So Confused.. I don’t know what to do!!!

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Hello, I’m a teenager. Ok so the reason for this post is I’m having one of the fallen for a friend problems right now. Well ok so lets call this girl “C’ just to make this less confusing. This is probably going to end up being long, but please read this.

Well I’ve known “C” for about 2 years. We’re really good friends. We tell each other everything. I would never do anything to hurt her. I know that I’m not straight. I’m at least Bi. However I have no idea if she’s lesbian or bi or straight. She says she’s straight but a lot of people think otherwise.

She’s done many things that make me think she isn’t straight. There are far too many to remember.. so here are the one’s I can remember (sorry if there’s a lot)

Well one of the things is we hug for really long sometimes, like really long. Like this one time I ran up to her and gave her a hug and it ended up being a hug from behind. Then she turn around and we hugged again. We were both stepping back and forth. And she raised her one leg up slightly and wrapped it slightly around my leg (I don’t know why) We stayed like that for probably a couple minutes. That was a few months ago though.

She’s also tried to kiss me multiple times a few months ago. Like she asked if we could pretend if we  were about to kiss to see what everyone thought. (weird right?) And she’s leaned in multiple times for a kiss and freaked out when I didn’t accept it. (I wasn’t really sure of my feelings then)

And she’s asked me to a dance before like last winter. But she said I’d have to dress up like a guy. I thought she was joking though but she kept saying she really wished she could take me or that I could be guy.

She’s asked me out a few months ago. It was a few nights after we had hung out, but she asked right if front of my mom who doesn’t know (I’m in the closet still). And my mom interrupted me and basically said no I’m straight and will only date boys. She was like “Yeah I know, but…” and then she looked down and didn’t finish her sentence. I wanted to say yes sooooo badly.

Ok and remember I said she asked me out after we had hung out a few nights before. Well that night was really different. The whole day was. Ok well it was on spring break. We were hanging out with a our two other friends let’s call them “S” and “J” they’re both girls and a bit older. I wasn’t doing anything but she kept getting really close to me. And when I was turning ( away from her) she quickly grabbed my hoodie by around my waist and pulled me in for a hug. I was shocked by this but went along with it. And it was a long hug too. We talked as usual afterwards, she still being clingy. Then at about 6PM or so we drove to a place to hang out. Both of us in the back seat and “S” and “J” in the front. So when we  got there she was still being clingy. Everywhere I went she went, anywhere I sat she either sat on my lap or next to me. She was glancing at me all the time too. We put our arm around each other while we stood. And normally any other time she’d ask “why do we always do this?’ But she didn’t ask at all that night. And when I was sitting down she sat right next to me. She ran her hand up and down my leg real quick. So I turned to look at her and she had that “was that ok?” look and I smiled and she giggled.

Well soon it was time to go home. We sat in the same seats. It had gotten really cold and there was a jacket In the back of the car and “C’ was using it as a blanket. Well we ended up resting on each others shoulders the whole ride. And I was making jokes the whole way and even just talking despite the fact everyone was tired. She laughed at everything I said. It was nice. But it was weird that she was all over me every single minute. And then she asked me out a few days afterward believe me, I wanted so badly to say yes but something held me back from standing up for myself. I know I was stupid.

And another thing is we are really touchy. Like more so with each other than anyone else. Like when we stand next to each other she always find my hand and plays with it, holds it, or tickles it. I already explained the long hugs. We have a lot of eye contact when talking. We’re always with each other; everyday. We text each other all day. Like literally when we wake up til when we fall asleep.  And she likes it. But freaks and thinks something is wrong if I don’t text her much or not at all for a day. Also she sometimes when she’s hugging me or sitting on my lap will put our foreheads together with her arm around my neck. And she’ll put her hand on my cheek like sometimes when she’s asking if I’m ok with something.

She’s kinda like jokingly (I thought it was anyway) humped me before, like multiple times.

The things she says too. Like she said to me a few months ago that she’s sees the sparkle in my eyes. And she always says she loves me.

But here’s why I’m mainly confused. Ok so maybe a few weeks ago. We were sitting and she was holding my hand and said “I love you.” and then Some little girl (friend of a friend) thought that we liked each other or something. And “C” looked at me weirdly but we didn’t say anything about it. And this could have nothing to do with the following but I think it might. Well a few days passed. Things were normal. We were still talking flirty and being close. Then another day passed. I had barely seen her really. And we were hanging out with a bunch of friends. Well she eventually had to go and I gave her a hug and she pretend kiss me and said “that’s all you’ll ever get from me, I’m sorry.” And she released the hug. I said “what” It had shocked me because it was  out of the blue. And she kept saying she was sorry. And she left.

Now I was confused. I still am because the following day she kept hugging me and was really close. Like normal, and she was being all flirty. And then eventually she had to leave and she gave me a goodbye hug and it was a long one and she was rubbing my lower back. And then she ended up giving me two more hugs before she left. And then the following day I didn’t see her and she sent me a text saying “I miss you” I missed her so I replied the same and she kept sending me weird texts and we still text each other all day.

And now a week or two later she is being normal again. Like still being close.

But like why would she say that? And then act all weird the next day? I am confused!

Also, do you think she isn’t straight? What should I do? How could maybe I flirt with her to maybe see if she feels the same about me as I do her without it being extremely noticeable? Thank you so much for reading this!!! And sorry for it being so long, but this has been really bugging me.

 

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