Yep, your situation stinks. Based, on what you’ve described I would say that yes, you are most likely gay (welcome!). Now, you have choices. First, remember that there is no law that says you have to come out, especially not that you have to come out to your parents. You come out when you’re ready and it’s safe. Also remember that a “safe situation” doesn’t just mean one where you won’t be physically abused, it refers to verbal and emotional abuse too. Because it seems like your mom might abuse you in a non-physical way, it probably isn’t safe to come out to her until you are a bit more independent (maybe in college).

Although it’s probably the safest thing for you to do, it does stink because it means you have to be super careful. My advice would be don’t lie to her, just don’t tell her the truth. This means you don’t have to date any more guys, you don’t have to pretend to be interested, just don’t talk to her about girls. There might come a time when she realizes something’s up. If you haven’t been single for a long time before and suddenly are, she might even ask. If she does I would say then you can sort-of lie. Something like “I want to be my own woman, not be too dependent on a boy” or “There just isn’t anyone I like right now.” If she ever asks you if you are lesbian (and she may or may not), it’ll be up to you to decide if you think the time’s right and need to come out.

While she doesn’t know though, you will have to stay in the closet. I would say a couple very close, trustworthy friends can know, but no one else. If you want to date, it will probably have to be kept a secret. The thing is, you just really don’t want her to find out from someone else.

Remember that even though it’s really hard right now, it will get better. Good luck!