Infatuated… With my Boss/Co-Worker
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Yep, it’s one of those situations.
So, I’m 21, gay, and I work as a Nursing Assistant. I’m not out at work, since I take care of elders, people that have strong beliefs, and it would only cause turmoil. Some of my co-workers know, since we’ve become friends and all. But, my nurse, the nurse that I assist 3 out of my 5 days a week, does not. She’s my boss, but we also have to work together to ensure our patients get the care they need, so she’s also my co-worker, if that makes sense. So, here’s the problem. Well, problems – for one, she’s my Mom’s age, 40ish. That weirds me out a little, since I’m not into that whole cougar thing. Also, she’s like my boss, and I imagine working with someone that you’re in a relationship with would get weird. And the worst part, there’s a chance (rather small, but still there) she may be attracted to me too.
Funny story, I used to be scared of her. I dreaded working with her, since she has a habit of tearing new aids a new one. She doesn’t tolerate much of anything, including mess-ups, novice or experienced. Needless to say, I have been scorned by her a couple of times. She made me cry once. Not a fond memory. But as I’ve becomed more experienced in this profession (I’ve been doing this for almost a year now) she has begun to like me. Not in that way, at least, I don’t think she does… I dunno. But she actually smiles and laughs now, and over the past couple weeks I’ve grown this affection for her.
The thing is, I know I shouldn’t go for her. She’s at least 20 years older than me, I work with her, and there ‘s a good chance she doesn’t go for women like that. However, I noticed that lately, she’s been a little touchey with me. She touched my hand once, not a big deal. But a few days ago she touched my arm, and kept her hand there for a good 12 seconds. I felt the electricty from her touch. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I think there’s like, a 1 in 6000 chance that she’s attracted to me, too. Under normal circumstances, if she came on to me I’d turn her down. But I’ve been single for about 3 years, and I’ve become lonely and depressed. If, for some unknown reason, she tries to go for me, I don’t think I’ll be able to deny my need for companionship.
What should I do, if the incredibly unlikely happens? I mean, I like her, more than I really should, but the whole old-enough-to-be-my-mom thing… I don’t know.
PlanetSappho.com
Sounds like you admire her and aspire to be like her. Think about what you would do if it turns out that she does like you, how far would you take the relationship? If you can’t see yourself with her like that then leave it alone. Dating someone at work is not work the trouble if you don’t really want it.
I think you’ve pretty much answered your own question, but need some validation.
You are right, sleeping with someone you work with is not a good situation. If you then break up, you have to work with a lot of highly charged and negative emotions. It might cause you to have to find a new job, and jobs are not so easy to come by these days.
Also, she is older, and you seem to react negatively to that. Would you want to begin a relationship because you are feeling needy right now, and then cheat or break off because you later find the young woman you are looking for? I don’t think that would be fair. Maybe a one night stand, as long as you make it clear that’s all it will be.
I think if I were you I might try to find a date in a local bar, mcc church, online, or etc.