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Yep, it’s one of those situations.
So, I’m 21, gay, and I work as a Nursing Assistant. I’m not out at work, since I take care of elders, people that have strong beliefs, and it would only cause turmoil. Some of my co-workers know, since we’ve become friends and all. But, my nurse, the nurse that I assist 3 out of my 5 days a week, does not. She’s my boss, but we also have to work together to ensure our patients get the care they need, so she’s also my co-worker, if that makes sense. So, here’s the problem. Well, problems – for one, she’s my Mom’s age, 40ish. That weirds me out a little, since I’m not into that whole cougar thing. Also, she’s like my boss, and I imagine working with someone that you’re in a relationship with would get weird. And the worst part, there’s a chance (rather small, but still there) she may be attracted to me too.
Funny story, I used to be scared of her. I dreaded working with her, since she has a habit of tearing new aids a new one. She doesn’t tolerate much of anything, including mess-ups, novice or experienced. Needless to say, I have been scorned by her a couple of times. She made me cry once. Not a fond memory. But as I’ve becomed more experienced in this profession (I’ve been doing this for almost a year now) she has begun to like me. Not in that way, at least, I don’t think she does… I dunno. But she actually smiles and laughs now, and over the past couple weeks I’ve grown this affection for her.
The thing is, I know I shouldn’t go for her. She’s at least 20 years older than me, I work with her, and there ‘s a good chance she doesn’t go for women like that. However, I noticed that lately, she’s been a little touchey with me. She touched my hand once, not a big deal. But a few days ago she touched my arm, and kept her hand there for a good 12 seconds. I felt the electricty from her touch. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I think there’s like, a 1 in 6000 chance that she’s attracted to me, too. Under normal circumstances, if she came on to me I’d turn her down. But I’ve been single for about 3 years, and I’ve become lonely and depressed. If, for some unknown reason, she tries to go for me, I don’t think I’ll be able to deny my need for companionship.
What should I do, if the incredibly unlikely happens? I mean, I like her, more than I really should, but the whole old-enough-to-be-my-mom thing… I don’t know.