Posts by beby24:
Out Of The Closet: My Coming Out Story… A Work In Progress
September 25th, 2008
I didn’t realize that I was bi until one fine day in the college library…
I had always been attracted to women, but I always thought that it was a comparison thing. Like “oh, her boobs are bigger than mine.” Then my mind started saying “wow, those are some awesome breasts”. I knew this… but I never really told anyone. I was just like most other girls at the time. I had that “one time in college, I got really drunk…” story. But that doesn’t make you gay… that makes you curious. I actually dated one girl, but we were so undercover I thought that it was just a sex thing. It was so easy to see her too, just a simple “I’m going to Brandi’s house” and mom didn’t have a clue! Until I started these series of classes I didn’t realize how much of a lezzy I really am.
The first one, I met her and we got to know each other a bit. The second, we became friends. The third class was in the fall semester. When the weather is warm, but getting that chill in the air. We would play some 1 one 1 soccer before our Tai Chi class. These sessions are what made me realize that I had a TOTAL thing for her. She could make me laugh more than anyone. Just by being herself. One day, we were in the library working on a paper… well, we were trying to work on a paper. We ended up talking about ourselves and she disclosed that she was bi. I couldn’t hold the words in at all. “Me TOO!” I practically yelled in the middle of the quiet library! She was actually surprised and didn’t expect it from me. Which is weird since I was undressing her with my eyes for a few weeks at that point. She is in a relationship that’s been going on for about 4 years now. So it’s just a fleeting idea for her and me to be really together.
After this whole thing with her started, I couldn’t keep it in. I was gay (or half gay as I like to call it) and I had to tell people. I started with the friends that knew me the best and it was so easy. They were either indifferent or totally happy and wanted to celebrate. I told a few family members. My sister was the hardest one, but it went easier than I thought. I still don’t think that she believes me. The day that I bring a girl home, I’m sure that will break the barrier.
I haven’t told my parents. It’s been a rough childhood and things will continue to come up and make life difficult. I feel that until I have someone special in my life, then there is no reason as to why I should tell them. The one advantage that I have is that my uncle is gay. I’m hoping that will soften the blow. I have to admit that I’ve given mom hints. I started buying the L word series and I told her it’s a show about lesbians. She seemed indifferent about it. Just looked at me funny actually. My ex and I still refer to each other as “my wife”. So, if she already knows, she just isn’t telling me. lol. Like I said, its a work in progress, one day I hope to put the completed (and maybe summarized) story on here to share with what I feel has become my Lesbian Family.
Gay Country Bumpkin
September 15th, 2008Hello all. I’ve known that I am bi or half-gay as I like to say for about 2 years now. Only my best friends, sister and most of the men I know are aware of this. I haven’t had an actual relationship with a girl in 3 years because I live in a very isolated area. I’m close to some major cities, but since I was raised a country-bumpkin I’m scared of going into the city to go to any gay clubs. Not out of fear of being seen by someone or anything… but simply out of fear of where do I leave my car? How do I get out of the city? What if I get lost?
I guess that I am on here to simply meet some people… no matter how far and to not feel so alone. When you’re the only lez girl within a 30 mile radius it starts to feel a little lonely. My one and only girlfriend moved to another state a few years ago and we knew that a relationship wouldn’t take that kind of strain. Every girl that I have been with since or have had any interest in has been only about sex. I want more. I want that woman to woman connection. Even if it is only as friends. Just looking to have some connection with someone. It’s far too lonely in the middle of nowhere and no girl to hold.
