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I met a girl last year in April, in our first meeting I did not notice her,she was in a crowed of old friends so I was not really look at girls as I am not completely out of the closet yet, I was just having some fun.
On our second meeting me and this girl ended up sitting and talking all day and also drinking, it started with a big group op people but in the afternoon it ended up with only me and her and another friend of mine. We were having deep conversations about how we got hurt by friends ect, such an open conversation, we were drinking the whole day though , even then I didn’t notice her in that way because I thought she was straight, sure she was a beautiful girl but I was just enjoying the company, the time came to go home so we had one last drink at the bar, we where taking photos and all of a sudden she came in next to me and stated to play with my arm, me being a bit drunk touching her leg, while all of this was going on my other friend went to the bathroom, am BAM she kissed me! IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING KISS OF MY LIFE! and I fell into the deepest love with her! I have kissed a few people before , guys and girls, but this kiss was something else, we were floating on a cloud! We enjoyed the kiss so much that when my friend came back we were still kissing.
After that she did not stay long , but were holding hands, and it was just as amazing experience , she felt like my sole mate at that very moment! Her mother came to get her because she knew we were drinking quite a bit.
We did not talk about what happened again, although to this day we have been having a lot of chemistry. I tried my very best to spend more time with her after that day, but then she started dating this guy so I kinda gave up the fight. We had these amazing moments that when our eyes meet the whole world would come to a stand still, one sms form her would make my day!
A few weeks ago I bbmed her again and I saw her again, she kept flirting with this guy to use him kind of as a shield and then the next week I saw her again and it ended up just being the 3 of us, poor guy must have felt like a 3rd wheel as the 2 of us where talking and laughing and even flirting.
I have noticed she does not want to be alone with me, I think she is scared of something happening if we are alone! I have a feeling she is scared of what people would think and also scared to disappoint her mother, but I can still sense this chemistry between us, she is the friendliest nicest person you will ever meet, but not towards me, she is always teasing me, joking with me, she likes to push me to the edge with teasing me and then says I’m only joking! She treats me different. I have to admit she makes me nervous, I stumble over my words sometimes which I would never do! I am also not completely out of the closet yet, but I’m pretty sure my family and friends knows anyway, this would not be my first lesbian relationship, I really want to have a chance with this girl!
So I guess what I’m asking is , does she feel the same with her treating me different form all her other friends? And how do I go about getting to be with her? I am still very much in love with her!