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Hey everyone, I’m a 19 year old college student and I just started seeing someone new a bit over a month ago. I really like her a lot and I know that she likes me, but there’s an issue…her ex.
My GF is best friends with her ex. They talk every day, and her ex is still really dependent on her for emotional support, even though the ex has a boyfriend. They’ve been friends for about six years and have always had a really strong relationship. Her ex is like her fallback girl, whenever my GF isn’t with someone, she’s more or less with her ex. They never really stopped talking after they broke up, they just became friends and it’s as if there’s still lingering feeings between them and it’s making me really uncomfortable…I’ve been having to think of our relationship as polyamorous in order to soothe my jealousy. But sometimes, it just gets to be too much and I get really upset. I’m not really sure what I should do…she’s going to a concert with her and a bunch of her friends this weekend and her ex is going to be staying overnight with her, IN HER BED, for two nights. I’m not really scared of anything physical happening because I trust my GF to be physically faithful to me, but I still feel like that’s a lot of intimacy to share with someone, particularly an EX who still gets jealous of me…
I’m not really sure what to do about all of this. I talked to her about it last night and she felt really bad that I was feeling like this and asked if there was anything she could do, and I said she could stop talking about her all of the time, but I don’t know if that’ll make me feel much better at this point. I said having her ex stay over would be okay because it’s a week away and I’m honestly not sure how I’d feel about it yet. But overall, I don’t know what to do…I’m not sure if I should keep trying to figure it out or if it’s just going to get worse. She’s been really good to me otherwise- she’s always surprising me and she makes me feel good. It’s just this one thing that’s bogging it down. It makes it hard to wholly enjoy our relationship.
I’m not sure if I should stick it out or just walk away. I really don’t want to end it but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Please help.