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Hi, I’m a 29 year old lesbian, my partner is 28. We’ve been together for 5 years, and lived together for 4.
About two years ago, she pulled her back in a work-related injury, and still has chronic flare-ups of stiffness and pain in it and her hips. I’ve urged her to see a chiropractor, but she’s resistant and our insurance won’t cover most chiropractic services. But since then, I guess I became emphatic to her injury, because it made sex difficult and our sex life tapered off. I’ve tried rekindling it a few times, but it only lasts a week or two before tapering off again.
I should also add that I’m currently in the closet with my parents. I had come out when I was 19 and still living with them, only to have them send me to a therapist to ‘fix’ me on the threat of it or be kicked out of their home. As my job at the time was only paying 6.50 an hour, I did the therapy and pretended to get better. I think this has also put a strain on the relationship.
Recently though, about 3 months ago she proposed the idea of an ‘open’ relationship because she was interested in another girl, who she works with. I initially was okay with the idea, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I was becoming insanely jealous and resentful towards this other person, and within two days of okaying it I backed out. I asked for her to try to work on our relationship first, before she attempted anything like that. There’s been some improvement, but last night she brought the idea up again because as she put it ‘the feelings won’t go away’. We had a huge argument and I went to bed crying.
What should I do? Is there any hope of saving this?