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Gender play?

January 22nd, 2010

I am wondering what kind of gender play people out there do? And how that fits in your relationships?

I am becoming more and more interested in playing around with my gender expression and really want to talk about it but don’t have much of a queer community yet. Or actually the queer community I do have is rather conservative in terms of personal style. I am having fun dressing up and I saw some very butchy performers the other night and all I could think was, I could do that. Not perform on stage but just create that look on my body. I came home and took like a zillion awesome photos of myself as a guy. I sent an androgyny blog link to a friend who’s a photographer and told him I was inspired by the pictures. He said he wants to do some photography with me and I totally want to, but I’m scared of his reaction if I bust out with a mustache. I think his idea of androgyny is Shane from the L-word. So I have been playing around.

I haven’t told any of this to the woman I’m seeing because I’m worried she might freak and not find it sexy at all even though I really really do. (She identifies more on the male side of things and I am worried she might think I am moving into her territory…) So I just thought it would be interesting to hear from others… What kinds of gender playfulness do you enact? What do you consider your gender identity to be? How does your orientation to gender fit in with your relationships either your intimate relationships or your relationships with friends, work, family etc? How has that changed over time?

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A poem

October 28th, 2009

This isn’t really a problem but I just wanted to put on this site a poem I am enjoying by Mary Oliver. I love it because it is about allowing pleasure to lead us to what is true in this world. I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I had allowed myself to live my pleasure sooner. But then I don’t worry about it too much, because I am so happy to be in touch with what’s real, right now. Best wishes to all on your passionate journeys.

Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

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