shooing away guys saying she was with me, touching me, etc. I never made a move because I hadn’t told her I was bi and frankly because we had become such good friends I was terrified of freaking her out. But it felt like she wanted something to happen between us. So middle of May it was just her and I one night. She had bought concert tickets for us and had planned this big dinner thing just the two of us. I found out from a mutual friend that my ex girlfriend was going to be at the concert. If my ex saw me with Tiffany, I KNEW she would say something rude to us. My ex would bank on the fact that I haven’t told Tiffany and would try to embarrass me. So I told Tiffany about my past and being bi in fair warning. She said how my happiness means the world to her and she’s so glad I opened up with her/etc. But, later that night she was completely different, she was distant, didn’t laugh as much, had nothing to say, and basically to me it looked like she was trying to show that she was hardcore straight by getting every guy in the place to dance on her. So anyways, she crashed that night but left the next morning before I could say anything.
The next two weeks she completely ignored me. Blew me off every way, no text messages, no calls, ignored me in the hallway. School ended. She was leaving for Florida with her BFF for her typical summer getaway trip. She had been ignoring me since the night I told her I was bi. I get that, but since I was losing her as a friend, I figured why not just tell her the truth…that over the past few months I had fallen head over heels for her?? So I did it, I wrote her a letter, drove to her place the night before she left and gave it to her. When I got there she hugged me, was all over me, and acted like we were best friends again. I handed her the letter and haven’t heard one thing from her in 3 weeks except one text that said “having the time of my life. Will be staying until August.”
So. My question is what’s my next step besides trying to forget her and move on? Clearly she isn’t in to me and I freaked her out. Basically…Iâ€™m heartbroken. I know I can’t force her to feel anything for me or to contact me or anything. I know I can’t text her or call her because the ball is in her court. I’m just….heartbroken. I lost my friend and Iâ€™m regretting that I told her my feelings. Has anyone else been in this position? I would have regretted not telling her just as much though.