Posts by entaoed:

Am I Reading Too Far Into Her Actions?

October 12th, 2008

I have asked my close friends for advice about this, but what they have said seems illogical in consideration of how complicated my relationship with this woman is. I also believe I may be completely inaccurate about her interest in me but I am not sure.

So the first time I suspected she may be interested, I actually completely dismissed the event for awhile until something else happened. We were at an event and she stood up against my back and was reading over my shoulder. I glanced over my shoulder quickly and then decided just to let her be in “my space.” We were with a few other individuals so it is not like I could make a move or anything. The next day we went out for drinks with a few other people we work with. She offered to buy my drink at least twice, however, a guy we were with offered to buy both of our drinks, which he did. So we worked together a few times during the summer, and then I had the opportunity to start working across the hall from her office, and yes she is my “boss” in my job capacity, but there is more to it than this because of the other dynamic of our relationship. On a Friday a few weeks after I started working more closely with her, I stopped by work prior to going to the gym so I was wearing gym clothes, including a visor. She came into my office and I handed her a computer disc and thought we were done so I went back to what I was working on. She stood there somewhat beside/behind me and didn’t say anything for what seemed to be a minute or two. I finally turned to her, still not saying anything-I didn’t know what to say. Then she said, “It’s been a really rough week.” Whoa, I didn’t realize our relationship involved emotional support at that point in time. Before I could say anything, she apologized for complaining to me. I told her it was “OK.” So at that time I began to think back to what had happened a few months earlier and I still cannot figure it out or make a “move.” She brought two new employees into my office to introduce us, and afterward the three of them stood in my office discussing their job tasks-which have nothing to do with me, one of them (not her) finally said something about relocating so I could get back to work, she said something to me and patted me on the back before they left.

I am not so sure about how open she is to dating a woman. I am in the middle of a divorce myself, but have been with women prior to that (although she doesn’t know this) and in most contexts, would be considered “butch.” I would consider her femme and she also was involved with a man, but they broke up awhile ago. The thing that makes my situation feel so confusing is the complicated relationship we are involved in. She could get in trouble professionally if we did become involved and someone found out. I could never put her in a situation that would question her integrity. This facet of our relationship will most likely end in May or June, so I keep telling myself just to wait. I don’t know how much more sleep I can afford to lose though. And I am starting to sense that I am being cold because I don’t want her to “catch-on” to my interest in her. Holding the door for her the other day probably didn’t help me in that case.

I know she has been stressed out at work lately (because she talks about it) and has trouble sleeping; again she made a statement to someone about why she was drinking an energy drink. I don’t recall her being so stressed out prior to my arrival, but I am also thinking it may be because she is no longer in a relationship. She is in her late thirties (I am in my mid-thirties) and talks about when she has kids etc. so I know she wants to settle down, I just don’t know with who…

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