To young to commit
Ok, I am sixteen, before I get any further. I have been dating my first girlfriend for almost two years now. We have a great relationship, in that we are best friends, have never really had an argument, and have great sex. Although I had flirted with and kissed girls before her, she is my first real girlfriend. Everything is great, except that the other day she mentioned to me that she wants to get an apartment as soon as we graduate in two years, and seems to be keeping where I want to go to college in mind for where she should go. She acts like we are going to be together forever. I do love her, and yet I feel like she is asking for a level of commitment that I am not prepared for. She is an almost fragile person and I don’t want to hurt her feelings if I don’t have to. Although the idea of going to college together sounds great now, I don’t know how I’ll feel in the future, and I wish she wouldn’t make plans that she might have trouble unmaking. I haven’t even been with another woman, so I don’t know if what I feel for her is real. Should I tell her how I’m feeling, or wait and see what happens?
I had the same situation!!! and this will go on and on until you decide to do something about it… you should talk to her.. and tell her to live day by day, without making plans about the future… because it is not written in stone and you never know what can happen.. tell her the truth.. that you’re still very young and that kind of commitment is way to much for both of you.
Just keep this in mind.. the longer you let her dream, the harder it will be to wake her up… so gather all ur confidence and SPEAk.
PD: Sorry if i have a bad english… i’m not a native speaker.. :S but i hope everything goes ok.
Hope you don’t mind when old people tell you how mature you are, but I have to say: you’re speaking from more than 16 years of wisdom!
I do think it would be very wise of her not to put all her eggs in the you-basket yet, because you’re right – 16 is young. I had a 12-year-long crush on a girl (!) who seemed like the most amazing person on earth… until I got to college and found hundreds like her. So it’s wise for you both to see a broader world before making any big firm decisions.
On the other hand, I did meet my one-and-only at 20, and she’s the only one I’ve ever Been with. I was the one who was slow to believe that she should count on us definitely being together forever, but she was right… 20 years later we’re crazy-happy together. So it’s not that you need age and sexual experience, but I think what matters is just getting a chance to see and mingle some outside the circles that you are stuck in while you’re at home and in high school.
Anyway, how to convince her to keep far-future options open without upsetting her too much is a really, really good question. All I can think of is to mix it with some romantic demonstration that you are happy with her now and are not planning a breakup.
i think you should wait and see what happens, your only sixteen! i’m twenty-one and i hardly remember my relationship from back then. your plans are going to change drastically between now and the time you graduate