Posts by Adriane01:

Out Of The Closet: My Story

September 28th, 2008

My coming out story is an interesting one.  When I was eight, I used to play “house” with my female friend. We would kiss. I also played this game with another friend. I guess I was comfortable with the idea of kissing another girl very early on.

When I was twelve, I met my best friend in science class. I’ll call her Annie. We used to play this game too, but as years passed, it evolved into something more serious. We were saying “I love you” in 9th grade but no one knew. We had plans to tell our parents eventually. I also noticed that in 8th grade, I looked at girls in a romantic way.

My mother is very open minded and I somehow knew she would be okay with my being gay.  One day when I was 15, we were in the car and I said “I love Annie”  She said “Of course you do, she’s your best friend.” And I said: “No, I love Annie. Like, in love.” My mother looked at me for a moment and said “You know, I’ve been with women too. I used to consider myself bisexual.” After this she was completely supportive.

My parents are divorced. My Dad is a very sweet Italian man who is intimidating at first, until you realize he’s a big softy. I didn’t tell my father I was gay until I was seventeen. On the day that Annie broke up with me.  Annie told me she didn’t love me anymore and she was attracted to men. I was so distraught that I asked my Dad to come pick me up. I explained that Annie left me. Once he realized what I meant, he cried. He was so angry and upset that I felt I couldn’t tell him. I had been making up boyfriends for years. He said, “You’re my kid, I love you no matter what.”

I guess you can say I have been out to everyone since the age of seventeen. I am very lucky to have such a supportive family.  I am still surprised that my Dad has been so accepting. I am femme and tend to date femme-ish women, so my gender expression still puzzles him. He has very old fashioned ideas about gender, but he is willing to learn.  

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Serial Monogamy/Bisexual Girlfriend

March 14th, 2008

I’ve been out since the age of 17, to my parents, my friends, etc.  I fell in love with my best friend when I was 14, and she broke up with me when we were 17. She told me she was straight and didn’t love me anymore. I think this had a lasting effect on me. Years later, this same girl told me she actually never stopped loving me, but she was just afraid I’d break up with her when I went off to college.

A few months after we broke up, I met and fell in love with a  lesbian who had just come out of the closet.  We fell really, really hard for one another. But she was intense. She kept talking about us being fated for each other,  how she wanted to have children with me, etc.  I loved her very much, but in a way I felt like I was going from one marriage to another. When we went off to separate colleges, the long distance was hard for me. I asked her if we could have an open relationship. She couldn’t. After a long while, I ended up cheating on her. We broke up after dating for 2 and a half years.

About 7 months after that, (I am 21 at this point) my amazing, straight friend and I start to spend a lot of time together.  I have always thought this friend might be bisexual, and as it turns out, she actually tried to come out as such to a close friend of hers in childhood. This friend completely shut her out, and she repressed any feelings she had for women from then on.

Eventually, we end up falling for one another. She tells me she has never felt this way for anyone, has never been so attracted to anyone else be they male or female, and that she’s in love with me. She comes out as a queer woman, we live together now and have been dating for three years. (That brings us up to the present, I am 23 years old). My problem is that I’m afraid that one day she will wake up and tell me that she is actually straight, and doesn’t love me (just like my first girlfriend did). I don’t want to be afraid of her bisexuality; I’ve dated men in the past myself, but it is intimidating. I am constantly trying to decipher her sexual orientation in my head. I ask her to give me examples of her attractions for women, if she thinks she would have come out even if we never fell in love, etc. Any opinions? Thanks.

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