Bit confused!
I’m 20 years old and currently single. Until a year and a half ago I was in a serious relationship with a guy for 3 years, which ended more or less when we both started university. Since then I haven’t had any other relationships, only a couple of one night stands (with guys).
I know for definite that I am not completely lesbian as I have had relationships with men in the past and am still attracted to men. However I think I might be bisexual. I think pretty much ever since I became sexually active I’ve thought about having sex with a woman and it’s something I regularly fantasize about; I even used to think about sex with women whilst sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, and I really want to be with a woman.
I have kissed girls before, but only in a stupid drunken ‘let’s kiss each other, this’ll be fun’ sort of way with friends (who are straight) when I was around 16/17.
The only reason I’m uncertain about this is that mainly when I think about this is it’s usually in a sexual way rather than a romantic way (if that makes sense) and I don’t know if maybe this is more just a sexual fantasy rather than me actually being bisexual. Having said that, I have on more than one occasion felt strongly attracted to girls I know, in the same way as I would be attracted to a guy I liked. I sort of feel like I want to just have sex with a girl to get it over with and see how I feel afterwards, to see if that makes things any clearer. I am really confused though.
To be honest, whilst I am really confused about this it’s not something that’s hugely bothering me as I know I would be completely comfortable with myself regardless of my sexuality, and I know that if I were to come out as bisexual my family and friends would all be supportive. At the same time I feel like if I were to explain to my friends how I’m feeling at the moment some of them might think that, as I am unsure and haven’t actually had a lesbian experience (other than kissing friends), that I’m just saying it for attention or something? I just hate this confusion because I feel as though I should know what I want and how I feel!
Sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense but any advice would be appreciated!
i also am in a moral dillemma….i always felt atracted to both men and women…i belive that if u have love to share with people…why to choose just one of the 2sexes?if i can share my love with both men and women..that s what i will do…
but…i am confused now…i just broke up with my boyfriend….in my life came a woman…she is some years older than me…and i love her…i wanna her…i think she feels the same…sometimes she says the same things with me…i love u i wanna u..these things..but…i am still soooo confused…i really wanna say face to face…heeeey i am in love with u…and i want u…but really i feel afraid and i am trying to keep my feelings hidden,i always knew though i am bi..but never said iti really lpove her,she is coming next week and gonna live in my house for 3 days……what should i do?
really…friends…tell me what should i do?
love u all
One of the reasons it took me so long to realize that i’m queer is because i had sexual feelings for women but never was really able to fall in love. I think because i didn’t know any lesbians so it was just never a possibility. I never was able to imagine a life with a woman also because of heterosexism. When i really fell in love *and* i had an opportunity to act, about 20 years of denial all started to crumble.
I don’t know. you could be bi or just lesbian or you could be a straight person who loves to fantasize about women. You don’t really need a label. it seems clear what you want. You said you want to be with a woman. I’d go out and see if you can get involved with a woman. I’m not sure about the ‘getting it over’ part . . don’t do it if it doesn’t sound like something *fun* that you *want* to do and spend some time doing . . but anyways. The reason to tell your friends is not just for emotional processing, it’s also that its a lot easier to get together with women if you are out. So it is in your interest that it be known in your circles that you are interested in women.
it’s totally normal that you don’t know what you want and how you feel, there are a lot of messages we get in all kinds of ways from society that are hard to figure out. Just take your time and take everything step by step and see what life brings! be honest and kind and bold each step of the way and you will work yourself towards what is true for you.