I don’t want to cheat, but I’m curious…

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I am with a relationship with a girl currently who I hope to be with for the rest of my life (It’s been 7 months). Only problem is that she is my first for everything. First relationship, I love you, and sexual partner. I love her very much, but I can’t help but want others. Since we cannot be together due to my mom’s problems with, not only her gender, but age difference (I’m 18, she is 22) we’ve got to be very secretive and sneak around a lot. I crave the intimacy that I don’t get to have with her through others and I also want to feel what sex is like with a male. But I don’t want to cheat on her and lose her trust, especially when I’ve worked so hard to get it. But I really feel like I’d get away with it… I don’t want to be horrible and hypocritical because I’ve always talked about how much I hate cheating and I know if she did I’d be devastated, but still?

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