So I have lots of time on my hands to read these and offer up my perspectives and opinions… So remember, it is only MY opinion. If you really feel you are in love with this girl, the option of “getting over her” is kind of out the window in terms of “how”. Only time can do that for you. I don’t know that telling her you’re in love with her is in your best interest. For example, what if you do and she freaks… tells other kids at your school and you become the center of ridcule. I say give it time. Remain her friend and see what comes of it. Forcing anything right now could be detrimental to your school life and perhaps home life. I understand completely what it feels like to love someone and not be able to express your feelings or tell them you love them but sometimes “right now” is just not a good time. What is your family like? would they support you in this decision? do you have other friends who know you’re a lesbian?

Ahh, good luck.. I’m going through the same EXACT thing.

Jess is right – time is the only way you can completely get over her. However, there are ways to make it less painful. One of the problems for me with the girl I was in love with (my best friend since childhood) was that I felt like I couldn’t be myself completely around her, since she didn’t know about my sexual orientation. At that time, only my parents knew. Finally I just told her (it was scary, but I couldn’t hold it inside anymore). I didn’t tell her that I had a crush on her, but there were so many hundreds of clues through the years that I’m sure she must’ve known. She’s straight, but she loves me deeply as a friend.
However, only time made my feelings for her weaken. I still adore her, but now it’s possible for me to go a day without thinking of her (which I couldn’t before). Anyway, the bottom line is that you can’t force your heart to beat a certain way, but you can make it easier in your own way. Unanswered love is always painful, but take it from someone who’s been struggling with her feelings for four years in a row (going from shame, pain, anger, desperation, hope, pain again, shame again, longing and finally acceptance). Love is still worth it. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for this girl.

Find your own way to deal with it. Tell her about your orientation, or about your feelings for her, or create a distance between you, or try to be her friend without trying to change your feelings for her (simply accept that they are there). The second and the last one are the hardest, but telling her about her feelings or just accepting them are also the two options where you’ll probably find the most peace.

Good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

i am goin through the exact same thing! n wats worse is that there was that night when we gut drunk n made out n the next day in the morning she was like omg n wtf n how awkward was that! n how wrong that was!! im going nutss!! i luv her :S

Im there too! And I really dont know what to do cause im sure she is straight but sometimes she say things that she might feel the same way about me. I didnt tell her about my feelings cause im afraid to ruin our friendship, but its not easy i just love her so much..
if u wanna talk with someone who is in the same situation email me!

I’m going through the same thing. I have deep feelings for my best friend but I’m really sure she’s straight. Is there anyway to get her to become gay?

France speaking,same here.And what if you are straight,and you realize you are,at least,bisexual.And you fall in love with a new good friend that is totally inspiring,and clever,and beautiful,and perfect,and she always tells you how perfect and beautiful YOU are,like “i am ok,you are a Goddess” etc etc…And you are already broken hearted by a secret relationship with a woman that regrets for the summer you spent together.And you don’t wanna fall in love again in such a short time distance.And you realize you are absolutely in love with the new girl,although loving her was never a way to get over the previous woman.You just adore her for what she is.And you see crazy dreams when you sleep over,losing the reality.And you are not a teenager anymore.And you live with your boyfriend…And she forces you to tell her why are you are sad lately,threatening that if you don’t confess she won’t trust you anymore.And you are hiding to save the friendship.But finally you tell her.And everything is ruined.And you do everything on the list but it doesn’t work cause you are in deep pain.

okay…so my situation is kinda similar. I have this crush on my friend. I’ve been crushing on her since high school. We met sophmore year and now we are both freshmen in college (different colleges sadly) We met up again during summer break and as soon as I saw her, my heart skipped a beat, i got all nervous and my heart started to race. I am totally into her. Problem 1. I think she is straight. 2. I am in the closet about being gay. 3. I do not wanna ruin our friendship. I’ve been thinking about asking her out because she made a comment a few weeks back when we were hanging out about all the people who’ve been crushing on her are not for real and are just after one thing. And All I want is her heart. Maybe a little stolen kiss here and there and eventually a “forever” from her. And help me god I think the next time I see her I will tell her how I feel. If I do, I will share. (I will need the support either way)

Wish me luck!
And pray that this goes well for me.

Okay ladies…so here it is from a straight girls point of view…I have been straight my whole life (I’m 30 now), I have three beautiful children that I adore. I have had crushes on women that are famous or found women to be attractive, but never had any thoughts of dating one or being sexually intimate with one. I found myself just able to appreciate the beauty in women. I am very open when it comes to sexuality and always have been. I recently just spent time with an old friend that is a lesbian, who is fully aware that I am straight, however the feelings that she had could not be hidden. I enjoyed our time together more than I ever had before and found myself wanting to be around her more and more. We began going on dates without me even realizing thats what it was. I would make comments out of friendship that she would take as more, and I honestly didn’t realize it. The day that I had to get on the plane was actually very hard, I didn’t want to say good buy. She confessed to me that she wanted to be with me and that I was what she was looking for in a partner. Honestly she was everythin that I wanted as well except she was a woman. I never dreamed, thought or contemplated dating a woman before…but because of the bond that we formed , I told her I was willing to try…I guess what I am saying is that you can’t control who you care about or how you feel. I feel the stigma of lesbian/gay is so black and white when really love is gray…you will never know how the other person feels if you dont give the option to decide. I believe that love comes in all shapes and forms and it is up to the people in question to shape their own love…I still believe that I am straight not bi..cause I have yet to fall in love with a woman or make love to one. However if things work out in this case I still will not label my sexual orientation I will just label myself as “in Love” I wish you all the best of luck..but I truly believe that honesty is the best policy and who knows maybe you will turn a straight girl gay!!! God Bless….

sincerely,i really do not understand all these talks abt havin feelings for women cos i really think of it in two words”weird” and”abnormal”.i would advice anyone in dis to pray against it,.it is a bad spirit and a grave sin against GOD..God ordained that man and woman be together not the reverse..lesbianism has broken many homes…if u”re married as a woman and u find out ur husband is gay,how would u feel?am not being judgemental at all…but to me i think it”s bad and any girl or woman that finds herself in dis condition should seek moral and spiritual guidance…thank u

TO New to this – I have no interest in trying to turn a straight girl gay that’s why I don’t date straight women or take them seriously when they flirt with me. Even if a straight woman was serious about getting with me I wouldn’t because I don’t see the point of wasting time with a woman who is into men but not women but will give a woman a go just to try something new. Why should I waste time with a woman who can’t love me or sex me the way that I want and possible miss out on getting with a woman who can?

Of course you will not label your sexuality other than straight even if you have a sexual relationship with your “friend”. Just because a woman gets with another woman sexually doesn’t mean she is a lesbian or bisexual.

TO joy – Of course you don’t understand feelings since you don’t seem to have any. Do you even bother to read post when you are at these types of forums? It seems not – since you admittedly don’t understand feelings. How hard can it be to understand that some women are simply not attracted to men sexually and some women are attracted to men and women sexually? It’s always humorous to me when someone post at WWLW sites and try to denounce same-sex attraction by bringing God into it. God obviously has not ordained you to speak for Him since you can’t spell without errors, don’t have feelings, and can’t write well enough to convence anyone that they should take your advice.

It is not lesbianism that break up homes. What break up homes is heterosexuals insisting that homosexuals marry the opposite-sex — marry them. If you don’t want your home broken up then don’t marry a homosexual. But if you don’t have feelings then how long to you think even a straight or bi man will stay with you?

Don’t you think it even a little bit “weird’ that you believe in a being someone told you about or that you read about in a book but have never heard or spoken to, yet, you think you know what this invisible being ordained? I am at least a real living person communicating directly to you but you prefer to think that I should get with a man just because of what you don’t understand. It’s funny that if you claimed you saw an alien space ship you wouldn’t be taken seriously by most people, yet, most people claim to believe in a god that they have never seen or heard.

It could be worse. For instance, I feel the same way towards women twice my age who are already married. Yes, time is the best thing. Another thing that helps is writing/journaling. Oftentimes journal entries that were created even two days ago could look like they were written by a different person two days later.
But please. Don’t hold it in. Either tell her how you feel or keep a distance because continuing as a friend is only going to make you want her more. For all you know, vocalizing your feelings might inspire other girls in your school to vocalize theirs. You never know how many other girls at your school may be struggling with the same feelings as yours. And women, being as subtle as we are, sometimes need to see others admit their feelings before admitting our own.
If we don’t come into this world picking our sexual orientation then there’s no reason we should be ashamed of it. I’m not saying to do something foolish. But there’s no reason to hide either. People who don’t take risks end up alone and miserable. I (personally) would rather regret something I said/did than something I didn’t do.

Definitely going through this right now. ://

UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Chick, the best girlfriend you’ll ever have comes from a friendship and if you guys are THIS close, I’d say, why the hell would you want to get over her? I think you should totally tell her and not bluntly but in a very subtle way. I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a year and over a month. She was straight and never had a boyfriend and we were best friends… I crushed on her so hard and I would always try to get physically close to her to see how she would react to it. She already knew I was gay, though but maybe you could tell her that you like girls.

Invite her over one day and sit with her in your room and just get very serious and tell her “you’re the best friend I’ve never had… do you feel the same way?” To which she will probably say “yes” and then you ask her “you’d be my best friend no matter what, right?” and she’ll say “yes” and then you say “well, I have something to tell you and it means a lot to me and I’ve never told anyone before but I feel that I can trust you with this…I’m a lesbian”

Her reaction will be: oh wow… since when? – when did you find out? – how do you know? – OR complete silence… you get the picture.

Do NOT immediately tell her you like her… just let it sink in and see how she acts around you, if she’s still the same… or even maybe if she really does like you she might say it first. After a while… and I mean a month or so and she hasn’t said anything about how she feels towards you… this is when you start to make your move on MAKING HER FALL FOR YOU… I mean she already likes you plenty as a friend… and she’s never had a bf so this is all in your favor, you can make her feel the way no one has ever made her feel before, giving you the lead.

START DOING A LOT OF NICE THINGS FOR HER(give her a flower that you picked up on the way from a tree, call her beautiful any chance you get… etc) and every chance you get TRY TO GET PHYSICALLY CLOSE TO HER (whisper in her ear, stroke her hair out of her face, all very casual) And so these things more and more each time if you see that she has not objected to them… until the point where you guys one day are alone again in your room ask her in a very casual way “can I kiss your cheek?” and do this as subtle and as romantic as possible, preferably cup her opposite cheek in one of your hands softly… little by little, you got her without saying a word.

PERSONALLY EXPERIENCE

ONE MORE THING! No one becomes GAY. People who claimed to be straight and are now gay, are either bisexuals, confused or were always gay and just never realized it.

where are the straight women for us straight guys?

Hey, i am so going through this! I am totally in love with this girl Lena! I told her i am bisexual and she’s gotten drunk while i wasn’t and we made out. BUt i don’t know if she means to do this. She told me she is fine with me liking her and it won’t affect our friendship. I can best bet she is 100% straight. I love her so much! But she would never date me because i’m bisexual i really want her. Should i try and make my moves? and close a kiss? or just accept it and try and get over her?

i’m 16 and a first timer with this feeling. and i am driving nuts. i only know this girl for a month. we are not close friends, just classmates. we talk for like only 5 minutes a day. i told her i have a crush on her and she said its fine. but as days passes by she is making me cry without her knowing ofcourse. she is always making me jealous when she is with his guy crush!!!
but when she is with me, she is so sweet. she hugs me everytime and always approach me about things. and she is a major flirt with me. which she dont do with her friends, even best friends. yesterday she pulled me out the classroom then asked me if i can come with her in the restroom. and i said yes. i dont know but there is this feeling that i want to kiss her so bad and even thought of sex. this is so embarrasing *hids face*
she always text me when we are not in the school. i dont know but I DONT CONSIDER MYSELF BISEXUAL. or i just can’t admit it? please help me out.
should i wait for time to get over her? or should i wait for her to be a bi so we can just stick together? oh am i hilarious? aaaarggggh.

Well I’m pretty much going through what you are too. She’s my best friend and if I tell ehr that I really I mean really liked her sh’d freak and probaly never talk to me again.to this day no one knows not even my parants.

Im in that same dark place currently. So I’ve been in love with this girl for over 3 years. I knew from when I first met her that she’s the one. We had an amazing summer together we wrote dozens of love letters, we called eachother at night. And she came out to me as bisexual. And by then I was utterly infatuated with her. We started dating, it was so amazing. We texted all day when we weren’t together, and when we were together it was amazing. But then suddenly she left me. After I got kicked out by my parents for being gay. she left me for a guy. I couldn’t eat or sleep and I wanted to die I had nothing. She was everything. Then I went out with this other girl in a failed attempt to get over her. She dumped the guy, an said she was still in love with me. I dumped my girlfriend at the time and we were together again. For over 9 months. 9 months of everyone making her feel like shit, of her family not accepting her. Shes a sensitive soul and age takes everything to heart. Then all of a sudden she left me. She was shaking and crying and once again I was being left. I could see longing in her eyes though. She went out with a few people. It’s been over half a year and now she is saying she is straight. But she’s not happy and she threatened to kill herself recently. Im so lost. I have no clue what to think or do…

ok so i have never been a lesbian this 25 years maybe i did mess around but never have had feels 4 girl but now i meet this girl at my job she is lesbian and we been flirting and she tex me and i get exctied the same feeling i would get when i like gut i donot know if im becomen lesbian i can actly say i look her….

start by coming out to her see how tht goes if it goes good slowly move forward and start making it more obvious that your into her

I’m going through this as well. This girl chased me LITERALLY. Even came to my town for a weekend, busted a mission, just to spend some time with me. We got a little drunk and ended up having amazing sex and then saw her again a day after and said my goodbyes and we kissed. Now she’s back in my home town where she’s also from and she hardly talks to me now. I know I need to just give it space and time, but she is just the most beautiful girl and we click. Nothing I can do though except wait it out. My heart goes out to all of you! haha -__-

Sorry this is long ….
I used to have the same thing, I fancied my best friend for absolutely ages, and it seems obvious looking back at what I’ve done and how I’ve acted around her, but she confused me , lead me on I think, every sleepover for a year without fail, she would come over , and she’d make sure we’d up kissing. Were no longer best friends, as she felt ‘pushed out’ after I became close with another girl but still it continued and once it went further … Not all the way but quite far for two supposedly straight 15 year olds… Anyway, she used to always compliment me , and basically mess with my head, I came out as bi to close friends recently,and it slipped out when talking to her once, after we visiting a museum and joked about me not being gay as I kept going over to the naked men statue’s and she’s said to me on one occasion that it was so obviously her that turned me bi … This hurt, I don’t know why, perhaps I felt used… Don’t know :s, but it was true. I now hate her, she’s an absolute bitch, and only come’s back to being my friend or even talking to me when there’s no one else from her new set of friends to talk to, I’ve recently told her, as I have a boyfriend who knows I’m bi, no funny buisness shall be happening, she said she wasn’t going to try anymore anyway…. its a funny thing, love.

I’ve never had this happen to me. I’ve had little infatuations with straight women, but I always told myself I would never be a fool to fall in love with one. But here I am, on this site because I too am experiencing the same thing. I have a really HUGE crush on one of my straight friends. I think she’s straight. I mean when we first talked she told me about her ex- bf and her crush on that Twilight vampire haha But idk on her facebook it went from interested in “men” to now saying nothing at all. The last time we hung out she looked at me with these eyes…I can’t explain it but it gave me weirdzees (butterflies) in my tummy. Then as her friend was driving me home, she sat next to me and really near. He hugs are amazing. It’s like she means it. I like when I’m alone with her because we’re two big goofs and we make eachother laugh all the time. She plays the guitar and sings so beautiful- it made me fall so much further. She’s absolutely beautiful/hilarious/kind/interesting/smart. I can’t stop dreaming about her either. I swear, she’s in my dreams almost every other night. Sometimes we don’t even interact; she just appears out of nowhere in my dreams. It drives me insane. I think about her constantly. I’m seeing her in a week and I’m so excited. I got her some small gifts to make her smile. I’m going to see how she reacts and what her actions are to see if I’m really just a fool or if I have a chance. Good luck to all of you. <3

Ahhhh~ I’m going through this too except… I ain’t a lesbian. Or so I feel. I mean, I still like guys and all…and I ain’t into girls… Except maybe my best friend. We hug, we hold hands, we sleep and sit on each others’ laps…
I mean, how do you separate the feeling of “love” and “friendship”? For me, I know I’m not a lesbian but I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever she hugs me from behind and all. I feel damn miserable and I’m sure she’s straight too? Not like I can read into her mind or anything but…I’m quite sure she isn’t into girls.
Argh, I’m just dying…T_T I want to ask her if she actually likes me too but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. She’s the only one I have…

im 18 years old and im going through the same thing! ugh its sooooo frustrating..i started having girl crushes when i was 16 and since then i’ve had about 3…theres a girl i work with shes 21 and i only started to become attracted to her this year…she is GORGEOUS but she has a boyfriend and im pretty sure she is straight…shes flirty when she is drunk but thats about it…idk what to do!! should i just try to makout with her when shes drunk or tell her how i feel? and does this mean im bisexual? ive never kissed a girl before but i want to SO bad.

well i can say been ther done that she was of course straighti realize i had to protect myself it wasnt easy by no means it took a yr & 1/2 to get over her 8months i wasnt even around here but my passion ran deep I still have alove for her but not so obsessed i saw her this wk my hear meltedSo hjow i do it 1st isaid you have to respect her to the utmost so that kept me from letting out how i felt but someone else told heri still bought her gifts for 1st yrshe was sort of ok w/ me bein lesbian after a yr i stopped the emails i ntruly love her so iwanted what would make her hapy & it wasnt me i realized.i prayed for her & for me too get over her-iwill always want the best for her. i try to be aound lesbians im still avilable but my crush fieally stopped just a love probably for ever so my advise if you love not lust her think what would make her happy if u lust her thats a diferent topic

It was fascinating how we can actually relates to every story told. I used to have such crush, flirts, and relationship with a high school crush. It was wonderful, I call it magic because I thought I was under her spell back then. The thing is, I grew up in religious family sort of kind of way. And I don’t really label myself either. Not that I’m bringing up religious matter, yet in a spiritually context, we are all on test. A test where we have been chosen to overcome. Love is everywhere, even when I choose to neglect my feeling to girls. It was challenging, trust me. And I’m still on probation on dating girls. Tempted yet controlled. I’m just sharing my perspectives. We’re prone to do what heart is telling us, and sometimes we just act without thinking. Love from me girls.

Ok, so kinda like evry1 else I have a issue wth a straight bff,howevr my story has a couple twists to it. I have a wife who I love very much, and my bff is married to a guy n thy got 2 kids. So we did something n its like it never even happend for her. We went from tlking n txtng like bunnies to an ocasional hay wats up from her n I knw its not bcus im a disapointment in th sack, n its got me realy screwed up abt her. For a few months after we… Um u knw we had deep hugs n kisses tht lasted for days n now its dwn to hugs. So do I ask her wats up or jst keep ths awkword feeling to myself?

Ladies, leave the “straight” women alone. I use quotation marks because in my opinion, no woman is completely straight. The extreme cases just have minute tendencies that are extremely difficult to tap into. Those are the women who fall on the “straight” end of the spectrum. We all fall somewhere on that spectrum of “straight” and “gay.” The hard-to-get women are the ones who will mess you up, and unfortunately, they are the ones the “gay” girls seem to go nuts for (obtaining the unobtainable). These “straight” women make eyes at you, flirt, get close, and knowingly, but oh so innocently, plant that seed of possibility in your head. But, as soon as you make a move BAM! Your heart is crushed, and you get the famous line, “Sorry I’m not like that.” They like the attention, and they love feeling desired. They even love endulging in a few lesbian fantasies here and there. But, at the end of the day they are going home to their boyfriends, never to give you a second thought while you painfully obssess over them.

If you are in a situation where a girl has given you a reasonable clue that she would welcome any advances then go for it. These females are not “straight.” If the clues are way too subtle, and you have to wonder if your desires are playing tricks on your mind then please back off. What you are dealing with is “straight” girl, who to at least some degree, is contributing to the tricks. A “straight” woman doesn’t even have to know you are gay and they will sense and feed on your hidden desires. And, it all ends the same every time. “I’m only into guys.” Even if you are talented and foolish enough to tap into a “straight” woman’s gay tendencies, the heartbreak is only temporarily stalled. So, good luck to you all!

hey girls, I too am haveing girl crush problems,the thing with my situation is that I’m striaght ,I will only date men (with the exception of mila kunis)and yet i have a massive crush on my best friend who’s a girl!! When i first realised it i was feeling a wierd feeling in my stomoch, when i think i might be falling for a guy i jump on those emotions and the chase begins but with my friend harriet, i tried to talk myself out of ignolaging my feelings for her but like all things do the emotions tore down my little wall of nievity and i had to face the fact i had a crush on my best friend there have been moments off sitting too close ,if you ever been in convisation with somone your stood so close to and there face goes all blurry, i like that, and then theres thows times when we are saying goodbye and i dont want to leave her and she is hesitant too i think she doesnt want to leave me, and our eye contact says for a bit and none of us says a thing and then one of us smiles and walks slowly away i love those moments and hate them at the same time ,i love them because its the first subtle hint that maybe there is something there, and then of corse i hate it becuse after that moment she is gone, i dont want to say anything because im scared ill ruin pur friendship,but i am so desprate to kiss her, her hugs taument me because she gets so close but not quite enough to satusfy.its now frustrating cus i dont know what to do i like her more and more every time i see her …what shall i do!??!?

Hey guys,I’m in the same situation. So there’s this girl, I’ve known her for a couple of months, actually she is my classmate. We are not that close, but we’re friends. She confessed that she had a girlfriend once, in her freshman year in highschool. She has a boyfriend now, she told me that she will never get into a same sex relationship again. But, I feel like she has something for me too. We have fun together, send sweet messages every now and then. Am I just assuming or should I go with my instincts? Any advice?

This is in response to black swan being attracted to women and being in love with a woman is not a crime you said you were on probation from dating girls are you even a lesbian? and how is being a lesbian a test because i can think of far easier things to be tested on in life like to steal or not to or to lie to a loved one or to kill an innocent person, being a lesbian is not a lifestyle or choice for me it’s who I am, I love women, all of a woman, her body, her smile, her touch, her love and I am not ashamed of that it seems as if you are and that’s cool but dont try to make being a lesbian seem like it’s a switch in a person’s mind to turn on and off, it’s far more than that. Love you gals chocolatboi

Ok,I find these sorts of things irritating,I know this gay girl and we’ve known each other for a while.I really dont like her at all anymore but shes been crushing on me and expressing it FOREVER NOW.All she ever does is whine about how she’ll marry me some day and…oh…i dont know…pretty much molest me.I hate it.I like these guys alot but every time I mention it AROUND HER,she finds them,and drives them off.If shes straight,and you know it….LEAVE HER ALONE!

This is a response to The Straight Chick, I wanna tell you my story and maybe this will stop a young lesbian so she doesn’t make the same mistake. I was a tom boi growing up I had a bestfriend and we hung out alot but I wasn’t into sex or anything just videogames and watching/playing sports,hanging out with the guys I loved my friend she was beautiful inside and out and then one day all that changed she came on to me and i dont know I guess my hormones caught up I was hooked, this went on for many years along with feelings of rejection because the friendship went to hell, and confusion because I didn’t understand what I was feeling for her and why, we didnt talk about what we would do in fact she would be all in it and stop right before climax and go take care of herself and leave me frustrated and angry and all kinds of messed up, and then act like nothing happened but you see I could not help myself I kept going back and she kept on hurting me. As a young adult I would act out in anger calling her and a whole bunch of stuff because she was such a cold heartless bitch who used me, I never gave a damn about who she was with I just wanted her to hurt as much as I did, thank god those days are passed and gone and I have a beautiful woman in my life who is everything to me, I’m happy now there still questions that linger but in my heart I know she’s just not worth me even thinking about. The morale of the story is young and old lesbians alike if she treats you like crap and makes you feel like crap then she is crap it’s not a straight or gay issue because straight girl if you know that she still have feelings for to the point where she has delusions of marraige and the like STOP BEING AROUND HER!!! DONT TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!! DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HER!!! and if all fails move..no just kidding no seriously…chocolatboi

I’m in a similar situation:
I have this friend,i don’t think she considers me as her best friend but as for me,she is it.
She is just perfect inside and outside,never had a boyfriend but she likes boys and i think so much u.u which makes me sad but once she told me (and she repeats it when we talk about the thing) ‘I’m totally open about the gay-thing,in fact,you never know when you’re gonna wake up and realize you are gay’ . And i just loved it,and she always says being gay is TOTALLY normal,and i don’t know.
I hate feeling like this because i became a JEALOUS beast when she is around other girls or boys.. i just can’t take it and i get angry and we get offended to each other,just because of my jealousy and my love for her. I SERIOUSLY have a problem.
But i love her..so much,she is beautiful and i want to hug her and kiss her forever.
I’m 14 and she is 13.
Thank u,if you could help me,it would be beautiful.
PS:She knows i like girls.

Okay, umm I think I’m bi? When I was about 4 I’ve always wanted a penis and I’ve always dressed like a boy, I’ve always had guy friends. Except, I never felt an attraction to girls I had a crush on my guy best friend. He broke my heart in 6th grade lol, after that we were not ” BFFs” again. Then I started hanging out with girls and I had a major crush on a girl but I was little like 7th 8th grade but that was when I thought I was a boy so I never thought it was different But when I hit 9th grade I grew boobs gotta ass and I cried lol. anyways now I’m a total girly girl and I have plenty of guys after me ( not trying to sound stuck up) anyways Ive messed around with guys and I feel no attraction it’s not really even fun. Anyways there’s a girl in my last hour class her names Abby and she’s so pretty, shes flaless in my eyes! Im falling hard for her, and she’s a senior, ( I’m in 11th grade btw ) anyways she came out last year saying she’s bisexual, me and her became friends and we talk alot I have a boyfriend right now and I honestly just think of him as my best guy friend I hate kissing him and I don’t like him touching me it’s not fun. Anyways I try dropping hits to Abby I’m into her but she doesn’t get it or maybe she does and she thinks I’m kidding? Idk or maybe shes not into me at all. Idk I’m just crazy about her and I wanna dump my bf cause I can’t hide how I feel anymore it’s hard.
Sorry this is so long and excuse my spelling im typeing fast on my iPhone and I can’t spell worth shit.. Anyways i need advice!! Anyone??

this response is to mandy first no one is perfect you only feel like she is because she is very close to you and you have a bond with her please dont do what i did when i was your age i isolated myself never got know other girls and then fell madly in love you’re young get to meet other people, spend less time with her,join an athletic group,or band or some sort of activity where you can meet other people and give yourself time to be around other people you never know there are probably tons of girls in your school who could be friends with you, next about the jealousy thing i definitely was like that i drove her and myself crazy because we weren’t in a relationship and she didn’t like me the way i liked her, i know it’s hard but in order for you not to be jealous stay away from her i’m not saying dont talk to her or be around her but keep it to a minimum and i’ll say it again start meeting other people you dont have to come out to get to know someone go out with a groupto the movies or something and hopefully your feelings for her will disappear believe me i understand i just dont want you to go through lonely times thinking about this girl and not giving others a chance to get to know you, sexuality is so fluid i would say focus on you, enjoy being a teenager, have fun invest in other friendships,be safe and i hope you take my advice.chocolatboi

this response is to tori where do i begin well you said that you and abby are friends so i would say you whenever you guys are alone and you feel comfortable, just talk to her and tell her how you feel about her as for messing with guys did that but i was also messing with who i thought was my bestfriend at the time and that is how i know that i am a lesbian, so are you saying that you think you’re bisexual because you are attracted to this crush? because you might be jumping the gun here maybe you are attracted to only this girl for whatever reason but no other girl all im trying to say is dont put yourself in a box like i said to mandy sexuality is fluid enjoy being a teen p.s. as for your boyfriend be careful i dont know where you live if bisexuality is frowned upon but i know that guys sometimes get offended and if their ego is bruised might get a little physical be mindful of his feelings and be careful. i hope i helped.chocolatboi

This is also to mandy another thing that would help calm your nerves with the jealousy and anger thing is if you guys are fooling around STOP! DONT DO ANYTHING WITH HER that is what happened to me and my bestfriend we started fooling around and that caused a whole lot of trouble and confusion and arguments and alot alot of jealousy and that killed any kind of friendship we had and I fell in love and she fell in disgust so mandy i hope this helps I want you to know its confusing now but in a couple of years you’ll meet the right person just dont put unnecessary problems in your life now please take this advice or at least think about it.chocolatboi

hey everybody! I know all of you have already read so many similar stories like mine but i just need to let out things cause I feel i’ll go crazy soon. So here’s my story. I met this girl 2 years ago. We’ve become really good friends. I never thought I would fall in love with her. But it just happened. She is totally straight I know it for sure. She just broke up with his bf 3 months ago. They had been going out for about 3 and a half years. But I cannot control my feelings. Noone knows that I’m bi. So i can talk about it with noone. I just don’t want to come out to her cause that would ruin our friendship. And I don’t want that to happen. That would be such a huge loss for me. I also have those butterflies in my stomach when I see her. We meet every day cause we attend at the same university. She says “I love you” everyday, she gives kisses on my cheek really often, her hugs are amazing. I just cannot stop myself from falling deeper and deeper. But at the same time my heart breaks a bit each day cause I know she’ll never be mine, I know she loves me a lot, she really does, but not the same way. We are so close friends. By fun we also got “married” a year ago. It was just for fun. I just don’t know what to do. It’s killing me inside cause I get jealous almost all the time. It’s so hard for me to hide my feelings. Any advice? Should I distance myself from her? That would hurt me and her at the same time. I’m just so puzzled.

Hey Lexxie,
First of all I understand where you’re coming from believe me with the “i love yous” and the “hugs” i hate to say this but it’s probably nothing. Lexxie I have come to realize that women love to hug and say i love you to friends or someone they consider dear to them it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s more than a sentimental gesture what do you guys think on this? Have you guys ever messed around? has she given any definite clues? like a intimate touch like a breast graze or a thigh squeeze? cause holding and hugs aren’t gonna cut it, but I understand you feel deeply for her so you’re bi okay start by going to a LGBTQ center if they have one where you live join a group MEET OTHER PEOPLE in a lot of these i dont like to say stories cause everyone that has written in wrote about their lives so lets call them life events in everyone of these life events all the ladies have this in common they are around the person alot, so get around new people meet different women, go out with different women, okay? and get a “DIVORCE” from her I mean “married” really? lets be real I dont want you to get hurt, she probably knows how you feel about her and is trying to fill some lesbian fantasy of hers keep the friendship and meet a beautiful woman go on a date and get to know that woman that you know for SURE is at least gay or bi and explore that woman. I hope i helped be safe have fun.chocolatboi

I know. I didn’t say that I think that those “I love yous” and “hugs” would mean anything. But it’s just a bit more complicated. We spend all our free time together. And those hugs are really tight to be honest. It’s hard to explain but I never had a friend that has been so close to me like her. I mean she doesn’t care if anyone sees us when we are walking on the streets holding hands. I know female friends are used to this. To be honest I know her so much that she won’t mess around with my head if she knew about my feelings for her. She is just not like that. I know I spend too much time with her and that’s why this whole thing is killing me inside. But at the same time I wouldn’t survive if we never met again. And I know it would kill her as well. Okay I know i cannot explain this whole thing properly cause there’s so much on my mind and I don’t even know how to tell things and if you saw us together you would know what I’m talking about. But anyways you helped me a lot, and thank you for your advice but you know i just cannot get “divorced” from her. Have a great day

No Lexxie I Doo understand believe me I was so in love with T I thought was going to die I do understand what you mean about the hugs and all that because I did that too,will you at least go visit a LGBTQ center and try to meet other bisexual people so you have an outlet in case anything should happen with her as far as the relationship getting more complex you can have people to talk to? I mean at least consider that but you know what you’re right I dont know you two all I can say is I wish you the best and I hope that her love is for you equal to if not more than the love you have for her. Okay talk about the subject and see how she reacts, you dont have to tell her anything just in general mention a famous bi actress or something and see how she reactsits just my advice if you choose to take it, but either way Lexxie I wish you happiness.chocolatboi

Chocolatboi!
Thank you for your opinion. I didn’t want to attack you. I mean I said that “if you saw us together…” thing cause I just cannot explain anything. I mean there’re so many things on my mind. I didn’t want to seem to be rude or anything like this. You know I’m freaking happy when I’m with her but I’m a bit killed as well at the same time. I think you know what I’m talking about. Okay I’ll try to talk about this topic with her. I’m really thankful for your replies. They made me think more clearly. They really did. Now I guess I just have to get things straight in my head, take a long walk alone. And thank you for reading my story and trying to help and sharing your opinion. I really needed to let out this whole thing.
Lexxie

Lexxie,
Thats cool I understand everything you are going through and I didnt feel attacked or anything its hard what you’re going through and especially if you dont have anyone to confide in, whether you’re bi gay or lesbian. I’m just giving an “ear” no judgements or anything here and you know its just advice but in the end you have to do whats best for you as long as you are happy you know? I’m sure everything is going to be fine,take care.chocolatboi

Chocolatboi,
I really appreciate your advice. I really do. I was just afraid that you might have felt attacked or something. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I hope I’ll get over this soon.
Take care.
Lexxie

Hey all this is for all the bisexual or straight women that has had a “fling” with a lesbian why? I mean I guess this is for any woman to answer did you have this fling because you were curious and while having this fling were you up front and honest about your intentions with this woman did you consider her feelings? how did the flings turn out? I guess i’m asking these questions cause lately a woman has been infecting my inner most being and I’m trying to wrap my head around all these feelings thats been coming to the surface please respond thnnks in advance.chocolatboi

Ok, i know that has probably been heard a lot, a ton. I have an infatuation with a girl. I am in high school and am just realizing that it might be more then just a great need to be good friend with her. I know she likes men, but i still cant get over her! Im in the closet and have told only one person that i think im bi.

The girl i like is definitely having problems with men. She has been very upset with different guys all year. Yet i still have these feeling and when shes sad im sad. Ive only just met her this year and these feelings are already so strong, but im pretty sure she has no desire to become better friends with me. We click pretty well, but for some reason my subtle attempts at hanging out with her or texting her seem to be denied. Yet in the one class we share she makes me laugh and smile and she is very nice and odd, her moods change like the wind and shes random and funny.

How do i stop this stupid pointless desire?! please help…im so lost here. im totally new to these extreme of feeling. i mean i have had small infatuation with girls before, but nothing to this extent, and i HATE it.

Hey Drea,
Can you try to be around other people if you know that she isnt trying to be more than a friend be her friend nothing more. I understand your feelings for her but dont let it get the best of you there is someone out there who will appreciate your love just be patient and wait for that person. I hope this helps.chocolatboi

Okay thanks, i think shes bad for me to, but just when I am getting over her she does something extremely cute like what i said above. Then im just back on my face, crushing mad. Ive now started to come to terms that I am bisexual through the course of this week. Yet still nobody knows and I have conflicting feelings on if i should just keep it that way.

Also the fact that she doesn’t seem to want to be more than just a school friend it kind of hurts. Cuz I really would like to hang out with her after high school. My dating options are limited and well…damn should i just start looking for someone else to crush on? Thanks for answering me, i was really looking forward to an honest reply finally! its harder then it looks to get internet help with this kind of situation!!

“well she has been super clingy to me this one day, but its mainly because she was teasing me the whole class period. She kept saying i was pretty and that she loved me, but she made sure that i knew she was kidding. She said ‘You know im kidding right? because that could get messy!’ then she giggled and continued to tease me lovingly the whole class period. Any suggestion on this?”

she does stuff like this that makes me totally recrush.

Hey Drea,
Hope you’re having a great day today, I just give advice based on my experiences with the woman I had fallen in love with who ended up with a man, because she was not gay, and I went through a lot because of her. So my goal is to help someone else before they go down that road or at least give them a different outlook, now saying that I hate to do this but Drea honey she is not gay, or bisexual I think she knows that you like her and is being a bitch with playing on your feelings, ditch the bitch, hon and be around other people cause it seems if you continue with this girl she is going to hurt you. Join a group at a LGBT center if there are any where you live its anonymous and safe and you can express yourself and meet several bisexual women there who can relate to you dont waste your time energy and love on this girl. I hope this helps.chocolatboi

Ok I will! thanks for the help. It will be extremely tough to no continue to like her. I realize that she does hurt people without realizing it and hurts herself as well. (through observation).

I’ll try to forget her. Thank you so much for the advice.

I never realized how many women out there are going through the same thing I am. I’m a lesbian who was in love with a straight woman. She is Catholic and very conservative. She even mentioned when we first met how she didn’t like gay people. After about two years, I came out to her. Surprisingly, she took it well. I proceeded to tell her that I had a crush on her when we first met. That made her a little uncomfortable at first, but she blushed and joked that maybe she should switch sides. It’s strictly platonic between us. I didn’t “get the girl.” But I’m glad that I told her because I feel like I can now completely move on without any regrets. With that said, coming out and telling a straight woman how you feel should be done with cautions. I’m in my thirties and have lost a few friends along the way from coming out. I’m much better at reading people now than when I was a teenager.

I had a crush to my girl classmates too, high school, college. I still have. I first felt this crush thing to this person whom I first thought a guy, it’s funny when I found out “he’s” not. I thought it was just an innocent feeling so I ignored it ’cause I was like 13 years old that time.
Anyway, feeling grows stronger when you become close or more attach to that “like” of yours. So for me whenever I feel like I’m beginning to like a certain girl I just shut down myself– keep my distance, ignore my feelings and try to focus on guy. I’m hoping and trying to be straight. But I just find it hard to like guys. I don’t want to be the talk of the town. I don’t want my parents to disown me. I don’t want my family and friends to look at me differently. I dream of having kids of my own, a family. I really do. That’s why I think I’m just confuse. So I stay in the closet all these years. But it’s pretty tiring doing it, pretending. Whenever I go back, I just found myself miserable ’cause I was never really happy with the way I live my life. I never have a boyfriend “yet” or “any relationship”, ’cause I just can’t. We can never hide who we truly are.
I know this doesn’t quiet help you with your problem but just remember that happiness is when no regret, no hiding and pretending. I can say the same to myself, that I know. Life has a way of making people see what you truly feel. So even if you haven’t tell what you feel for her, I’m pretty sure she knows. She might just need a vocal confirmation. And she might not like it but you’ll never know unless you try. Life is full of trials and errors of course. Let’s live the way we are.
Have a good, happy “you” life ahead.

this is to PHIERS Im a lesbian and I do want my own family, I use to be like you to care about what others thought had a couple of boyfriends and it was okay up until sex was involved then the whole kissing and penis thing and touching thing got in the way. I haD to understand that I am who I am nobody is living this life of mine but me and I cant be with a man in good conscience because it wouldnt be fair to a man putting him through hell, I know because I actually liked one of my “beards” and he and I got close I felt so guilty because here he is blaming himself when it was all me there was nothing wrong with him.
Phiers Im not saying how you feel is wrong deciding to be out or be in the closet is everyones personal choice and that’s understood. I’m just telling you what I went through, I want to have children with the mentioned friend he knows that im a lesbian and we waited until he had his child with his girlfriend first so in about a year g.w. I’ll be having my first child why him well like I said we got really close I think if I was straight I probably would have married him! LOL I know being a lesbian is hard,its lonely and frustrating at times that’s why I get pissed off when people say its a choice No! No one would choose to feel like you’re fighting against the world sometimes but I wouldn’t,couldn’t be any other way and be happy, I know that.

Oh my god i think these girl are crazzy

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

Hey im a guy but, it doesnt mean im not the one to know nothing about lesbian troulbes, i have a friend that i sa lesbian and she knows i know and she respects me to not tell anyone. She had the same problem. All i can think you should do is ask if she likes anyone, if she says you wait till the next to tell her how you feel, or tell her right there and then, and if it works perfect but if she answers a guy your should ask if she can keep one of your dearest secerts (your a lesbian) and then give it time if she keeps it, you know it could work, but if not if you dont think its not gonna work dont. Just keep waiting and try and find the perfect moment. Your welcome and if she keeps it and it works out your welcome and you know this isnt my real email.

I BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL HER CAUSE EVERY GIRL IS STRAIGHT UNTIL THE MOMENT SHE MEETS THE ONE !

im realy stuck i have fancied one of my mates 4 ages and she flirts back with me but other friends too i dont know what too say cause she might turn out too hate me and ive got realy deep feelings for her im bisexual and i know i have been for a while know but u dont know if she is because she dosent even know i am please help ! thanks xxxxx

Hi everyone- I’ve noticed there are a lot of comments on here, and I haven’t read them all, but I came here because I’m wondering some things about myself, and am wondering about what to do.

The straight-girl crush? Is there any other type of crush? It seems I’m always in a straight-girl crush, and in my experience, straight girls get creeped out when you check them out, so I keep a straight face and consciously try not to check them out so much to keep them comfortable. Although I worry if it’s obvious to them or not. I’ve had this problem in high school, college, now grad school. It was obvious in high school, but I got better at keeping a straight face through college and now grad school, so I haven’t had anyone actually asking if I was checking them out, but maybe they’re just being polite. I wonder if this experience has made me repress my feelings toward women.

I’m in a relationship with two men (polyamorous, like a threesome), but I don’t think I’m in love with them. I love them like brothers, but I like women much much more. The idea of sex is repulsive, unless it’s with women. My entire life I’ve been overly intellectual, and I’ve only recently even been accessing my heart. I feel like maybe I only got involved with them because I was “feeling” with my head. I love them like brothers, but maybe I thought I was into them because of their personalities, the biggest aspect being their intelligence, which maybe is attractive regardless of sex. So maybe they’re more like best friends than boyfriends? As far as intimacy, I’m pretty much only ever intimate when I’m truly trying to improve the relationship, as in I get involved to try and reignite a flame, but what if that flame was never there in the first place? This is tricky. I truly love them, but I don’t think I’m in love with them, but I don’t want to leave them, but I’m repulsed by the idea of sex, but only with men. I’m overall repulsed by sex, but am maybe very repressed toward women, which was learned from past experience. I have been having sexual dreams about women that weren’t repulsive, but downright magical. Does this make any sense? What should I do? I don’t want to leave my men, I absolutely love them, but maybe I’m not in love with them. Any thoughts?

Maybe this would help everyone else… if I was single, maybe I would ask one of the hot girls in my class if they were straight (IF they’re not already in a relationship). They’ll probably give an answer, and then ask “why do you ask?” If she told you she’s straight, then you might respond “Well, I’m kind of into you, but if you’re straight then I won’t pursue it.” (And then really, don’t pursue it!) If she told you she’s not straight, then ask “I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime with me?” If she says she’s not sure, ask “Want to find out? I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime with me?” Maybe this is a good way to deal with the straight-girl issues?

Since I was a kid, I know that I am straight. But during my high school years, I noticed that I am also into girls, I talk like a man, act like one and I also have feelings for my bestfriend. But I feel in myself that I am a bisexual because I like staring at boys and their bodies. I dont know what to do. I just want to be straight for it is a shame to be a lesbian in our family.

Wazalak, that’s really unfortunate for you, that being bisexual/lesbian is a shame in your family. Is there any way you can distance yourself from them? My mother didn’t take it too well, and now I live a couple hours away and pretty much never talk to her except on holidays, during which times certain topics are just never talked about. I had a similar problem, but have basically solved it by moving away and distancing myself, and things have been so much better for me since. Is doing this at all possible for you? I know if you’re a teenager unable to get out on your own yet, or in some cultures it’s not acceptable to go away, etc., but is it possible?

Well – I fell in love with the pettiest girl you ever saw. We were best friends at first, and then we began holding hands, and cuddling when sleeping over at each others houses. Then one night we almost kissed, and it was so intense and so “right” and neither of us were under the influence – but she stopped it before anything happened because she was afraid of it being awkward between us – so we went to bed without doing anything. Next day she ignored me, and she has been ever since. I’m so in love with her, and I can’t stand it. I miss everything about her, and everything reminds me of her or something we used to do together. Worst part is, we are in the same class 6 hours every single day, and I have to pretend that I’m okay cause I don’t want to seem weak. I told her about my crush, and it helped a lot to actually say the words – but I don’t think I’ll ever get over her completely, especially not when I have to see her every day and not talk to her or touch her or anything. I’m so broken down and I hate myself for ruining our friendship. Fml.

Hey Ladies happy holidays!,
Okay this for noone I absolutely can relate to what you are going through it’s tough I know I had the same experience except I had sexual relations with my bff on more than one occasion and I thought we would be together forever not the case. I feel for you noone you’re hurt now but believe me when I tell you it gets better! for now see it you can join a LGBTQ center in your town and try to be around other people maybe volunteer but DONT DONT DONT!!!! TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER OR MAKE UP WITH HER OR BE AROUND HER its just going to hurt more. I know you’re thinking easy for you to say but I was where you were and you will get over it and you will meet someone who will love you in return. I hope this helps.chocolatboi

i know this dosent help at all but i just needed to say it openly. Im 15 and im in love with my bestfriend and i know for sure she dosent like me that way but we’re really close and i cant help it, we lay on eachother and kid around and i came out to her (shes the only one iv come out to) but she dosent know i like her and its killing me and she knows theres something wrong but i cant tell her.I would do anything for her and i know she would do the same, but i just dont know how to look at her without feeling intriged by her and iv even started dreaming about her, iv never had this feeling so strongly and now it wont leave…well thx for reading:)

i’m going through this too and i have no clue what to do she’s a co worker and lately her and i have been talking alot and hanging out around work cuz we’re lifeguards…but she’s straight and married i’m clueless cuz i see her all the time and theres no avoiding her i told a friend i who knows my situation that i might have to quit

Megan, I was in a similar situation. I was in love with a straight co-worker. I know it isn’t easy because it sure wasn’t for me for two years. I did tell my co-worker but it was because she was single and we spent time together outside of work. I don’t think you should tell her unless she brings it up. You need to respect their relationship. Don’t quit your job but focus your energy elsewhere. Get her out of your mind. Find a hobby to occupy your time.

so i went out with this girl for awhile when i like 9 she did something stupid and we stopped talking. i moved away but never stopped thinking of her. when i moved back, in highschool, we always said hi to each other nd hugged but before we could catch up she moved. then she moved backed nd was pregnant. it broke my heart at the time but i still love her the same..now we txt nd hang out almost every wknd nd she made me the god mother..im drivin my self insane though because i still lover her as more than a friend but i dnt kno if secretly shes still gay or if i was just a phase for her..i dnt even kno if she remembers that we went out..but shes always complimenting how i look and my ass lol..so im really stuck on what to do anymore nd its drivin me crazy!

nd to Phiers, i know exactly how you feel.. ive been in the closet since i was 9.im now 19 in college and still by myself..i dream of a big family as well and try to fight my feelings for girls but the harder i try the stronger they get. im not sure how much longer i can hold this in and continue to pretend..bottling all my emotions over the years has really messed me up. i have trust issues, insecurities, i bottle my anger, nd i get really depressed, though i hide it extremely well.tried to keep my mind off it all by being a full time student with two jobs.even still it gets to me.i wish more than anything that i was straight nd i didnt have to deal with this.i go to church and constantly pray that God change me because i just dont knw what to do anymore nd its affecting just about every aspect of me..although im in love with a girl and wnt to give in to my feelings, i still wish i was straight.sometimes i serously consider coming out but, like you, i dnt want to be disowned or looked at differently..i wish i had some great advice but im stuck too.just wntd u to know i empathize with what youre going thru..if you ever wanna tlk feel free to email me, april.h21@aol.com and anyone else for that matter, maybe we can help each other out..

hey there girls!

yeah i knowEXACTLY what you ALL mean.

I am a 17 year old skater girl and i have always found my attraction to be toward straight women. In school i had intense feelings toward my friend for four years straight, we talked on msn and did all nighters at sleep overs. The thing is, i never told anybody about my orientation and I’m the only one that knows. I was heart broken when she went out with a boy, never told me. but oh well.. then at my youth group i met a young lady recently, she’s new, and she has a child. Her old boyfriend left her. and she is kinda lost about it all. from the first moment i laid my eyes on her face my heart went tender. she is so pretty, but others don’t see what i see. I get along with her and she’s awesome.. its just that every thought i have is about her, and every time i look around at youth she’s looking at me. i have to be near her or i am in pain. I can’t sleep i can’t think properly. and anyways, she’s straight and today she sent me a message saying her pretty can you draw something for me? (i am an artist) and then she said at the end … ill take you on a date and i felt my blood go hot and i got so angry inside because i know she means like a friend girl date. -_- don’t know what i am suppost to do guys, its too much pain I have been going on these cycles for years…….

Good I’m not alone. Good luck!!

So I am about 20, and I have recently developed a crush on a doctor, well physicians assistant. She is a women. I cant stop thinking about her. I keep trying different birth controls just so I can go see her. She is like in her 30′s and we have the same name. I have always been straight…atleast I thought I was. In middle school girls called me a lesbo because I guess I checked out their bodies in the locker room :/ but I ALWAYS thought I was straight. Ive loved men. I love one currently. but despite the fact that I have been with a man for three years I cant stop thinking about the girl. It has gotten borderline obsessive. I am scared to tell anyone…but I think i might lover her. i dont know what to do. I have never even kissed a girl before. But every night before I go to sleep I just think of her smile, and cheesy jokes. She is my lady health person. I am a creep huh?

OKAY THIS IS FOR ALL THE LADIES FROM MS HERNANDEZ DOWN PLEASE STOP CRUSHING ON STRAIGHT WOMEN AND PLEASE STOP BEING AROUND THEM TRY TO GET INTO A LGBTQ CENTER AND GET TO KNOW OTHER BI SEXUAL WOMEN OR WHATEVER YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF AS OKAY? THERE IS LOVE OUT THERE WHEThER YOUR GOING THROUGH A PHASE OR NOT BUT PLEASE LADIES GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU BACK NOT LUST, LOVE AND MS HERNANDEZ I UNDERSTAND THE PRAY THE GAY AWAY THING BUT ARE YOU SURE SINCE YOUR HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME THAT YOU SHOULD BE GIVING ADVICE? I MEAN I WAS JUST WONDERING THAT’S ALL THERE IS PRIVATE COUNSELING AT MOST LGBTQ CENTERS NOT THAT I THINK YOU NEED IT THIS IS JUST INFO FOR ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. I HOPE THIS HELPS.CHOCOLATBOI

Hey.
This isn’t helping anyone, but it’s letting me get it off my chest, so yeah.
I’ve fallen for one of my best friends. I mean, that’s no big deal because I’m always doing that, the only thing that’s different is that I’m confused about what sexuality she is.
I’m bi-sexual, I’ve been attracted to both boys and girls – and I’m totally okay with that, I’ve also told my friends – and they’re cool with it too, and one of my best friends is a lesbian herself, so it’s not like I’m the only one.
It’s just – with her, I don’t know what to do. She’ll do something like put her head on my lap and I’ll stroke her hair and I’ll just want it to last forever and, yeah.
I know that she’s never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend, but she’s also never kissed a girl and if we’re playing truth or dare or something she won’t kiss anyone. I won’t kiss anyone either though, so I don’t know what it actually means. She’s just so gorgeous and pretty and I love spending time with her.
I mean, we have so much in common it’s weird, but I can’t help but feel jealous when she hugs my other friends though. And I kinda want to hit them and go, “I LIKE HER – OKAY, ME! GET OFF HER!” I really wan to tell her, but I don’t want to do anything to hurt our friendship – especially because we’re like a group of three.
Me, her and our other friend.
I just don’t know what to do or what to say.
Help guys? Xx

I recently realized I am gay. Of course I think it would have taken a lot longer without this girl. I am fourteen and I met her last year. She could do no wrong in my eyes, but it is heaven to be around her and torture to be away. I know she is straight and wouldn’t like me “like that,” but whenever she is around I feel butterflies. From the minute I wake up until I fall asleep she is all I can think about. I have only told my very best friend I am gay and she was mostly supportive, but believes I am “going through a phase” becaus I talk about guys so no one suspects. Now I never rule anyone out as gay though and I think all girls are beautiful. But it just kills me to be away from her and know she won’t love me back. I didnt think you could fall in love with someone without being a couple, but I am 100% in love with this girl. I don’t want to withdraw from the relationship, but I feel bad when I am close to her, because she doesn’t know and if she did would she be uncomfortable? She is one of my closest friends and I know she would support me being gay,but telling her how I feel seems too severe and I would never want to make her uncomfortable. All I want to do is get over her and at the same time be around her all the time…. Help! Thanks for reading

Dawn, talking from experience you’ll most likely scare her away. Talking from experience again, high school is no place to find a girlfriend. My advice is to get wrapped up in homework, get involved in extracurriculars, and don’t even look for a relationship until you’re out of high school, possibly in college, with more like-minded people. High schools are so limited in their people, and it is just more likely that you’ll find someone who is also gay/bi and who shares your interests when you get to college. If college isn’t in your plans, then whatever it is you end up doing you might meet someone better. I’m mostly talking from experience, take what you want and leave what you want.

Thank you so much. You made me feel a lot better! I really appreciate the advice, I needed it. Would telling her I’m gay be okay though? Not that I like her just that I’m gay.
Thanks again.

I’m in the exact same situation, which is why I Googled this. Gosh, me and her are literally besties & l met at the end of the year last year in 8th grade and got closer. Waaay closer, that she calls me her daughter and we hang out a lot. But no one knows that I’m bi, & I’ve been for as long as I can remember. This girl, however, the first time I met her, I just knew I’d be so in love with her. (More and more each day!) I don’t really wanna come out, but I don’t wanna keep all of this bottled up! I’m 14, so young but damn, love hurts. I wanna be there for her forever as in be bff’s & maybe her lover? IDK. She always tells me she LOVES me, hugs me, talks all dirty (jokingly) to me, compliments me (calling me sexy and whatnot), & I just can’t take it when she doesnt know my true feelings. This happens to me all the time!

I read all these and I am absolutely amazed with how many of us go through the same senarios in different stages of our lives. I wish there was a way to control our hearts..but honestly I don’t think there is. I have learned that if I stand back and look at things from a new angle, a different perspective comes to light.
Unspoken love is the love that can literally tear at the strings of your soul. But when you think about it, doesn’t any and every kind of love? Whether it’s reciprocated, forbidden, unspoken, rejected…all the same. It all tugs at the source of our being, and in one form or another it takes irrevocable effect.
I’ve asked myself why I have fallen for someone I KNOW I can’t have. Why would I put myself through the torture of giving my heart to a woman that has no idea how I feel, or to a woman that has no intention on doing good with the gift I have presented her. It’s a simple answer actually. Because it’s love. It’s something that cannot be controlled. We may be the master of our actions, but we are not the master of our emotions, as crazy as it is. So when I love a woman and I lose her, I go through all the emotions, all the pain, all the emptiness…then I stand up, take the life lesson that was learned, and walk away as a proud lesbian. A proud woman. I will always love what I have lost but will never forget the moments that were granted. Sounds cheesy, but true.
As far as wanting and needing what is unavailable to us? Well I suppose we can take that want and need and turn it into something more healthy for us. We can look at the AMAZING woman that stands in front of us…the one who stole our hearts without our permission…and thank them because we had and do have the opportunity to have them in our lives. Guess we got presented a gift…just not one we can possess for ourselves lol.

I am going thru the exact same thing

so i had this crush we worked together for a few years, she was the first girl that made me feel this way. She is beautiful inside and out and always put a smile on my face. I told her i had a crush and she kept on trying to get it out of me. so i had a pause and started balling my eyes out and told my crush it was her. i already knew she is 100% straight as she already has a boyfriend but he treats her like shit i still dont understand why shes with him. so this was like 2 years ago we are still very good friends and i have never mentioned that day to her since.

I still think about her but i have learned to move on and now have another crush who i know is bisexual i have tried to make a move on her but she dosnt seem interested. i havnt told her that i am a lesbian and maybe she thinks she wont freak me out by making a move.

i am 19 years old and still going thru these feelings i really want this girl she means the world to me could anyone please give me some advice

Anna, if you feel you’ve made a move on this girl, and she’s not interested…then that’s that. But what exactly do you consider making a move? Did you outright ask her out? smile? flirt? Tell her she looked good? Some women I’ve hit on didn’t even realize it was a flirt and totally shrugged it off, just to later tell me they had no idea!!
If she really isn’t interested, then once again you have to move on . I know nothing is like a sting of rejection..believe me I know that one. I’m single and I flirt and get rejected…sometimes politely and sometimes not so polite lol. Don’t think of it as a personal attack though. We can’t expect every lesbian and bi woman on earth to be attracted to us. Although that would actually be nice
You sound like you have a good heart hun, and I really believe there is a woman out there for you! She will be lucky when she finally crosses your path
Good luck to you. You deserve nothing but the best that life has to offer.

Take care of you.

Felling this way is so confusingg….sorry if it is long :S

I am 16 and this year i met this girl. We started hanging out because we had the same taste in music and as time passed we got really really close. I really dont know why but we always talk about sex hehe not between us but between me and my fav.actor or hers and she makes up stories and tells me about them.So we had that relationship for months but then i started to have feelings for her! at school we were always together and after school as well. I felt like i liked her, really liked her…i always wanted to be with her and when i wasnt i felt really sad and that somenthing was missing.At first i thought it was a girl crush but as i investigated about girl crushes it said that it was an admiration towards the other girl but nothing sexual. But to be honest my feelings for her were also sexual ..i wanted to kiss her so bad and sometimes i even thought of sex :S all day i think about her and i also dream we are kissing and all that stuff. The complicated thing here is that we are both pretty striaght and we have both had boyfriends! I know i am straight..i like guys a lot hahah but she is the first girl i am really attracted to! So i said to myself that it wasnt just a simple girl crush..it was something else.
my friend and i always were physically close..we would always give each other kisses on the cheek, hold hands, touch our faces, say compliments to each other…but the more it happens the more i get confused.
She never complains when i touch her to much or when i whisper something on her ear in a very romantic way ! i always try to impress her and to look hot for her and to me thats weird since i have only done that for guys.
Also we have both experimented with other girls and we both say how weird it was..but what i feel for her its different ! i really want her! i really dont know what to do ! she is really sweet to me and she is always saying jokes like :¨hi cutie¨¨ and all that and we sort of flirt with each other a lot ! i dont know whether to get over her or to try to take it a step further . Please advice me !! i think i might be bisexual but im not sure…im really confused.

and also i cant tell if she likes me or not
sometimes it seems like she does :S

im in the same exact situation. at this point my feelings for her are over powering me, its making me go insane! the only thing thats diferent is that we dont know eachother but im planning on making a move to meat her to see if ill fell better, juss to know that i can talk to her and get to know her better. the only thing that i know is that i love her sooo much and the crush isnt goin away, whenever i see someone else i always think of her and the forget about the person. this stinks. hopefully when i meat her i can tell her how i feel and when she gets to know me she feels the same way so i can tell her the real truth

I FEEL YOU COMEPLETELY ANONYMOUS,
I READ WHAT YOU WROTEAND I WAS LIKE THIS SOUNDS EEXACTLY LIKE MY PROBLEM, EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!!!!!
IT SUCKS!!

I’ll let you decide from hearing my story, if what you should do, whether to move on or to risk it for the love

I’ve had 4 bfs and 2 gfs before, both of my ex-gfs told me they were straight, and 100% straight. But then they ended up telling me that they were not sure but they thought they fell for me. So we got developed to become lovers and it all went well. I never flirted nor confessed to guy or girl before, cos I don’t want to end up having a heartbreak from one-side love. But then a few months ago, I got in a college. I didn’t like anyone there, until there’s this girl, she acted strangely around me, and she’ll always stares at me secretly, while smiling alone. I always caught her doing that. She also doesn’t have much of skinship (like hold hands/get near other girls)with her friends. she’s shy around girls. But she did hold my hand and put her head on my shoulder (its really awkward cos we barely talk, like almost never talked at all). So when I saw her keep staring and smiling, or keep walking to my desk just to stand beside me and look at what I’m doing everyday (she never actually gets out from her desk at all, so I’m surprised to see her do that with me)and she said I’m pretty. we aren’t close at all and barely talk.. so I thought she could like me, that way.. so I unconsciously fell for her, little by little. I ever flirted with her like twice before, when she asked me who is my crush, I jokingly said “its you” and she replied “yeah… its me” . Until later on,she kept asking me who am I liking, like 5 times.. then her bestie started to ask me if I like her friend,while this girl’s smiling excitedly waiting for me to say it. I said “no.. I like her as a friend”. Then one day, she asked me again who am I liking, I asked her “omg you asked me like soo many times already.. haha Why do you want to know so much..?? well,secret.. but i’ll give a hint, you know that person better than anyone” lol She’s smart,she knew that I like her already.(She has many guys liking her and 1 girl too, but she doesn’t care about them at all). Then my friends kept saying “Why does she always look at you? You know whenever we walk past her, she only looks at you, and when you’re with us, she’ll come near” even my friends noticed that, I thought she MIGHT like me.. and was happy about that. Then her friend asked me again if I like her, I defended myself and said No, then I lied that I like another guy, the classmate. Later on, she never seems to come to me often anymore, she totally distanted herself from me and acted like a normal classmate. And after a month or 2, I confessed to her..but she said she can’t consider me as more than her sister.

So yeah broken heart, it’s a pain in the ass. What I’d like to suggest you, is, you can continue to like her if you can’t get over her, but don’t confess … it’ll be like a nightmare! The best method to get over someone, is never meet them again, but if you have to see them everyday… let’s look at their bad side. It takes time, but I wish you luck! Love people who love you Good luck

Well, Your situation sounds like mine in many ways except I’m on the other end of it. Yes I’ll admit it I am closeted bisexual, or at least bicurious. I have fallen for a lesbian girl and kept it a secret, there are meny reasons why including a homophobic father, inexperience in relationships, fear of probable rejection and not wanting to mess up the start of our friendship and perhaps in turn our basketball teams dynamics. Though I’ve been an acquantince with her for years we only barely started talking last year (our freshmen year). Coming from this perspective my mind is shouting tell her despite the fact that you assumptions are probably correct. I’m sorry my advice sucks and I mostly just vented and I’m sorry I’m such a coward in not saying anything because others in similar situations are accidentally stopping relationships before they start and who knows maybe I am to. If anyone reads this and has a suggestion of what I should do please tell me. By the wat I know this should be a seperate entry but I have no idea how to as I just found the site. Wish you all the best – Rachel

I have the same problem as most of you but shes in love with another guy

Please help im in love with a girl in love with a guy

Hello, I realise that this was posted about a year ago but I also noticed that lots of people have commented quite recently. So, I am sorry about that. I know how painful it is. Because basically I am going through the whole sexuality confusion. I think that I am bi.
I have a boyfriend but for ages I have liked this girl and we used to be best friends but we drifted apart, now she practically ignores me. I’ve only told her and another girl about my confusion, I’ve only told two girls that I like her. Basically, all the pain of missing her friendship aside, I have wanted more for ages.
It all started when she was helping me figure out my sexuality by kissing me. It didn’t help, it just made it worse and over time I developed a crush on her.
Basically over the past few days I have missed her more and more, all feelings of romance aside I miss our friendship. So I sent her a song and a message on facebook and she ignored it. So then I sent another message basically saying that I couldn’t miss her anymore, she ignored that as well. So I just sent her a message saying forget it all.
She also ignored that.
So now I still fancy her and miss her with all of my heart, I want nothing more than to get over her and to not care that we aren’t friends.
I want to not care. Just like she does.
Can anyone help? PLEASE!

I’m going through the same kind of thing right now.
She’s been my best friend since 3rd grade, the first time I switched schools.
I’ve always been there for her, and I’ve always tried to help her in any way possible. She has always been there for me.
We haven’t been as close as we used to be. But I’m starting to like her differently than I used to, as more than a friend.
Recently I’ve discovered that I’m a bisexual, and I’ve been contemplating it since 6th grade and my starting to like her has convinced me so (I have liked another girl before too).
Only my Mother and bestest friend know what my sexuality is, and who I like.
I am contemplating on ever telling her, but I’m pretty sure I should tell her in the summer, as we all part ways to different High Schools.
But I think about her a lot. We always hang out in homeroom, beg to get partnered up together for projects, the normal things best friends do. But there was this one time when she said, “I want to get partnered up with you.” a little awkwardly. And she’s been a little awkward when we’re together sometimes. I don’t know but I’ve been having my suspicions.
I read Sophia’s post, and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.
I mean it all sounds great, but I’m scared.
What if I overdue it? What if she picks up on it? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if…what if she hates me and we never become friends again…?
I need help. I need someone to say something to reassure me. I need someone to tell me if it’s a bad idea, or if everything is gonna be okay?
She doesn’t know that I’m a bisexual, and she’s not too good with keeping secrets. She may not be too smart, but she’s beautiful and funny, and she makes me feel good inside.
I still like her even if she always talks about guys, she appears to be as straight as a line, and I don’t know what to do because I go to a Catholic school and am likely to not be accepted.

So many things have been posted that are similar, but I still haven’t found one that helps me in particular. Please, if someone could personally respond to this, that would make everything better.

This has kinda become a story-sharing thread, hasn’t it?

Anyways, society tends to think that the only people that support the LGBTQ movement are people that fall into those categories themselves. But I, as a girl whom has always identified as straight, have managed to refute that belief, at least in my little town.

But now… there’s this girl. I only met her this year but she’s the most beautiful, amazing girl I’ve ever met! She’s gorgeous but she’s also incredibly smart and adorably nerdy. I think I’m in love with her. She and I are good friends, and recently she’s been very upset because she and her boyfriend just broke up. She cries to me about how much she still loves him and every time she says it it breaks my heart a little bit more.

I’m fairly sure she’s straight… and I’m terrified to tell her I like her or even that I’m bi because I can’t stand the thought of losing her as a friend. And I have so much more to lose because of my status as “that one straight LGBTQ activist”. I just.. I just don’t know what to do! I love her, but there’s no way I can tell her without losing everything!

Why do a lot of straight girls LOVE to make out and toy with lesbians?
but then when you even SUGGEST that you have any feelings for them they go running in the opposite direction…i cant seem to get a break. All these straight girls like me, and then when i say that i want to be more than just sex/make-out buddies, they’re all like, “WHAT! I’m not a lesbian!” and im like, “Ah, i think you are!”

I’m bi, yet i can still understand. I had my first ever real girlfriend in college. She just one day told me she was bi. As she said she felt she could talk to me about anything, cos i keep secrets. I don’t gossip, unlike others. Her name was Rebecca. Rebecca, only ever told ME. She said she felt too intimidated to ever tell anyone else. I kinda understand that a lot really . I told her, it’s HER choice. HER mind, and HER body. We knew we weren’t getting anywhere serious though, as we were teenagers (both age 16). It’s good for you to get it out in the open. It’s just awkward that your friend is straight. Can you write her an email or a letter? It helps if you’re too shy to tell her to her face. I normally just apply humor to it, then it feels not so awkward. Usually something like “Wow. You kinda stopped me in my tracks. Stop giving me the sexy eyes. You really are a flirt, you know that?”. That’s how my humor normally works. lol. See how she reacts. Or just keep that secret to yourself.

well my story is pretty much the same, at school I became really close to this girl in my class and we became best friends she use to be there friendly and touchy touchy but she took it as a joke but i use to be like ahh what yah doing stop it,until one day i start doing it back as a joke. we experimented a few times it was here idea even though iwas ahh na lol, then some how i start to get feelings for her then i ended up falling inlove with her. I didnt want to tell her because i didnt wanna loose her as a friend. but i wanted to know did she feel the same or was she just joking about it.
till one day i told my other best friend how i felt who told the girl i liked thinking it will be better.
when the girl i like found out she didnt freak over it all she did was told me to be myself around her because after i use to act all awks and scared. but she told everyone behind my back that i like her and she was scared of me. but she was the one still touching me up and stuff. also sometimes she to say oh im bi but me taking it as a joke.
all ever wanted to do was be friends even though deep down i want more.
then we came all good and i tld her i was over her and that but then she was telling me thar she thinks shes bi and told my friend that she was un sure.
then a year later she got a bf and we were still best mates.
then when were fighting one when we stoppped talking for a while she admitted to me after 3 years that she use to like mme. but now it was to late though even though i still have sfeelings for her. but it was just so messed up why couldnt she just tell me from the start or what ever it made me confused and feel real bad for very long time.

If you liked her I would have gone for it and in the biggest way possible. I would have invited her over and 1 other lesbian friend and I would have sat her down and right out of the blue had her watch you and the other girl start making out! Then after about 20 seconds get her involved by including her in the make out. Then after about another 20 seconds stop and the both you look at her. Then after a few seconds ask her what she thought of it. If she stumbles over her words then that your “Q” to shut her up by just you 2 frenching. Then the rest is up to you.

i’m going through the same thing and have been for almost 6 years now. since i was 11

FUCKING WHORE

SORRY….I MEANT “WHORES”

I gt u im n luv wid my fran to but i tld ha i wuz bi but she calls mi gay n sumtime a she b lik i luv u gf n b lik i lik girls ta our fran butthn she tlks about glbt ppl i dnt get ha…….n she mostly always mean to mi i try mot ta lik ha whn i try not tlkin to ha she cums ta mi n make me laugh n makes me lik ha even mo

N she is tryin ta hook mi huhp wid her cuz n now i lik both of thm but ha cuz bi

your all going through the same thing, why dont all you lezo’s hook up?

OMG! same thing with me girl only difference is my best friend knows im bisexual. She is the only person who ive told. Ive got an ex girlfriend but i didnt tell her im bi it just sort of showed. My best friend is COMPLETELY STRAIGHT, she has told me many times & its kind of bait anyway. But the reson i broke up with my ex is because she thought i was cheating on her with my best friend LOOOOL  i wish but yeah she doesnt know im secretly like madly IN LOVE WITH HER! im a tom-boy, so like our friendship seems like a straight relationship at times. Like at times when we’re out together and it starts raining she holds onto my arm like wen a girl does to a guy. She hugs me like im a guy, i drop her home right to her doorstep & wont leave till shes inside, she holds my hand sometimes to drag me along or just cos she wants to hold my hand. We take really gay pictures together i put one up as my display picture a few times thinking she would demand for it to be removed but instead she sed she loved that pic of us & she saved it. We talk for about 4hrs+ EVERY NIGHT just about random bullshit. I havent seen her in a month & havent really been speaking to her so i phoned her today & asked if she wanted to go see a film she said yes straight away & laughed at my selection of film but didnt mind. Then she asked who else is coming, i then said i havent asked anyone yet apart from u so she sed ok. She honestly is the most beautiful girl in the whole world in my eyes. Being with her makes me so so happy, hearing her voice, getting a text or just even seeing or hearing her name makes me smile. I honestly cant live without her, I’ve literally gone mad for the fact i havent seen her in a month or so. I love her so much i do so much for her she knows she means the world to me, ive told her & she says im her everything. I love her

Hey guys.
so im a 14 yr old (15 in March)girl who has a crush on the most beautiful girl (Kristen) ive ever seen in my life! just picture scarlett johansson as a freshman in high school; that would be her. shes smart, funny and beautiful in every possible way! you know how usually in class someone asks for your paper if they miss something? well she just says “can i see this for a second?” in the cutest little voice which makes me bow my head so i can answer her and not be mesmerized by her beautiful eyes! then, she takes it and ALWAYS brushes up against my arm and my heart skips a beat. she always touches me in these little ways and we always laugh together. i just cant get her out of my mind!
i started to like her when we became more friendly. ive been really flirtly with her (even in a different voice than my own) and she SEEMS to flirt back. i fell for her and acknowledged it about 2 weeks ago. alot i met her this year and we’ve been very friendly in the past month. im sure that she’s straight, but lately shes been smiling at me alot. she always smiles and bites her bottom lip playfully and you know her smiles are genuine because her eyes light up. we are in the same biology class and she sits next to me. but we recently we got new seats in english and she CHOSE to sit next to me! she couldve sat with her 3 friends in the back but didnt! i knew she wanted to know me better.
our class is doing the science fair and i was going to originally do it alone. luckily, she was thinking of not doing it with her partner because they were getting nowhere (why would she tell me this? she probably trusts me ). i invited her to help me an she said she would do it! her partner came over 2 seconds later and they split (yes!!) so now we are partners! shes coming over to my house on thursday and im so EXCITED!
i know that i sound really crazy because i basically wrote an essay on this girl, but you must understand since youve read this far . i want to ask all women (who are lesbians or not homophobic)what i should do. should i try indirect compliments to win her heart? does she trust me? i need help because im totally in love and i need advice! HELP!

please comment below for advice or email me (arit307@gmail.com) if you really want me to hear what you have to say

I’m kind of going through the same thing but, the girl I love is my beat friend and is also bi and has a boyfriend who she has been going out with for about a year she knows how I feel about her cause I stupidly told her as soon as I knew…
I’ve cried so many times about it, and today she came up to me and talked about it for the first time in about 10 months, but she wants me to get over her, but I don’t think I can do it! I see her 5-6 days a week and I always unintentionally stare at her beautiful hair or face or body ect. But she still thinks it would be best if I got over her and so do I because she has a boyfriend. But I just don’t know how. I need help…?

My current situation sounds like that of so many here. Ive just recentely discovered that im bi, but right now more into girls, and i have a major crush on my best friend but im not sure how to tell her. We are both freshman in high school and shes one of the few people that actually know im bi, but she doesnt know i have a crush on her. She is mostly straight, by that i mean that shes fooled around with a few girls but has never dated one of them and she does not intend to. And recentely shes fallen for this guy, which is good, i want her to be happy, but its making me just a little jealous. And recenty it seems like shes dropping these little hints that she might be interested in me and its driving me crazy because im not sure. Help…?

Im going through the same thing too, except Im in 8th grade. She sits right behind me in my first period class. Shes never had a boyfriend either but i think shes beautiful. Shes so quiet and shy, I wish i had the guts to actually talk to her, but sadly i dont. Im pretty much trying to get over it but I just cant :/

I’m going thru this kinda the girl knows but I have a bf

I know how you feel I have been friends with this girl for 9 years and over the past 3 years I have wanted more than friendship I want to tell her so bad but I am scared to

my opinion might have been quite the same as the rest, but i would just like to share. i experienced the same thing. it was hard. at times you try to distance yourself, at times you would try to make a move on her. it’s a struggle. time is the best treatment i would say. but waiting for that time to happen is hell. i was preoccupied with things, like studies, outdoors activities and stuff. that created distance. my feelings started to weakened, than later on feeling became neutral. try to widened your circle of friends. be in a lesbian group or something. they understand more when you share your stories.

I am experiencing the same thing. There’s this girl I like so much. I think she’s so pretty, so talented, so perfect. Seeing her makes me smile. We’re not close and she’s always surrounded by friends. I want to be always with her but when we’re together I don’t know what to do. And I’m shy because she might think I’m weird (because I’m an introvert). She’s so woooowwww. I don’t think what I feel for her is something romantic and I’m sure I’m a girl. I think all I want is for us to be best friends. But still, I’m so head over heels for her…It’s a wonderful feeling to like someone, but it can also drive one crazy. And graduation is so near and we’ll be parting ways. I’m sure time will come I’ll forget about her but right now I like her so much…I feel embarrassed of myself.

2 straight girl crushes or loves fuck my life I known my current love for yrs. she’s my bestfriend we get dirty sometimes and kiss eachother and do things that no ordinary bestfriends would do but she loves dick it sucks I know how it feels for fucks sake it’s never going to end for me lesbians n bis live the hard life

Ok. So I am a straight girl, I’ve always been with guys and thought about guys, but over I’d say the past six months I’ve been thinking about girls. Not all of the time or even sexually, other than kissing, and I don’t know if it is because I am curious or what. I have a best friend who is lesbian and also an aunt who is a lesbian. I’ve kissed a couple girls when I was really drunk but never thought anything of it. I actually thought it was kinda weird, but lately I have thought about what a relationship would be like with a girl. Is this normal? Or am I a lesbian and just don’t realize it yet? I have a boyfriend currently and I love him and am not repulsed by sex with men at all. Maybe I’m just bisexual. I have never ever even mentioned this idea to anyone else. So some help from ladies going through a similar situation would be very much appreiciated. THANK YOU!

These comments are all so similar, yet I can’t find one that sounds like my situation. So I’m in 8th grade, and I’ve known this girl since 7th. I’m pretty sure shes straight, as shes had bf’s before i met her and is currently crushing on a guy. I havent came out to anyone yet.
At first we were just friends, then best friends, and I realized that I started having feelings for her. It probably started last summer, when I went away for 2 weeks on vacation and found that I was missing her more than anything. We used to be so close last year, texting every chance we got, hanging out all the time, she’d even tell me “I love you”. But somehow this year, we’ve started to drift apart. We don’t hangout as much as we used to, don’t text as much either. I know even more now than before that I love her, she is perfection. But even so, the less time we spend together, the more pissed off I get at her. For ignoring me, slapping me (playfully), and refusing to be even slightly close to me. Shes always moving away from me at lunch, or looking at me like she wants to kill me. I ask her about later, and she says she likes doing it because shes messing with me. It doesn’t seem that way to me! Then I get upset and silence myself, tearing up in the middle of class, and she apologizes (not very sincerely) and says she was just kidding. I try to get myself together and not breakdown, smiling and saying that I was sorry for overeacting. I’d get mad at myself and her and everything and breakdown alone at home. I don’t even know why I still love her, but when I catch her in these rare moments of innocence, all I want to do is hold her and tell her everything will be ok. She has a really shitty home life, and is tearing herself apart (literally, shes broken practically every bone in her body). These kinds of thing make me want to protect her, but she hates that. ‘m sorry that this is a rant, and that half of it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know what to do. Does it sound like this friendship/crush is bad for me? Should I tell her I’m bicurious? I’ve tried to distance myself from her, but its vey hard considering 1) we have the same group of friends 2) shes in all my classes and 3) im still in love with her :/
HELP?!

how many lesbians are there in this disgusting world today? i never realized that we have so many low life lesbian pigs out there now. what is the matter, cannot make it with a man?, what a shame.

to: absolutely right says
you know for not being a lesbian, why are you on a site that involves lesbians asking questions? No one wants your comments, and the fact that you have to be little everyone else to make yourself feel better or to compensate for having such a shitty relationship yourself then maybe you need to rethink the way you are living your life, because obviously you are unhappy or you wouldn’t be on this site trying to degrade others. Lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgender,and heterosexuals and anyone else has just as much a right to happiness as anybody. It is not your place to judge or say what is right or wrong. Keep all of your negative comments to yourself and grow up.

Stuck in the same story. Enrolled in university this year, it’s been 6 months and I’m still trapped in the same dilemma. There’s this girl, I like her so much … words can not explain. Apart from her beautiful appearance, I fell for her brains. Really, she is so intelligent, sexy, she IS perfect. All of this makes me crazy, because she’s always on my mind. We’re not close friends, but we do spend a lot of time together (sit next to each other during lectures, chat and laugh a lot, sms constantly). From the heart, she is a flirty person, so I tried to analyse her behaviour when she’s around other people and she acts in the same way so I have no idea what I should aspect from it. Sometimes I give her a kiss, sometimes not … sometimes she gives me a kiss, it’s KILLING ME! I think she’s straight, but I don’t know for sure, because it’s been years she’s had a boyfriend (I think only one) I also assume she’s virgin ? When I tell her a passenger was into her, she’s like ‘eww’ although it was a very attractive men. I NEED A SOLUTION, because this problem drives me crazy in such ways that I’m planning to change to another faculty to not get in touch with her anymore, because it drives me NUTS. Does anybody have any advice ?

TO absolutely right – How many lesbians? More than your toes, fingers and penis added together AND more than you can imagine. HA! What’s the matter, you can’t make it with a straight woman so you come to a site for lesbians just hoping you can get women to talk to you even if it is to say what a jerk you are? How pathetic. Your world is “disgusting”? I don’t wonder why – it’s YOUR world. Try not to be so mean and your world might stop being so disgusting.

i have a similar story to all of you i’ve been bi for all my life ,but i’m discreet type of bi,nobody knows i’m like this exept me,so i have a very closed friend on my college years, but we parted ways when we moved in different location..anyway the story goes like this, when i’m in my 2nd year college in a medical school we have a new classmate ,she was really pretty i get attracted to her the first time i saw her,but i knew she was really straight,the moment i saw her i said to myself i wanna get closed to her,time passed and we did became bff,.at those times its really hard to be with her coz i’ve been hiding my true identity to everyone,.the feeling wherein you wanna let her know but you are bi but you can’t coz ur afraid to loose the friendship ..i cried alot of times thinking about that but i don’t have the guts..and there’s one time that she admitted that she fall for a lesbian friend before,coz that lesbian is so sweet to her..she gave me an idea that i could actually have a chance,but nothing changed,i’m still shy and not expressive, until we’ve migrated and she said goodbye tearfully..and it really breaks my heart leaving her without her knowing..when i was here it gave me a long time to forget her up until now she is still the one i’m longing for, we sometimes communicate..and those were the times that makes me happy..right now i’m slowly moving and getting rid of my feeling for her coz nothing will just changed when i continue this..so i started to have a crush for this girl but she doesnt know and even have a clue that i’m bi..so i just want to have an advice for this, coz i don’t want end up the same experience that happend to me..please gave me some an idea on what to do..

As a straight woman, I wanted to give some advice for lesbians, be 100% sure the girl you are interested in is a lesbian (as in just come right out and ask her, or at the very least find out if she has a boyfriend/husband) before you show her attention, because otherwise, all you are doing is making a fool of yourself and making the straight girl feel uncomfortable. I had a butch lesbian crack on to me at work (she wouldn’t leave me alone). When I first met her I talked to her like I do with everyone at work and I actually thought she was someone who I could get along with as a workmate, so I asked her questions about herself (i.e. how long have you worked here?) and laughed at some of her jokes, but she must have taken that as a sign that I might be interested for some reason. After about 3 days I quickly realized she is quite self-absorbed and I think if she had taken 2 seconds to stop incessantly talking about herself and actually ask me about myself, she would have quickly found out I have a boyfriend. She also started acting somewhat controlling, by laughing at me and teasing me for showing initiative in my job, who does that? She also cracks on to all the young, attractive female casual staff (who are also straight) in the same way a dirty old man would and she is only about 30 years old. Surely all lesbians aren’t this clueless and sleazy? I hope not.

TO Chenelle – Some straight women have boyfriends/husbands but that doesn’t stop them from flirting with a woman they think are into women. Heck, some even do more than flirt with a woman. Some women are bisexual so why are you just addressing this to lesbians? Why should women who like women (WWLW) have to ask a woman if she is straight or not? If you think a woman has come on to you why can’t you be direct and tell her that you are not interested? Some of you straight women come on to women even though you have a bf/h and don’t bother to tell the woman until she shows some real non-platonic interest.

Some of you straight women don’t even want to talk to a woman you suspect is into women so if a lesbian or bi-female shows interest in you, talks to you, it doesn’t always mean she is after you. If a straight woman behaved in a manner you wasn’t comfortable with then how would you deal with the situation? A straight woman could behave toward you the same way you describe for your co-worker but you take it as having to do with her being a lesbian. You have said nothing that would indicate she was doing something that related to her being interested in you in a non-platonic way. You asked her about herself and she told you. Why do you attach her talking about herself and teasing you with her sexuality?

A woman who likes women is not a “dirty old man” because she likes talking to attractive women. You said “Surely all lesbians aren’t this clueless and sleazy”. Have you been living off planet or have you been dwelling in a cave? All women are not the same AND lesbians are women so why would you even for a moment think that “all lesbians” might be clueless and sleazy”? I personally don’t get why your co-worker would even want to talk to you because from your post your personality is – chilly.

I’m SOOO confused…://
I have a major crush on my bestfriends haha, lets see my one bestfriend and my other bestfriend used to be bestfriends but they are not anymore.. And there names are Ashley and Samantha, ohkay one night me and Ashley where drinking at a bonfire like most highschool kids and what not and we just kissed..several times just for fun and Ashley knows I like girls but she did it anyways and I felt somthing but I’m not sure if she did..so I left it like that. I was really confused on what to do so I talked to Samantha about it and she seemed
To get jelouse about it cause all the sudden she starts saying ” out of all the people Katie you had to pick Ashley!? Why her! She’s gross you can do better! ” and I just laughed it off an said like who Samantha if you know everything and she says ” well Im better then then you could of kissed me but no! You like her! ” anyways he was just getting so mad, anyways confused cause maybe she was mad cause she doesn’t like Ashley and she might feel like I’m picking Ashley over her? Friend wise? Idk but I mostly like sam, and one night at her house she keeped trying to play truth or dare with me and asking me about other girls and the after I left I texted her and said ” what if I kissed you what would you have said”? And she said ” well I’m not really good at predicting the future” and I said “well thats okay cause I wasnt going to” and all she said was ” kbye” so I take it she wants me too but idk if it’s cause I kissed Ashley first and it’s just a Jelouse friend thing or if she actually likes me? Or she just wants to try it!!?? Idk but I deff like her!
& I need advice!

To Katie: Do you know if either of your friends are bi or lesbian? The way you make it sound it seems like Samantha has got a little thing for you, so go ahead and find out! Very subtly of course, straight girls get so offended if you even look at them funny.

But when you asked her what she would’ve done she didn’t give you a straight answer: which means she’s toying with you, or she actually wants you to kiss her. Only way to know is to ask good luck! Tell us how it goes…

lolol i like you Salty I’m sitting here laughing at most of your shut-down comments I completely agree with you, but um.. i’m not sure Chenelle meant to sound this offensive..
Though i find it ridiculous how all these straight people think we’ll jump on any of them. No offense girls, but you’re not that important. We should all just get along! Y’all stop playing with our emotions, we stop falling for you! Good compromise?

Im in the same situation but theres 1 little difference, idk the girl im seriously in love with very well…we’ve spoken like 1 time and tht was thanks to my friend in her year cuz shes in the year above me! idk y the hell im so crazy about her but i cat get her outta my head and i also think shes straight but idk and same as u- everything reminds me of her i just cant stop thinking of her even if i try! i jus dk wat to frickin do! and also everytime i walk past her at school i cant help but glance at her atleast 20 times! i just want 2 be friends with her xD any advice ppl? thx in advance

I have fallen for this straight girl, Kira. I think she’s straight, but she might be bi. She gets very physical with most of her other friends but not me, like she’ll butt-grope or hug someone, but avoids touching me. She doesn’t know I like girls, no one does. She talks to me a lot though, and told me she has a crush on a boy. Should I give up on her?

Kadence,
Dont give up on her, tell her about how you feel, you never know, it could lead somewhere. Just try it, sometimes it takes a lot of guts to tell someone you ve fallen for them, but it usually feels a bit better afterwards, get it off your shoulders so to speak. I know this from personal experience, i have the hugest crush on my best friend and for quite a while i just couldnt suck up enough courage to tell her, then one day i just sorta spit it out. She doesnt feel the same, but i know that i feel a lot better with her knowing. Try it, and even if it doesnt work out, there are always others out there, you ll find someone else eventually.

Alright, this is a lot more common than i thought which is kinda comforting. For me, these “feelings” started during my freshman year of highschool when i met this one girl that i ended up having a few classes with. I didnt feel anything at first, but then we started to get a little closer. The thing about her was that she plays around like a lesbian but, only jokingly. I thought i was special because she would joke around with me like that but, turns out she jokes like that with all her friends. She seems to be known for that, an she isn’t particularly girly but she is very pretty. You would think she was a lesbian because of the way she acts but she did have boyfriends before, nothing like a cover up or anything. Like she even told me of times that she made out with him at her friends house and what not. An her boyfriend was one of the hottest guys at the school. People have asked her is she was a lesbian and she says no, an i believe her but, i secretly have my doubts but i think its just me wishing and hoping. We used to text all the time durjng our freshman year, like from morning to night to the next morning everyday. Thn we didnt have any classes together the next year an she stopped texting gradually, thn not at all. I think she might have stopped because a few people started questioning her sexuality because she hang out with me a lot. Ive never admitted these feelings to anyone, nor do i look butch or act gay so im not sure why they questioned her and ppl sometimes still ask if i am and i always say no. Ive had guy crushes and girl crushes growing up and right now, and i forgot to mention im a junior now still im high school. Its hard going to school and seeing her and we give hugs and high fives and stuff just being dorks but she has no idea how much i think about her. Or how much i wish it could be. Its quite sad really and its very hard surpressing these feelings, cuz honestly i dont want to be bi or a lesbo. Its just not how i imagined my life playing out. I sometimes feel so alone an i feel like this will be my burden for a long while. My mom has even asked me if i was and i denied it, she said she would accept no matter what. What more could u ask for, right? But i dont want to be this an its pretty tough trying to find urself, now im really confused. If anyone has any advice i would be so grateful and it might help ne feel less alone. Sorry for the length

You re right, it is tough being a teen nowadays and trying to find yourself is part of the struggle. Finding your sexuality is a portion of really defining who you are, but it isnt set in stone, it can change at any time. You just have to learn not to fight it and just accept who you are. Id be lying if i said it was easy, but simply being comfortable with yourself and with who you are will make your life so much easier. Believe me on this one. I just began to find my sexuality this year (by the way im a freshman in highschool) when i started to develop feelings for my best friend. At first i seriously struggled with it, constantly telling myself that this was wrong, that it wasnt me and i needed to stop thinking these things. And after a little while i sunk into this huge depression and began to lose my sense of identity. Sounds a little dramatic typed out here but thats as close to what it felt like as i can describe. Thankfully though, my best friend, being the awesome and caring chick that she is helped me through it, and eventually i told her how i felt about her and i guess by telling her i was sorta accepting my love for her and accepting my sexuality at the same time. And since then its been pretty good. I guess my best advice for you is simply leanr to accept yourself for who you are right now, because it could change at any time in the future, you may turn out to be straight anyways in a few years, but just accept things for now and be happy with who you are.

I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some advice, and it sure is tough. I think the best bet is to take it day by day ya know. It feels really good to tell someone my story, its kinda a big thing for me because ive never told anyone, thanks again blackcat14

Its no problem at all, i love giving advice. Haha, actually some of my friends think i should be a counsler.:) and telling your story to someone seems to be part of the accepting yourself process, its a good thing to start doing. But dont tell people unless you really absolutely want them to know, think on it for a few days, but start with the people you trust the most and you think are most likely to accept you, your parents or best friend are usually good places to start. Good luck!

I have been feeling confused for a while about my sexuality and reading all this has really helped! If any of y’all want to talk, email me.

Uggghhh…this girl I’m crazy for told me she has a guy crush. We’ve become really good friends lately, and she’s started hugging me and calling me a lot. It makes me really happy that she likes me so much as a friend, but I wanted something more. Oh, and she’ll sometimes say things that make me think she loves me too. But she already likes someone. I’m in the closet, no one knows I’m a bi. Should I tell and lose her friendship, or enjoy her loving me as a really good friend?

Kadence,
Personally, i think you should tell her, if she really is a close friend then she wont care that you re bi and you ve fallen for her. And i wouldnt look to deeply into every little word she says and thinking it means she loves you, i went through the EXACT same thing when i fell in love with my best friend, i thought overanalyzed everything she said and did and i was convinced she loved me back, but when i asked her, it turned out to not be quite that way, she didnt love me back, but i was still her best friend, she wasnt just gonna push me away because i loved her, true friends dont do that, which is why i think you should tell her. If shes really your friend, the worst case scenario is that she doesnt love you back, which hurts at first, but you ll get over it, there are always others out there.

Well, i just found out we might be moving for my senior year which sucks so much. This meaning ill have to graduate with people i dont know. Plus, ill be a little depressed that i wont see my straight girl crush anymore, whom i still think about everyday. My senior year was Suppose to be the time when you enjoy the last year with ur friends, but now its going to be even more difficult because ill be going through this all on my own with strangers. Any suggestions on how to stay optimistic? Ill take anything

Well it is comforting seeing so many going through the same. I am in a real predicament! I am 40, married with kids but have been secretly pining after women since I was 13 having major long long crushes on unobtainable straight woman. It kills me at times. I have crushes on them for 2 or 3 years and never admit my feelings to anyone for fear of losing a good friend. Eventually it wears off and my feelings for some new start..

To make things worse, I have now fallen for a much younger woman in her 20s. She makes my heart sing when I am with her. I am pretty much her only friend as she is new to the area and we hang out a lot together. We text loads and chat online. Everytime my phone beeps with a message from her I am in heaven, I feel so stupid at my age! She is straight and has said she doesn’t get the whole gay thing although when we are together we just click. She texts me that she loves me, she hugs me, tells me I am amazing, we have spent a couple of drunken nights together and although nothing sexual has happened we have held each other and our gazes just seem to last a little bit too long!

i am going mad. I can’t tell her as I am sure it would scare the hell out of her. And I would rather have in my life than not even though I think about her constantly all day everyday, I can’t wait to see her and would do anything for her. I feel like a teenager again. My husband has made comments on how much time I am spending with her but I don’t think he suspects anything.

Please I just want some reassurance and advice.

I am going mad – I cry about her, I day dream about her, I live for the moments we spend together but it is making my life both heaven and hell in equal measures! This ‘crush’ is the worst although to me it is love. I didn’t ask to feel this way but I just can’t help me..

Nikki,
It could be a good thing that you will see your crush a bit less, time and a little distance really are the best way to get over someone. At first, it hurts, it really does, kind of like getting clean after drug abuse, all you want is one more hit, but it will only set you back further. So this new distance could be helpful. As for the optimism, just know that there will always be someone else out there that you will fall for, i can guarantee you that, and who knows? Maybe they will love you the same…

Christine,
First, know this, age is just a number, a label to tell how much life you ve experienced. And it sounds to me like you might be bisexual, since you say you ve had crushes on women yet you have a husband, who you must love also. Honestly though, i think you should tell her. Ya, it could scare her away, thats always a possibility, but around my friends, ive always found it easier if they know. And if shes truly a friend, she wont mind. You say that she said that she “doesnt get the whole gay thing”, that isnt saying shes against it, just that she doesnt understand. Personally id take the risk and just tell her, but thats me, in the end its your decision. Good luck!

Thanks blackcap14 for your reply..Yes I guess I am bisexual – I find men physically attractive and a good looking man with a fit body with turn my head! But I don’t really have a desire to get intimate anymore with men. I am drawn to the whole allure of some woman, their femininity , vulnerability, softness, personality etc.

I know my friend isn’t against the gay thing as she lives with a gay guy but it is more that if I tell her I’m in love with her, it would just change everything. It would just be too awkward to continue seeing her normally and then there would be no more ‘I love yous’ no more hugs etc which I couldn’t bare! The only outcome I could bare would be that she would say how wonderful and that she felt the same but that ain’t gonna happen and anything else would be too painful.

So I guess I will have to continue to live in my daydream bubble whilst thinking about the woman I am besotted by night and day and continue to try and look and live a normal hetrosexual life to everyone else.

Life isn’t fair..maybe one day, one day I will fall for someone who feels the same way as me..

I just told came out to my parents. They were really accepting about it actually. We’re Jewish, but most of our relatives are catholic. I know it doesn’t go with the topic, but how should I come out to them?
Also, thank you Blackcat14:)

Kadence,
Congrats! Nice job with telling your parents! So are you asking how you should tell your relatives? I would say the same way you did with your parents…

Im going through the same thing and Im 16 and ughh I love her sooooo much and I just feel terrible inside cause I know its never gonna work out or anything close to that and she’s just so beautiful but she;s never dated any guys before :/
I really dont know how to get over her it just druves me mad and theres no way I could possibly ask anyone in my community for help cause my family is just way to religious and so are almost all the people I live around.
It just makes things terrible for me…

Alexis,
I know how you feel about coming out in a religious community. It generally sucks no matter what religion it is. Which is the reason that very few ppl actually know that im bi. And the few that do know are family and some very well trusted friends. As for getting over your crush… distance usually helps, but how easily that can be accomplished depends on if you guys are friends or dont even know each other, sometimes its harder to avoid friends. Also, force yourself not to think about her, focus your mind on other things or pick up a new hobby maybe.

Thanks blackcat14 for ur,once again, awesome advice lol. Well i did not end of moving at the last minute, but i have kinda distanced myself from my crush and it hasn’t been so difficult lately. Im not thinking about her that much anymore, i mean i still get butterflies when i see her but im hoping that goes over time. Im trying to focus on school and what not, but thank you again and it really is nice to have people to talk to, i really like this little community that we have going on

I love this blog so much:)

It makes me feel better that everyone else is going through the same thing! Well I’m a 14 year old girl and this other chick recently came to our school. She’s my best friend’s childhood friend and the moment I met her, I fell in love with her. She is so beautiful, inside and out, she has those eyes and that loving smile.

She was really shy but after a month or so, she warmed up and it feels like I’ve known her for ages! I’m pretty sure she’s straight but she gives me hugs all the time (she does that to everyone) and she says im super cute and one of the prettiest girls she’s ever seen constantly. We chat via webcam often and she tells me that over and over again. Recently, we were hugging and she looked deeply into my eyes and pretended to give me a kiss and asked me if I had ever kissed a girl before. I was stunned and I quickly replied oh no aha.

No one knows that I’m bi but I dont know what to do with her, shes driving me crazy.

I think you should ask her if she likes you. Plain and simple, and you won’t be wondering anymore. I’m not very experienced though…

I’m going through the same thing. My friend knows that I’m bi and she’s ok with it and all, but she is one of those people who is very touchy-feely and likes to hug me and lean her head on my shoulder and stuff. She holds my hand when she’s scared. She is completely, undeniably straight though! It drives me crazy. I love her so much and have no idea what to do…

Gosh I can relate to everybody above me :-/ I fell in love with a straight girl and couldn’t get over her for two years. I just met a girl a couple of weeks ago and now she is starting to get to me too but I think she’s straight as well! >_< I don't know what to do cuz there's so many beautiful girls but nobody I meet is like me. I feel so lonely and worthless that I can't help but feel it's going to be like this for the rest of my life.

You aren’t alone:)
If you are old enough, you should try going to lesbian clubs or pride meetups. Everyone there will be like you!

Okay…someone please help me. I am in love with a friend, and because of this I have tried to end my relationship with her. She got really sad and I ended up backing down. Was ending this the right thing to do? If so, I will have no regrets in doing it.

Hey, I google-searched this and just read the first question/story at the top. I’m going through the EXACT same situation, it is actually ridiculous and I do not know how to deal with it. She is straight and I wouldn’t consider myself gay because I have only liked her and no other girl but I want to be with her.

Ok, so there is this girl that i have like since freshman year of high school. We are both juniors now and we used to text a lot but not anymore. I must be head over heels or something because i can never stop thinking about her, an it clearly isnt a phase cuz its lasted for 3 years going on 4. I always want to be with her and im always hoping. Im looking for signs tht she might also feel a certain way towards girls. I mean, shes really pretty but definately not the girliest. She doesnt dress like a dude or anything, and she jokes around like being a lesbian and stuff. But like only playfully perverted lol. Anyways i just recently started following her on twitter and the other day we ended up tweeting eachother all day non stop till like 1 in the morning. Kinda like the way we used to txt back whn we were freshman. I know thts stupid but i was just happy tht we were even talking again. We were not on bad terms or anything, we would like give eachother a hug if we passed eachother or she would smack my butt when she passed (thts wht i mean whn i say she played around like a lesbian but everyone just accepts her for it cuz she seems to hav always been tht way) my point is, no straight girl friend of mine would stay up tht late and tweet me all night. Nor did any friends of mine tht were girls used to text me until the next morning like she used to do. And im also joining a sport which she is also in, all the girls know and love her, like everyone loves her ya know. An i keep trying to keep myself from staring at her and im trying so hard not to mke it obvious. Is there anyone who can give me some advice or tips, ill take anything plzzz. I wish i could get over her but its like not gunna happen, and it hurts so much to know tht she will never be with me, or ever even know how much i want to be with her

To nicole- I am a freshmen in highschool well almost a sophmore and i really like my best friend carolina. Even typing her name makes me want to just be with her. Ive known her since middle school but i barely started talking to her this year.We just clicked because we have so much in common and we have so much fun together. Were best friends and I think shes beautiful funny n so perfect in every way. I even love her flaws. I dont think i will ever have the courage to tell her im crushing on her badly unless i get really drunk lol but for now im happ being her bestfriend and the one she always tells her secrets to. i know shes straight she loves white boys lol. I dnt think these feeling will ever go away so nicole if ur really scared to tell her how u feel u should tell her through txt its the cowardly way I know but it still works .. tell her during sumer break or something so she an have time to think about how she feels n ur probabky still be friends mayebe just maybe even more … i might even take my own advice

Good Luck

Rosa, thank you for the advice i really do appreciate it <3 i dont think ill ever build up enough courage to tell her, even through text. Mostly because she has like A LOT of friends in school and im pretty positive she would tell them whtever i said. An i know most of them as well, and then if she doesnt even feel the same way and i also possible lose her as a friend… I dont know, i dont think ill ever be ready but thank you again rosa and good luck with ur freind

I hate it, but I ALWAYS fall in love with straight girls! There’s this gorgeous girl I’ve been crushing on all year. She’s in my first hour, and I can’t help but stare at her all hour… She’s just so beautiful. The thing is, she is not only quite girly, but she dates all of the most attractive guys in the school! There’s no way she isn’t straight. This is going to sound stereotype-y, but she just isn’t the kind of person that could be secretly lesbian or bisexual.

This sucks.

Ur welcome Nicole … i just found out that my girl crush has never kissed anyone before which is so supprisng because she so beautiful. We went to this party and i was getting this weird vibe that she might maybe like me more then a bestfriend. She kept “cleaning her hands” on my leg and when we sat down on a couch she sat really close to me and layed ur head on my shoulders. we had a nice talk about life lol when i told her she needed a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something she hesitated and said a boyfriend so i guess shes straigh…. idk im confused but as long as were besties and i can spend time with each other im glad

hi I think I have the same problem.. I have been feeling attracted towards one of my best friends, Megan. she’s had one boyfriend, but they never kissed or anything. whenever I see her, I get butterflies and I’ve been getting these random urges to hug or kiss her. I feel like she might like me because alot of times it seems like she’s flirting with me and a couple of days ago at the pool, she kept pulling down her bathing suit top a bit and smiling at me. PLEASE HELP

I have the same problem..I have this huge crush on one of my best friends and it sucks. I kindof knew I had a small crush on her all year but just recently we were on chat roulett,(this video chatting site where you chat with strangers) and we started pretending to makeout because the guys we were chatting with wanted us too, but then she kept on wanting to do it and I knew that something was kindof up. Then she told a few of our friends that when we were doing that, she actually wanted to kiss me for real. and when we were at my friends birthday party she told me she had something to tell me and made it seem kindof like a big deal. Soo I got really happy and got my hopes up wayy to much, and my crush got wayy bigger, but then she said that it was just a one time thing and that she doesnt feel that way anymore so i died a little inside. But the worst part is, is that shes one of those people whos jokingly perverted and it just drives me crazy. And sometimes I think she does it more to me then our other friends but i don’t know if I’m just making it u in my head or what. anyway some advice would be GREAT :/

btw she knows that i’m bi

I had been in love with my best friend too but time really does heal and now i have completely shut her out of my life. She’s straight i know no fuss about it. I’m moving on and i didn’t even tell her I’m a lesbian by its easier for me this way i guess.

Rosa,
If anything i would totally take that as a good chance that somethings possible. I’d say the best thing to do would be to let it happen all in good time. Cuz some feelings might be developing there i really hope it works out for you, and if not then you still have her as a bestie fingers crossed

If i wasn’t going through the same thing, I wouldn’t be here right nw. But sadly, I am. I’ve been in love with this girl for a little over a year now, and its really getting to me.
A couple of days ago, at my school graduation ceremony, she wasn’t there. And I wasn’t thinking about her for the first time in months! I had thought I was getting over her. I didn’t have to constantly text her, or hear her voice.
On the wall at the front of the auditorium they started to show a slideshow of pictures from throughout the shcool year. I was tearing up little. Then, they showed a picture of her. And my heart literally stopped. I coudln’t have been over her, I realized. I still loved her. It was so overwhelming.
I’m almost positive I don’t want to tell her. That would be a terrifying way to start off my freshman year! I know I’m not lesbian, I’m only bi-curious. Mostly for her.
Suggestions?
Best wishes to all of you!

I was in the same position not too long ago, I fell in love with her and was scared to tell her because I didn’t kno what she would think, I just kept saying stuff like have you ever wanted to tell somebody something so bad but you just can’t get the guts, and she finally figured it out. We texted everyday and talks all the time and she finally told me she felt the same way about me 2 weeks later and we have been together ever since. Wee been going strong and in love for 10 months now and I wouldn’t trade her for the world!!

I am in the same boat I am in love with the same woman I have loved since I was 10 I am now in my 40′s. She was the first girl I ever crushed on, and I couldn’t forget her. In all the years since I have liked women there has been none that compare to her. We were in different circles in school, but every time she would be near or walk by I thought my heart would jump out of my chest. She takes my breath away, every women I have liked or loved I tried to find her. I look for that same sparkle in their eyes & smile that she has. I finally told her my feelings a few months ago. She was flattered, but said she was straight, and she hoped I could find someone to share my life with. Knife in heart. We have became closer since I told her how I felt, I feel vibes, but then she says something that once again feels like a knife in my heart to kill them! I am usually right on with my gaydar, and I still feel she is bi, but she says she isn’t. She is in a bad marriage, and I ask her if she thought of being with another man, and she said no there isn’t any good guys out there, but if I did it would be with a man. Another knife in heart.

I don’t want to lose her out of my life, I am very expressive with my feelings & I don’t want to scare her away, she said it doesn’t bother her. I know she must like the attention she is married to a real loser. I tell her how beautiful she is all the time. I hang on to every word she says, and when she texts or calls me my heart is so excited I can’t breathe.

I just don’t know how to stop loving someone I have loved for so long. I feel like a fool! I thought if I told her how I have felt all these years she would fall in love with me I lived in a fairytale. I was sure she liked women. I have a friend that was in the same boat as I, and her dream came true with the woman she has loved since she was 19 came true they are together now.

When I told this woman how I felt she started calling & texting me more, she even said I should buy a house where she lives. I thought I was going to die, I think I heart angels singing. I just don’t know how she could want me near her when she told me to forget her in that way, knowing if I moved next to her I couldn’t forget her.

I think I will go to my grave loving her.

I have finally gotten over the straight girl I loved!
On the last day of school, I told her that I used to have a crush on her, in complete honesty. I couldnt ever have her, do the only thing to do was move on. It’s possible! I thought she was the only one, but now I am with someone else. It probably won’t be the last time I love a straight girl though:(

Lol my situation is worse, im a senior in high and i met this gal, but at the same i was dating this other girl (5yrs together). I fell 4 this straight and i started focusin more on her then my relationship my gf dumped and i did nothing to get her back because i liked that straight, i told her i liked, and she stopped hangin out with me, after two weeks i confronted her bout it and she told me that she had friend zoned me, that broke my heart, as i was about to accept it that we could never be more than friends, she started kissing me and asking if i would make love to her. But we never did because she has a bf. Lately she found i have a gf now shes not talkin to me when i asked her why she told me she loves me. So have patience fellow lesbians

hi everyone

hi, i’m from colombia and i have a big problem
i need some advice: I have a relationship of 5 years with my girlfriend and we live 2gether. but i think her cousin is in love with me. when we r 2gether she keep looking at me and she loves 2 touch me. i always get expensive gifts from her. is this normal?

Hi,
I’m going through sort of the same thing. So I sorta always new that I was bisexual but only have just come out to some of my closest friends. But what made it obvious to myself that I was bi was that I started liking a girl that was probably straight. Problem is she’s 2 years older than me and Year 10 and Year 8 is not considered normal. She goe’s to my school and I really really like her. We hardly ever speak, literally never and she’s not even a friend but I feel not only physically attracted but emotionally too. She seems like a really nice person. It would seem weird if I approached her though. Please help me, I don’t know what to do…. This is my first experience of this.

@ MechanicalDummy on July 19, 2012 @ 12:09 pm Your story is such bullshit. Straight girl is probably looking for attention as always.

well atleast ur her friend seriously i had a crush on a girl who thinks im a complete bitch and i guess since its been 3 years im over her but yeah sometimes straight girls especially best frends can some how experiment with some lesbian stuff just try playing around with her tell her that you know another girl that is going through this problem and that she needs advice but you dont know what to tell her. everybody thought i was straight but im not no matter how much my parents dont support me i know i will always like girls… and @ julie… no straight girl is gnna lie and say shes bi or lesbian because face it why the fuck would she do tht….. isnt tht gnna ruin her reputation or someshit

another thing u can do… ask her if she ever kissed a girl b4 if she says no ask her if she wants to…. or you can give her some ecstasy and c wat happens XD

( . )( . ) is better than C=====3!!!!! some how..

I feel the exact same way. only I’m an 8th grader and this irreversable love is totally new and difficult….

I’m 13 and in 8th grade. I’m in love with my bestfriend of almost 2 years. I’m pretty sure she’s straight, but that won’t stop me from loving her. There’s this guy that likes her and today he said thay he’s going to askher out. She told me that she likes him back and that made me feel like crap. Everyone is telling her to say no, but I’m pretty sure she’s goig to say yes. The guy that she likes is annoying and everyone knows that. I know I need to get over her because if I don’t, I know i’m just going to get my heart broken. I talk and text her everyday, so trying to seperate myself from her is NOT an option. She’s told me that she loves me, but I know that it’s not like that. I would do anything for her! Know one knows that I like girls. I need some advice on how to get over her. Please help!

There’s a girl that I REALLY like who’s a friend. She likes some guy that I hate and he’s a total jerk. I can’t get her out of my mind. We’ve been friends for 3 years and it was just last January that we started to get to know eachother. There were a few occasions at like slumber parties and stuff where she would hold my hand, snuggle, kiss my cheek, or just make these random lesbian jokes. I don’t think she really means any of it, but over all this time she got me to accidently fall in love with her. (which isn’t really her fault since she’s amazing and all)I don’t know what to do.

Hey ladies. I have the same problem. I used to verbally fight with this girl everyday, but in the 2nd term I fell in love with her. She invited me for a sleepover , but I refused because I was afraid of what I would try and do. She the said ” I’m so beautiful” she hugged me everyday and said she loves me one day she kissed me on the neck. *best day* she then asked me to be her best friend. I really like her, but I’m into boys and I hope I don’t turn out to be a lesbain

I have the same problem to this girl I like in all in my classes she is Mexican her name is Jocelyn I know I’m in love with her because we stare at each other in our classes but we never talk but after school I ride the bus then I go to her house she acts so different around me at home when she is at home she flirts with me all the time the way she flirts is so sexy so she is totally straight but one time we almost kissed because we would bite each other necks and wrestle each other which is amazing she’s the only girl that makes me happy but after that day that happend at her house we didn’t talk again in my suggestion I think she felt something so she decide to take it away by not talking to each other at all what so ever so I had wished I have never did that because then she would still be talking to me . My auntie had said don’t let that effect you because it’s not bad show her your stronger and powerful then Her

I hope that answered your question good luck c:

I’m going through exactly what you’re going through! I can’t stop

I have a crush on a girl who I never spoken to in my whole life. All I know is she hangs out with highly religious people yet doesn’t seem to be too religious herself. My friends all know I like her so they try and force me to talk to her by either pushing me towards her or bringing her to me. The problem is we are both really shy and awkward. Although I expected to be able to just have a simple conversation with her I can’t do it.. So I wrote her a letter with some of my thoughts. She told my friend she would reply but I know she probably won’t.. And as much as I feel I should be ok with that I think about her way more than I think I should and write songs about her. I’m just so helpless right now.. But I’m keeping my head up. Hopefully she’ll reply..

I wanna say….darling SHE IS into you….sorry but girls don’t say ” you looked so hot last night” unless its SOOO obvious – like my bf and I – like love ya!. Usually if I tell her she looked hot it was before…did you score any boys?? This girl definitely wants you….Have you extended eye contact with her?

As I read the numerous postings on this page, I see how common this falling in love with a straight girl problem really is for us gay women. I’m no different. I’m considered an older, wiser lesbian now — really no different from my younger sisters, because I, too, struggle, to this day, with falling in love with my straight friends. It never ends. You can make up all kinds of rules and boundaries, but when it happens, and you didn’t see it coming, and it hits you upside your head like a 2 x 4, I often think that the cosmos is having its way with me again, whether I like it or not. As a practicing astrologer, I can tell you that I’ve noticed that there are some souls you are bound to meet up with, connect with, and finish old business with in this lifetime. Whether we choose it or not, they cross our paths. Like now. For the second time in two years, I fell hard for a brilliant woman, and I’m in a long-term relationship. The first time I fell for a straight woman, it almost destroyed my current relationship, and before you can say, “well maybe you needed to leave your current partner, and it may be time for changes…” believe me I thought of this. It’s not a trade off. I love my partner because she’s also brilliant, talented and just as attractive as the other two I fell for. It never ends…. IT NEVER ENDS!! So, I had to figure out what this current attraction has to do with my life, and what is being asked of me.

She loves me, she hugs me, she kisses me (within boundaries), and the draw or attraction to confide in each other, do things together is very present and very strong for both of us. So, I just turned it over to my Higher Power, and requested that I hang in there, see this through, and not get sidetracked into believing that she’s all of a sudden going to turn gay, run away with me, and let me make passionate love to her. LOL! But to be fair to you, I should tell you that I think she backed away from me because these maybe “new feelings” came up for her. She’s three time divorced, raising a beautiful teenage son on her own, lost her father and her brother within a few years, and is rearranging her life now. She pulled me in. Maybe just to read her “chart” and let her know what’s up. And so it goes…just thought I’d share my story with you. Hang in there, everyone.

i feel ya. i’m in the same place. fell for my best friend, was pretty sure she was straight but she flirted with me A LOT.i finally told her about my feelings and she said she was flattered but straight. things were totally normal after that and we still flirt each other’s pants off in the most metaphorical of senses.

Haha Alex, I really enjoyed your last line. The first time I “read” my friend’s chart, she came over the house and planted a sweet, (but all too brief), kiss on my mouth. I felt that for days. I didn’t want to wash my mouth, you know? I think straight girls just kiss each other on the mouth and think nothing of it. I’ve had to do a lot of emotional backing away, because it doesn’t help to keep having these fantasies about her. Oh well, it’s hard when we are “wired” differently than our straight friends. But sometimes I feel that the joke is on us…

Don’t know how I got to this forum, but since I’m here…lol

I’m a(straight) guy. 23. And I support. I don’t really care which side of the fence your tastes are on, I’m cool with it. But if your going to be on what most of the world thinks is the “wrong” side(gay/lezbo), then just do it. Step up and own that shit. If someone has anything to say tell’em to suck it. Even if you don’T got one. The only thing in life that matters is what YOU want. Sure it’s nice to be considerate of others, as you should be, but when it comes to who you are and who you want to be, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Sort of short and abrupt…meh. You lady’s get the idea.
Have a nice day

I’m 30. She’s 40. We’re both straight yet over the last year I’ve become obsessed with her. We’re not best friends but we are friends. We’ve got closer and I try to see her when I can. I can’t find anyone to confide it and its driving me crazy. I’ve had crushes on women before but I’ve also been madly in love with a man. I don’t really know what I am or how I feel. My friends would be fine but it would really upset my mum. It’s so incredibly unlikely that she would ever love me like I want her to but yet I cling to hope. It’s like others have said- it started with an incredible hug. She is so inspiring, so radiant and I think she’s beautiful. I get tongue tied around her and I always feel like I’m saying something stupid. Yet I go out of my way to try and talk to her. I get sad if I know I’m missing out on something – thanks Facebook!! I have little fantasies in my head about how we’d get together and then I’m sad when its not real. I’ve tried dating sites, anything to try and meet someone else, A man who I can fall in love with and just have her as a friend like she wants. But it’s just not happening and all I want is her. I can occasionally talk myself out of it but then it comes back stronger. I know one option would be to keep away from her, but aside from the fact I’d find it too hard, friends would think it very odd. I’m surprised no ones guessed! But I guess because its so far fetched they wouldn’t even think it!!! So the only thing I can do is keep trying to get closer to her and maybe be brave enough to tell a friend. I think if I ever say it out loud ill realise how ridiculous I’m being. so if I can’t say it anywhere else – I love you Jac.

I’m a 16 year old gal who can’t move on from my previous relationship with a 16 year old gal. We had some good times we dated 4 1 year and a half. It came to a point where she confessed and told me she really really loves me. She was str8 or still is. But we were 2getha. In grade 9 she chose some boy over me and told me the only reason she’s been with me is to keep me alive(I’m suicidal)so now I can’t sleep_i cry when I go 2 bed. I don’t know. My heart is with her. It’s weird coz I never considered myself bi. I refuse all boys who wanna date me. I’m lost,confused and I don’t know who 2 speak 2. If u have any queries plz comment

Okay this is long_i met this gal Nazy in grade 6 we weren’t close or anything yet. Grade 7 I noticed that I am developing some feelings 4 her which was weird coz I was straight. Then she used 2 kiss me tell me she loves me and a day came where she asked me out. I was sooo happy. I said yes and we made out on her bday 4 the 1st time. Grade 7 ended and we parted only 2 find she was in my highschool too. We got close again and we made out on camp. We were sooo close. But then we broke up:(grade 9 came and I was lonely as ever. I mean I used 2 watch the way she talks, the way she laughs_it just made my heart smile. May 2012 I kissed with this gal. She found out and got mad which is wrong coz we weren’t dating anymore. June 2012 I kissed this boy and she got mad again. We didn’t speak since then. I moved out of that school coz I couldn’t deal with seeing her and she just broke my heart. She looked at me as if I was nothing. I think about her still and I can’t move on. Coz of my shit I lost her. When I see her I can’t even explain the feeling. She chose a boy over me and said I was nothing 2 her but a piece of dirt. Till this day she still crosses my mind and I still L??? her_but I cry at night and I can’t move on!!!#plzhelp! I can’t speak 2 anyone. What’s should I so___sorry 4 length