Age: 20
I was 17 when I thought I might not be straight.
I mainly use bi-sexual but usually don’t like to be labelled.
In the past my sexuality was never questioned, so straight I guess.
I’m out to everybody.
The hardest person to come out to was my twin – we are extremely close but they are religious whereas I am not so it was quite difficult for them to understand. We’re never better now & they get on with my girlfriend!
Errmm…I have had ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’ muttered at me & quite a few disgusted stares but apart from that I’ve been quite lucky compared to others I’ve spoken to.
Nope, no physical harassment.
I realised I could have feelings for girls at 17 but was never really sure – met my girlfriend at 19 and that made me 100% sure that I must be bisexual at least (probably leaning more towards gay as I’ve never felt as strongly towards men)

Hope this helps a little bit!

Hi Joan,
I’m a writer also, so I had to chime in for you. lol
Age-50′s
Coming out age is difficult-I probably knew from age 12, but tried so hard to do what my parents expected, so I guess I came out to myself around age 34, and finally to everyone else about 38.
Label-Lesbian, femme
I am all out except at work, where I have to be major league in the closet.
The hardest people to come out to were my children.
Name calling-yes. It’s quite funny, because I have almost always lived in the south, and expecting a problem, never really had one. I went to live for a period of time in NYC, however, and as I was driving down the road one day, a group of guys shouted at me, “Fag!” I laughed so hard. I thought at least they could have called me a dyke, and gotten the gender right. It really stopped my laughing, though, when a young woman was killed in another area of NYC not long after because she was a lesbian. I’m not knocking NY. I loved living there in many ways. It was very accepting. I didn’t have to be closeted there at all. I could bring my partner to work if I wanted to.
I have never been harassed because of my sexuality.
A story…well, just a couple blips…
-When I came out to my parents, they sent my letter to my ex husband to try to help him get my children, because they felt that I was going to raise my children to a sinful life. Even though they knew he was a lousy excuse for a human being. That’s one example of a horrible outcome.
_When I met my first gf online, I didn’t realize that women could be really lousy, just as men can. So my first experience was with a user who I stupidly stuck with for a few years until she started to become physically abusive.
There’s another example of the negative type of thing a just coming out lesbian can experience, no matter what her age is.
But the main thing is, a woman is much more comfortable in herself, in her skin, being true to what she is and living in a way she herself can respect. It’s worth whatever you have to go through. To have the love of a good woman is worth more than anything, excepting the love of your children.
The happy ending is that now I have both, and though it was hard won, it really can happen.
Also, I am writing a non-interactive, rather plain old lesbian memoir about my life, so please don’t be surprised to see the same stories later somewhere. I won’t be a big, nasty plagiarizer, I will only be me. lol
I also invite other lesbian writers to make a deal with me to do a critique for each other, if anyone is ever interested.
Just comment back to me, and I will send you an email address.

Age: 15 (Sophomore in High School)

I realized I wasn’t straight two years ago but I ignored it earlier that year since I didn’t want to be seen as “Bisexual” or “Lesbian”. I found that I was bi-curious though and eventually started to joke to myself secretly about meeting a girl in high school. the next year I did and finally found myself to be possibly bi.

I don’t really care about how I’m labeled since my aunt and my younger brother both state that I’m a lesbian rather than bisexual. I usually go with bisexual though.

Straight, Transgender,Straight, Bi-curious, Lesbian, Bisexual, Straight, Bisexual

I’m out to most of my family from my mother’s side but not out to my father or his side of the family…he doesn’t approve of any girlxgirl or guyxguy and I don’t want to disappoint him since I’m a girl. I’ve tried dating a guy I’ve found mutual attraction with but broke it off eventually since I felt more for a girl and felt too guilty to stay with him due to those feelings.

My father will be the hardest to come out to since he wants me to marry a man when I get older rather than a girl. It was also hard to come out to a friend of mine who doesn’t approve of any girlxgirl and guyxguy either just like my father, but she guessed my orientation, found out who my crush was/is, and has supported me. I find it odd when she asks me if I’ve been alright with my crush though and usually end up stuttering. It was also hard to come out to my crush and say that I liked her but I didn’t do that in the end…a friend of mine did instead, breaking our promise to keep my crush a secret and never tell her my feelings;;

No I have not unless it’s my younger brother making fun of me, tending to call me a retarded fag.

Nope. Not too many people at my school knows and I tend to keep it that way, even though word has gotten around to a few freshman kids I know. They’re starting to annoy me though since they keep asking the freshman kids who are actually close to me if I am bisexual or a lesbian or if they know that I am. Anyways, I have a short temper that people don’t really know about since I tend to be a real happy, easy going, carefree girl. I’m sure I’d end up getting into a fight if someone really wanted to physically harass me, but that’s highly unlikely since I’m a pretty nice kid too.

I wouldn’t mind, but it depends on those yes’s and how much detail you want. Nothing bad has really happened with me about my orientation though, and I’m sure I gave some detail anyways.

It took me about two to four years since I knew I did look at girls but I thought it was fine…and then I started to think more sexually as the years passed and now I’m thinking that I’m sure I can come to a conclusion. I kept on saying I was a lesbian last year since I never really had a crush on a guy for too long…they would last for at least one hour at least two years and a half at most. Though it depended on the guy and my age. Only had a few crush, not too much. Just a little handful of boys- probably about three to five boys actually. One lasted for half a year (kindergarten, but that doesn’t count), another lasted for one hour (I was in fourth grade), and the last was…well…I started to have feelings for him in my 8th grade year of school..then it stopped during my freshman year since he got a girlfriend and I got a crush on my current crush…and the feelings are here still but I don’t feel as much for him as I do for the girl. Anyways, now I’m stating that I’m probably bisexual since I like a boy and a girl, but I’m leaning towards the girl right now, haha. I’m still questioning my sexuality since I’m only 15 going on 16 though.

Not really. I feel as though any possible story i would share would just confuse others or not make any sense. More or less annoy others as well. They’re not really bad or really good stories either, just things I would find any friend would really do…taking away the cuddling, odd looks from others when I converse with my crush, the aggressiveness we have with one another that’s also quite friendly, the touchiness we have or had (she has banned me from physically touching her for reasons I don’t understand), the times we feed one another and get really close, us wrestling to the point where one of us is pinned down and ending up complimenting each other, poke wars, and tickle fights.

First of all I think it’s great you’re writing this novel. So please let us know how it goes, I would like to see how it turns out. To answer your questions:
My age: 23 in college
How old was I when I realized I wasn’t straight: well its complicated I first knew I was different from the rest of the girls in my class when I was in fifth grade I was 10 but at the time I had no idea what it was. since I had no knowledge of gay/straight. I had a crush on my bestfriend and ended up being my first kiss. I remember I watched Titanic that year. Remember the scene when Rose lies down on the couch naked for Jack to draw her. Well that was a big eye opener for me, literally. Lol Then in middle school. You can imagine the awkwardness in gym class at the locker rooms. So in a way I always knew but I was closeted for a long time until college. Mostly because I witnessed homophobia and tried to avoid it at all costs. Even in my own family. If it helps your survey. I come from a Mexican, Catholic family. So homosexuality is not something you bring up at the dinner table. I remember in middle school and high school, I pretended to like guys just so my friend s wouldn’t notice me looking at girls.
Labels I identify: I’m not really into labels but if I’m asked I identify as lesbian. When I was younger I was always the tomboy in the group. And now I’m a bit more feminine but I still have that tomboy in me. Sometimes I just like to dress up for me and other times I feel uncomfortable and think it’s not who I am. That I’m just putting on an act.
Hardest person to come out to: I would say my mother. I have heard so many stories about people who are kicked out of home or disowned when they come out. That is just something I don’t want to risk.
Names I’ve been called: lesbian, lizzy, butch, dyke. The usual.
Have been harassed: thank god no. but there was a guy who got beaten up and ended up in a coma at a gay club I used to go to. And whenever I did go we had to be careful but thank god nothing ever happened. Now I’m just playing it safe.
How long did I question my identity /sexuality: well there were times in high school where I thought It was a phase. Or that if I liked girls the way guys did maybe I was a guy in a female body. But when I learned about homosexuality I realized what I was. and now in college I educated myself I even took woman’s studies classes.
Final note: I’m not sure how it went but I heard a while back that they may be starting homosexuality education in schools similar to sex education when we were in middle school. That would have been great to help those teenagers who are confused.
Hope this helps.

Your age: 15

How old were you when you realized you weren’t straight: 13

What labels do you use to identify yourself now: demisexual lesbian

What labels have you used in the past: asexual, grey-asexual, demisexual, straight, bisexual

How out are you: only to online friends. irl ones are somewhat homophobic and weird about it. :[

Who was/will be the hardest person to come out to? Why?: my in real life friends because my parents i know will accept it. however, most of my best friends come from catholic schools, and my closest of the three of them is Del, let’s call her. She seems like the most accepting type out of all of them and a few months ago we were sort of role-playing and having fun (not sexually or anything. we were acting out our favourite characters) and ended up making a movie. we were gonna do the scene in the titanic (don’t ever let go!!), but then she realized that we were both being female characters and backed up a bit, saying, “Wait, isn’t that a bit…. something /else/?” i knew she meant gay, and even though we were just goofing around, she was kind of weirded out by it and stuff. I could probably convince her that im not some weird perv, though.
Another one of my best friends, Sarah, is /very/ intolerant. Whenever Del and I start talking politics (our views are similar) Sarah butts in and starts calling us “Donkey traitors” and the such. Randomly, she will announce her views on current subjects (I can’t believe that muslim won the election! we’re all screwed! abortion should be outlawed no matter what! gays are disgusting and shouldn’t marry!) ((don’t ask me why i’m her friend, i love her all the same even if she is a bit rude.)) so i will NOT come out to her.
I have no clue about the third, grace. she is a panda and i don’t know about how she really is. grace is a total enigma.

Have you ever been called a derogatory name based on your sexuality or gender identity? nobody really knows… yet. and no.

Have you ever been physically harassed based on your sexuality or gender identity? no, i take martial arts for the past 7 years and i can very easily hurt someone, i demonstrated that in a demo the school had my academy for kung fu do.

Would you feel comfortable sharing some details or a story about one of those “yes”s? it’s not a yes???

How long did it take for you to stop questioning your identity? i’m still questioning it. i think it is very difficult for a person to settle on one single identity perfectly, but that’s ok because everyone is unique.

Is there any story you would like to share? It can be good or bad, about anything. i have a huge crush on this girl who somewhat sets off my ‘gaydar’ but she has the same name as me and i get all stuttery when i talk to her and it’s really awkward. just putting that out there because i love her so bad. ;O;