Am i a lesbian?

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so um i think im lesbian but idk… heres the deal..
so ive had like 4 bfs and with all of them i feel all awkward when they were like trying to flirt with me and i didnt know what to say cause it just felt weird.. and then when they were like making out with me or whatever and i didnt like it like at all like it felt wrong idk how to explain it.. and my last bf was like really hot by most girls standards and he was totally my type and yet when he brought up possibly having sex just thinking about it disgusted me. it was more than “im not ready to have sex yet” it was more like “i dont think im ever going to want to have sex with guy”.. and i have a ton of bisexual friends and two of them as a joke pretend like theyre my gf and stuff but its just in a joking way and i find myself almost wishing it wasnt a joke like i want them to kiss me and shit.. so yea.. i think that most likely means im a lesbian.. but i cant be my mom will never accept that shes completely like homophobic or whatever if i am lesbian and come out and tell her she will do anything she can to convince me otherwise and probably never accept it.. and since im 15 and have to live with her for a few years yet thats sort of a big deal.. so yea i dont know what to do…. please help >.<

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