Feeling sooo alone~
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I am a bisexual. Certainly have had bfs and also had a gf (femme gf) back in college before (other than history of dating two butches and one soft-butch (andro)).Told my sister and a couple of close friends bout it last time but not in a confession manner; more like I was simply telling them out of the blues, so they didn’t take me seriously.
Currently I’m in a relationship with a butch, we have a perfect relationship. We have been together since Feb this year and I cherished each moment with my partner. Had a tough time trying to get her into my circle of friends when we first dated, despite the fact that I told them about my previous gf and also they’ve met my ex gf. My sister especially appeared in denial when I tried to inform her about my partner, coz I once brought my ex gf (the femme one) home, and she saw us. Eventually, all of them accepted her and like her as well. However, whenever we got into arguments, and ended up needing our spaces, I always felt alone. It still feels like I have no one to talk to, about our relationship and problems. My partner has a lesbian circle of close friend , who I am gradually getting to know, not so close to me but they are the people we always hang out with and I feel comfortable being myself, being a bi and not having to cover my sexuality and I’m not afraid to show affection to my gf in front of them (of course). Unlike when I’m with my friends. However, when we got into fights, I have no one to turn to, not even those people because they will obviously want to listen to her side of her story first and console her. It is unfair for me and I don’t know what would they think about me.
I feel suffocated. I’m not really seeking for advise. I am just sharing how lonely it can be or feel and I hope TLQ will be the site for me to talk and share my experience and get advises from.I just wish I have at least a couple of friends who are really open-minded and not feeling disgusted if I tell them my same-sex relationship problem.
PlanetSappho.com
Dear Poppy,
I know about feeling alone. I have the same feeling so often. It just seems like the people you should be able to talk to are the very ones who would not really understand. It might be because they are too close. It could be that they are pretty stuck in their opinions, and you already feel that you know what they are going to say. It doesn’t matter why, really, but you do need someone to talk to.
If you want, you can write to me, and I will be glad to be a listener. Someone did that for me years ago, and we are still great friends. I have to warn you that I’m an older woman, and also that I live in the USA, so we are probably not close in distance. But whatever I can do by email, I would be glad to. jjgardenia@gmail.com