This is my first comment here, but I’ve been lurking for ages. I love this site.

I am finding the same thing. I want to meet people-both friends and potential dates and they all seem so young on the websites. Hell, 29 seems young, but I guess I’m ancient. I’m 41 and just now (finally) accepting and dealing with my lesbianism.

Good luck. And feel free to drop me a line. I love new penpals and I’m reasonably capable of carrying on a mature conversation!

Good luck.

Maybe it’s because all the women that age are in committed relationship. Or that by that age they decided to go straight and have kids. Or careers get in the way of socailizing. What happen to me is I have been in a relationship for 7yrs and life just is busy so if I have time for a social life I usually spend that time with my partner. Also in a relationship it is hard to meet new friends, which are seen as a threat to the relationship. Anyways What I think you should do is create a space/event for 30 something lesbians….like book club, running club, movie/ game night, social/volunteer club, sex club(just throwing that out there), or throw party. Good luck

No, you are not alone. I’m in my 60′s and have been wondering if women just grow out of lesbianism as they age??! Maybe a lot of them (older people, men and women) are just not comfortable using a computer. I have been on the lookout for anyone on this site in my age range and it just isn’t happening. And, like you, I don’t mean anything offensive. The concerns of older lesbians are just different than the younger set and it would be nice to have a few people who can relate to this.

Younger females have questions and post. Or they talk about movies, tv shows or what interest them. I think older women who comment are trying to be helpful to the younger ones. But that doesn’t mean older women can’t post what is on their minds.

crystal0941 said: “grow out of lesbianism as they age”

I can only laugh and shake my head at that because the day I stop being a lezbian is the day I’ll cease breathing and then it will not matter.

Have anyone seen the movie Jaguar and Ame. If so, do you remember the scene of the older woman being helped into or out of a car by a younger woman. The older woman is a lesbian and she definitely did not “grow out of lesbianism”. She was checking that younger woman out. Perked up didn’t she?

Okay, ladies, what do you want to talk about. The board is open. I’m not going to tell my age because I’m finally at an age where I stop telling it.

I hope others didn’t take that comment I made about growing out of lesbianism seriously. I’m old enough to know better. I was trying to be humorous.

Hi crystal. I got you. I put a smiley face winking at you. I’m not flirting.

I’m in southeast USA. Where are you? I’m all ears, talk.

One website I like is genderfork.com. I’m 33. It is still a young crowd but there is better age diversity than on a lot of other sites.

I definitely take exception to the ‘same old gay rights’ conversation part though! I will be having that conversation until the day I die! Gender equality is one of the most interesting things in the world to me and sometimes I get sad because it seems like many young people don’t care or are just banking on generational politics to get the job done.

Have you read the book Stone Butch Blues? It is a really great one that follows the narrator over a long span of life . . It’s a tough book but I really liked getting to look at the arc of her trajectory.

I wonder a lot about the lives of older lesbians and wish there were ways to see and know more about what it looks like to be queer in your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s . . .

This is also my first comment on here, but love the site. I am 41 and feel exactly the same way. I am married also (realized that I was gay at age 27 after we already had 2 children and had been married 6 years), and have finally gotten to the point that I have told my husband. (No, I don’t think I’m growing out of it, haha)So we are in the process of trying to deal with that and to decide how we should move forward (we are in counseling), and there are precious few resources or helpful advice for people in my situation. Although I have seen enough to realize that it is much more common than I would previously have thought.
But yes, I would love to see more out there for more mature lesbians. I feel that at different stages of life we are dealing with different issues. Although I will say that I have met a number of younger women with whom I connect well in regards to intersts, mindset, etc. Still I think it would be nice to not feel left out in regards to what is available in terms of online community and resources.
I’m also in the southeastern US and am happy to talk .

To Salty: I live in Michigan, Detroit area.

There’s one more thing to keep in mind though. Age doesn’t define who we are. So, many of the younger lesbians aren’t fitting in to what you describe and prefer more “mature” conversations (like myself) it’s just that it’s harder to find lesbians of the same interests.

This article is right on the mark and it appears to be written by a “younger” lesbian. I’m 58 and find I am now more attracted to women than I am men & being from the “love free” generation so I’ve been there done that with men. I haven’t had any sexual relationships with men or desire to have such with a man in a very long time (over 10 years). But I have absolutely no idea how to go about meeting women. As a teacher I work with lots of women but in my age bracket most have children and husbands….so not going to meet someone at work. I crack up when I hear “I didn’t realize I was gay until I was older ie my first woman-woman relationship was when I was 21/27″

btw I’m in southeast WI

It is harder for older lesbians to meet and click. Most of us have been through alot and really don’t have the patience for the things we went through in our earlier years. It seems that once you fully know yourself, you really don’t have patience for things or people who are not on the same page as you. I feel like thats one of the main reasons why its hard for older lesbians to meet and get to know one another. Having said that, it would be nice if there was a place for us, maybe more women will be at ease opening up in a space where the majority have some things in common. I will not give up looking.

I agree with all the post made so far. For me I get really frustrated because I am in a commited relationship and would love to have gay friends from all over. However it seems to me that all of the gay and lesbian sites I have visited its just people wanting to hook up or play games with each other. I have thought several times of trying to start a lesbian chat or forum but have always been afraid it would turn into a meat market. As an older lesbian I am not into the feminist fights and the parades and bars I did that when I first came out now I just want friends that just like to talk, laugh and cry with each other. I just don’t think there is a good outlet out there for that.

I liked hearing about Afterellen and genderfork. When I googled “older lesbians” in an effort to network with fully grown women for support, I found mostly porn. College girls kissing.
When we were in school, we met many, many girls in a week.
Now some of us have been in the same career for decades and don’t get that opportunity to meet hords of women.

Now I’m 46, and I see that sharing the path behind me will serve younger, and reading the stories of the women a few step ahead will serve me.

Thanks for you posts and responses.

I’ve been on the net since late 2007. When I first tried to find lesbian sites to talk to women I too came upon mostly porn sites. Now that I have a blog, I have links to several lesbian forums to make it easier for WWLW (women who love women) to find places with message boards.

I’ve never been to a chatroom. I am a member at only one site, although I feel like an TLQ member since I comment here often. I’m not good at officially joining anything so I’m glad that I can comment here at TLQ without officially joining.

I’m in southeast USA, never been married to a man, had 1 boyfriend for a short time when 19. If you are interested in more about me, you can visit my blog and read a few bits more. I don’t really have any lesbian or sexuality issues but do like reading about what other women are dealing with and just talking about anything.

What happened, where did the older lesbians go? I thought you had things you wanted to say?

Lots of very interesting responses.

I am fifty-two and in a long term relationshiop but would also like to meet other women for friendship. I agree this seems quite difficult to achieve and maybe the point raised
“it is hard to meet new friends, which are seen as a threat to the relationship” has some impact. Particularly if you be-friend a single female. I have witnessed quite alot of flirting and “game playing”

I’m single but I’m not after anybody’s woman. I’m still mending and not fully ready to even start dating again. I don’t fool around with women who are in relationships. This part of TLQ is a message board not a dating site. If people want to talk privately to individuals I think that is possible but I only use this message board to talk to people. As I said, I don’t have issues concerning my sexuality, etc, but I’m here to listen to whatever anyone has to say. I’m over 45 and that’s all I’m going to say about my age. It’s floating around somewhere at another site. HA! I’ve given a little background on myself already. So who will start a new thread or continue here and tell us what’s on your mind?

Admittedly, this is my first post on this website, but the topic was of great interest to me. While I have to admit that I’m young, my partner isn’t. She’s 52 and I worry that since she’s been with me, she’s lost touch with her older lesbian friends. We’ve been together for nearly nine months, and in that time, she has spent more time with my friends than she has with her own. It worries me because of the age difference between us (I’m 19 and she’s 52); I feel like the more time she spends with my friends, the more alienated she feels. I know she does it because she wants to spend more time with me, but I feel like she’s selling herself and her social life short. Any suggestions ladies?

Hi I’m adding a related question I have posted myself (hopefully in the right place?)

I would be considered an “older” lesbian (early fifties) but people seem surprised when I tell them. I work out alot at the gym, and am generally in good shape. I meet women at the gym and connect just as friends, as I am in a long term
relationship. My dilema is the women I meet and connect with are always alot younger than me. I am not sure what the protocol is with age? The age difference can be as much as twenty years, is this okay, unhealthy, or should I cut ties with any women who are not at least in their forties? Am I doing young women a great injustice, can women enjoy friendships of any age or am I just yearning for my youth?

Any thoughts?

Speaking as “the older woman” even if I was to say the age gap is not an issue, there has to be some reflective moments about this for the older woman. Sorry in advance to “older women” but generally so many woman of our age (not all) seem to accept middle age and drift into some kind of “middle age” persona. Vibrant young women come along and “sweep you off your feet” (so to speak) and this can be very attractive and alluring. But feelings of conflict can come with this, leaving mixed emotions about being “age different” and let’s face it the fear of looking older (there I’ve said it). I guess what I am saying is there are so many reasons why an older woman may feel the need to over compensate by seeing more of your friends, than her own. I agree the risk is “loosing a sense of self” for the older woman if she has stopped seeing her own friends. Is this the case, has she lost touch with them or does she need reassurance from you that, if she does spend time away from you, you will you still be around? I guess the underlying (unconscious) question could be why is she interested in me? Why are you interested in someone more than thirty years older than you?

Women of any age can be friends, and there should be no problem at all if you’re already in a stable long-term relationship. I spend as much time as I can with my partners friends (who are her age) and we get along perfectly well. Could it be that you’re just worried that you’ll find yourself attracted to them?

Well so far the age gap hasn’t been an issue (except she said once “I remember where I was when Elvis died” and I replied with a naïve “who?”)- granted we run up against issues together like me feeling like she’s ‘mommying’ me, but we move past that pretty fast. She doesn’t seem to have an issue with the way she looks; (we’re the pretty obvious butch/femme relationship) she wears her shorts & long sleeve, while I wear my skirts and heels and it doesn’t seem to faze her. I love her and I don’t want her to forget about her friends or lose who she is in all of the “Young adult estrogen” that she forces herself to be around. It’s not that she never sees them, but it’s significantly less than before we became an official couple. That is a good question, I tell her all the time she has nothing to worry about, that I’m not going anywhere (because I’m truly not). Oh man… what brought us together is a freakishly long story: suffice it to say we were coworkers when we first met, and we went on a few dinner ‘dates’ and eventually started dating in earnest. She and I have the same interests (save for one or two, but every relationship has that), we are both really bookish in spite of our appearances; she has the same sense of humor that I do and we work well together.. it’s a healthy relationship for both of us, and we try really hard to keep it that way.

It’s good to have a young perspective, maybe I have to address my own feelings that emerge when I am around certain young women and equally question how I feel about my partner being around young, single, gay women (she incidently has no issues with age difference) With that in mind how do you feel about your partner becoming close friends with your friends?

I think it would make things easier for both of us if she did; however, my friends (being close to my age) are comparatively immature and incredibly superficial. My only hesitation with her spending time with my friends (besides losing touch with her own) is that her self-image, and how she thinks I think of her, might be negatively effected. But on the flip side of that coin, when we first started dating, she did tell me that she “didn’t want to spend the time and energy to bridge the age gap with my friends”; admittedly, that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but we’ve moved past it.

I need to ask, has your partner given you any indication that she is affected by the lack of time she spends with her own friends, or people of her own age? I am aware of that many women need a sense of separateness due to the “merging” that happens between women. Unlike hetro couples that have very obvious differences. Is it at all possible that it affects you more than her…….?

She never says anything directly- so I can really only infer. It is entirely possible that I’m totally misinterpreting it or just worrying for nothing; I just worry. It doesn’t really bother me that she spends time with my friends, I like that she’s trying.

Worrying so much will eat you up eventually, so you will need to try and talk to her about how you feel. Be sure to understand and be clear what your own motivation is about before doing so though.

I just wanted to ask if you had any further thoughts on this? Also I am still unable to get my head around why you are attracted to someone so much older than you? Just for my benefit, I would really appreciate it if you could exlain this to me,

I would also be interested in hearing what other women feel about this?

For misti . . I think talking about things like this is always the best way forwards. There is no one right answer, everyone is different. I think if you are feeling concerned about this on her behalf then you can tell her about it and give it an opportunity to either a) see that you’re right and there is a problem or b) be reassured by her that she can take care of things or c) some combination of the two. Really she is the only one who can speak for herself.

I will say that if your friends are immature, and you are worried about that affecting her, it seems like something worth taking direct action about. My GF has friends who say things that really upset me sometimes. When she, on her own initiative, acts in a way to change the dynamic of the situation or otherwise intervenes in a way that is more wholesome, it really makes me love her. It can be as simple as, if they say something immature, making sure you say “I don’t agree.”

To Angel .. my best friend is twenty years older then me, and we’ve been friends for twenty years. I think the gap in life experience would have been too much for us to overcome in terms of dating when we first met, but now that I’m a lot older I can easily imagine dating someone twenty years older than me. It’s nice to go through life stages with your partner at the same time, but people are people, and love connections don’t really follow a lot of rules. I think if people are behaving towards each other with honesty, personal respect, and kindness, then there’s not a whole lot else that matters or that anyone else should have to say about it. Me and my BF have definitely encountered crap from other people but we have a very well-grounded confidence in our own experience that protects us from their interpretations or misinterpretations.

Many thanks for you thoughtful comments they have been really helpful to me.

i think your kinda misguided with youth, (im 18 btw) god ur onli 29 and u sound older, there is plenty ov ways ta meet older woman all my gfs have been older apart from my first when i was 13, im sure if an 18 year old can find sum1 30+ then there shouldnt b a problem for you, also us young ones dont always talk about t.v and drinkin we can be very mature when we wanna b lol x

I am 57 and lost my partner to pancreatic cancer 17 months ago. I am still struggling to redefine myself without her. I am not interested in a relationship at this time but would be nice to talk with someone. Very much like the previous messages I read, I am so much more than a label. I love music, history, poetry to name a few. It would be nice to have an intelligent discussion with a mature person. I don’t do gay bars and am not involved in the lifestyle. I never had to be, she was my everything. Life goes on.

I’m 21 years old and I love dating older women… its something about older women that attracts me to them…. I’m not a regular 21 year old because I don’t drink or go to bars. I like to have actual conversations about different types of things other than t.v. music and what not. I’m more attracted to older women than women my age and I have always been like that.

I’m not sure where you can meet older lesbians, however, I don’t know how valid your other complaints are. Is it such a horrible thing to talk about pop culture, pop music, tv, clubbing/bar scenes, gay rights, and other “usual” topics”? I’m sure that’s not 100% of what people talk about.

How much effort do you make in bringing up topics that YOU care about? You listed so many things that you’re sick of people talking about, but you didn’t mention anything that you wish to talk about instead. I have a hard time believing that the things you enjoy talking about is that much more interesting than what most people talk about. I mean, what else is there to talk about? More hobbies? Everyone talks about hobbies. Life goals and aspirations? The news? Having children? Work? The future? What exactly are you looking to talk about? Religion?

I think your main (and maybe only) issue is the age thing. I don’t think talking about gay rights is “immature,” especially if the people you’re talking to are doing something about it.

And I don’t think liking Lady Gaga over someone like Jimi Hendrix makes a person less mature. I think liking music that isn’t as popular, as spoken about, or/and music that is much older gives the impression that the person has more depth. That isn’t necessarily true though. Music is a subjective thing. It’s hard to objectively state that one artist is better than another. It’s like comparing Picasso to Rockwell.

Knowing that someone is older than you automatically gives you the impression that they are more mature. Maybe you just have a perception of younger people that you can’t get over. It’s hard to take people seriously when they’re considerably younger than you. I know that I couldn’t take an 18 year old seriously no matter how mature and wise she might be.

It’s not really your fault. That’s just how people are. Just be aware that maybe you’re a little biased so you might be making things harder on yourself by limiting your options. You can talk about just about anything to just about anyone. It’s up to you to push the normal boundaries of conversations and to shape friendships into something that’s more fitting to you. It might not work for everyone, but most people want to talk about those things that people don’t usually talk about.

- My 2¢

While I am partnered, I am a 44 year old lesbian therapist working almost exclusively with LGBT folks and I have been struggling for the last decade to find ways to connect my 40+ women with friends, and in some cases potential partners. That’s why I created theLcafe.com – this site is populated primarily by 30-60+ women and the bulk seem to be in their 40′s and 50′s. If you are looking for a connection with mature women this is worth a shot – http://www.thelcafe.com.

I am 49 years old, getting ready to hit that big 5,0, I feel like I am just growing up. I always knew that I was more attracted to women than men, but when a woman looks into my eyes, I felt like I was doing something wrong. I always hated that feeling, I have been struggling with the way I was raised instead of just going with my true feelings. I need to learn to let that go and be happy for once. All the male relationships that I had in the past never worked, I never have been satisfied in any of the relationships. To much damage by boys and men when I was younger and I never trusted men. My relationship with women are so beautiful! I hope someday I have a real relationship with a woman that I can spend my life with.

Growing up in the 70′s as a young woman, I was lead by my family’s traditional values, my estrogen, and my desire to have children. I married and divorced two men, after having children with them. I never was interested in sex with them, and they weren’t exactly fun as friends. In my late 30′s, I met a man, who was so gentle and sweet, and I guess I was in my prime, sexually. We were best friends.
After he died, unexpectedly, 14 years later of a heart attack, I was left alone at 54. My kids were all grown. I tried dating men after a couple years went by, but I never felt any connection and no sexual feelings at all. I figured I was still grieving or post menopause made me lack libido. However, I had several straight girl friends, in their 50′s also. We always went out dancing. While they were still looking for Mr. Right, I just enjoyed their company and liked dancing with them. So, I decided that maybe I was merely taking the pressure off myself not to find a man, and I still got to have a good time going out.
It’s going on 5 years since my significant other died. I am still not feeling men. However, lately, as more and more of my girl friends find men, I end up lonely. I can not get myself to want to try to find a man to date.
My sister, who has always been a lesbian, told me recently, that she has always felt I was really a lesbian. She observed I never liked being with a manly man, and that my last soul mate and partner was actually effeminate.
I don’t know about exploring another part of my sexuality. I feel totally non sexual, but I do “self pleasure” myself fairly regularly.
Am I attracted to women? (Aren’t all women attracted to women?)Of course, I am. But are older lesbians(post menopausal)in a relationship for love and companionship? I am open to being in love again. However, I need to know so much more about their sexual relationship. So many straight post menopausal women, I know, too, don’t even care that they don’t have a sex life. Many are married, and they just want their vaginas left alone. They still like the cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. Maybe their older husbands don’t do that with them except as foreplay?
I appreciate your feed back.

Telling secrets, gentle kisses, getting honest, cuddling, spooning in my sleep, nibbles on the ear and chills down the spine, being loved, being in love, caressing with a gentle touch, tingling through out the body, gradually grasping tighter, deep tongue kisses starting from the lips down to the lips, one on one, always looking out after the others best interest, knowing I am loved and knowing she is loved by no one better than me…. These are things that run through my mind during my loneliness and thoughts of being with a woman. The only time I experienced any of this is in my mind with a woman. No man has ever given me this before. I stopped having sex with a man about a year ago, and am open to meeting women. A women will give me what she wants me to give her, and I will give her everything I can. Emotional things are so much more from a woman, and I love the emotions that I have for women.

So, I know this was posted nearly a year ago but it came up on the sidebar and I read it and I think I may have a suggestion. Have you tried meetup.com? It’s not a dating site, it’s a place for people with similar interests who live in a certain area to get together. In my area there are a couple of lesbian groups but if you live in a bigger/more populated area than I do you’ll probably have better luck. It’s like clubs for the real world, like there’s German club and French club but not for teenagers and high school kids.

I too hope there are older lesbians out there with whom to speak because I also love older women. Good luck!

Hello all,

If anyone feels like sharing their experiences of being an older lesbian, I’m currently interviewing lesbian and bi women of different ages for a feature in g3 magazine… I’d really like to chat to a few more women over 60.

If you or anyone you know thinks they may be interested, please drop me a line at charlotte@g3mag.co.uk

–
Charlotte Dingle

Editor

g3 magazine

Stonewall Publication of the Year 2009/10

charlotte@g3mag.co.uk
t: 020 7258 1777
m: 07949270272

g3 magazine
Square Peg Media Ltd
37 Ivor Place
London
NW1 6EA

I’m glad I discovered this site. I’m a 57 yo woman who was out in the 70-80′s, but my desire to be connected to my culture lead me to marry and have children. Now I’ve decided to embrace who I really am and I’m at a loss to meet older women. Additionally, I’m femme (old school talk) and I’m interested in groups that support who I am in totality. If someone is aware of an online group, please post.

I am 38 and falling hard for a 61 year old-she looks a lot younger. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if she is open to a relationship with a woman and she doesn’t know that I’m gay yet and we’ve been friends for 7 months. I feel like it’s time to come out to her but I’m afraid. I don’t want to scare her and I couldn’t stand to lose the friendship. I can’t figure out the right time just to come out and then see what her reaction is to that. Then I will maybe know how she feels. I get the vibe a lot that she may be interested but I’m afraid.

Indie Rose- nothing wrong with seeing if another woman might suit you? I always find it sort of sweet whenever newly “out” or curious women panic at the thought of how/what sex with a woman will be like? All I can tell you, no- assure you, is that it will be fantastic, hot, and so much easier than you can imagine (compared to the kind of “fear-factor” I have heard when women expose their first times w/men (ick).

RE: age differences. Younger aged partner thinks older, older partner thinks younger= just fine. I personally am just turned 50- but I truly feel & think I’m somewhere in my 30′s…so, I tend to look more towards that age group.

That being said, and referring to my previous bit- I was involved with a woman who was half my age at one time- & it was awesome. We ended up splitting- but it wasn’t due to the age issue at all…

hope this helps? Oh, you might also want to join pinksofa.com It’s a good meet/date/chat sight.

I’m in my 60s and agree with the poster about being impatient not being on the same page with people. I have a lesbian friend 7 years older who just turned 73 and sees as women and as gay in the time period of our lives even she and I are in different generations because things changed so much and so fast. I’m also finding many older lesbians including one of my Xs are not interested in “dating” ( a word of newer generations)cuz enough pain, been there done that its over. I’ve found women-oriented women available on free OKcupid.com who are available for other communication than sex. It is not only a sex site.

I’m a 45 year old lesbian. I’m married to a wonderful 37 year old woman. I have a 16 year old son from a previous straight marriage who spends most of his time with my wife and I. Our life is busy so we don’t spend much time online. I do have an LGBT book blog – http://www.shellysbookstore.com (shameless plug) – where I review books and media for all ages and, sometimes, rant about something LGBT related that’s on my mind.

My wife and I do have lesbian friends but most of them tend to be mid-20 somethings (many of whom she coached back when they were playing high school softball). Their lives are very different from ours and sometimes they just don’t mesh well. They like to hang out in bars and most still play ball. We hang out occasionally or catch a game once in awhile and we meet some people that way but they do still trend younger. We can’t and don’t want to spend all of our free time in bars and on the diamond.

I think, as we age that we start to settle and focus more on home, family and career and not so much on socializing and activism and all of the things that had us out there meeting people in our 20s. We do meet a lot of straight people in our daily travels who are open minded and accepting and who do extend the hand of friendship. Sure, we’d like to meet more people like us, but we just don’t go out of our way to do it.

I am in a dilema here, i like either very much older women ot very much younger, when i was 16 i used to date a 52 year old and that was the best relationship i had, i still keep in touch with her but not dating any older women, i am datiing a 17 year old and she is great! i dont know why i dont like girls my age!

I agree we need aplace for us mature women to meet all the site ive been to are30 + under too Ild love to find any mature women to chat w/ go out whatever im in orlando fl

How refreshing to find this site! I am 60 years old and I came out at 55. Heaven knows I knew I was a lesbian for years prior (or maybe, I told myself, I was merely bisexual…), but there was the husband, the 3 kids, the career, the community, etc. etc. It wasn’t until I turned 50 that I began to come to grips with who I really am–and always have been. Thank goddess it is never too late!!

I have been fortunate to meet a great number of OWLS (Older Wiser Lesbians) and they are a tremendous support and resource.

If I can support any of you who are younger, or not quite out there yet, I would be happy to do so, either here or on my website. It really never is too late to celebrate life. Emile Zola, French novelist, said it best: “I am here to live out loud!”

hey sister were out here as you see by the many comments even months later you didnt have an email address so i couldnt get to ya this is my 1st time here so maybe i just dont know how to get to itim alittle older than you i find the same true for me on linemy email,patt.adkins@yahoo.com

i was cruising the net regarding info on older lesbians anfound this site. i have to agree that there is little out there. not into the bar scene and i still have a child at home. finally have embraced my sexuality and considering separating from spouse of 30 yrs. nice to know that i am not alone in this. i so admire the younger women who are empowered in this generation to have come out. wish i would have had the guts to do it in my youth.

Hello, A Different Breed–

Yes…it is a daunting prospect…I came out at 55. Waited until my last child was graduating from University, then left my husband. The world did not shift on its axis, though I was sure it would! My children, all three of them, told me they wished I had had the guts to be authentic earlier. My unhappiness was apparent to them, but they didn’t know WHY I was unhappy. My husband…well, that’s a much longer story. Be brave. Be bold. Be real. You don’t get a second chance. This is it. Go for it. Write me, if you want or need support.
Elizabeth

HI,,IM 46 PUERTORICAN LADY…QUESTION Y IT IT SO HARD IN MEETING OLDER LESBIANS 50 PLUS?

I’m 27, I’m seriously interested in a a 41 year old woman… I want to make that clear to her, but i don’t want her to turn me down based on my age. I’m very mature for my age, I’ve got my life together. Age is just a number. How do I approach this situation?

Great question Rensational…hope I can add some insight as well as get some opinions from you all?

First, here is a pretty popular site (especially in Australia- but it’s world-wide): pinksofa.com
Lesbian/bi’s of all ages.

As to age differences in relationships- I came out at 46 & began a LDR with a woman of 23. She was mature for her age & I am a juvenile in my mind- lol. Anyway, didn’t work out for us, but not because of age…I think age isn’t an issue while both are healthy- may become an issue for some in later years as one must care for the other (only assuming a large age gap) and may cause regret that the younger partner has some years left & they will be spent as a caregiver vs. what they were used to before? My disclaimer is that obviously this is only one opinion (based on my experiences & the conversations I’ve had with friends about this topic).

I’m now about to begin another R/L- this time the woman is 8 years older. She has expressed concern that as I have only been with younger women, I might not be as comfortable with someone older (or even my own age). I don’t think I have a “type”- but I’m worried what she’s saying could be true. We are meeting for the 1st time soon & now I’m getting a bit nervous…Should I be? I mean, we talk for hours, laugh our heads off, she is attractive & intelligent…I guess one issue I have is her seeming to be so infatuated with me (yes, we met online & her 1st time doing so). I keep trying to make sure she’s aware it may all be about her non-experience with how internet RL’s can be so intense, but not sure she can understand that yet…

Anyway- anyone here who can speak to this I’d love some feedback?

Cheers!

hi tracy, i’m 6oyrs old, sexy, independent, still like to party have fun and travel. don’t know why folks gay and straight seem to think life is dull and over when u reach ur golden yrs. life is and will always be what u make out it, and the decisions u make. i think u shouldn’t be nervous unless what she’s thinking is vitually true. you are more comfortable w/ younger women. maybe a little soul searching is what u need?

Hi Christy,

Well, she was here for seven weeks & just went home 12 days ago. Totally smitten with me & I just didn’t end up feeling that “spark” for her that I had hoped I would…As much as she maintained she would be ok as friends if that’s all there was, she is shattered that I don’t feel the same for her as she does for me…I’m now trying to smooth hurt feelings- even though I was up-front the whole time…sigh…

As far as “soul-searching” goes- oh boy, I do a lot of that actually…I really don’t think I have a type or age of woman in mind- just that they are comfortable in themselves & take pride in their own care…other than that, I’m easy.

Thanks for the reply,

T

Soul searching… oh yes. And, it never really ends, the search to know oneself, to be clear. I’ve recently been beating myself up a bit because I didn’t ‘come out’ until age 50…

I talk about it, a bit, in an interview I did with a site, lesbiandating.net.

Here’s the interview link, if anyone is interested:
http://www.lesbiandating.net/blog/2011/interview-with-author-elizabeth-worley/

There are times when I wonder how I could have made the compromises I did, lied to others (and myself) for as long as I did. I would like to hear from others who came out later in life about this. Elizabeth

hi to all. my name is christy. i currently relocated back to atl to support and take care of my adult son. with God’s grace, family support, and prayers, he’s made a full recovery. oddly enough, i had just ended a “five yr” relationship before i got the news. umph. the Lord move in mysterious ways. even at this age in my life, it never ceases to amaze me how some things happen for a reason. i can tell u my coming out was from the very beginning. i’m one of those born this way. from day one its always been about the “ladies”.so speaking from experience, i would to say to Tracy: listen, u told her from day one right, she was there for weeks right. i would say if there was any intimacy involve during her visit. wrong move. to me with women u can be either friends, lovers, or what we call back in the day,”bump buddies”. but if u didn’ feel what she felt, and if she was attaching, u have to put a stop to it then. she obvious care for you, so it’s gonna be hard for her. but it’ll hurt more if it goes any other way. to elizabeth, the important is u did it girl, now u can move on. the ones who knows now if they truly love you, it doesn’t even matter. the ones that got hurt. continue to reach out to them if u love them, who knows, something good might come out of it. and finally to ms kim, beg ur pardon, u still party, get in line girl, it ain’t over, until God saids it over. i can still get it on the dance floor. love it, always have, and always will. party on.

Rensational, Thank you for this post!! If it wasn’t for you, most of us would still been asking the same question. It is harder to find people 30+. (And I am sick and tired of the porn that pops-up every time you type lesbian).I’m in my mid 30′s, Love women, had down low relationships and finally (fully)came out of my cramped moldy closet. (The best feeling in the world). I think the problem is we don’t know where to go to find each other. I want to be surrounded by my lesbian community day and night. But I do believe I will fight for our rights ’till the day I die. I just want to have a nice conversation maybe a debate about life’s lessons and the beauty that we saw in our struggle for peace of mind. I really miss true friendships (I guess it wasn’t so true if I was still in my closet).
Ms Christy Givens, My thoughts exactly!
To my Beautiful Lesbian Community we have here, Thank you for sharing your thoughts (it reassures me I’m not alone).

hi T.T., thanx for the comment. unfortunately, there’s lowdown relationships on both sides of the fence. at one time in my life i imagine being w/ women would be simplier,easier, because we both want the same thing. to be treated w/ respect, dignity, and true love. unlike being in a heterosexual relationship. but slowly the realy truth came out. gay or straight i think some people have no earthly idea what being in love is really all about. i don’t think the problem is we don’t know where to find each other, i think it’s we don’t know what to do w/ each other once we do find someone. firs comes attraction, then inticmacy, then it’s like any meny miny moe. the struggle for peace of mind is very evasive. just when u think u’re found the love of ur life, sometimes it just slips away. people break up and still in love w/ other. such a waste. as a whole i think folks need to know the real definition of love. and the best one i ever heard and base my relationships with is: “LOVE IS A CONDITION IN WHICH YOUR PARTNER’S HAPPINESS IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR OWN.” when both involve feel this way, to me, it’ll be everlasting.

“Bump-buddies”- kk…I understand but never thought of it until all I’d been through here w/a partner who held my & my children’s futures in her hand…(immigration)

For me- never thought of it. But, as I did try to explain my reservations…who knows?

T
Be real, be aware, be true….

C. Givens, I like your definition of true love. But I think we hold on to the past so tight that we stop looking forward. One day when we let go of the “what could have been” we start living and we let someone love us back.

I know this post was made quite a while ago, but I just joined and read it now . I have to agree, there are many sites out there that have the young lesbians. I have no issue with that as I feel they need to talk to someone and get advice.
I have searched and tried a few dating sites and chat rooms, but they are flooded with with younger crowds. I don’t mind answering questions and being a sounding post at all, but it would benice to have mature convo every now and then.
Anyway, that’s my input lol. Hope maybe to meet a few friends on here. Until then take care of you.

Hi RB~

Guess the best thing would be if this site started a chat forum for members? A thought that keeps us here & chatting…

T

Tracy that would be wonderful wouldn’t it? It would be refreshing to be able to meet others that are like minded and always willing to speak freely. I guess this method will have to do for now

It isn’t all that unusual or difficult to implement…I mean, I know a site called “shybi.com” that uses a chat within the site for members…Wonder if the mods here could do the same? Seems a shame that there are posts like these, women who’d like to chat, but can’t? Silly, really?

Well, I’m 59 years old, and looking for friendship for now, possibly leading to more later.

If any of you would like to contact me, I’d love to get to know you:

contact@diana-elaine.com

Hope this was all right mods, perhaps more could do this?

Diana

I think the issue is that when you publicly post your email account, you stand the chance of getting spammed at least & attracting unpleasant weirdo’s, at worst…

Were there a way here to join into a closed group and exchange emails that way- I think it would be well received…It’s definitely possible- as I was a member of such a site. The site was also non-subscription (non-paying) so it mustn’t be expensive to do (the site accepted donations).

am 20 n i thought when u a grown up its easy to meet lesbian frnds am shockd u hav the same trabl as us yang ladies .#wsh i ws strayt i’d hav any guy i like mxm#dnt mind me dats wat i said wen i ws 7 n scared #wsh i ws a grown up cz dn i wudnt b so scared#suprise evr1 is scared am scared to evn admit i am atractd to oldr women o0 dd i say dat . .nwy we teens too cn act matured

I wish for once I could meet that someone right here in my own town… but atlast noone comes to mind… i left the mountains for the city lights and found it dull and uninviting… I’m an older Les and just would love to have the same age lover.. or 2 years younger… but I’ve learned alot growing up, and in this day and age.. One needs to know what they like and dont like.. so I say to whom ever is reading this… would u like to meet someone like me… I know Iknow… need to say a bit more… but to know me is to call me 805 416 9661 there its out, Im pretty tired of trying… So i give my number freely to those of u who would love to take a chance Im a black woman lost of pounds

Hi girls… I hate to intrude as I suppose I’m categorized into the ‘young immature people’ but uhh, I have a real problem that has nothing to do with relationships or love or anything. I figured since many of you have been openly lesbian/bi for decades or years to say the least you may be able to help me out with this?

I’m only 16 (as of today actually), and I came out in August of 2010. I absolutely love being a lesbian, no clue why :p But at the same time I’m not too happy with it. First off, I don’t like the term ‘lesbian’. It may be because so many people at my school use it offensively that I too have come to think of it as ‘bad’, like someone calling you a fag. I really don’t enjoy being ashamed of the very thing I am, this site has helped me but it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Most importantly though; I basically exclaim to the world about my sexuality because I don’t care when it comes to my friends, or people my age. However, I get so embarrassed talking about it to people older than me. It’s like I’m letting them down or something… Which may have to do with my christian background as being gay is not accepted. Now I don’t know if these feelings will pass as I start to accept myself more and not care about other people’s thoughts beliefs, or if it’s something I’ll have to work on…

Hope I’m not being a pain, It’s just extremely bothersome because I’m angry for being embarrassed about this. Any advice would be great if y’all don’t mind!

Hi Min,

How you I.D. yourself is entirely up to you. I know many women who moved through the different labels there are to take on. You’ll also run into those who abhor any label & they rant about it- but still, the fact is that you do have to distinguish yourself in some way from straight or hetero…I consider myself lesbian & I don’t have an issue with that word- I sometimes refer to myself as gay or gueer, as well. The word “dyke” is generally fine amongst other lesbians- not so much coming from the hets.

As far as your own comfort level being challenged at the term, “lesbian”- then yeah, I think it’s something that you learn to embrace, in time. And it very well has to do w/your background & with the anti-gay sentiment in general.

I guess all I can say is that how you project & carry yourself whilst claiming your I.D. has more to do with it than anything else. You have nothing to be ashamed of and everything to stand up for…

Cheers! Oh, and happy birthday!

Well… I suppose I’ll just keep my head high and prove all these straighties wrong! Thanks for the help I think finding this website will really help me along. Dyke is offensive though isn’t it…?

Haha thanks

Hey Min,

Coming out takes a while. You may feel you’re “out”- but truth is, until you’re called to defend it- you won’t know what out is. I don’t mean in a club, I mean when it counts…

Hope you have a great life, starting early & all. Read the first women who fought the good fight & learn from them.

T

i am mid twenties and i wanna meet older lesbian..how do i meet them?

sory,another teen interupting you all. I’m 14. I thought i am Bisexual,but i was reading stuff on here and I decided to rethink over everything and I might actually be a lesbian but I don’t know,I know i’m either Bi or a lesbian because i’m not straight. Then I thought maybe i would just revisit all these thoughts in a few years. I’m not sure. Any advice?

~Raven

Susan: you can use meeting/dating sites like pinksofa.com or lesbotronic.com, etc….Try local LGBT sites to see what’s on in your area for events, if you like the club scene- go out & mingle. In the meantime, read & post here?

Raven: there’s no reason to worry about slapping a label on yourself so soon. It’ll take time, but eventually you’ll find what best suits you. Things can be a bit confusing, at best, in puberty…take your time & don’t stress, k?

Thank you now i think i’ll just let this go back to being mostly older people..lol.
~Raven

Hey R~

Don’t discount us older les, eh?

You may find (reading between the lines) a lot of info you might find empowering? Don’t take it all on as important- trust your own gut? But good, none-the-less…

Be safe

Thanks again,I’ll just not worry about it for now. I alread have the fact that my grades slipped a bunch this school year to worry about because of me worrying and stuff about this too much..

already*

Ramblings from the Mountain blog, by an OWL in Panama.

Sex Fantasies: What Flavor are you?

Boy I’m looking for a mature lady fem only because I’m very butch and have no luck finding someone ….u can contact me here our my email address it is gentlebutch41@aim.com if you’d like telephone is 210-589-1900

Hmm, how come nobody responded to Taresa? I am in a similar situation, well a little more complicated… I am 28, have feelings for a 40 woman, she is still hung up on her ex of 10yrs and a lover. I am in a 7yr relationship with another 28 yr old (my closest age gap every) but I really want to pursue this older lady, don’t want to scare her away though as I know we both have a lot of healing to do from past. She has been a friend and confident, but how do I take it to the next level? I think of her constantly and want to contact her just as much, but have been doing my best not too… gone a whole 8 days so far!

Any advise appreciated <3

“I’m 27, I’m seriously interested in a a 41 year old woman… I want to make that clear to her, but i don’t want her to turn me down based on my age. I’m very mature for my age, I’ve got my life together. Age is just a number. How do I approach this situation?” from Taresa

Hi Bex, I actually did reply to this. Unfortunately, with so little to go on & the fact that there was no follow up, it sort of ended on the one post.

As for your query- I see a whole lot of complications there, truthfully. Both of you involved with someone else is the biggest issue (I see). The age difference isn’t a problem unless it is for her. My advice? Just tell her you’ve been thinking about her & that if it’s ever a possibility, this is what you’d like to pursue. Done. If she’s a good friend, as you say, she won’t run off.

Tracy

im 48 was married 25 years adult child of 26. i have always suspected i was gay. ive had a number of attractions to women but never acted on them. single now and have no interest in starting up with a man. problem is i dont where to begin when it comes to meeting women furthermore no one nos i have these feelings and wouldnt want to be out.

I’m so glad to have stumbled across this thread.
It is empowering and encouraging to hear stories
of success (and sometimes not so successful stories)
from a more varied group of women than what can
usually be seen on similar forums.

Hearing the perspectives of older women who are still
vibrant and excited about life and exploring the depths
of their sexuality is a great comfort to me. I like the
semblance of reassurance that it is possible to hold
on to what is generally considered a “youthful”
curiosity and wonder about intimacy
in relationships and sex, regardless of natural age.

That truly admirable quality is actually, in a round about
way, what brought me to this site and this particular
comment thread.
For about a year and a half now I have been so blindly
and faithfully in love with a woman 30 years my senior.
I’m still hopeful (most days) that my feelings toward her
are not unrequited, but the circumstance of our meeting
and original relationship are such that she could not
safely and clearly discuss with me any prospect of
romantic involvement.

The obvious conflict between us now should be a nonissue
in the very near future, but instead of only feeling
excited and anxious about the time to come, I’m
beginning to worry that her hesitance to have a personal
relationship with me may be more than just professional
ethics.

Our age difference is not a problem for me in the least.
Actually quite the opposite, I find her wisdom and
experiences enlightening and exciting. Every time I see her
I leave wanting to know more and more about her life.
She embodies feminine strength and success; she is the
ideal of the kind of woman I wish to someday be.

In that last statement lies my true fear about her feelings
of our age difference. I do not want her to feel burdened
by having to wait for me to “grow up” or that she has
to take care of me or parent me in any way, that is
not what I want from her. Unfortunately I’m just not
convinced that she will ever be able to see me as a
woman, and a sexual being, and not as a child.

I know she also has a son and that he is only maybe
4-5 years younger than me. I really can’t imagine
how that factors into her considerations of me, or
in any relationship for her, but I have to think it
probably does not work in my favor.

I’ll try not to ramble on and on about her, after all
that’s why I have a journal, but the situation is
confusing at the best of times and I don’t really
feel like I have anyone to confide in or seek advice
from.

I guess what I’m wondering now ( or at least what’s
relevant to this forum) is more how I can reassure her
if it comes around that my age, or her’s, is troublesome.
I have no idea what I could say to her besides just that
I love her and want her to always be in my life. But she
is so independent and self-aware, I don’t actually know
that that statement would be a reassurance.

I would do very nearly anything for this woman, and her
friendship is the most important thing to me. Although
my current aim is at pursuing an intimate relationship
with her, I would change course immediately if I thought
my advances would prevent her from being able to be my
friend (assuming the advances were/are unwelcome.)

I know that’s all a little vague and scattered, so I’m not even
sure what kind of feedback I’m hoping for. I’m just finding
these final few months to be an unbearable test of my
patience, which is honestly wearing very thin.

A thousand THANK YOU’s to anyone who actually made it through
all that. Any comments/questions/advice would be welcome and appreciated.

To crystal0941
I read your comment at the beginning of this blog and agree with you how hard it is to find older lesbians to connect with. I’m 59 and live in the Detroit Michigan area. I am also looking for conversation from ladies that are at least close in my age group. So if you are still here please respond and maybe there is hope for us after all. lol

I’m a 30 something looking for love. I am not open as I live in a small town in the south. I am looking for love and someone who understands my career goals.

But it seems like I can’t meet anyone like that. It’s hard where I live. I feel as though my life is against me right now and I don’t know how to deal with it.

Connie

Hey there JagoLa,

Okay- first off, you’ve omitted your respective ages. Age matters whether you wish it didn’t or not. A 20 yr. gap is a lot, 30 is a whole lot. It doesn’t really pertain to how the two of you “might” interact, as much as it does become painfully apparent that the two of you share no common past. If you don’t get why that would be important- then you’ll definitely suffer because of it.

On to your description of the two of you. It nearly sounds like she was a superior- perhaps in an employment situation? Being vague about your circumstance makes it difficult to offer clear advice/opinions. You do not ever speak of her feelings- as in, all of this is wishful thinking on your part? Again, without details there’s no way to know. If this entire thing is a fantasy only in your head- then I’d say to drop it now. Cherish the friendship & leave it there.

I know you want everyone to come out of the woodwork to say something like, “love is ageless & age doesn’t matter”…and it can be true- sometimes- just not often (or, I should clarify that I know more of these arrangements failing than succeeding).

Lastly- it does matter the initial ages you meet up- with regards to an age gap. 13 & 33? No way. 23 & 43? Might work. 40 & 70? 70 would not saddle the younger partner to becoming a caretaker, 40 will eventually resent this role, too. With a 30 year gap, you will have nothing in common except for whatever you both happen to be interested in right now. Attraction is fine- but a relationship is made up of a lot more than that.

I’m speaking from experience- my own, as well as other couples I’ve known. I had only 23 years age difference (I was older) & it eventually ended for us because (amongst other things) it became too hard trying to ignore all that we couldn’t share, if that makes sense?

I wish you well. This is only one woman’s take & your life could be an exception to what I’ve lived & witnessed- who knows?

Take care, T

“I’m a 30 something looking for love. I am not open as I live in a small town in the south. I am looking for love and someone who understands my career goals.

But it seems like I can’t meet anyone like that. It’s hard where I live. I feel as though my life is against me right now and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Hi Connie,

Your answer is easy- move. Your life isn’t against you- you just have to take control of it & start making decisions that will change what you’re experiencing right now.

I did this- at a time in my life when most people are well & truly set & settled…only, I came out, divorced, & moved (to another country, actually). Even though my circumstances for doing so are different, knowing what I know now I do not hesitate to say that this is a very good option for you. At 30- wow, awesome to be that young & single & able to go wherever the wind blows you!

Start looking online & see what area of your country interests you. If you don’t see anything great there, then look at moving to another country for a while. Believe it or not, people do this all of the time.

Anywho- that’s my humble opinion. T

Hi everyone Iam 25yrs and in a lesbian relationship of 3 years with a 22yr old. We have recently had a baby through ivf. Me being the birth mum. Our relationship was good in the first year and then it started to fall apart. My partner decided to quit her job and left me to pay for all the treatments, my surgery for endometriosis and all our other expenses. I was working full time through my whole pregnancy while she stayed at home and slept all day. I used to come home to a filthy mess. She also doesnt know how to be romantic and make love to me properly. I have to teach her everything. The problem is i have always been attracted to older women double my age. I have fallen for my ivf doctor and she is married with kids. She is the most beautiful feminine women i have ever met. She would say things to me like she was flirting with me and my partner would leave furious at her. I really want to be with an older women whether its her or not. iam not sexually attracted to young women my age.

I want to know if older women around the age of 50 would be attracted to a young feminine women with a baby?? Iam really worried about this because i have always wanted to be with an older women they are beautiful.

Thanx

I want to to thank you for this good read!! I certainly loved every
little bit of it. I have you book marked to check out new stuff you postÂ…

Hi Ladies,

I am 51 and have just been through a bad breakup with someone 14 years younger than me. When we met, she knew I was really more interested in dating people around my own age, but she…well not exactly lied…but led me to believe she was a little older than she really turned out to be.

We knew each other for a couple of years before I really fell in love with her. I was always worried to let myself “fall” for a couple of reasons. First, the age difference, and knowing her own mom died at a young age, I was worried she might be looking for a mother figure instead of an equal partner.

Second, she is so insecure in her own self, I was just afraid that would turn out to be a problem for me in the long run. There was a natural imbalance of life experience and just…how do I say this? I was older and more financially settled and just able to afford more extras, like vacations and a nice apartment and a new car…stuff like that. It wasn’t that I wasn’t willing to share everything…I was. But I think her insecurity about everything made her feel inferior to me because I was constantly the one to pay for things. *I* thought I was being generous and giving, but she took it as me rubbing it in her face that she wasn’t able to afford those things.

Anyway, it really did all come back to bite me. Now, eight years later, she really resents me and doesn’t admit that I treated her like a princess, because my being giving added up to a bad thing in her mind. She has also now told me that the age difference does matter now to her, that she has changed her mind, and while it didn’t matter at first, now it has become an issue.

You know, I feel like a woman hits 50 and that’s just a badge of being aged. It doesn’t matter that I can outdo her at the gym or that I still get carded. It’s the number…it’s a psychological thing. And it’s when we started having real problems. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence, but I can’t help but think there is something to it.

I realize this is just my experience and others with that age difference are perfectly capable of having a good relationship. But I don’t think…for me personally…I would go into another relationship with a woman that much younger than me again for fear of the same thing happening.

I also really worry that I’ll never even find someone again. Like, I invested the best years of my life into loving her and now I don’t feel like I have a chance. I’ve been on lots of dates, even dated a couple of people for a few weeks at a time. But those just fizzle out because I am just not getting any kind of spark from anyone. I usually drive home crying that I want my gf back…sigh. It’s been a really tough year and a half. Thanks for indulging me on that last bit

Hey Ladies-

It is nice to see a conversation with older lesbians. It is good to see so many around. I am married and live in a rural area. Besides my wife, I don’t get to see alot of other gay people. This thread is awesome.

Watercolorsand- I am sorry to read that your miss your exe. Breakups are hard at any time or any age. Just try to keep your spirits up and know that there is someone out there for you.

Jagola-
If I wasn’t married, I could see having a romp with someone 30 years my junior. Who knows? It would probably be alot of fun. But a relationship with 30 year age difference. No way! I think you would run out of things to talk about. Just my humble opinion.

I’m a 60 year old lesbian having issues in the love department. I have searched all over for the right woman but I seem to have no luck. Are they to set in there ways not to get on a computer and look for love as I do or what. Well I’m putting myself out there so if there are any femme lesbian women out there id love to hear from you.

my comment is i am like angel 1234 and i am much older than anyone..even my friends thought i was joking when applying to reenter competition as a swimmer after an absence of many years…i train hard and my trainer says it is obvious that i was a athlete..and still am ….so, i would like to know where are the older women ?..and i seem to attact very young but mature women and they are ok with being friends..we tend to talk of philosphy and reading, watching fine foreign films… and being very adventuresome and fun loving..which is my nature. so, is this a problem and how do people handle this…sometimes I have to say to my students..i am old enough to be your grand mother ( when they really annoy me) and it stops them dead in their tracks….LOL! I feel a little pervy at this…but enjoy their honesty a lot…oh yes, teen aged boys and married men love me too..oh yes, i m in the middle of the spectrum….i do not like roles and the game playing!

I found this site today while I was looking for older lesbians to talk to online. I have recently been going through a rough time and just need someone to talk to who would be able to share a different perspective and maybe share experiences. I am 49 about to turn 50 I have been in a relationship for 13 years and currently having some second thoughts about my life.

I am 67, have been a widow for 1.5 years. I wish to connect with women who are within 5 years of me. I was married for ten years, single for 10 years, then lesbian relationships of 20 and 8 years. I am retired, with 4 grand children, 2 cats and 1 dog. In many ways my life is complete. Yet, I yearn for close lesbian friends who are not coupled. Last January I was invited to a party, gladly accepted, and found when I arrived that all were coupled and most all were a decade younger.
Z

I was in a relationship that had no intimacy. I’m in my 60′s, so if you think you have a rough time walk in my shoes for a couple of years. I get plenty of sex talk and that’s not what I’m about. Usually the young girls think they have great bod’s and they do, but that’s not what I’m looking for.

Hi Dana,
You are far from being alone. Sometime I hope we can have a chat. Sharonh@centurylink.net

To all the Lesbians here, drop me a line and maybe we can chat with one another. Send me an email, and I will send you mine or vise versa.
You decide. I wasn’t allowed any friends for about 13 years. I really could use some friends.
Blueeyes

I’ll be back tomorow night
Have a wonderful evening.

If you think you’re having problems try being a lesbian age 50 and over. We have the most active yahoo discussion group for lesbians in this age group, called LesRenegades50. A place to meet like minded mature lesbians who want to share ideas, make friends, and meet women in a forum that is not a dating site. Check us out at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LesRenegades50!
g.marie
site owner
LesRenegades50

I’m 51, from San Francisco, and visiting family in Orlando for the holidays. I was hoping to escape one evening and connect with older lesbians, but can’t find anything that seems to bring together the lesbian community except for bars that cater to the 20 somethings. Any advice or where to go to hang out and have a drink? Thanks!

Hey – what a cool site this is! I found it as I continue to hunt places to link women to our new site cafe luna rosa dot net. WOOT – Will post link to this site, as proper thank you for letting me post mine here as well. I am 55 – so I am lovin’ this topic! I created the cafe bec I too tired of toom many unsavory sites – guys making fake profiles, spammers, too many women with closed, biting attitudes rather than open, welcoming friendliness. So come on over to our site, won’t you? So far, we have all ages, yet I am definitely site Elder! And I am single btw – to those out there around my age, who are also single! ~Thanks for being here peeps! =D

P.S. Forgot a couple of things & see no way to delete my first post. Lol.

1 = I offer up my emphatic “YES!” re I am also NOT having any luck, anywhere out there yet, insofar as meeting lesbian women in my age group!

2 = Forgot to put my link to our lovely social site!

http://cafelunarosa.net

*waves to everyone* =D

Hey, this seems like a really awesome site.
Anyways, not to butt into the conversation, but I think i need some guidance on some issues. I’ve tried getting help other places, but no one seems to listen. Usually they say I’m going through a phase (which idk, i might be) but I feel quite strongly about this.
I’m young. I’ll admit that, sometimes, I’m stupid. But I think that sexuality isn’t something that you can just toss aside. So, lately, I’ve been thinking more about girls. And, I feel okay about that. But I’m not sure. I’ve never dated a girl (mostly because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the answer.Of the ridicule. And I shouldn’t be; but how can I just stop feeling that way?) but on the other hand, when i had a boyfriend, it wasn’t….I can’t explain. I guess it just didn’t feel right. For me.
So I would really love some advice. And someone to talk to. All I get is horny 20 year olds wanting sex, not love. I don’t want that. I just need, a friend, a potential lover, perhaps.
I sound really naive, don’t I?
-Toria

Hi,
I’m a 56 yr. lesbian with a 57 yr. lesbian. Been together somewhat for 17yrs. Before you congratulate me, let’s not. I’m tired of her riding my coat tail. You sits around waiting on me to provide or another family member. And her entire family is like this. I’m tired and want out. We still live together along with her grown son and his girl. I wasn’t raised to be mean or ruthless to people, but enough is enough. I need suggestions, how to end this and possibly remain friends. She can’t survive without my help, but I am tired of supporting her when she can get out and find work like everyone else.

Hi! all, I am a 36 year old cute butch lesbian looking for some new friends online. I would love to hear from you all. I am in the uk and would love to chat to anyone, give us a line an i will reply back x

Hey Buggs-

That is too bad! I am going thru divorce right now. We were together for almost 11 years. Yes, I was the breadwinner and a very good wife. I did most of the cooking and alot of the cleaning! I am so glad and relieved to be out of it! There is some sadness too! But mostly, I am happy to move on! I like being alone more then being miserable!

Take Care and let yourself be happy by moving on! Life is too short.

I have been looking for a site like this for a long time. I am so very happy to have finally found one. I am 57 years old love both fem’s and Butch I guess I just love women. I’m pretty shy about meeting new people and thought that this might be a good place to start.

Hello to everyone out there.