This is the thing…

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I’m almost 18, I have had two boyfriends since I was 13. The first was on and off until I was mid-way between 16 and 17, it was a bad relationship, but my first, so I clung on. The second, my current boyfriend, I’ve been with since a few months after the first, so it’s been over a year. My boyfriend is lovely, he’s sweet and thoughtful and he’s cute. He treats me the way he should as well. And we love one another. He keeps me happy in every way, so I’m never even unsatisfied in bed nevermind in our relationship.

That part in particular leaves me stumped as to why I then continue to dream about girls. I dream all the time about girls, and in the dream I’m always fascinated by them, appreciating their beauty, their girly-ness. They give me a notion of forbidden fruit, something I feel I’ll never taste or touch.

Now these dreams have recurred ever since I was with my first boyfriend years ago. And as a little girlĀ  I’d get all excited about girls just as I would boys. I’ve always appreciated and almost relished in the thought of touching another girl’s body, just to run my hands over the curves and the smooth, soft skin.

Now don’t let that lead you to think that I don’t appreciate males. My boyfriend’s body is no female’s body, he’s rougher and hairier and he doesn’t have ‘curves’. Yet I still love it.

It strikes me that I’m just bi-sexual. But I have no method by which to tell. Is it important that I test this out in my life? Bearing in mind that I cannot see past this relationship into another or being single again. I know that I’m young but I don’t befriend people well, I certainly don’t trust others easily. And my honeybear and I are happy, really happy. So I don’t see any need to imagine life without him. Is there anything I can do that might help me get a certain feeling about this bi-sexuality thing?

Thanks. :)

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