Posts by Audiva:

Coming Out In The Midwest

March 3rd, 2008

I need help! Three years ago I moved away from liberal Madison, WI to small town Idaho to escape the person I felt I was “becoming.” I have known since I was young that I was a lesbian and yet I spent years supressing it and trying to blend into the straight community. By the time I was 23 I knew people were starting to question my sexual orientation, which urged me to deny it even more. Finally I couldn’t handle it and so I started to explore; I started to live a secret life.

I went to gay bars and LGBT meetings and started to connect to women like me. For the first time in my life I could breathe and then my secret was found out by my brother’s wife. Instead of coming out I denied it, packed my bags and moved to northern Idaho. I thought Idaho would force me to climb back in the closet and then I could go home again and everything would be “fine,” but instead I am OUT and PROUD within my community.

Now I am 26 and getting ready to move back to the midwest and I fear I will crawl into the closet again. How do I come clean after my life has been based on a foundation of lies; how do I tell those I love that their biggest fear is true?

1 Comment "