Why do girls who apparently have an issue with their sexuality keep coming onto me?
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Heres some backround info: i am a lipstick lesbian , 22. This is getting a bit frustrating lol, but it seems to me that girls who are either in denial or not comfortable with their sexuality and are attracted to me, find out that i am a “lesbian”, and then come onto me , they either open up to me and tell me they are a lesbian or bisexual ( when we are a bit tipsy), and some have made moves and kissed me. But then the next day act distant and give me the cold shoulder. One girl opens up every time she is a slight bit drunk ( after 2 beers) and tells me about how she has wanted me since the first time she met me, how i am so beautiful , but then freaks out because she has never been sexually with a girl and how i am so much hotter than her and she wants me to be impressed…. I try reassuring her that she looks great and we made plans to hangout the following night but then the next day gave me the cold shoulder and cancelled the plans and now i am feeling annoyed…another girl Who had a boyfriend, would always tell my gay guy friend to bring me along when we would go out at night and then last summer called me a few times late at night , I didnt pick up so I texted her back and she texted me back at 3 am that she wanted me to come chill at her place. (we all know what that means, like come on 3 am) Now I regret not going over there to chill because she acts kinda cold to me now. However, when drunk she still will act flirty and odd to me and say Lezzbehonest
but other times a bit colder to me As well, she LIKED a few of my fb pics one night she came home from the bar at 2:45 AM and im sure she was a bit liquored up . ummm wtf?..It is a completely different INTENSE story with this other girl, who heard i was a lesbian and acted extremely shy and nervous around me, and later in the night opened up told me she is a lesbian and nervously made a kissing move on me and we cuddled and madeout all night.. she walked around all night with her arm around me and we acted like a couple. Holding hands, kissing and making out all night. well after that night she avoided me LIKE THE PLAGUE for a year an a half, she is back in my life now tho and things have been steadily improving so i am thankful for that because i do really care about THIS girl. ( the full story about this girl has been posted on this site before, lol)… But so yea, stil she is confusing, and she keeps her personal life very secretive from her friends and in general, and she will act very flirtily to me when nobody is around. One time she saw me walking on campus with my head down looking at my ipod and apparently decided to run up to me , grab me pick me up and hug me with the Biggest smile on her face….. i was speechless. and we follow eachother on secret websites, but she avoids me, acts defensive, and even has RUN AWAY (lol no joke) sometimes when she is around her friends. However even when ppl arent around she still acts odd around me. Like all nervous and avoidy. she has never had a boyfriend and makes excuses to her friends as to why she isnt interested in a certain guy… and Her friends all think she is a lesbian ( i know a few of them). though ….. and then I talked it over with one of my best gay guy friends and he just says that because i am this super pretty girl and very genuine-hearted, girls who arent comfortable feel they can relate to me and therefore open up but then get scared? Situations like this keep happening tho, a girl who finds out that i really am not straight, then comes onto me and makes all the moves, tells me how much she loves it , etc, and things are great. Or she talks and opens up to me, I let her make all the moves on me. and then it’s like they freakout and act cold to me. What is going on? Why do i keep attracting these girls who clearly have some issue with their sexuality?!?!? Like, is something just wrong with my brain ( or theirs)??? lol i cant understand how people can be so flip-floppy. It makes me worried that I may have to settle for a guy some day and never be truly happy. any help or advice on the 3 stories with these girls and this issue, thanks




PlanetSappho.com
I think you need to put your foot down, when a girl makes a move,they want you to tell them where you stand. Just tel her how you feel,and see what happens. It is clear that she wants you to tel her that. Thats why she is freaking out.
Tel me what happens next
Lol- settle for a guy…. No dear- you just need to step outside of this homophobic circle and connect with real life lesbians- who know who they are and what they want – and don’t feel shame about being gay. Keep looking, you’ll find them
I used to have a similar problem. its a matter of immaturity. when you start meeting women that are actually comfortable with themselves, you’ll look back on these other girls and wonder why you wasted any energy caring.. and if you really care about that one girl, she needs a friend more than she needs a relationship. what’s the point in chasing a relationship if she can’t accept you or herself.
.. oh, and straight women use alcohol as an excuse to be sluts. it’s disrespectful if you ask me. just because your lesbian doesn’t mean your interested in every drunk girl that comes on to you.
I think it’s partially because you are a femme lesbian. Typically the most repressed women are lipstick lesbians who don’t think other lipstick lesbians exist.
I don’t know if this will help, but I am one of those confused girls, or used to be. I was exploring my sexuality about a year ago and I made the moves very agressively on a beautiful lesbian. Anyways, we had a great month of kissing, going on dates, etc.
I told her I had feelings for her, and she said she didn’t. I was heartbroken and moved across the country and cut off contact in order for myself to move on.
Now from her view, it can look like I was a repressed lesbian who was ashamed of the relationship and didn’t want anything to do with her, right? But that’s not the case at all. I have been coming out and I am not still not over her. I anticipate that it would take me a really long time.
My point being here–I agree with the other commenters. Spend time with people who are more sure of themselves. When people are unsure about themselves, it makes you unsure. But also keep in mind that it’s not personal with these women. Like me, I am head over heels in love with a woman–no, obsessed–and I’m now very proud to be gay.