I guess I can see both sides of the argument. I absolutely get what you’re saying and I agree that it’s infuriating. At the same time, labels are for the people they belong to, and no one can label another person. I mean, there are lots of reasons a self-identified gay girl might sleep with a guy. Maybe she’s drunk, maybe she’s really lonely, maybe she just went through a couple of bad relationships and is feeling hopeless about girls, maybe he likes her and she thinks she should possibly give it a try. She might sleep with him and decide “hmm, maybe I am actually bi” or she might say “Uhh, okay. That was stupid of me. Never again. Ewww, penises are sooo gross!” Or anything in between.

Hope this helps

I don’t understand why some lesbians can be so hostile to those who have had sex with men (I’m not implying that you are being hostile but I have known some who can get very nasty about it). I have no interest in men but that being said I did have relations with men before I came out as a lesbian and I absolutely hated it. I went through a stage in the middle of high school where I thought I might be bisexual so I have experimented with men and I now know that I’m definitely a lesbian. There are some however who come out very young never having had those experiences sometimes as they get older these women have moments of doubt. Some of them buy into the “how can you know your a lesbian if you’ve never been with a man” line that straight people often give us. I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable for one of these women to experiment with a man just to make sure. Straight women can have their bi-curious moments and still be considered straight I really don’t see why it can’t be the same for lesbians.

Not to mention that some lesbians are very uncomfortable around men. Finding one’s self alone with a a man who is making sexual advances, particularly if that man is a stranger can be a very scary experience. For some it is simply a case of being too afraid to say no.

Sexuality is a fluid thing ; it can be instinctive and not hold any meaning, which is why a person can identify as a lesbian yet sleep with a man. There are no rules as to how someone identifies themselves though there are some obscured ideas of what is expected today. I think that people identify their sexuality to the gender they want to see themselves have a relationship with and feel most passionate in. Sex is not always a serious thing, after all we are human and as you can see on this forum, not all women are ready to identify themselves. Labeling only causes confusion as sexuality is a very subjective activity.

I used to date with men and I don’t regret about it because it helped me understand who I am. Who has never tasted bitter, knows not what is sweet )) And I agree with LIZ that sexuality is not just who you want to have sex with, first of all it is who you want to have relations with.