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I have a friend, we are so very close with each other and i know her for almost 4 years. She’s straight.
Well, i don’t know if i am a lesbian or straight or bi. I’m attracted to men but i’m really confused if i am really attracted to women too.
Maybe I’m a lesbian because i love her so much. I always want to be with her. Or maybe we are just too close that’s why i have feelings for her and i love her as a best friend.
But she’s acting weird lately because:
1. She always wants to hold hands with me.
2. She wants to be beside me in our class and cuddling me.
3. She’s always staring at me and when i caught her looking, she always throws her stare in another direction.
4. She always kisses me on my cheeks though she didn’t do it with any other friends (though its normal in other countries, but not here).
5. Always wants to hug me.
6. Her picture profile is with me but not with her boyfriend (yes, she has a boyfriend)
7. And mostly, when we are in the retreat house for recollection, we did activities like group sharing but i’m not in a group with her so we talk about it later in our room.
When i asked her,”What did you confess?”. And then she said “Why should I confess about being a boy? I’m not a boy.” (sounds like too defensive). And then I told her that, “I didn’t tell that you should confess about being a boy, I asked you if you confess your true feelings?” and then she changed the subject.
My other friends always tell me that i’m a lesbian because we are too close with each other but she is the one who is sweet and clingy with me. Maybe they suspect me because i don’t have a boyfriend in this time and she already has a boyfriend.
What test should i do to know if she’s really a lesbian or bi?
I don’t want to confront her because i’m not really sure if it is only my imagination and i don’t want to lose our friendship because of that.
If she is really a lesbian, then i’ll accept it because i love her.
If not, then it is ok, too.
Hope you can help, thank you.
Sorry for bad English. I’m Asian.