Emotion confusion
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Um, hello. I’ve been having confused feelings since… I don’t really know anymore, but I do know that I’m bisexual, with more preference for the same sex. I’m posting here, as I really have no one to talk to about this (well, there’s my ‘best’ friend, but she isn’t much of a help at all), so I’m hoping for some advices.
I’ll be sharing three stories. They may be long, but please bear with me.
First:
I have a friend whom I treat as a sister. We’ve been close since second year of high school, and we had such a strong bond. Yes, ‘had’; when we were in third year, that bond kinda broke in a way because I stopped paying attention to her due to my jealousy — she was spending lots of time with the others while practically ignoring me. We eventually made up on her birthday, but things were never the same again. Then fourth year came. I started missing her and our sisterly bond. I was in a relationship with my ‘best’ friend during that time (turns out that I was never really in love with her), and yet all I could think about was my sister; she was the one I put first before my own girlfriend, which made le gf really jealous. She even accused me of being in love with le sister, yet I denied it. I just know I’m not — I really just see her as a sister and nothing more than that. Up to now, even though we’re in college in different universities, my feelings haven’t changed, and am now questioning myself whether I am in love with my sister or not. I’m pretty sure that she’s straight, but ex gf told me that she had seen le sister looking at me a lot during fourth year days (especially when I was with ex gf and one other girl that I’m close to, or so she says). I want to know what it means. Something inside me says that, maybe, she misses our bond as well but is just not saying it. Or perhaps she has special feelings me. Oh yeah, I asked her about that looking thing, by the way, and she said that she wasn’t. But somehow, I believe she’s being in denial. What do you guys think? About my feelings and hers? I would ask her how she sees me and stuff, but I’m just too shy.
Second:
Well, there’s this girl whom I thought I was in love with. She’s my blockmate and I felt a spark when I first laid eyes on her. It’s been three months now and we’ve become rather good friends, but lately, I haven’t been feeling the same thing that I did before. Is this simply an infatuation? Oh, I guess I should also say that I’m not certain if she’s straight or bi, and she too stares/looks at me quite a lot.
Last:
There’s this other girl in class. I noticed her on the first day because she’s very pretty, but I didn’t pay any attention to her because… well, I dunno. I thought I didn’t like her personality. Then recently, I started noticing her staring at me; I actually caught her once, and there was a time when I just saw it through the corner of my eye or something. This may sound weird, but I think I’ve developed a crush on her; for some reason, I like how she looks at me. Maybe it’s because she’s really just pretty, yet I’m not sure if that’s all. I know I don’t have a chance, as she already has a boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she’s straight; however, is it possible that those stares, well, mean something (positive)? I don’t think we’ve ever talked, so could it be that she wants to be friends? If she did, she could’ve sent a friend request on Facebook or something…
Is it wrong for me to feel like this? Yep, really confused here… Oh those girls and their looks. And my silly imagination. -.-
By the way, I’m seventeen… if that matters.
PlanetSappho.com
hey, it’s tough. I know, it must be tough for you to go through this. Think about it, normal girls go through the thoughts of stressing over boys, and then there are us gays who kinda suffer our pain in silence. But for you, I think you many step ahead of the games because you already sure about yourself, and just wondering about your crush.
I know this might sound stupid, but I think sometime, you just have to go out and say it. Just ask. what do you have left to lose? your both at different univeristy, this whole “staring.. and looking” has gone pretty long enough. Just ask her how she feels about you?
If she turns you down, and say she never saw you in that light, then just move on. YOur at a univeristy, there are plenty of girls there.. You’ll be okay. But if you never speak up, you spent the rest of college dealing this issue.
Just ask her how she feels about you. so, you can hurry up and move on with your life. Whether that is being with her, or just forgeting abuot her, do it soon. You can’t really want forever for this girl.
I know you like her, and I know you care so much that your frienship between you two are never going to be the same. But to be honest, you already have feelings for her. It was always different in the first place. She knows it too.
It’s really hard. but i wish you well regardless of the outcome. And just know that, if things don’t go the way you expected and you ended up with your heartbroken, just know everything happens for a reason, and you’ll be okay. You’ll be happy again.
We’re pretty much all confused, at least some of the time, so you’re not alone. It’s not wrong to have feelings. I think sometimes girls look at each other because they simply like what they see (we all like pretty faces), because that person looks familiar, or maybe because they’re looking for something and want that person’s attention. You never know. I guess that’s why we play games, because we become too vulnerable if we start asking questions. I think you may be able to find out how she feels without putting yourself out there. Best of luck.
It’s probably your imagination.
People look at each other, its apart of non verbal communication. Your better off putting yourself out there and see where it leads. How will you know? Over thinking can get the best of you.